u/ilobbpie

My boyfriend and I live in a great apt complex. We love our home and have no substantial issues with any of our neighbors or the property.

There’s a couple that live directly above us that are around our age (late 20s). We will say hi to each other in passing and they’ve always seemed friendly and pleasant.

We’ve occasionally heard noises from the apt above - music or tv - but it’s never too late at night and been at a normal level. Part of apt living is accepting thin walls so not really a big deal.

But last week, around 1 AM my boyfriend and I woke up to what I can also describe as vitriolic screaming. Like genuinely it was the sound of a female voice shrieking obscenities and sobbing intermittently. Then we heard a male voice yell back and it went on like this for a while.

This is the first I’ve ever experienced this level of screaming from neighbors. I could actually hear the words being screamed.

My partner and I debated calling the cops/ non-emergency line, the leasing office in the morning, but we weren’t 100% sure of the appropriate thing to do here so we just tried going back to bed

The yelling kept going, and I just kept listening for anything breaking or being thrown or cries for help (the screaming got extremely intense at one point and I was worried it would escalate).

My parents often screamed at each other like that and it would often result in violence to either me / my siblings or to each other so the whole situation was a little triggering.

What’s best practice if this happens again? We’ve heard yelling a couple more nights but nowhere near as bad as the night in question.

edit for typos

I grew up in America but have Indian ancestry. Recently, I saw the movie “Monkey Man” by/with Dev Patel which featured trans Indian women.

I thought this was cool, and asked my great-aunt about it who saw it with me. She told me, having grown up in India, that before the British colonization of the region, trans people in India were not demonized the way they are now. I tried researching, but I’m curious for a historian’s perspective on this!

Thanks in advance.

I watched Andor for the first time with my partner and I noticed something interesting about hair.

In a book I had to read in undergrad, Escape from Freedom, Erich Fromm draws a distinction between “freedom from” and “freedom to.”

Freedom from is negative: escaping a system, removing constraints. Freedom to is positive: the ability to actually make choices, to live autonomously. Fromm argues that true freedom is terrifying, and that people often flee from it into authoritarian systems that offer structure and belonging instead.

IMO, Gilroy does a really good job of showing this concept through something as small as hair and grooming. When I watch Andor I can’t help but see how the empire is frrr inescapable, controlling even style and personal appearance / bodily autonomy ) What I noticed is that characters fall into three relationships with Imperial appearance that map onto Fromm’s framework.

(yes I have autism, why do you ask?)

Conformity as belonging: Dedra and Syril
Start here because this is Fromm’s core argument. Dedra’s bun is precise, never a strand out of place, just like I’m sure ISB dress code indicates. The only time we see her hair even slightly messy is after Krennic interrogated her in the last episode.
Think about Syril in his opening introduction. He admits to his superior that he got his uniform tailored. People like Syril and Dedra find comfort in the conformity. It’s not prison, it’s a sense of belonging. That’s what bonded them together. This is Fromm’s escape from freedom: the authoritarian system isn’t imposed on them, they run toward it.

Conformity as sacrifice: Luthen and Mon Mothma
Then there are the people who see the cage for what it is but wear it anyway. Think about someone looking different or unique in Coruscant high society. You can’t. To be accepted into polite Empire society, Luthen must adhere to unspoken fashion rules. The wig is a concession and a costume all in one. It shows that authoritarianism causes people to inherently bend their personal tastes to be part of the flock.

Mon Mothma is the same. Her hair goes from slick and perfectly coiffed on Coruscant to soft and fluffy when she leaves. She’s a senator on the edge of political society already, so she arguably has more reason to conform than anyone. The control is so total that - for the most part - no one even tries to separate from the herd, and that’s what makes it so oppressive. It doesn’t need to be enforced through punishment. It doesn’t need to be.

Luthen and Mon Mothma are distinct from Dedra and Syril because they haven’t escaped into conformity. They’ve surrendered their own “freedom to” in order to fight for everyone else’s. The wig, the coiffed hair, that’s the cost of resistance from within.

