u/hereforhelpthx95

Hey all, my husband and I are lactose intolerant. We have kids and buy silk soy milk and eat lots of tofu so we are all getting some calcium, but it would be good to be getting more, in particular our kids.

I know I can buy dairy products for them, but honestly I hate the dairy industry and it depresses me so I find it works out nicely for us to just not do dairy at all.

Anyway. I am looking for a cheese and a yogurt that are not disgusting and have a good amount of calcium in them. Is this a thing? I love the convenience of a string cheese or yogurt with granola.

Something easy to watch where a missed line here or there won’t make a huge difference.

Shows i consider causal viewing that i like: love is blind, survivor, traitors, new girl, modern family, bobs burgers, below deck, schitts creek, virgin river, love island, 911, the great north… I’m sure I’m missing plenty.

I like documentaries and more intense tv too just not what i need right now.

Preferably something with more than 2 seasons

Thanks!

Hi all,
I have a 3yo and a friend of mine has an almost 3yo. The kids have been friends since they were babies. The mom and I have become good friends over the past couple years.

Her almost 3yo has always been a “bad listener” and would run away in public, throw tantrums, and now is pushing and throwing things. The last few times we have hung out he has thrown wood chips or sand at my daughter, or he has pushed her or other kids off of benches/couches. He doesn’t listen and doesn’t care.

I’m very aware that this is not on him and is 100% because of the parenting. His mom will say “oh honey no pushing” “gentle hands sweetie” or tell him she will remove him from sandbox if he doesn’t stop, but then never follows through. I have never seen her do a timeout or genuine consequence although she says she does at home. Idk.

The other day he kept throwing dirt at my daughter. She was begging him to stop “no, stop, I don’t like that… please stop” and then she finally got up and moved away. He followed and kept doing it. His mom watched the whole thing and only once said “she said no honey”. My kid started crying “please please I said stop” and he wouldn’t. I finally went over and took him by the shoulders (gently) and said “hey. No means no. She asked you to stop. I won’t let her play with you if you don’t listen.” He did not care AT ALL.

My daughter just told me “he’s my friend who is sometimes mean and likes to hit” :( which is obviously not ok.

Looking for some advice as to what to do. I love my friend but her extremely lax parenting is imo creating an entitled little boy that my daughter will soon not want to play with anymore.

My friend has told me she is ok with the way I have stepped in and told off her son, but she doesn’t change the way she parents. Do I just tell her the truth when my kid stops wanting to see her son?? I’m sad to lose our friendship bc we are friends and so are our husbands, but I don’t want my kid to think this behavior is normal or ok.

Meh. Thoughts?

Hi all,
3 year old daughter has been potty trained for almost a year, however - she isn’t really.

She will hold her pee for HOURS and HOURS and then pee herself.

I have tried the method where you remind and ask if they need to go. She will always say no - she will say she doesn’t need to and then 2 minutes later pee herself. I can’t tell if she knows she needs to go but doesn’t want to, or genuinely just doesn’t recognize the feeling.

Essentially what we have now been doing for months is I require that she sits on the toilet when we are going to leave the house, and before nap and bedtime. Because this means a few times a day I’m requiring her to pee, she rarely has accidents.

I really just don’t know what to do. She is extremely capable and self aware in every other way - able with her body, full vocabulary, emotionally intelligent etc etc.

Does anyone have any idea what I can do to get her to recognize she needs to pee? I’m fine with reminding her, but the reminders are not currently enough for her to recognize the need. She will say “I don’t need to go” and then immediately pee herself so it’s obvious she needed to. She almost exclusively pees when I force/require her to sit on the toilet.
Every once in a while she will realize it and go to the toilet unprompted but it’s extremely rare.

Hi all,
My daughter just started at preschool. She is 3. We toured the school a few months ago and thought it seemed great. It costs $1400 a month for full time. Supposed to have a lead teacher, secondary teacher, assistant teacher. They have a cook and all meals are included (you’re not allowed to pack lunch) and we were told they were healthy and balanced and they encourage eating veggies and stuff.

So fast forward to now - kid just started but the summer is considered “camp session” and not “school year session” which is different and we did not understand that. The kids will mostly stay the same and go into the September school session. The lead teacher does seem to always be there, but there are other random camp staff that change every day so care is not consistent. At pickup the staff member did not know my kid’s name (ok it’s only been a couple days but still) and she couldn’t tell me a single thing about how my kid’s day was. She was also just super frazzled in general which isn’t a good feeling to get from the person taking care of your kid.

