This is just exhausting.
Any tips?
I'm not housebound, i leave my house but when i do i'm hyper aware and i have to be with safe people, not too far away from home and always having a way to escape/get back home.
If i don't have these things i spiral into terrible panic attacks, but im tired and i don't want to carefully plan my life around this illness.
I'm so excited for Everlife2!!
I remember playing Everlife and being sad that they stopped updating it and i just found out about everlife2 being released soon 😭😭 I hope it will be as fun as the first
I had an abortion three years ago at 17, it was traumatic and extremely painful.
I never wanted to have a child, but sometimes all i can do is cry and ask to myself what could've been (even if realistically, nothing good).
I still wonder what would've my baby looked like, or if my ex was going to be a great father.
Im grateful that i made the right choice for me and that i was so strong to go through with that but i can help but mourn a loss of something i never even wanted.
I (20F) used to be an extroverted girl and i was always going to parties with my friends, going back home in the morning, having spontaneous plans and i have a lot of crazy stories from that time of my life, but agoraphobia has taken that away from.
Tonight my friend asked me to go the club with her and ofc i refused like I always do, and she jokingly texted me "the streets miss you" and it made me mourn the life that i used to have before this disorder took over and made me practically house bound.
I (20F) have always been a drinker, but since last year (when i started to develop agoraphobia) i've became an alcoholic.
It's the only thing that helps: after a stressful day of anxiety and fear after having to leave my house (going to work) i drink, and if i have to leave for any reason other than work i have to drink at least 4 drinks to be able to function normally and not spiral.
I know it's not healthy at all, and i should probably start my prescribed medicine, but i bet that beer tastes better than zoloft lol.
Does anyone else get this too?
The only way i'm able to enjoy an outing with friends is if i have enough drinks and i fear that im slowly falling into an alcohol dependency.
I've (20F) had agoraphobia for the past year (started very suddenly from a panic attack at a rave) and i can't deal with this anymore.
I used to do EVERYTHING (parties, traveling with friends, waking up and going outside, going to different cities alone)
Now i genuinely can't go to the supermarket alone without feeling like i'm about to faint.
The worst thing is, my anxiety gets better if my parents are around.
Like if i'm with my parents i could genuinely go travel across the world because i feel safe, but i'm a 20 year old woman, i don't want to ask mom to pick me up from anywhere cause i can't stand it anymore or to ask my dad to come with me to the doctors cause i would pass away otherwise.
I feel stupid and stuck and i want to go back to everything i used to have and took for granted
I've recently bought a ps5 and the first game i wanted to play was Detroit Become Human and i just finished it.
I genuinely wish i could replay the game for the first time again and i wish i didn't spoil to myself that Alice was actually an android.
I think playing it in 2018 was way better, with the advancement of AI now I as well grew hateful of androids/artificial intelligence.
As anyone else played the game recently?
i'm 20, i started to have agoraphobia last year at 19.
During all of my teens I used to go to raves, travel, hangout with friends and i couldn't stand staying at home doing nothing, I was a very free spirited girl.
Now everything just changed and the only thing that i can barely stand to do outside my house is going to work.
I see people post here all the time about them being finally able to do certain things outside their homes, but i feel like majority of the people suffering with agoraphobia have struggled with it since they were really young, so it's often a "first time" thing for them to maybe take a plane alone or go to a club, which is not my case. I know how good it feels to be carefree and joyful, and now all i feel when trying to enjoy my life is intense fear and anxiety.
So my question is, will I ever get better? I'm not talking about "managing the symptoms" and being ABLE to do certain things, i want to live again fully.
Will i ever get to that point again or should i just mourn the life i used to live?
I just ordered a ps5 for my 20th birthday and i'm about to switch from the Xbox one that i had since i was 11.
It's crazy to think that it was with me through all of my teens, playing split screen with my sister, my first sleepovers with my friends, my first boyfriend coming over and playing together, the 2020 quarantine, when i dropped out of hs and was so depressed, through winter days after school and summer nights spent gaming with my friends.
I just get so emotional and i feel dumb lol.
Anyone else gets this? :')
Wow i just turned 20 a few hours ago!
I'm so scared of growing up and abandoning my teens, but i'm also washed over by this wave of intense self love, i experienced so much in just 20 years of life and im so grateful that i'm young and healthy.
i can't wait to spend the rest of my life with myself, im so so so grateful for my friends, family and for the resilience that my curios childhood self, my awkward preteen self and my angsty teen self showed, im so in love with life even with it's ups and downs.
