u/greenkachina

I researched a lot of therapists in my area and decided on two of them who sounded like good matches for me. I made appointments with both and figured I'd just stay with whoever I connected with better.

Trouble is, now that I've had one session with each, it's going to be really tough to decide. They were both really awesome so I have another appointment with both of them. One of them is a little less expensive, but their office is in the next town over and they can only see me after I get off work. The other one is a little more expensive, but their office is walking distance from my house and they are available on my day off.

It makes me sad to think about having to "drop" one of them when we had such a good connection, but after a second appointment I know I'll have to make a decision. I guess I'm wondering if this is a common occurrence, if a patient connects with you but then opts for a different therapist anyway. One of my issues I'm trying to work on is my crippling fear of disappointing/hurting other people, and I'm facing that fear right now by having to explain to one of them that someone else felt like a better fit.

Any thoughts?

Thanks. Nat.

Early 2025 I finally quit after being high for 12 years straight. And after the initial misery, I really didn't crave weed anymore. I thought I was doing good. I thought eventually, I would feel like a new person - mentally and physically.

Well. It made me realize what weed was really doing for those 12 years.

I used to joke about weed "putting an angel on my shoulder". It made me feel like everything was okay. It made me feel more tolerant, more agreeable, comfortable and easygoing. Things that might have bothered me while sober? Didn't matter when I was high. And I was high all the time. Went to college, dropped out. Got a job in the service industry that I've had for 8 years now. Got married. And for the past year and a half, my brain has exploded with all the doubt, guilt, anger, and sadness I was holding back by using cannabis.

I feel stuck. I'm 33 now and though I'm an intelligent and creative person, I have nothing to show for it. I thought I was happy in my marriage but I was just tolerating it. Now I've spiraled into deep unhappiness and dissatisfaction with every aspect of my life. I thought it was just withdrawals and it would pass. Nope. Every day it gets worse. It's like the floodgates of truth burst open and I'm drowning in years of unaddressed pain and frustration.

Last week I reached a breaking point and smoked a joint. I figured it was just once, just to help me calm down. But I've been smoking every day since. And while in the moment of being high I feel like everything is okay again, I know deep down that it's false...and therefore the high isn't as sweet anymore. I know I need to actively do something to face the years of pent up emotions.

So yesterday I finally called a therapist. Got an appointment in a couple days. It's terrifying, knowing I'll have to face the truth about myself, but I know I need help. I want to equip myself with tools to release my emotions and be honest with myself and the people I love. I want to stop lying to myself, telling myself that my deepest feelings are dumb and don't matter.

I guess this post is half a release for me, and half advice to those of you who, like me, think that simply quitting weed will somehow solve your problems. No...weed is a mask for your problems. And when the mask comes off, the face underneath is still crying. Still alone. If I could go back I would tell myself to find a solid therapist before quitting because long-term sobriety is harder than you think, especially since so many of us were addicted in the first place because we already had emotional/mental struggles we were trying to relieve. But relief is never what actually happens, it's just avoidance. This is my PSA to anyone struggling with addiction - seek help. Don't try to go through this alone because that's just how you'll end up feeling - alone.

I still plan on quitting again. For good. But this time I won't be doing it in the dark.

In the beginning, I was more attracted to him than I had been to anyone else in my whole life - a handsome, physically and mentally strong, independent, hardworking father of two...But years later, after I moved in with him, my passion started to slowly fade.

He asked why I didn't seem attracted to him anymore. I was convinced that it was just hormonal changes that came about after covid. I told him he wasn't doing anything wrong, that I just needed to see a doctor...Well, the doctor didn't help. And recently I finally realized what has been eating away at me for years.

He complains. A LOT. About work, about his health, about the state of the world. We both get home from work, and I ask how his day was - and so begins the monologue on how work sucked, he didn't get enough sleep the night before, his back hurts, his head hurts, etc. It's always something. And I've learned not to complain about my own problems, because he'll just use it as another catalyst to talk about what's ailing him.

In a previous conversation I had mentioned how maybe the honeymoon phase had ended for us. He had never even heard of the term "honeymoon phase". I tried to explain how people change, they get more comfortable being their true selves and lose the sense of courtship that ignited their passion in the first place. He said he didn't think he had lost that, and that he hadn't changed.

Well, he has. And for years I couldn't put it into words, it didn't really make sense to me til now. He has changed from that strong man I dated into a man who's always complaining and needing sympathy. Not only that, but he needs constant validation and praise. When he accomplishes anything, even though I tell him he did a great job and give him a huge kiss, for the next couple weeks he will continue to fish for more praise, saying things like "I really did a great job fixing that, didn't I?" It changed him, in my eyes, from a confident independent man into someone whose self-worth relies on the validation of others.

I will admit, the other side to this coin is that I've always been terrible at communicating my own feelings and needs for fear of upsetting other people. This relationship has been teaching me that bottling everything up just leads to the death of intimacy, resentment and a feeling of distance between us. I know he wants to know what I'm feeling, he wants to know if there's something he could be doing better to help our relationship, but I just have this crippling fear of confrontation. And I fear that he won't understand, even though he wants to. I really need some advice on how to approach this with him, I want to be honest with him about what's bothering me but I don't know where to begin. I don't want to hurt his feelings but I know I'll have to. I want to feel passion for him again.