Nobody has ever asked me anything about my kid - like if she wears diapers or if she needs help using the toilet. My kid has told me she did not pee at all for 4 hours of being there (I’ve been doing pickup early for the start of the session) and nobody required her to try to use the toilet. Do I need to pull a teacher and let her know my 3 year old can’t wipe herself??? I don’t feel like I should need to specify that… she’s 3. What if she were staying for nap? Would they not have her pee before? Not ask if she needs a diaper for sleep? Seems weird.

The food is just processed stuff. Yesterday chicken nuggets as the main, today a corn dog. They offer something with it like carrots or a fruit cup. Not sure why they need a cook for that… they also told us they have morning snack, but from 8:30-12:00 (when they do lunch) they did not offer any food. Seems like a long time for 3 year olds to go without anything. The afternoon snack listed for tomorrow is just dry Cheerios. So that means from 12:00 to 5:00 they only get dry cereal???

At this point I am blaming the issues I have on the fact that it’s “camp” and not “school year” but still, I feel confused. At least the issue with the constant different staff is due to it being camp, so I’m setting that aside.

Is this what I should expect for $1400 a month? I know my standards are very high and I’m aware I can’t expect the same standard of care as a $2000+ school. Just wondering how other people would feel and get a feeling for if I’m being too picky.

At this point I’m setting aside anything to do with how they really teach and set boundaries and handle conflict and stuff and just hoping they are true to their word. My kid has had no complaints and had a blast (yay) but bc some of the stuff isn’t the way they claimed it would be, it makes me question everything else.

Edit to add - potty trained is not required. My kid is potty trained but would need help to wipe #2. Many kids are 2.5 going on 3 by September and still in diapers. So I think they should have at least asked me about bathroom stuff

My friend and I both have 3yo kids.
When I wipe my kid after a poo, I always wash my hands.

My friend never washes her hands after wiping her kid’s poo.

I find this really gross. Washing hands after wiping pee is up for debate, but after poo?

Now I’m wondering if that means she doesn’t wash her hands after she wipes herself :/

Is this normal? I let my kid get super dirty playing in the mud and I’m not intense about handwashing in general but this just makes me so icked out. Then she picks up food and hands it to my kid and I wanna gag!

Thoughts?

Also, is there any way to say something without sounding horribly judgmental?

Edit to add - not diaper changes with wipes, kid on toilet and using toilet paper (not that it makes a real difference imo)

Hi all, not sure if this is a good place to ask this but I figured I’d see if anyone had thoughts about this.

My partner works for a company where HR told him he should use his vacation days instead of our state’s paid paternity leave because he would “get paid in full that way”. We think this is bs and they just don’t want him gone for the 12 weeks where our state pays partially salary and then still be able to have vacation days to leave again later on in the year. He also has sick days unused.

He has been told if he takes his job seriously and wants to move up/prove his dedication to the company, he won’t take the 12 weeks pto and will just use up some vacation days.

Every time he has taken vacation/days off, they have tried to discourage him from doing so.

Anyway I’m just wondering is this as shady as we think it is?? And can they actually fire him for using pto? Is there anything he can do?

Edit to add - his state paid pto is almost his entire salary but hr told him it would only be a small fraction of the salary. Made it seem not worth taking but after a google search that seems to not be true

Hi all,
Wondering if anyone has a Jewish community they really love or a city they feel is safe to be Jewish and a Zionist?

Husband and wife in our 30s, 2 young kids, have historically been left leaning politically but lately feel abandoned by the party and people in our neighborhood (extremely left leaning pnw city). Only stating this to clarify that in a perfect world we live somewhere with bluer politics but not see “stop the genocide” posters on every shop. Hope that makes sense. Maybe somewhere with a true political mix would be best???

Looking for a solid Jewish community - it doesn’t have to be huge but at least zionist. Our synagogue now has an antizionist director and rabbi. Because of this we don’t feel comfortable there (we have family in Israel). I just want a likeminded Jewish community for us and our kids.

Want my kids to grow up around other Jews. Want my Israeli flag up in my yard and to not get harassed. Is that really asking too much???

Hopefully someone out there loves where they live and is ready to welcome new people!!

Hey all,
My partner has never been a gift giver. It’s not his love language. He has not bought me a present in about a decade - but he has brought me flowers or made me homemade cards for almost every birthday. He shows his love in other ways and it’s never really bothered me. If I wanted something I would just buy it - we share finances and always have.

We now have 2 kids and I feel like gift giving is a great way to teach children how to consider what others need/want, put yourself in someone else’s shoes etc etc. I also don’t want my kids to always see me give them and their dad gifts on holidays, but nobody ever gives me anything. They are too little to be expected to do this on their own.