Just had to share this thought here, this year, i really wanna love and live my life to the fullest :)
I've (20F) been friends with Gabe (22M) for a year now, we have a friend (my bsf) in common and she introduced us. She did it because he kept saying that i looked cute. We started talking and jokingly flirting, then after a couple months i got into a relationship and we didn't really talk much.
(For context: Gabe lives 4 hours away from me and we met twice, but it was always me, him and my bsf)
I broke up with my ex and after a while me and gabe started to chat more again and since we both like gaming we started to game together a couple of days a week, and our inside joke of us "flirting" was still there. (we would say stuff like "ohh so you do like me uhh??" "yeah you just say this cause you are so deeply in love with me!!" but atp it's been a joke for a year)
Since march tho we've been gaming pretty much everyday, and the flirty jokes increased, we talk on discord like 5+ hours a day when we both don't work.
Me and him already met twice but my best friend was always with me so nothing really happened.
The thing is, i'm meeting him alone in a couple of days and idk what might happen.
I think he does like me ?? but the fact is i don't HOW MUCH.
Because i really do like him, like a lot, and i just recently realized that, but im also so scared of ruining our friendship, like i go visit him, we sleep together and then he says something like "yeah i like you but not *that* way so i just want to keep this casual" and this would drive me nuts and would cause us to not be friends anymore after having him as part of my routine for so long.
TL;DR; Should i ignore my feelings and just stay friends to not ruin our friendship?
Should i make my move and whatever happens, happens?
I've (20F) been friends with Gabe (22M) for a year now, we have a friend (my bsf) in common and she introduced us. She did it because he kept saying that i looked cute. We started talking and jokingly flirting, then after a couple months i got into a relationship and we didn't really talk much.
(For context: Gabe lives 4 hours away from me and we met twice, but it was always me, him and my bsf)
I broke up with my ex and after a while me and gabe started to chat more again and since we both like gaming we started to game together a couple of days a week, and our inside joke of us "flirting" was still there. (we would say stuff like "ohh so you do like me uhh??" "yeah you just say this cause you are so deeply in love with me!!" but atp it's been a joke for a year)
Since march tho we've been gaming pretty much everyday, and the flirty jokes increased, we talk on discord like 5+ hours a day when we both don't work.
Me and him already met twice but my best friend was always with me so nothing really happened.
The thing is, i'm meeting him alone in a couple of days and idk what might happen.
I think he does like me but the fact is i don't HOW MUCH.
Because i really do like him, like a lot, and i just recently realized that, but im also so scared of ruining our friendship, like i go visit him, we sleep together and then he says something like "yeah i like you but not *that* way so i just want to keep this casual" and this would drive me nuts and would cause us to not be friends anymore after having him as part of my routine for so long.
TL;DR; Should i ignore my feelings and just stay friends to not ruin our friendship?
Should i make my move and whatever happens, happens?
I've (20F) been friends with Gabe (22M) for a year now, we have a friend (my bsf) in common and she introduced us. She did it because he kept saying that i looked cute. We started talking and jokingly flirting, then after a couple months i got into a relationship and we didn't really talk much.
(For context: Gabe lives 4 hours away from me and we met twice, but it was always me, him and my bsf)
After i broke up with my ex, i started talking with Gabe again (it was like october), and we've been gaming pretty often together, keeping the flirting jokes and always saying things like "oooh so you do like me??" and other dumb stuff like that just teasing each other.
Since march we've been talking way more, basically everyday, and recently we get on call and game for maybe 5+ hours a day (there's usually other people gaming with us tho) but the jokingly-flirting became way more.
I have to meet up in a few days and i genuinely don't know what to do, in the past months i started to like him a lot, not only as a joke, but i've had a lot of bad experiences and i feel distrustful of relationships, im also scared to lose him as a friend because he really became my favourite part of the day.
Should i go visit him and just act like a friend?
Should i be a bit more flirty with him irl or make a big move?
i dont know what to do im so thorn.
I think that he also likes me, but im not sure if he just does it to keep our jokes up or if he also has some real feelings for me.
I (19F) like my best friend's (19F) friend (22M) and she is acting weird about it.
Me and my bestfriend (that i'll call Emma) have always been reaaaally close, and never had any major conflicts, we've been friends for 5 years and shared different friend groups. She has ocd and is way more introverted than i am, so she has less friends than me, she has also been in a relationship for the past 2 years.
