u/hopelovepeacehappy

I was cleaning the toilet earlier and I stopped because I think my eyes got watery…they stung for a bit but I’m not sure if it was just the smell or the waterlines was the bleach from the spray bottle entering my eye…now anyone would just flush their eyes right with water right just in case…but I can’t because I have to mask at home so I only wash my face in my room or I would have to run the air purifier for hours in the bathroom…I’m not sure what to do can I get blind if I actually have bleach in my eye but don’t rinse it? It’s quite hard for me to rinse because honestly I don’t have a source of streaming water in my room, just a cup of water…I don’t know what to do

The most absolute hardest task is cleaning the toilets but on a minimum I wash my hands at least 12 times.
I split it up into today, and I have only washed my hands 3 times but I keep worrying if I did it correctly or if it’s really enough. I’m scared of fecal bacteria.

I’ve thought of gloves but I know that I would still be washing my hands. I’m typing on here with every urge to just wash them again but I also don’t want to because my hands HURT. They’re peeling. They’re red. I have so many cuts. They itch. They’re dry. It hurts. But I’m so scared my family/friends are going to get ecoli or fecal matter in their food or touch it somewhere and get infected.

I can’t keep doing this my hands are so damaged but I don’t know how to figure out if I really did wash them well. My family/friends also yell at me for washing my hands. They call me “crazy” and make fun of me and stand behind me mocking me. But I still wash them because I don’t want to infect myself or them.

I can’t justify not doing it either. Yes it may at times seem excessive but also the toilets are really filthy…I need to be very careful after handling them.

I’m so terrified I’ll get infected with something terrible by accident I used the shower hose on a spot and it boomeranged onto my face and some droplets went into my nose. I’ve tried to not breathe in as much as I can but I just did and now I’m terrified.

I have OCD and have struggled with getting specialists in my area but I think I have maybe a better chance of getting a CC therapist.
The OCD theme I struggle with the most is Real Event theme and I have a Real event that is largely COVID related that I struggle with…I know it’s said that regardless of theme the treatment is the same but when I have talked to providers about my real event…they have dismissed me because they aren’t usually aware of the full severity of COVID, and think it’s just a sort of cold…so I figured perhaps even if I don’t get an OCD specialist, someone who is more educated on COVID is better fit to help me.

Anyways back to my question, I’m aware there is going to be a variety of answers because of different conditions etc. etc. but if you have seen a therapist that is CC, how was it?
I assume most appointments are virtual but I do not do well virtually and I don’t trust the applications where sessions are held.
Has anyone done an in person appointment?

Earlier by accident I somehow got urine on my digital clock watch on the back of it where the band to adjust it is. I wiped it with a toilet paper tissue, washed my hands and said okay I’ll disinfect it after I leave the bathroom because I don’t have the wipes in here, I went outside grabbed my food because it was waiting for me then went to eat but just before and right after setting my food down I got a disinfect wipe and removed my watch off my wrist with the wipe. Later after I finished eating I got another new wipe and disinfected the whole thing. Left it alone on my bed since it was wet to dry. The label on the wipes say kill 99.9% all germs and viruses. But I’m scared it didn’t kill anything and I just put it on a few minutes ago and I’m wondering if I’m touching everywhere with pee germs because I put my watch on. Also what if I accidentally touched my food with the part that I got dirt on my watch and what if I get infected…

I don’t know if I’m overthinking it or not thinking about it enough and induce vomiting and re-wash my hands and re-disinfect the watch.

This was not smart of me I know but I was remembering an old internet friend and missing them and then I thought oh I think I remember their carrd so I type in the username or well what I thought was what they had titled their carrd with the carrd.co at the end and then it took me to one site that redirected to another one immediately I knew it was sketchy because the url changed and it said I had like 72 viruses or something it happened fast so I exited out as fast as I could and deleted my history (Noob I know but I panicked)…could I have anything bad from visiting this site or is there any way to tell?

I did this on Safari and I do not have Adblock or anything…
How can I even check…I’m reluctant to use my browser right now…
I deleted all my internet history but I doubt that changes anything…
What changes should I monitor? Or is there any application to help find anything?

I’m so terrified it downloaded something bad to my phone or that I now have a virus or something bad on it…

Is it a 24/7 hour sort of thing?

Also is there a certain limit up until they’ll decide to investigate? For example a year after a report was made can they still come? 2 tears after a report even? Or not likely?

If someone makes a report can they rescind it or will it always go through?
For example giving details but then saying no I don’t want to report anymore…will cps follow through anyway or will it actually be dropped?

