u/gandalf458

kicking litter, tin cans, discarded take-away wrappers. Suddenly he kicks against something more solid. He stops. Looking down he sees what looks like an old oil lamp. He stoops, picks it up and looks at it. He rubs it to read what is written on the side.

Whoosh! A genie appears (you guessed that, didn't you!)

The genie says that as the guy has freed him, he gets three wishes.

"I wanna be white, tight and out-of-sight," says the guy.

So the genie turns him into a tampon.

"No, darling, why do you ask?"

"Well, I saw the au pair girl with her legs in the air, calling, 'Oh God, I'm coming.' And I think she would have gone if daddy hadn't been on top of her."

After a few minutes in the waiting room, a doctor opens the surgery door and calls out, "Will the gentleman with gonorrhoea please come in."

Is it just me, or do others have a "favourite" chord? Mine is A7sus4 - I love using it to resolve to D.

It is Christmas Eve.

St Peter says, "Since it's Christmas, you need to show me something Christmassy and you get to pass."

The Englishman fishes around in his pockets and pulls out his car keys. He rattles them a bit and says, "Jingle Bells:"

"Ok you can go in," says St Peter.

The Scotsman brings out a cigarette lighter, flicks it on and says, "A candle."

St Peter lets him pass.

The Irishman pulls from his pocket a pair of women's panties. St Peter looks at him waiting for an explanation.

"They're Carol's," he announces.

I have Resound GN Savi 360 hearing aids. I've not had them long and am still getting used to them. I have downloaded the Smart 3D Android app and can change the settings of my hearing aids from there, but I cannot get audio streaming to work. I am directed to unpair the hearing aids and then pair them again, but when I do that it still says I need to repeat the process. Does anyone have any suggestions?