u/hiiiammiya382

Whenever I get really close to someone like 'best friend' kind of close or sometimes not even that close just a 'close friend' kind of close, I start shutting them out and they start looking annoying and it's not their fault but i just push them away like not sharing much or just ignoring them or spending less time with them deliberately. Some people say it's because "I'm scared they might leave first" or something like that but it's not the case.

But I still want to have a strong connection to someone, have someone I can tell everything to , someone I have told everything to and someone who understands me.

What do I do? I feel so lonely, it feels like their is a invisible wall between me and everyone else.

Whenever I get really close to someone like 'best friend' kind of close or sometimes not even that close just a 'close friend' kind of close, I start shutting them out and they start looking annoying and it's not their fault but i just push them away like not sharing much or just ignoring them or spending less time with them deliberately. Some people say it's because "I'm scared they might leave first" or something like that but it's not the case.

So, like this I cutted off two of my best friends but we had a lot of mutual friends so we eventually became kind of 'friends'. A few days ago i finally confessed this to them and one other friend. Since then one of my ex best friends is mad, and I know she's valid and she's the victim in this situation and I've apologized. But i don't know what to do.

I just want to know, how do I fix this!?!? How do I fix me?

Whenever I get really close to someone like 'best friend' kind of close or sometimes not even that close just a 'close friend' kind of close, I start shutting them out and they start looking annoying and it's not their fault but i just push them away like not sharing much or just ignoring them or spending less time with them deliberately. Some people say it's because "I'm scared they might leave first" or something like that but it's not the case.

What is this!?!?

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I feel so isolated from the world.

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Everyone feels like a npc and based on what I have learnt growing up i categorise/title them into 'parents' , 'siblings' , 'friends' , 'partner' and the list goes on. I've heard that you feel differently towards everyone based on their 'title'.

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Everyone has a different role and I'm supposed to act and think differently with and towards everyone. It's not like i don't care about them but , you can say I care about a 'friend' as much as a 'classmate' only difference being i know the friend better so they are safer to be with. Other than that there is no other feelings towards them.

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I don't see any difference towards anyone I just know that there is a manual about who is who and how am I supposed to act with them.

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I sometimes force myself to think a certain way hoping it would be how it 'should be'.

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And.

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I feel alone no matter where with who , nothing. I've always felt as if I'm alone no matter I'm with my parents, siblings, cousins, friends, etc. It's the same it's not like they are making me feel like that.

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Whenever I'm with a group it feels like I'm an odd one out even when they include me.

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It feels like I am alone always has been always will.

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Maybe it's because of how i internally perceive them. But it feels like I'm so lonely and isolated, probably because of how i Think of them, it's not as if i feel heartless towards them or coldly. I care about them as much as I can. It's like I care 15% about each of them. Since I've met them till the present. No matter who it is friends, siblings, parents, etc. I may feel strongly about some more than the other, but it's just negligible.

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In conclusion, everyone feels so different and an npc and so I feel isolated no matter how much someone includes me. I don't want to feel this way. But I feel like a rabbit surrounded by eagles.

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And I'm so scared to tell this to anyone, I'm scared they might hate me for thinking this way. But I can't control it.

I feel so isolated from the world.

​

Everyone feels like a npc and based on what I have learnt growing up i categorise/title them into 'parents' , 'siblings' , 'friends' , 'partner' and the list goes on. I've heard that you feel differently towards everyone based on their 'title'.

​

​

Everyone has a different role and I'm supposed to act and think differently with and towards everyone. It's not like i don't care about them but , you can say I care about a 'friend' as much as a 'classmate' only difference being i know the friend better so they are safer to be with. Other than that there is no other feelings towards them.

​

​

I don't see any difference towards anyone I just know that there is a manual about who is who and how am I supposed to act with them.

​

​

I sometimes force myself to think a certain way hoping it would be how it 'should be'.

​

​

​

And.

​

​

I feel alone no matter where with who , nothing. I've always felt as if I'm alone no matter I'm with my parents, siblings, cousins, friends, etc. It's the same it's not like they are making me feel like that.

​

​

Whenever I'm with a group it feels like I'm an odd one out even when they include me.

​

It feels like I am alone always has been always will.

​

​

Maybe it's because of how i internally perceive them. But it feels like I'm so lonely and isolated, probably because of how i Think of them, it's not as if i feel heartless towards them or coldly. I care about them as much as I can. It's like I care 15% about each of them. Since I've met them till the present. No matter who it is friends, siblings, parents, etc. I may feel strongly about some more than the other, but it's just negligible.

​

​

In conclusion, everyone feels so different and an npc and so I feel isolated no matter how much someone includes me. I don't want to feel this way. But I feel like a rabbit surrounded by eagles.

​

​

And I'm so scared to tell this to anyone, I'm scared they might hate me for thinking this way. But I can't control it.

I feel so isolated from the world.

​

​

I will try to explain everything as best as I can.

​

Everyone is a npc and based on what I have learnt growing up i categorise/title them into 'parents' , 'siblings' , 'friends' , 'partner' and the list goes on. I've heard that you feel differently towards everyone based on their 'title'.

​

​

Everyone has a different role and I'm supposed to act and think differently with and towards everyone. It's not like i don't care about them but , you can say I care about a 'friend' as much as a 'classmate' only difference being i know the friend better so they are safer to be with. Other than that there is no other feelings towards them.

​

​

I don't see any difference towards anyone I just know that there is a manual about who is who and how am I supposed to act with them.

​

​

I sometimes force myself to think a certain way hoping it would be how it 'should be'.

​

​

​

And.

​

​

I feel alone no matter where with who , nothing. I've always felt as if I'm alone no matter I'm with my parents, siblings, cousins, friends, etc. It's the same it's not like they are making me feel like that.

