u/funnel_out

I’m a 30 year old guy living on the west coast in the PNW. I work in tech. Have a decently high net worth. East Asian American. Never been in a real long term relationship.

Been told by girls I’ve matched with on apps that I look good and take care of myself. I was on dating apps for half a year. I’ve gotten some first dates on Hinge, normally for coffee, but very rarely 2nd dates. Gotten the “you’re a great guy but I didn’t feel any romantic connection” text a lot. I'm not someone to try and woo someone on the first date since I'm pretty introverted.

Part of the issue is the demographics of the west coast. Competition is so fierce on the west coast since the number of single guys way outnumber the number of single girls. For every girl you match with, there are other 20 guys like you. So if there's something about you they don't like, they can just reject and move on. It’s just frustrating going through a constant stream of setting up dates and rejection. Here, it’s hard to meet women outside of work that isn’t on dating apps.

The feeling is bad, when I watch everyone around me get engaged or married. I’m worried that if manage to get a relationship, I won’t know what to do. My parents also don't know anyone, so they won't help me find a gf. I feel like I will have to accept that I will be single forever.

I’m a 30 year old guy living on the west coast in the PNW. I work in tech. Have a decently high net worth. East Asian American. Never been in a real long term relationship.

Been told by girls I’ve matched with on apps that I look good and take care of myself. I was on dating apps for half a year. I’ve gotten some first dates on Hinge, normally for coffee, but very rarely 2nd dates. Gotten the “you’re a great guy but I didn’t feel any romantic connection” text a lot. Which is strange to me since I barely know them! I'm not someone to try and “woo” someone on the first date since I'm pretty introverted.

Part of the issue is the demographics of the west coast. Competition is so fierce on the west coast since the number of single guys way outnumber the number of single girls. For every girl you match with, there are other 20 guys like you. So if there's something about you they don't like, they can just reject and move on. It’s just frustrating going through a constant stream of setting up dates and rejection. Here, it’s hard to meet women outside of work that isn’t on dating apps. And honestly, some Asian American girls prefer white guys over Asian guys, so you’re competing against them too.

The feeling is bad, when I watch everyone around me get engaged or married. I’m worried that if manage to get a relationship, I won’t know what to do. My parents also don't know anyone, so they won't help me find a gf. I feel like I will have to accept that I will be single forever. It’s frustrating, I have a job, look decent, make good money, and still struggle to find a gf because dating is so broken in US tech. I feel like I’m running out of time….

I am based in the US. Yesterday afternoon when I was eating a Chipotle bowl I was talking while a some food was in my throat. I didn’t cough so I thought I was fine. But today this morning I’m feeling a mild pain in my ribs area on the left side. I don’t have a fever or cough as of yet. Could the pain be from aspiration? Do I need to go to the ER?

Im 29 male and for more than a decade now, I’ve never gotten a full 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I always wake up every 2-3 hours. Then as morning comes closer I’ll wake up every hour I’ll go to bed at 12 am, wake up at 3 AM check my phone, then go to sleep again.

This gets worse the closer I get to the morning, where I’ll wake up every hour. So then I’ll wake up at 6 am, then 7 am, go to sleep again, wake up at 8 am. My coworkers and friends I talk to says it’s very weird that I don’t get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I’m not significantly tired during the day. I don’t think I wake up gasping for air so hopefully I don’t have sleep apnea, although it is a worry of mine. I don’t do any drugs or alcohol.

But is this normal to wake up every 2 hours, instead of having 8 hours of continuous sleep? Im at a loss because I already saw a PCP for this and he just shrugged. is this causing me long term harm?

I’m 29 and for more than a decade now, I’ve never gotten a full 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I always wake up every 2-3 hours. Then as morning comes closer I’ll wake up every hour I’ll go to bed at 12 am, wake up at 3 AM check my phone, then go to sleep again, wake up at 5-6 am check my phone, go to sleep again, wake up at 8 am. My coworkers I talk to says it’s weird that I don’t get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I’m not significantly tired during the day. I don’t think I wake up gasping for air so hopefully I don’t have sleep apnea, although it is a worry of mine. I don’t do any drugs or alcohol

But is this normal to wake up every 2-3 hours, instead of having 8 hours of continuous sleep? Or do I need to go to doc? I feel like they would just tell me to take melatonin… is this causing me long term harm?

I live in SLU and my lease expires on August 15. My apartment is managed by Greystar. My current rent is $2450/mo. This is my second year at the apartment. Last year, they increased my annual rent 7% when I renewed. But this year, my apartment hasn't given me any notice of a renewal offer rent hike. My understanding is that they needed to have given me a 180 day notice for any rent increases, which should have meant they should have given me an annual renewal offer againwith a rent hike back in February. But they haven't sent anything via the portal and I haven't heard anything.

I am rereading my current lease and there is a clause that states "At the expiration of your lease term, should you choose not to renew your lease, your current lease will convert to a month-to-month lease at the current market rate plus a $500 month-to-month fee will be applied". Is this legal? I thought that this $500 increase is illegal because

What do I do?

Do I just let it stay put and have them apply the $500 M2M fee and push back when it happens?

Or do I remind them to give me a renewal offer at the, likely 7% annual hike? I'm not sure what I should do

I asked a christian friend, why does he allow us to suffer from diseases like cancer or other horrible illnesses? I say that if god really is good, he wouldn’t have given you the disease in the first place. They say that “god created everything good, we are paying for the fall of man”. That’s ridiculous. Why should we have to “pay” for the decision that some people made thousands of years ago. That’s like saying I should be punished for a decision my great grandfather did. The whole concept is ridiculous to me.