I’m still learning and very new to all this; I wanted to read about rehabilitation and what that looks like.
I’m learning just about how much our current society is punitive based and want to read about a new society that is unlike ours that is more geared towards ending harm and suffering and allowing for change in individuals to take place.

I often wonder if things like justice are even possible or is justice just the prevention of harm…

I don’t know if that made any sense…anything’s a start and I appreciate it in advance.

I was thinking about this earlier but one of my real events deals with Covid and it made me think, I wonder who else in the cc community also battles OCD while simultaneously manages with precautions and the what ifs or the endless questions and torment the OCD brain has to offer.

I knew OF COURSE there obviously /would/ be people with ocd and in the cc community navigating both things BUT I just hadn’t seen it talked about yet…

For those that maybe don’t recognize “Real Event” it’s a subtype of OCD where ones mind latches to a past event and engages with compulsions surrounding it, like rumination etc. it is still OCD and treated in the same way as any other sub type because it’s all OCD but is perhaps not a very well known manifestation of OCD.

I just wanted to ask how do you cope? Care to let me know about your experience? How do you deal with a real event that is Covid related while also continuing to mask…has it made you more reluctant to go outside etc.?

Are you currently seeing a cc therapist/one that is willing to mask?
Have you ever been dismissed by a therapist who wasn’t aware of Covid’s severity?

Any tips, advice?

It can be very isolating to be the only one taking precautions sometimes and I just wanted to know when also struggling with OCD what it’s like.
From my experience it’s painful but I want to hear others.

And even if you don’t have REOCD and have any other subtype I would also like to know. I know how horrific and hellish OCD can be and would love to know your experience.

This may get discarded as irrelevant but worth a shot!

I did something terrible earlier today.
My job was offering cookies from crumbl today.
They were in another part of the building and for some reason I didn’t expect to serve myself so I went without handwashing.
I went with a friend.

When we got there they told us to pick from two huge boxes.
We tried getting soap but the soap dispenser did not seem to work. My friend decided to hold up the plate up for me because their hands were dirty. Possibly dirtier since they held the door. I can’t remember if I did too.

I panicked but decided okay I’ll just grab the cookies with a napkin and open the box with a napkin.

So I opened the boxes with napkins but I’m pretty sure my fingers touched the box. As far as I remember and I hope I’m remembering correctly I only picked the cookies I was going to eat with the napkins and didn’t touch others with the napkin; both were in the corner.

In the middle I felt a pang of guilt thinking I’m probably going to regret this immensely later.

So I closed the box with the napkin again but I think my fingers touched it again.

I know this was extremely irresponsible but I cannot stop thinking if I should’ve told them to just throw the entire box away so no one gets contaminated. I’m scared someone will get really sick and die.

And what if the soap dispenser really did work but I was doing it wrong? It seemed like an automatic dispenser because it had a red light but what if I was wrong. I feel sick about all this I’m so scared someone will die because of me. I know that there’s also a lesson to be more careful in the future but would someone have to die just so I could learn?

I always wash my hands before I eat and I mask so I don’t eat in front of others but maybe someone else did eat it right there and then and didn’t wash their hands and now they get sick.
What makes me sick more than anything is that I cannot know for certain. Plus what if I’m remembering wrong. I want to say I’m certain I didn’t touch any of the other cookies with my hands but what if my wrong and didn’t feel it. My finger tips definitely at least touched the box. But what if I’m wrong and I really did touch the cookies?

At home I wash my hands excessively so how come I wasn’t consistent here. I resisted going back and telling them about what I did because idk if it’s even worth it but like I don’t know maybe I really should go back. I can’t stop thinking about this.

I know you’re probably like why didn’t you just go somewhere nearby to wash them and comeback and yeah you’re right. The building was a separate one but I should’ve just done that.

I did something terrible earlier today.
My job was offering cookies from crumbl today.
They were in another part of the building and for some reason I didn’t expect to serve myself so I went without handwashing.
I went with a friend.

When we got there they told us to pick from two huge boxes.
We tried getting soap but the soap dispenser did not seem to work. My friend decided to hold up the plate up for me because their hands were dirty. Possibly dirtier since they held the door. I can’t remember if I did too.

I panicked but decided okay I’ll just grab the cookies with a napkin and open the box with a napkin.

So I opened the boxes with napkins but I’m pretty sure my fingers touched the box. As far as I remember and I hope I’m remembering correctly I only picked the cookies I was going to eat with the napkins and didn’t touch others with the napkin; both were in the corner.