I’ll add that he does have my kids make me cards and give me flowers, and organized a party and stuff. This isn’t about showing love at all, it’s specifically about the gift giving. I personally enjoy giving gifts which is why I am looking for some perspective.

Just wondering if anyone has opinions or thoughts about this. Do you think both parents need to get a gift for the other with the kids involved? How do you manage it in your house?

3 year old is going to sleep without us in the room now (yay!) but she lays in her bed for an hour before falling asleep. I can see her on the monitor and she is not messing around - occasionally reached for a stuffed animal or something but for the most part is actively trying to sleep.

I know most adults are supposed to take 20 minutes or less to fall asleep. I personally take at least 30 and if I have anxiety about something it can take me hours. My mother is the same… So maybe it’s just her genetics.

Just wondering how long other people’s kids are taking to go down (not including avoiding going to bed) ??? What is normal?

Just to add - the reason we finally taught her to go to sleep without us in the room was bc we couldn’t sit with her for an hour or more in there every evening. So it isn’t about being alone.

Hey all,
Looking for a small guitar for less than $250. I want one I can take when my family goes camping - so smaller to fit in the car. I don’t want a normal size I have to take apart and put together. I’m not worried about sound quality as it’s just to have fun playing for my kids around the campfire. I rarely do any complex stuff and mainly want something for simple strumming.

At home I have a big baby Taylor that I love but want something that can get a little banged up by the kids/being set down in a camping chair etc etc.

Is a 3/4 or 1/2 size the right idea? I see Yamaha makes the small folk guitar, would that work? I’ll go into a store to try to play some but just curious if anyone has a recommendation.

Thanks!

Hi all,
I’m not sure if this is the right place for advice like this but I’m hopeful.

I have a 3yo and it always takes her 1-1.5 hours of laying in her bed before she falls asleep.

She has a weighted blanket, scientifically engineered sleep music, cold temp from AC, and blackout curtains so it’s dark. It’s the perfect sleep environment. For most of the time in bed she is trying to sleep but for the sake of this post I’ll say ~45 minutes she is actively trying to rest like not playing with the blanket or chatting to herself. She gets plenty of exercise and time outside during the day. She takes magnesium an hour before bedtime.

This is not about bedtime or nap or anything - we have adjusted all of that and no matter how early she gets in bed she falls asleep around 8:30. She will fall asleep later if she gets into bed later. She gets around 10-11 hours of nighttime sleep and takes a one hour nap (I have to force wake her from it but if she sleeps longer it pushes bedtime even later).

I (mom) have always struggled to go to sleep and still now will lay in bed for around 45 minutes (sometimes hours if I have anything to be anxious about) before I fall asleep. My mother is the same. So I think it’s genetic.

Anyway, my question is - does anyone have any advice for how to help her fall asleep quicker so she doesn’t keep this as a habit like me and her grandma did??? My husband can pass out in 2 minutes and I’m so jealous.

I feel like I’m doing everything right but it might just be who she is.

Hey all, I’m 25 weeks with my second pregnancy. First pregnancy I was in very good shape/worked out throughout pregnancy, and only noticed a tiny bit of “coning” at the very end. With this pregnancy I went into it without great muscle strength and haven’t been working out much. My stomach is coning even just from sitting up to get out of a lounged position in a chair.

Anyway I’m just wondering if anyone else has had bad coming early on but didn’t have issues postpartum? I’m kinda freaking out after reading an article about terrible diastis recti. I know there isn’t much to do about it other than log rolling out of bed and not using my middle core a ton.

Just need some insight and comfort??? I’m I screwed since I’m so early in pregnancy to be having this issue? Worrying that it won’t go back together easily!

Hey all, my newly 3yo can hold her pee for HOURS but will refuse to go and then suddenly pee her pants. I usually just require her to go - before we leave the house, before nap etc etc which means she’s being required to pee every couple hours. Any time I don’t require it but I just remind her - like saying “do you need to pee?” She will say no even if she needs to go.

Idk how to really potty train her if I’m always forcing her to go??? Will she just grow out of it?

When was your kid fully potty trained without reminders/required sitting on potty, and any advice on how to get her to WANT to go pee before it’s too late? She wears underwear all day even at nap time. Only a diaper overnight.

Hi all, just what the title says. If you are a SAHM how much do you expect your husband to do at home? I have a 3 year old and am pregnant with our second. My husband works 7-5 every week day. He mows the lawn and he takes out the trash when I ask him to. I do all the cleaning, laundry and cooking. I am not a good house keeper and our home is often a mess. I want my husband to be a bit better about putting his dishes into the sink or putting his laundry in the hamper - at a minimum. He’s an excellent father and partner and this is my only real complaint. He knows it and we have spoken about it many times. He often tries to get into the habit of cleaning more but it falls through.