A couple of years ago Emma was talking to a guy that lived far away from us (4 hours away), they ended the situationship but stayed friends, and she met all of his friends, including Kyle.
Kyle and Emma became really close, and she often went to his city to spend time with him and the rest of that friend group.
She always talked good about them, especially Kyle, and i was happy she had a good friend, me and Kyle followed each other on instagram and casually liked each other stories, just because we had a friend in common.
After some time (like last year) Kyle started jokingly saying to Emma that i looked really good and that i was his future gf, i kept joking around with him but it was just an inside joke and i never took it to heart, Emma didn't seem to mind this at all.
After a couple of months me and Kyle found out that we both liked playing video games, and since november we've been playing together everyday, leading to me and him talking more often than Emma and Kyle.
Me and Emma went to visit him back in october and nothing major happened, then in february he came to our city during a festival and we had a blast, but Emma was acting almost protective, like always making sure that she was way closer to him than I was. Then i was dancing and they were not and she told me that I "always have to take the spotlight", but we were literally at a festival???
Anyways, sometimes i would casually mention that i think he was cute, nothing serious, and she always ignored me or sighed.
Whatever, again i didn't mind cause they've been friends for way longer.
Then she started to act jealous, i saved him in my contacts as "love of my life aka coolest guy ever aka Kyle" and she seemed really upset and asked me if we are doing something behind her back, i just laughed it off and said it's because of an inside joke that we made while gaming together.
Emma often tried to assert her "superiority" in terms of being closer to him, and also tried to slightly embarrass me in front of him.
Now me and Kyle are keeping this going, and I know that it's just a friendship with a subtle flirt, but i'm starting to kinda like him fr.
We are going back to visit him and the rest of the group in june and i think something might happen between me and Kyle.
(The reason why i mentioned her OCD is because she often tries to separate different friend groups and is very jealous of her friends, but she never acted this was when i got close to anyone that she introduced me too, only with him)
TL;DR;: Why does she act like that? Do you think i should just stop talking to him? She becomes really mean and possessive about him and i don't want to ruin me and Emma's friendship over him.
Me and my bestfriend (that i'll call Emma) have always been reaaaally close, and never had any major conflicts, we've been friends for 5 years and shared different friend groups. She has ocd and is way more introverted than i am, so she has less friends than me, she has also been in a relationship for the past 2 years.
A couple of years ago Emma was talking to a guy that lived far away from us (4 hours away), they ended the situationship but stayed friends, and she met all of his friends, including Kyle.
Kyle and Emma became really close, and she often went to his city to spend time with him and the rest of that friend group.
She always talked good about them, especially Kyle, and i was happy she had a good friend, me and Kyle followed each other on instagram and casually liked each other stories, just because we had a friend in common.
After some time (like last year) Kyle started jokingly saying to Emma that i looked really good and that i was his future gf, i kept joking around with him but it was just an inside joke and i never took it to heart, Emma didn't seem to mind this at all.
After a couple of months me and Kyle found out that we both liked playing video games, and since november we've been playing together everyday, leading to me and him talking more often than Emma and Kyle.
Me and Emma went to visit him back in october and nothing major happened, then in february he came to our city during a festival and we had a blast, but Emma was acting almost protective, like always making sure that she was way closer to him than I was. Then i was dancing and they were not and she told me that I "always have to take the spotlight", but we were literally at a festival???
Anyways, sometimes i would casually mention that i think he was cute, nothing serious, and she always ignored me or sighed.
Whatever, again i didn't mind cause they've been friends for way longer.
Then she started to act jealous, i saved him in my contacts as "love of my life aka coolest guy ever aka Kyle" and she seemed really upset and asked me if we are doing something behind her back, i just laughed it off and said it's because of an inside joke that we made while gaming together.
Emma often tried to assert her "superiority" in terms of being closer to him, and also tried to slightly embarrass me in front of him.
Now me and Kyle are keeping this going, and I know that it's just a friendship with a subtle flirt, but i'm starting to kinda like him fr.
We are going back to visit him and the rest of the group in june and i think something might happen between me and Kyle.
(The reason why i mentioned her OCD is because she often tries to separate different friend groups and is very jealous of her friends, but she never acted this was when i got close to anyone that she introduced me too, only with him)
TL;DR;: Why does she act like that? Do you think i should just stop talking to him? She becomes really mean and possessive about him and i don't want to ruin me and Emma's friendship over him.