For all of you that are in/have been in a successful and happy LDR, what is your secret?

(EDIT: Thank you for all the comments so far and I do apologize that I can’t get to all of them! Your advice is so helpful and I plan to follow it!)

I want to succeed in relationships & allow them to last a long time. What are some tips on how to have a happy & healthy relationship?

If it says anything about my taste, my favorite shows are Outer Banks, Resident Alien & High Potential! I love police/romantic comedy shows that aren’t too raunchy. Thank you so much!

(EDIT: Thank you all for the comments! I’m sorry I can’t keep up with responding to all of them. You all have great suggestions! <3)

(TW: Very brief mention of assault.)

Beforehand, here is some background information to help everything make sense for you, the reader. Thank you very much for taking the time to hopefully respond. 2 years ago, when I was 13 years I joined a game called Xanje in a desperate attempt to make friends, as I was homeschooled at the time. I met a boy named Jacob (my ex) and we hit it off immediately. We started calling and texting all the time & spending almost every moment together, when we could, that is. Now at the time and still my parents are heavily against any online interactions based on the fact I have been catfished and SAed in the past. Obviously I’m a teenage girl, the last thing I’m going do is listen to my parents. Though this is almost completely based on the fact that me and my father have a very strained and unhealthy relationship. He’s quite shifty and mercurial. We fight like cats and dogs because he has it in his head that because of my age & gender I should not have opinions or a voice. I am very blatantly honest & most definitely loud when it comes to expressing my opinions. He hates that. I do not fear him, at least nowadays I do not. Back then I did everything to obey and please him. I was terrified of him, which is no longer the case. A few months later from when me and Jacob met, we started dating. A while later my dad caught me making a late night phone call to him and blackmailed me, saying: “You either stop talking to that boy or your entire family will know you’re talking to him. He’s a catfisher and you know it. Do you want them to know that? How could you lie to me about this.” I dont know. Maybe because I can’t tell him anything without him getting irately angry?? He should’ve believed my instincts. I had seen Jacob a multitude of times. I’d even seen him on his local news winning a football game. We were closer than anyone I had ever known, I mean, we were basically the same person. We both loved music, the ocean, sports, our religion, and not to mention we simply just got along very well. We went through a lot of hard times together and were there for each other undyingly. I’ve never cared about somebody outside of my family that much in my entire life. After my dad caught me, me and Jacob broke up. Though, I couldn’t stay away from him and we got into a very unhealthy cycle of leaving and coming back until eventually we completely stopped speaking.

Fast forward to two days ago, almost 10 months from when we stopped speaking, I messaged him and poured my heart out. I told him everything & apologized sincerely more times than I could count in one message. I told him I felt incredibly awful and guilty & that I’d understand if he hates me but I’d like to try our friendship again. He told me that he could never hate me and hell would have to freeze over before he’d not want to talk to me. He said he refused to ever be in a long distance relationship with anybody, or me, again, and he said he was unsure of his feelings for me anymore. Though, he said when we see each other in person 2 years from now, he would be willing to try again, if it’s in God’s will. I agreed with him. My love for this boy is so strong that I am willing to spend years regaining his trust and waiting for him to be ready to try again, because I believe we may be meant to be. He is the first man in my life to treat me what I view as right, with kindness, respect, and unconditional love and affection. He is everything I could ever want and everything I’ve ever dreamed of. I’m a country girl and I’ve grown up with southern values. I’ve been taught that no matter what I need to pursue my dreams, and what I love. I believe Jacob is who I need to pursue.

My question is, based on my situation and what you all have learned about the both of us from this essay, what is the right decision? Please be honest with me. Thank you to anybody and everybody who responds. This means a lot. :)

(TW: Very brief mention of assault.)

Beforehand, here is some background information to help everything make sense for you, the reader. Thank you very much for taking the time to hopefully respond. 2 years ago, when I was 13 years I joined a game called Xanje in a desperate attempt to make friends, as I was homeschooled at the time. I met a boy named Jacob (my ex) and we hit it off immediately. We started calling and texting all the time & spending almost every moment together, when we could, that is. Now at the time and still my parents are heavily against any online interactions based on the fact I have been catfished and SAed in the past. Obviously I’m a teenage girl, the last thing I’m going do is listen to my parents. Though this is almost completely based on the fact that me and my father have a very strained and unhealthy relationship. He’s quite shifty and mercurial. We fight like cats and dogs because he has it in his head that because of my age & gender I should not have opinions or a voice. I am very blatantly honest & most definitely loud when it comes to expressing my opinions. He hates that. I do not fear him, at least nowadays I do not. Back then I did everything to obey and please him. I was terrified of him, which is no longer the case. A few months later from when me and Jacob met, we started dating. A while later my dad caught me making a late night phone call to him and blackmailed me, saying: “You either stop talking to that boy or your entire family will know you’re talking to him. He’s a catfisher and you know it. Do you want them to know that? How could you lie to me about this.” I dont know. Maybe because I can’t tell him anything without him getting irately angry?? He should’ve believed my instincts. I had seen Jacob a multitude of times. I’d even seen him on his local news winning a football game. We were closer than anyone I had ever known, I mean, we were basically the same person. We both loved music, the ocean, sports, our religion, and not to mention we simply just got along very well. We went through a lot of hard times together and were there for each other undyingly. I’ve never cared about somebody outside of my family that much in my entire life. After my dad caught me, me and Jacob broke up. Though, I couldn’t stay away from him and we got into a very unhealthy cycle of leaving and coming back until eventually we completely stopped speaking.

