u/ihatebindweed

Northern Illinois.

Any idea what these are? They were supposed to be shishitos. Instead my habaneros are shishitos. Sigh.

So I have a… less than ideal neighbor. I need a privacy screen between our houses asap so I can enjoy my yard without being stared at and having his three giant dogs hurl themselves at the fence. Also this strip is ugly and unused. It gets full sun. I know I’m probably not going to get everything on my checklist, but maybe you lovely folks could help me out? Here’s my list, sort of in order:

- Does not grow wider than five feet (or can easily be trimmed back)
- grows at least eight feet but not more than fifteen feet (or can easily be trimmed down) due to overhead power lines
- evergreen or at least not completely bare/see-through in the winter
- not super tempting or poisonous for my own dogs, who like to munch grass

And of course, I’d like it to be native to northern Illinois or nearby regions. Thank you for any recommendations and advice!

Edit to add: so far I’m considering eastern arborvitae, red-osier dogwood, arrowwood viburnum, American hazelnut, sweet pepperbush, and serviceberry.

I planted three bushes in the spring and they’ve been doing pretty well, but in the last five days this one has taken a turn and the leaves are turning yellow and red and some have gone crispy. I’ve been watering every other day. We did have a heat wave and then horrible air quality (AQI over 500) so that could be a factor? Any tips appreciated, I really don’t want it to die!

Just beautiful. That’s all ✨

EDIT TWO: the mods in the other subreddit sent the following message: Hey, your post in another community is causing brigading issues in r/Parenting. This can result in a permanent ban. If you wanted attention so badly - you've got it. What's happening?

The “if you wanted attention so badly” really gets me, jfc. Anyway please don’t go over to them and cause trouble on my behalf. I won’t be interacting over there anymore whether they ban me or not.

EDIT: holy crap this blew up!!! Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond, I so appreciate all of your comments and although I can’t respond to them all, I am reading each one. I do love being a mom and I know parenting is a journey and this is just a rough patch. Thank you GDD community for making me feel seen and much less alone. I’m so grateful 💖

I posted a vent about how I have no village and am really struggling with my high-needs child in r/parenting. The mods deleted my post and when I sent a message asking for an explanation they said a reason was already provided and muted me. The only “reason” posted is a link to their crisis wiki, which really feels like they’re saying “hey psycho, this is too much for you to share here, go to therapy.” It’s so fucking stupid but I’m literally crying over a Reddit post because I have no help and no one to talk to and… idk man. I feel like something’s wrong with me. Why am I so alone? Why am I so pathetic that I have to turn to strangers on the internet for comfort and even then I’m getting rejected??

Original post here:

I have a fifteen mo daughter who I absolutely adore. She is amazing and I think she’s the coolest kid ever. She is also very clingy, cautious, and does not like spending time away from me or my husband, at all. She’s been this way since day one. I want to read a book? Nope. I need to make dinner? Nope. I need to let the dogs out or throw some laundry in the wash? No and no.

The only tasks I can do while she’s awake are things that I can involve her in. Anything that isn’t safe or possible with her all up in my face has to wait for nap or bedtime, which is not enough time in the day if I want to sleep. (Also she is not a good sleeper. I’m typing this while she naps on me because she skipped her first nap and was screaming for over an hour for her second and I didn’t know what else to do.)

I can count on one hand the number of moments I’ve had to relax by myself since she was born. All of my waking hours are taken up by working, cleaning, cooking, or parenting. And before anyone comes for my husband—he’s juggling freelance work with being a SAHD and is having the same experience, if not more so. This one toddler is stretching us both SO THIN and we have no one else in our lives who can help. We’re also broke so we can’t even get help in the form of like ordering takeout without checking the budget and feeling guilty.

It doesn’t help that I have a cousin with a kid one month younger than mine, and she’s always telling me about what an easy, chill baby he is. He’s slept twelve hours a night since he was 10 weeks old. I’ve never heard him cry. She’s also quite wealthy and has him in full-time daycare, so we’re having different experiences. She told me that she is BORED and wants to have another to “liven things up.”

Ugggh what I would give to be bored. I used to travel and paint and read and cook elaborate meals and now I’m just… a zombie. A zombie with Cheerios in my pocket and a baby drooling all over my dirty t-shirt. I didn’t know it was going to be this hard…. Rant over, I guess. Maybe I’ll get to rest and be myself again when she goes off to college, if I don’t have mental breakdown first.
———

Sad girl dinner is curry varenyky from a local Ukrainian cafe and eaten in the park. I forgot a fork, of course.

The view through my fence into my neighbor’s yard. I will never beat the bindweed 😭😭😭 and no she will not let me get back there to pull it, she thinks it’s “pretty”

Pulled from a ten foot strip next to my garage. The bindweed is never ending. I shall never win this war… yet I persist. Doggo for scale.

God I love raspberries. The easiest and most productive plant in my garden by far ❤️

My coreopsis and liatris are going off and I love it! The bees are loving the raspberries and we’re having a great harvest so far. However the baptisia I planted this year is struggling. I think it may be because we’ve had such a wet summer. If anyone has tips lmk! Also the bindweed wars continue…