Any advice is appreciated 🙏

I just started my period yesterday after missing the last one. I have always had terrible cramps. But today was different - I was at work and suddenly doubled over with an intense stabbing pain in my lower abdomen, on the right side. The pain radiated up my side and all the way down into my a$$hole. I literally couldn't stand, I was on the floor on my hands and knees. My boss offered for me to go home but there was no way I was gonna get into my car and drive. I just breathed through it on the floor and finally after about 20 minutes the pain subsided and I was able to get back to work.

This exact type of pain has only happened to me one other time, it was within the past year and it woke me up in the middle of the night. I have not had any sort of physical scans, my doctor diagnosed me with PCOS from my symptoms and blood test results and I've been on progesterone for a month now. I'm new to this, and wondering if this could be cysts on my ovaries? I've been cleaning up my diet and exercising more frequently - is there anything else to be done or is this just something I live with now?

Today I had a man order a matcha 3 minutes before we closed. All good. 10 minutes later he came back and knocked on the door. I opened it and he said he didn't like the matcha. We just looked at each other for a moment, and then he asked "can I just get something else? Like a latte?"

Our new shop owner wants us to make sure everyone leaves with a drink they love (understandable) so I made him a latte. After I handed it to him he offered to pay for it, but I said the register was already closed out. See ya, have a good day.

Yeah, sometimes people come back with their drink and say they don't like it, asking if they can exchange it for something else (for free). This is the first time someone has had the balls to do it after we've closed for the day.

I've been to plenty of coffee shops, and sometimes I order a new drink, taste it, and it's sub-par. Not flavorful enough, espresso is too acidic, etc. But personally I would never go back and ask for something else for free - I would just bite the bullet and remember not to order that drink next time, or get back in line and buy something else without complaining. The only time I've brought my drink back for them to re-make is when they've made an actual mistake.

Curious what everyone's thoughts are on this situation, as I'm sure it happens everywhere. As baristas, what is your shop policy on people simply "not liking" a drink you made exactly how it was supposed to be made? And as customers, would you bring the drink back if you didn't like it?

Not really sure where to turn. I just got "diagnosed" with PCOS by a hormone specialist from just listening to my symptoms and running a few blood tests. She prescribed me progesterone capsules along with some supplements (most of which I already take). She also recommended "optimizing my thyroid" through medication, even though TSH and T4 looked normal.

In a nutshell I've been struggling with extremely painful periods and mood swings since puberty. Around 30, I suddenly went 5 months without a period and after that my cycle has been all over the place. (I'm now 33) I started gaining weight and cannot seem to stop even though I get moderate exercise and eat decently healthy. The mood swings have gotten worse, and even worse starting two weeks before my period. I now have hairs growing on my chin and painful boils that appear on my hips and shoulders, leaving scars. And unfortunately for my marriage, I also lost all trace of libido even though I was a pretty sexual person in my teens/twenties.

The tests I took revealed that as always, my testosterone is slightly elevated. And LH to FSH ratio is 10.5 to 4. Low vitamin D. Everything else looked fine. She didn't recommend any other tests. I'm skeptical about taking medication but feel like I'm out of avenues after seeing other doctors and being told "everything looks good, nothing we can do".

Thanks for reading, and being here. I'm in desperate need of some support, my husband tries but he just doesn't understand the magnitude of any of this. :/ I wanted to ask yall, are these symptoms and lab results relatable to you? Is oral progesterone a viable option? I am prone to hypoglycemia, could that be related to all of this? Are there any questions I should be asking the doctor? Thanks again.

Hey ladies. Been lurking this sub and feeling so thankful to not actually be alone.

A few years ago my cycle went from super regular to all over the place (usually 35-45 days, sometimes up to 3 months between periods). Monthly PMS mood swings have turned into constant depression/rage with no break in between. Gained 50 pounds, bloated and tired all the time, terrible at decision making and remembering things, getting huge painful boils on my shoulders and hips. My libido is zero, after a lifetime of being very sexual...I never even think about sex anymore, except for the constant stress of always working up the willpower to pretend I want/enjoy it for my husband's sake.

My husband is a good man in so many ways, but he doesn't understand how such intense emotions can be driven by seemingly "nothing". He tends to distance himself from me when I'm feeling down, and makes sad little comments about how I "hate" him...and despite my efforts to provide affection and kindness even through my worst lows, he constantly seeks comfort and reassurance from me that I still love him...when in fact I am the one who needs comfort and reassurance so badly. I feel like my marriage is slowly falling apart, along with my sanity and my life. I feel alone.

I saw a hormone specialist yesterday and she said it sounds like perimenopause, PCOS, endometriosis or a combination. Either way she prescribed me oral progesterone which I start next week. I pray it helps, because I already eat healthy foods, exercise moderately, take quality vitamins and drink lots of water.

I have to suppress the worst thoughts - that I'm doomed to feel like this, or worse, forever. I'm just thankful to have a place to vent my feelings, and I really hope the next post I make will be a success story. Thanks for reading this far, I really appreciate any solidarity and support. 🩵