Anyway, just curious what other non workplace moms with working husbands are doing/expecting?

First kid will be 3.5 when baby arrives.

Literally anything that really made a difference - like a car seat that clicks into a stroller or a specific carrier or a baby swing out of older kid’s reach, something special you got your older kid to help them with the transition… etc etc…

I know the change will be hard to some extent, so just looking for anything that makes it easier.

Hey all, I’m pregnant with my second and need a good carrier. I used the solly wrap for the first couple months and husband used a now outdated/no longer available ergo carrier. I never found the ergo carrier super comfortable - I’m 5 feet tall and husband is over 6 foot.

Parameters:

Needs to be usable from just a few weeks old until 25ish pounds. We stopped wearing our daughter when she was 18 months and about that weight. I don’t want to have to wait until baby is 3/4 months old before I can use the carrier. I love the wrap but really want a carrier that is easy to throw on in the parking lot at school pick up or the park.

Needs to have an X back option. I just find that H buckle back is always uncomfortable on me bc I’m so short - if you have one you like and you’re short with narrow shoulders I’m open to hearing about it!

No need for outward facing and honestly I don’t even need to back carry, but it’s a nice plus.

I was looking at the Lark but I’m just worried the panel will be too tall. My first kid was very long and by 2 months probably would have fit but idk how tall this one will be! Arial looks ok but a bit bulky?

Should I just wait and see how long my baby ends up and then order a lark if she will likely fit early on??

There isn’t a carrier trial meet up anywhere near me. I don’t want to buy something like the ergo embrace just to stop using it after 3 months and then need another carrier lol. Or maybe that’s what I should do??? I’m so lost hahaha HELP

Edit to add - I think an apron fit would be better than the waterfall fit bc I’m so short??

Hi all,
For the past week I have been having on and off aching pain through my belly and a bit into my back. I have also had a lot of nausea. This is my second pregnancy and with my first I never had any pain until the very end with some lightening crotch. Today my pain is mainly on the right side of my belly and lower back and it is constant. I have always had low blood pressure at my appointments and my baby is still kicking me constantly so I don’t feel particularly worried. Just wondering if anyone has dealt with this and if so how long did it last/did you figure out what helps? Is it just round ligament pain? I can’t handle it if I’m going to feel like this every day for the next 4 months…

I will ask my ob at my appointment next week of course - but just figured sometimes it’s nice to hear from other people who have had similar experiences

Hi all,
My family has wanted to experience Hawaii for many years. We have a 3 year old and a baby with us. We all love the beach and the water but we know to respect the ocean and not turn your back. We are very experienced travelers. We don’t plan on staying in a resort, more likely a smaller hotel, in a perfect world with a kitchenette.

I’m looking for mid January at Kaanapali and Poipu as the main beaches where we would get a place for a week. We definitely prefer a more laidback, less touristy area, but in the end the most important for us is that we can really enjoy the beach for most of the day. Will it be warm enough at 10am to be on the beach? Is there any way to predict this? I know the temp is likely to be around 75-80 but does that mean it will be more like 70 for most of the day? 70 probably isn’t warm enough for my 3 year old to be in and out of the water… right? Is Kaanapali more likely to have consistently warm temps? Or Poipu more likely to have calmer water so our kid isn’t getting smashed by waves constantly?

I really don’t want to book an expensive trip to Hawaii to experience it for the first time and end up spending the time wishing it were warmer. We are on the west coast of the US, so Hawaii is the easiest beach vacation to get to, and we have been wanting to go for a long time. We like hiking and exploring but our main interest is relaxing on the beach with our little kids.

Would a protected lagoon in Oahu be better???? I’m lost lol

Just looking for advice, reassurance etc etc. thanks!

Hey all,
I’m wondering where everyone is saving/storing their photos and videos? My parents had printed photo albums and cassette tape videos that I later put on usb drives. Right now I have 3 years of photos and videos of my kids on my computer and a flash drive. I just ran out of iCloud space and honestly I don’t want to have to pay for more space every year or two.

Anyway I’m having so much anxiety about losing the flash drive or my computer suddenly breaking and losing the pics etc etc.

What are other people doing? I know the anxiety isn’t rational lol but I can’t help it!

We do have some printed photo books so I’m mainly worrying about videos.

(I LOVE my family’s home videos from when I was a kid)