Fast forward to two days ago, almost 10 months from when we stopped speaking, I messaged him and poured my heart out. I told him everything & apologized sincerely more times than I could count in one message. I told him I felt incredibly awful and guilty & that I’d understand if he hates me but I’d like to try our friendship again. He told me that he could never hate me and hell would have to freeze over before he’d not want to talk to me. He said he refused to ever be in a long distance relationship with anybody, or me, again, and he said he was unsure of his feelings for me anymore. Though, he said when we see each other in person 2 years from now, he would be willing to try again, if it’s in God’s will. I agreed with him. My love for this boy is so strong that I am willing to spend years regaining his trust and waiting for him to be ready to try again, because I believe we may be meant to be. He is the first man in my life to treat me what I view as right, with kindness, respect, and unconditional love and affection. He is everything I could ever want and everything I’ve ever dreamed of. I’m a country girl and I’ve grown up with southern values. I’ve been taught that no matter what I need to pursue my dreams, and what I love. I believe Jacob is who I need to pursue.

My question is, based on my situation and what you all have learned about the both of us from this essay, what is the right decision? Please be honest with me. Thank you to anybody and everybody who responds. This means a lot. :)

(TW: brief mention of assault.)

Beforehand, here is some background information to help everything make sense for you, the reader. Thank you very much for taking the time to hopefully respond. 2 years ago, when I was 13 years I joined a game called Xanje in a desperate attempt to make friends, as I was homeschooled at the time. I met a boy named Jacob (my ex) and we hit it off immediately. We started calling and texting all the time & spending almost every moment together, when we could, that is. Now at the time and still my parents are heavily against any online interactions based on the fact I have been catfished and SAed in the past. Obviously I’m a teenage girl, the last thing I’m going do is listen to my parents. Though this is almost completely based on the fact that me and my father have a very strained and unhealthy relationship. He’s quite shifty and mercurial. We fight like cats and dogs because he has it in his head that because of my age & gender I should not have opinions or a voice. I am very blatantly honest & most definitely loud when it comes to expressing my opinions. He hates that. I do not fear him, at least nowadays I do not. Back then I did everything to obey and please him. I was terrified of him, which is no longer the case. A few months later from when me and Jacob met, we started dating. A while later my dad caught me making a late night phone call to him and blackmailed me, saying: “You either stop talking to that boy or your entire family will know you’re talking to him. He’s a catfisher and you know it. Do you want them to know that? How could you lie to me about this.” I dont know. Maybe because I can’t tell him anything without him getting irately angry?? He should’ve believed my instincts. I had seen Jacob a multitude of times. I’d even seen him on his local news winning a football game. We were closer than anyone I had ever known, I mean, we were basically the same person. We both loved music, the ocean, sports, our religion, and not to mention we simply just got along very well. We went through a lot of hard times together and were there for each other undyingly. I’ve never cared about somebody outside of my family that much in my entire life. After my dad caught me, me and Jacob broke up. Though, I couldn’t stay away from him and we got into a very unhealthy cycle of leaving and coming back until eventually we completely stopped speaking.

Fast forward to two days ago, almost 10 months from when we stopped speaking, I messaged him and poured my heart out. I told him everything & apologized sincerely more times than I could count in one message. I told him I felt incredibly awful and guilty & that I’d understand if he hates me but I’d like to try our friendship again. He told me that he could never hate me and hell would have to freeze over before he’d not want to talk to me. He said he refused to ever be in a long distance relationship with anybody, or me, again, and he said he was unsure of his feelings for me anymore. Though, he said when we see each other in person 2 years from now, he would be willing to try again, if it’s in God’s will. I agreed with him. My love for this boy is so strong that I am willing to spend years regaining his trust and waiting for him to be ready to try again, because I believe we may be meant to be. He is the first man in my life to treat me what I view as right, with kindness, respect, and unconditional love and affection. He is everything I could ever want and everything I’ve ever dreamed of. I’m a country girl and I’ve grown up with southern values. I’ve been taught that no matter what I need to pursue my dreams, and what I love. I believe Jacob is who I need to pursue.

My question is, based on my situation and what you all have learned about the both of us from this essay, what is the right decision? Please be honest with me. Thank you to anybody and everybody who responds. This means a lot. :)