u/generic_ork

I don’t have medications, a doc, insurance, or a support network. If I check into a hospital, all I will be doing is starting this over yet again. I just can’t. I’m 50yo and burnt out. There is nobody to ask for help in my life.

I need to move far away & don’t want any of the stuff I have. I don’t know how to list it for sale or even if it’s worth trying. I have a few things of value, but they only of value to me if at all. A bunch of nickel and dime crafting materials that I really should just throw out or give away. A lot of failed art projects that I don’t want to look at or think about anymore. So many broken things. I have nowhere to go.

I really want to stop thinking about killing myself, but it won’t cease. Being homeless in my car sounds nice, I am unemployable. I only want to sleep forever. Please make this stop.

Come on out, bring your friends and family, a blanket, and some snacks. Please leave the glass & alcohol at home. As much as we love dogs, we are told by the park that they are not welcome.

This is a free for all & family fun event. Thank you for reading and we hope to see you all out there!

I finally understand and accept what is wrong with me. I can’t do much more & don’t know what else there is to do. or what the point would even be. Going to a ward will only help if they keep me sedated forever. If I go in temporarily I will be homeless and lose what little I have, there is no net. I’m not able to function in this world and I no longer have the energy or resources to try and be a part of it. my self torture won’t let me end my suffering, life is pure hell and my only hope is that next time the doctors will fail. I have never been alive, please let this body be a corpse soon. I would never curse this affliction on the most terrible of evil people. I just want it all to stop, I never wanted to be here.

The swings are getting worse, the voices are no longer subtle. it’s been 48 years of little to no treatment that has always failed. drugs have never helped other than put me into the sweet bliss of oblivion. I long to sleep forever. I’ve been fired from every job I’ve had and friendships don’t exist. family abused and cast me aside long ago. I have sabotaged everything I’ve had or come across. I’m afraid that violence might be an answer one of these days and that scares me. If I could, I would wish to have never been born.

That is all. Wish I could be there, hope y'all had a great show tonight!!!

I drank myself into a self induced coma 18 years ago because I was scared to screwup shooting myself. I woke up in a hospital 6 weeks later to find out that I flat lined several times. One incident was for over 3 minutes, another was over 8 minutes. I remember finally being at peace during that time, only to have it ripped from me and brought back to this hell called earth.

I shouldn't have received medical care, but my wallet with my license that had a DNR taped to the back was not with me.

Everyday I wake up I wish I had been pushed aside and not given the medical care like I'd wanted. I'll never forgive the doctors for "saving" my life. I didn't ask for this life and I've never wanted wanted, even as a child. It's been 50 years of pure hell, sober or not.

I know most people come here to find hope. I'm here to try and finally find peace for myself. I feel like I have one last step to take and it's off a cliff. And I'd rather be blind and numb when I hit the floor. Because nothing else has helped the suffering go away.

Please forgive me if I can't do it & please celebrate if I do. Nobody deserves to feel like this.

I don't want any of this anymore. I just want the voices to stop. I was just there trying to jump off a freeway overpass and couldn't because I don't want to traumatize anyone else anymore. I wish I would just die already. It's been 40 years of hell, will the world please be done with me? Please?