In the middle I felt a pang of guilt thinking I’m probably going to regret this immensely later.

So I closed the box with the napkin again but I think my fingers touched it again.

I know this was extremely irresponsible but I cannot stop thinking if I should’ve told them to just throw the entire box away so no one gets contaminated. I’m scared someone will get really sick and die.

And what if the soap dispenser really did work but I was doing it wrong? It seemed like an automatic dispenser because it had a red light but what if I was wrong. I feel sick about all this I’m so scared someone will die because of me. I know that there’s also a lesson to be more careful in the future but would someone have to die just so I could learn?

I always wash my hands before I eat and I mask so I don’t eat in front of others but maybe someone else did eat it right there and then and didn’t wash their hands and now they get sick.
What makes me sick more than anything is that I cannot know for certain. Plus what if I’m remembering wrong. I want to say I’m certain I didn’t touch any of the other donuts with my hands but what if my wrong and didn’t feel it. My finger tips definitely at least touched the box.

At home I wash my hands excessively so how come I wasn’t consistent here. I resisted going back and telling them about what I did because idk if it’s even worth it but like I don’t know maybe I really should go back. I can’t stop thinking about this.

I know you’re probably like why didn’t you just go somewhere nearby to wash them and comeback and yeah you’re right. The building was a separate one but I should’ve just done that.

Also what kind of germs did I have on my hands I can’t stop thinking about it.

I want to apologize too because this may set someone off. I promise to do better I’m sorry.

I have a friend who recently started masking but has plans to travel to a very hot temperature wise/tropical place soon.
The only tips I have for them is disposable masks, sip valves because they’re going to be sweating a lot and a portable air purifier.

I think ideally it’s probably super risky to travel but my friend says that as long as they mask in the airport they’ll likely be fine…
I told them we don’t know that for sure. They plan on eating out but I told them just because they’re in another country won’t mean that Covid will be nonexistent there.

I think they plan on only masking in the airport and then unmasking after they get settled but I urged them if they go shopping they should try to do so as well (any high populated place) but they said it would be impossible as they’d sweat through it…
Honestly it made me think traveling is just hard especially since they most likely will be the only one to be masking.

Any other tips or things you would recommend them?
I’m pretty stumped. I know it’s hard for them and they’d be doing the best they could but I just hope they don’t get infected but even then I know that too is out if their control ultimately.

I’ve been taking B12 supplements since a while ago are burning fingertips a symptom of low or excess levels of b12 because right now my hands feel like they’re burning like I’ve been touching a hot phone all day literally burning. I can still use my hands just that it’s like they’re on fire I seriously can’t stand it.

I’m so tempted to check diaries and personal devices but I know that isn’t right and will not stop there. What is something I can tell myself so I can simply move on…
Realized I was really unclear and I mean scared that my partner is cheating on me without concrete evidence…

I have various themes and fixations but currently I am dealing with this theme in specific the hardest. I hear often that the treatment/attitude towards all themes is the same but I beg to differ when it comes to real event.

It can be fiction (mc with REOCD) but I would prefer non-fiction/educational!

I always wonder about this-what phrase can be said to someone that is seeking reassurance? Or if it’s not about giving answers or a response what words can acknowledge their distress but not try to tackle the topic?

I’m already judged by others when I talk about my fixation on my certain themes and called weird by strangers in non-mental health related spaces and I’ve opened up about certain stuff to a general therapist and have been fine but for other things like intrusive thoughts about real events and just the general intrusive thoughts I’ve been reluctant to talk about.

Can a regular therapist that doesn’t necessarily specialize in OCD probably handle that as well or would it be better to just do so with a specialist?

I saw something once saying that a therapist had a client that said something that really triggered a therapist or was a huge trigger for them and they had to manage it but I imagine that’s pretty hard to do especially in front of somebody. I wonder if I’ve ever triggered one because thus far they seem to not show it? Or like what does one say to oneself?

Sometimes there have been large silences where I’m like okay did I say something weird/bad? (I tend to be a huge over-thinker)

I have had therapists that have their OWN therapists so I wonder if it’s just they deal with it there but I’ve been curious about this because I realized of course therapists are human too of course they have their own stories and would be triggered.

I have a sort of an issue with trying to not offend people so it’s made me reluctant to open up about some stuff because I don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable even if the session is tailored towards me…

Im trying to do some reading on them but I am frankly so terrified which is why I’m trying to get over this fear and trying to learn in the first place. I guess this could go for any other phobia-would it really just have to be exposure?