On a related note, I feel tired when people say “by gods grace” when their family member recovers from surgery when it was the doctor who did all the work. If god truly was good he wouldn’t have given them the disease in the first place. But nope, Christians have this weird thinking where it’s our fault that disease exists because of the mistake of two people eons ago.

29 year old asian guy in tech here. Live in the PNW. I have a high net worth for my age, focused on my job in my 20s, and I have a decent career as a software engineer, but an inexperienced relationship wise. Never had a real relationship. I'm pretty introverted myself as well, so it makes things harder for me.

I've been on dating apps, mostly Hinge, and dating in tech as a guy on the west coast is really tough. Been on several first dates and a couple second dates but they never went anywhere. The competition is tough.

But besides that, I'm worried that I don't know "how" to be a BF if I do find a relationship. My longest relationship only 1 year and that was right after I graduated college. I've been single for 7 years now. I don't know how often to go on dates when you're a steady couple, how to communicate issues when you're in a relationship, stuff like that. Everyone my age has at least a couple long term relationships under their belt, so they know what to do.

I'm also worried that because I'm 29 and single, I don't have time to get into a multi-year relationship, break up, and try again if I want kids. I feel like I really only have time to make one relationship count, because I'm running out of time. All my peers are already in relationships, engaged, or married. I'm afraid of screwing the relationship up if I do get in one because I'm already almost 30 and the clock is ticking.

29 year old asian guy in tech here. Live in the PNW. I have a high net worth for my age, focused on my job in my 20s, and I have a decent career as a software engineer, but an inexperienced relationship wise. Never had a real relationship. I'm pretty introverted myself as well, so it makes things harder for me.

I've been on dating apps, mostly Hinge, and dating in tech as a guy on the west coast is really tough. Been on several first dates and a couple second dates but they never went anywhere. The competition is tough.

But besides that, I'm worried that I don't know "how" to be a BF if I do find a relationship. My longest relationship only 1 year and that was right after I graduated college. I've been single for 7 years now. I don't know how often to go on dates when you're a steady couple, how to communicate issues when you're in a relationship, stuff like that. Everyone my age has at least a couple long term relationships under their belt, so they know what to do.

I'm also worried that because I'm 29 and single, I don't have time to get into a multi-year relationship, break up, and try again if I want kids. I feel like I really only have time to make one relationship count, because I'm running out of time. All my peers are already in relationships, engaged, or married. I'm afraid of screwing the relationship up if I do get in one because the clock is ticking.

I'm an Asian American software engineer in my late 20's. Work on the west coast and being on dating apps is honestly tough there as a guy. I've been on a lot of dates and dress well, but competition is fierce on the west coast because there are a tons of tech guys, and I'm honestly very burnt out. I’ve worked hard ever since finishing college, make $200k+ in the US, and I have about $1M saved up right now. But I feel like my life is on autopilot.

I was thinking about the idea of moving to the Philippines in a few years to find a relationship after I've worked more and saved more money, especially since the tech industry isn’t in a good state with all the layoffs. I’d get out of the west coast’s huge cost of living, but would obviously have to give up my job (since it requires 5 day RTO) to move. So I’d have to retire if I wanted to move, and wouldn’t have a regular income source I think.

My questions: Is it a good idea to move to the Philippines to find a relationship?

Is there anyone here who has been in my shoes who has actually moved there? What do you like and regret? And most importantly, what should I be wary of?

One thing I’ve been warned of don’t date a poor Filipina because you’ll end up supporting her and her entire family. People have mentioned to try to find someone who’s more middle class, preferably in metro Manila.

I live in SLU and my apartment is managed by greystar. This is my 2nd year at the apartment. Currently paying $2.5k/mo for my apartment. My lease ends in mid-August and usually greystar sends out a renewal notice in February increasing next year's rent by 7%. At least, that's what they did for me last year when I renewed by lease.

However, they haven't sent a new renewal offer yet, and my understanding is that they needed to do so 180 days (in February) before my lease expires to increase my rent for next year. Otherwise, they can't raise my rent. Is this correct?

What happens if I just let my lease lapse? My current lease said they convert me to a month to month if this happens, but didn't give any specifics on what the month-to-month rate is. Says to negotiate the month-to-month rate with the office. I'd ideally prefer not to move in peak season and would rather move in October.

28M, single, 260K, HCOL. Work in tech. Currently studying for for a new job because tech is on fire with mass layoffs. My base is 14.7k per month, but I max out my 401k, HSA, started contributing 39k after tax to my employer's 401k since 2024. I'm left with only about 37% of my paycheck, $5.5k after tax, and $2.8k goes to my rent+utils. In total from my base paycheck, I can only contribute $1k/mo to my taxable brokerage. I save about 100k/year after tax. My current breakdown:

• in my taxable brokerage
• in
• k in Roth IRA
• k emergency fund

I do like the tax free growth of the mega backdoor but my concern is that it's locked up until I'm 59.5. Which goes against the point of FIRE. I think there is a way to withdraw the principal, but from my understanding, each monthly contribution can only be withdrawn after 5 years. Is Mega Backdoor Roth still recommended for those of us who want to retire early? Taxable brokerage seems much more liquid for us FIRE folks.