​

Whenever I'm with a group it feels like I'm an odd one out even when they include me.

​

​

It feels like I am alone always has been always will.

​

​

Maybe it's because of how i internally perceive them. But it feels like I'm so lonely and isolated, probably because of how i Think of them, it's not as if i feel heartless towards them or coldly. I care about them as much as I can. It's like I care 15% about each of them. Since I've met them till the present. No matter who it is friends, siblings, parents, etc. I may feel strongly about some more than the other, but it's just negligible.

​

In conclusion, everyone feels so different and an npc and so I feel isolated no matter how much someone includes me. I don't want to feel this way. But I feel like a rabbit surrounded by eagles.

I feel so isolated from the world.

​

I will try to explain everything as best as I can.

​

Everyone is a npc and based on what I have learnt growing up i categorise/title them into 'parents' , 'siblings' , 'friends' , 'partner' and the list goes on. I've heard that you feel differently towards everyone based on their 'title'.

​

​

Everyone has a different role and I'm supposed to act and think differently with and towards everyone. It's not like i don't care about them but , you can say I care about a 'friend' as much as a 'classmate' only difference being i know the friend better so they are safer to be with. Other than that there is no other feelings towards them.

​

I don't see any difference towards anyone I just know that there is a manual about who is who and how am I supposed to act with them.

​

I sometimes force myself to think a certain way hoping it would be how it 'should be'.

​

And.

​

I feel alone no matter where with who , nothing. I've always felt as if I'm alone no matter I'm with my parents, siblings, cousins, friends, etc. It's the same it's not like they are making me feel like that.

​

Whenever I'm with a group it feels like I'm an odd one out even when they include me.

​

It feels like I am alone always has been always will.

​

Maybe it's because of how i internally perceive them. But it feels like I'm so lonely and isolated, probably because of how i Think of them, it's not as if i feel heartless towards them or coldly. I care about them as much as I can. It's like I care 15% about each of them. Since I've met them till the present. No matter who it is friends, siblings, parents, etc. I may feel strongly about some more than the other, but it's just negligible.

​

​

In conclusion, everyone feels so different and an npc and so I feel isolated no matter how much someone includes me. I don't want to feel this way. But I feel like a rabbit surrounded by eagles.

​

​

​

​

Everyone is a npc and based on what I have learnt growing up i catogerise/title them into 'parents' , 'siblings' , 'friends' , 'partner' and the list goes on. I've heard that you feel differently towards everyone based on their 'title'.

​

​

​

Everyone has a different role and I'm supposed to act and think differently with and towards everyone. It's not like i don't care about them but , you can say I care about a 'friend' as much as a 'classmate' only difference being i know the friend better so they are safer to be with. Other than that there is no other feelings towards them.

​

​

​

I don't see any difference towards anyone I just know that there is a manual about who is who and how am I supposed to act with them.

​

​

I don't feel anything even when I broke my friendship with my best friend of years. It felt like another Tuesday. I sometimes force myself to think a certain way hoping it would be how it 'should be'. Even if I didn't really feel anything when breaking it I was forcing myself to feel the way a person is supposed to in the situation.

​

​

In conclusion, to me difference between everyone is that I know some better than the other. So, I know how to act around them. Other than that there is no difference.

​

I feel alone no matter where with who , nothing. I've always felt as if I'm alone no matter I'm with my parents, siblings, cousins, friends, best friend. It's the same it's not like they are making me feel like that, most of them that is.

I tried asking for help subtly when I was depressed and i was in deep no one noticed. A while ago i tried confiding in my best friend she...well has a good heart but says what shouldn't be said in the situation. She is just not good with feelings. I tried confiding in someone else but I can't. I feel guilty. But I still try to talk to people to people who are close to me. But it feels like no matter how close someone is to me it's like they were strangers. I don't feel anything even when I broke 3 year old friend ship.

Whenever I'm with a group it feels like I'm an odd one out even when they include me.

It feels like I am alone always has been always will.

And I'm not blaming anyone it's noone's fault. It's just something I've always felt. Alone and isolated.

I feel alone. No matter what it's just lonely.

I feel alone no matter where with who , nothing. I've always felt as if I'm alone no matter I'm with my parents, siblings, cousins, friends, best friend. It's the same it's not like they are making me feel like that, most of them that is.

I tried asking for help subtly when I was depressed and i was in deep no one noticed. A while ago i tried confiding in my best friend she...well has a good heart but says what shouldn't be said in the situation. She is just not good with feelings. I tried confiding in someone else but I can't. I feel guilty. But I still try to talk to people to people who are close to me. But it feels like no matter how close someone is to me it's like they were strangers. I don't feel anything even when I broke 3 year old friend ship.

Whenever I'm with a group it feels like I'm an odd one out even when they include me.

It feels like I am alone always has been always will.

And I'm not blaming anyone it's noone's fault. It's just something I've always felt. Alone and isolated.

I don't know how to describe it properly but I'll try my best. Yesterday I was just watching a show and an incident in it reminded me of the time something similar happened to me. So, at night I was going to sleep but my mind got flooded of those horrible memories and my body started feeling weird like the kind you feel before passing out except I didn't pass out and my breathing got weird after a while I started feeling hands on my thighs and my hands felt like they were touching someone's thighs too even though they were empty and I felt those lips on mine too again I got more and more panicky by the second. If any of you know if this might be anything please let me know.

Thank you in advance

Iwaizumi gives me so much brown vibes for some reason?? Does anyone else seems it??

I personally think that lila will reveal the truth about Gabriel to adrien and then it will be revealed that adrien knew it all along and was testing everyone, but he will play dumb in front of lila , and do exactly what she wants him to while secretly planning something on his own. ( I swear adrien isn't as dumb as we all think)