u/iLovemyMathBoyfriend

I’m going into engineering in the fall and my final high school average was 96.2%. When I was still accepted to UofC they emailed me telling me I was eligible for $5000 because my ave. was also above 95%… but UofA has never said anything to me…

Will they ever email me about this? I want to make sure I have enough money to pay for my tuition and residence… but I’m getting a little nervous.

Diploma marks are out…. And my average is a 96.2% (math 30-1, math 31, chem 30, physics 30 and ela 30-1)…

Last month some shit went down with my mom, and she almost kicked me out. Lucky she didn’t.. Her, my sister, and I were going to move to Edmonton for my university but she told me that I had to figure out my own stuff (housing). I had to get my residence application reinstated, and thankfully they found a place for me.

Before things got rocky between us, my mom always talked about money.. how I need to save, how I might not have enough, etc.. it stressed me out a lot. But the other day my student loans got back to me… I’m getting a good chunk of money.. and with my average being higher than I anticipated I might also get the $6000 entrance scholarship from uofa. I’m also getting some scholarships from my school..

I guess my biggest point is that I’m pretty sure I’m going to have enough money for my first year of school (engineering).. for a few weeks I really thought I was screwed. I thought I’d have to take a gap year to save money. I didn’t think I was going to have a home. But I think I’m okay :)

(I apologize for the repost... i'll at least use this to add more details/clarify)

About 7 months ago this guy messaged me on Reddit and we started talking and now (presently) we are still talking. I was 17 when we started talking and we never exchanged photos, but we often talked about meeting with the intention of doing things. Long story short, we did end up meeting, and we did do things. I didn’t get assaulted. Nothing bad happened at all. He’s actually very sweet. We plan on meeting again. But a part of me feels awful. He’s never asked for my number. He didn’t even say my name once when we hung out. I think he only wants me for sex, and I don’t think he wants a loving relationship. I’m trying to tell myself that friends with benefits is fine, and that it’s okay to not want a loving relationship. I’m going into my first year of uni in the fall, so I’m trying to justify our relationship because I’m not going to have time for an actual relationship while im in uni.

(Btw, I only told my mom that I met this guy on a dating app after I was 18… because she would flip her shit if she knew the whole story) When I told my mom about meeting him she completely lost it. She was convinced something bad was going to happen to me. She said she felt betrayed and used. On top of saying a bunch of hurtful things, she told me she wanted me out of the house. (basically, she was kicking me out). We were planning on moving into the city for my uni, but she said I had to figure out my own living situation because she said if I feel I’m adult enough to sleep with 53 year olds that I’m adult enough to figure out my own life. I get it. I get where she’s coming from. But I feel so stupid. I kind of hate myself. And it’s too late to go back. Also, I was supposed to go to a concert last night but my mom wouldn’t drive me because I told my boss that I was being kicked out (basically, the night I told her about this guy, she told me she wanted me out of the house. The next morning she said she wasn’t being serious, but then for the next week she didn’t talk to me at all. I honestly thought she still wanted me gone, so I mentioned it to my boss because I really did think I was screwed. I was planning on moving into the city with my friend and taking a gap year… but again, my mom "wasn't being serious" and she said I could live with her for the summer, but then I have to get out) so anyways, it somehow got back to my mom that I told my boss I was being kicked out, so she didn’t drive me.

I'm no longer moving with my friend (neither of us have credit, or full-time jobs, so that idea was short-lived). I contacted my schools residence services and I told them I was going to be kicked out (because this all happened after the residence deadline, I missed the window to pay the deposit... so i had to ask them to basically reinstate my residence application). The other day my mom asked me how I got them to reinstate my application, so I told her... she basically said she was hurt I would make her out to be a monster, and that sometimes we have to lie or stretch the truth to get what we need.... But i genuinely thought i was being kicked out... idk.

