u/gandalf458

The first digs a hole in the grass verge, and the second one comes along and fills it in.

The first chap walks several yards on and digs another hole, and sure enough his mate comes along and fills it in.

After the 4th hole the guy watching can stand it no longer. He goes up to the workmen and says, "I'm really impressed at how hard you are working. But what are you doing?"

"Ah," says the first man, "we're from the highways department. There's usually 3 of us, but the guy who puts the tree in the hole called in sick this morning."

Is it possible to make slip using DAS clay? I've added a little water to some DAS clay but it doesn't seem to be dissolving the way my old clay did.

"So?" he says.

"So?" she replies.

"So, how about a blowjob?"

"Are you crazy. My parents might see us!"

"Come on, who's going to see us at this hour? I'll return the favour."

"Can you imagine if we got caught? Oh my god, what my father would do to you."

"There's no one around. They're all asleep."

"No way, it's far too risky."

"But I love you so much."

A light comes on and the front door opens. The girl's sister appears in her night clothes. She says, "Dad says to go ahead and give him a blowjob. Or I can do it. Or if needs be he'll do it himself. But for god's sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom."

"My Pete's brought me some flowers again," says Tracy.

"You don't sound very pleased," says Dawn. "I'd be over the moon if my Mike bought me some flowers."

"Yes, but I'll have to have my legs in the air for a fortnight," replies Tracy.

Dawn looks surprised and says, "Don't you have a vase."

kicking litter, tin cans, discarded take-away wrappers. Suddenly he kicks against something more solid. He stops. Looking down he sees what looks like an old oil lamp. He stoops, picks it up and looks at it. He rubs it to read what is written on the side.

Whoosh! A genie appears (you guessed that, didn't you!)

The genie says that as the guy has freed him, he gets three wishes.

"I wanna be white, tight and out-of-sight," says the guy.

So the genie turns him into a tampon.

"No, darling, why do you ask?"

"Well, I saw the au pair girl with her legs in the air, calling, 'Oh God, I'm coming.' And I think she would have gone if daddy hadn't been on top of her."

After a few minutes in the waiting room, a doctor opens the surgery door and calls out, "Will the gentleman with gonorrhoea please come in."

Is it just me, or do others have a "favourite" chord? Mine is A7sus4 - I love using it to resolve to D.