Freedom to: Andor on Yavinn
Ofc you have the basic answer that there aren’t beauty styling tools available on Yavin, nor are people thinking about beauty when they’re living in the jungle trying to fight the rebellion. But then Andor himself. You can see after he’s been on Yavin for a while he gets a haircut. Quite neater honestly and shorter, which suits him. This is the first time we see him choose a haircut. On Yavin, there was more freedom than there ever was. Freedom to not do your hair, freedom to get it cut neater, whatever. He had the ability to make a choice for once. That’s Fromm’s positive freedom: not just escaping the Empire, but actually being free to exist on your own terms.

EDIT to add another point i made in the comments after someone pointed out Dedra’s use of a hair net for her bun —-

- What’s interesting about the Fromm framework is the idea that for those who gravitate to authoritarianism like Dedra find freedom abhorrent and will do anything to uphold tyranny for their own feeling of safety. Think about Dedra’s speech when she meets Luthen she says “you don’t want freedom, you want chaos”. To Dedra, those are one and the same. So your point abt the hair net makes sense - if she allows the empire to control everything about her - even tiny strands of hair - she is safe.

Andor means a lot to me and I saw it for the first time this year.

Context -

This was also the year that I went no contact with my abusive family and I really resonated with the theme of rising up against a tyrannical force even with a clear power imbalance.

Tattoos were always forbidden for me even in my twenties so it’s like a small act of resistance now that my life is mine for the first time.

I turn 28 on Tuesday and open to any and all ideas.

Thanks in advance :)

I have 2c / 3a fine curly shoulder length hair and am looking for something preferably under $100 (not including tip!)

Been white knuckling it lately but could use some help managing.

Hi! I’m about two months into using Hevy and love the product so far.

I have very little fitness experience beyond cardio and noticed a plateau in my weight loss journey - while cardio has been awesome for helping me lose 100+ lbs, I’ve been plateauing basically for the past 6-8 months.

After some research, I saw that incorporating strength training was a practical next step to hit my goal weight so I’ve been hitting my modest apt gym 4-5x a week.

TLDR - I’d love some guidance on my split as I feel like I’m still not sure if I’m doing an effective programme.

STATS FOR CONTEXT -

5’3 Female

27 years old

Current food intake - 1.5-1.6k a day prioritizing 150g of protein and aiming for low fat (Ive been, for the past 2 months , working on tracking everything I eat). I’m willing to cut to 1.2k if needed but find I tend to binge when I restrict too much.

SW (2020) - 290
Note - from 2020-2021 I was on zepbound (GLP 1 to kickstart my weight loss. After losing a lot of weight fast I weaned off as I felt weak all the time. I don’t plan on starting again)
CW - 180 (plateaued for the past 6 months)
goal weight - 135-145

Current Split (aiming for progressive overload every week, often to failure but prioritizing form)

pull day (abt 2 min and 15 second rest between each set/exercise)

1. Lat pull down (cable)
   - warm up set
   - 3 sets (8-12)
2. Bent over row (dumbbell)
   - 3 sets (8-12)
3. Bicycle crunches
   - 3 sets of 10-15

Leg A

1. leg press (machine)
   - warm up set
   - 3 sets (10-12)
2. RDL (dumbbell)
   - 3 sets (8-10)
3. Standing calf raises
   - 3 sets (15-25)
4. Single leg glute bridges
   - 2 sets (8-10)

Active rest day
- 2 miles steady walking pace either outdoors or on treadmill

Push day

1. kettle bell shoulder press
   - 3 sets (8-10 reps)
2. Tricep extension (dumbbell)
   - 3 sets (8-10 reps)
3. Floor press (dumbbell)
   - 3 sets (8-12 reps)
4. Russian twists
   - 2 sets (10-15 reps)

Leg B

1. Single leg press (machine)
   - 3 sets (10-15 reps each leg)
2. Standing calf raises (dumbbell)
   - 3 sets (12-15)
3. Goblet squat
   - 3 sets (8-12)

I really have no idea what I’m doing so I’m super open to opinions and guidance!!

Thank you in advance.