I just can’t shake the feeling of self hatred. I thought everything would be okay. I was valedictorian of my class. I’m going into engineering. I thought I was doing okay. I even told my mom about this guy in person.... Like face to face conversation. All I wanted was a little affection. All I wanted was to have some fun (the concert) before I go to uni. But I’ve completely screwed myself. I wanted this summer to be fun but so far I feel depressed. I feel like a whore. I feel like an idiot. I feel like a liar. I feel broke and stuck. It just feels like everything has blown up in my face. I’m worried I’ll become depressed over the summer. Idk what to do anymore. And I can’t even blame it on the guy I’m talking to. It’s all my fault. And my mom is right. I’m just a stupid kid who thinks I can act like an adult without any repercussions.

I’m also at a loss. Basically, this guy lives in another town a few hours away, but he sometimes works in a town close to where I live. He came down recently for a week (close to me), and while he was here he texted me every day. He seemed genuinely interested in what I was doing, and made great small talk. It was nice. But now that he’s gone back to his town, he’s more quiet again. I know he’s only texting me to keep me hooked… it sucks… I want to let go but it’s hard.

I apologize that this is kind of all over the place… but everything that’s happened has happened because I told my mom about this guy :(

Also, thank you to the few people who commented on my last post :)

Is this normal? Ever since I got braces my jaw has been clicking when I eat in the morning. I’ve had my braces on for almost 2 years (although I’m getting them off in early July) but it just weirds me out… it’s been especially bad the past few months.

It doesn’t hurt, but I’m scared that my jaws going to dislocate or something lol… is this even possible?

I do.

I recently made out with a man (it was my first time) and I was straddling him. While we were kissing he asked me to touch him as well… he was already touching my body which was very nice, but I felt like if I had started touching him in the same way (grabbing his ass/licking his chest, etc) that he wouldn’t have felt sexy/good. Instead, I started running my hands through his hair and kissing his neck. I didn’t really know what else to do. Is there anything else I can do to make him feel more sexy/wanted?

Of course, next time I see him I’ll ask what he likes… but is there some universal way men like to be touched?

Edit: this also includes feeling cared for, and overall making a moment feel more intimate (not purely sexual)

I know diplomas/finals season is stressful, but relax a little. Don’t ever feel guilty for taking a day/night off. Do something you love. Watch that movie. Read that book. Do whatever makes you happy. Go for that walk. Let your brain and body reset.

Just remember: you’re almost done. And you’re doing great!

Unfortunately I don’t have enough money to go into engineering right away, so I’ve decided I’m taking a gap year to save up… but of course, I’m worried I’m going to lose everything I know from high school.

I was thinking of tutoring other high school students to keep my mind fresh, and doing practice problems and such. But idk if this will work.

For those who took a gap year before going into engineering, what did you do? And for those who didn’t take a gap year… what do you think I could do? Any help would be appreciated!

I'm not an ELA genius, but I think I just cracked the code (I'm also kind of panicking for the diploma lol)

So, my teacher always said CRTs need to follow the progression of characters, but I never knew how to actually write that. (also, I think I've been stuck in this bad habit of writing all my essays like a PRT, where the first body talks about one source, the second about another source, or myself, and the third about the unifying effect). BUTTTT, I think I understand what he meant.

For example, I just finished brainstorming the prompt "The roll integrity plays when an individual builds a lasting legacy". I choose Anthony Doerr's All The Light We Cannot See, and Arther Miller's Death of a Saleman. I picked Werner Pfennig and Willy Loman to talk about. Basically, for both characters I planned how they wanted a legacy (how and why they wanted it), then how they were dishonest with themselves, and how they didn't uphold strong moral principles, and then how they thus couldn't establish a legacy. But, because I was following my PRT style of writing, that still left me with my third paragraph....

Well, this is the great part...whatever your thesis is, it should typically have a structure: first this, then this, resulting in this. And, each body paragraph needs to ALSO follow that structure.

For example, my thesis statement was:

In both Doerr's novel, and Miller's play, the central idea evoked is that an individual's dishonesty—with themselves—and failure to adhere to robust moral principles will disable them from establishing a lasting legacy. 

And, each paragraph should then follow as:

Intro - Start with generalized statement, then bring in the texts you're going to discuss. Then state your thesis.

Body 1 - How/why both characters want to build a legacy. For example, Werner doesn't want to end up in the mines, and everyone around him is encouraging him in pursuing science. And, Willy's experience with Dave Single man made him want to become a salesman.

Body 2 - But, both of them were dishonest with themselves, and lacked strong moral principles. For instance, Werner told Jutta he wouldn't change, and that he'd write to her. But, after only sending one letter, he ended them with "Sieg Heil". And, he started designing radios with limited frequency, showing how he destroyed his connection to truth (and effectively, disconnecting himself with his own truth; his love of science). As well, he threw water on the prisoner, and didn't help Fredrick when he was being violated (unmoral, doing what everyone is doing, even though it's not right). Furthermore, Willy was often delusional thinking of his brother, Ben (couldn't face the truth of the world). Thus, ideas of stealing and hard work ("Never fight fair with a stranger. You'll never get out of the jungle that way") were instilled in Willy's mind. And, this is exactly how he taught his sons, particularly Biff. When Biff stole the balls, Willy congratulated him, and told him his coach would be impressed by his "initiative". Also... the stockings. Cheating on your wife is not coolio bro (very unmoral).

Body 3 - How they can't or didn't create a legacy. Werner is now completely (metaphorically) blind. Near the end, his radio can not properly receive signals. Him and his crew go into a build, and accidentally kill a kid/mother (killing kids is not a good legacy). After Werners death, Volkhimer received Werners bag (because other people labeled it as a "Dead soilders [item] whos name [had] been lost"), and Jutta also exclaimed that "Her memories of her brother have become things to lock away". (homeboy has no legacy). Likewise, when Willy dies, very few people come to his funeral. And, before he kills himself, Willy tries to plant seeds, showing how he's gained nothing in his life. Also, the dirt sucks (metaphor for Willy's sucky life)

Conclusion - Restate thesis. Lightly discuss literary texts again. End with another generalization, and maybe a "so what?" statement (why does what you're talking about matter?).

Obviously try to include good evidence (quotes), talk about the stylistic choice of whoever you're discussing, and BE CLEAR AND CONCISE (try to avoid flowery bs).

Anyways, what I essentially realized is that each body paragraph literally needs to flow with whatever character(s) you're talking about (and that they also need to flow/follow with your thesis)!

I hope this makes sense/helps!

Edit: sorry, it should be CART, not CRT :P

I’ve read The Road. I just finished Station Eleven. I’ve read the Oryx and Crake trilogy. I’ve read The Handmaids Tale and The Testaments. And while these books are good, I want something that’s absolutely devastating and brutal. No happy endings.

I currently have On The Beach in my reading list (which I’ve heard has a brutal ending), but is there anything else out there?

Are y’all good in English? Do you do good on tests? Essays?

I think I eventually want to study lit. after I’m done my engineering degree (I think it’s really cool)…. But I’m kind of terrible at reading comprehension. But, I can at least write a good essay.

I guess I’m sorta asking: do I have to be good in English in high school to study literature? Or does it just come down to passion? Would I be wasting time/money doing it? Will I go into it and get absolutely shit on?

Apparently in high school my teacher got 100% on both his written and multiple choice English diplomas.. so I feel kinda lost. Is that really the standard?

Idk how so many people are saying that 30-1 is harder. Personally, I think it’s harder because of the workload. But conceptually, math 31 is wayyy harder.

And I’m saying this as someone who loves math (calc might be changing my mind though). Like I’m really trying to convince myself that it’s easier… but related rates… taking the derivative of logs… it makes me feel insane.

What are y’all’s thoughts/experiences?