u/impossibleredhead

Our divorce is uncontested. He drafted a separation agreement that I’ve agreed to. Basically we just need/want someone to draft and file the overly complicated paperwork required.

I had a free consultation with an LLLT yesterday. She’s charging a flat fee of $1500. He spoke to a paralegal and she charges a flat fee of $495.

I guess I’m confused about the difference. Is there a benefit to using an LLLT versus a paralegal?

Have any of you done either? Any input is greatly appreciated.

My husband will be moving out next month. We’re keeping the house until our youngest graduates next June. It’s not gotten ugly. He’s paying the house bills after he moves out. I’m slowly making repairs/updates to the house.

I’m only now realizing that the last time was the last time. Christmas. That was the last one. Thanksgiving. That was the last one. Our anniversary trip. Last one.

I’m sure this is all for the best in the end. But I’m really sentimental and this is absolutely wrecking me.

This sunset tonight will likely be the last July sunset for me in this home we shared for so many years. I’m hopeful, but I’m also devastated. This isn’t how I wanted this to go. To end. Sigh.

Did anyone else feel this way?

He’s out of town for a tournament. He left on Saturday. He texted when he arrived (I asked him to let me know he made it safely) and that’s the last I heard from him.

This is the longest in 27 years that we’ve gone without communication. I know I’ll eventually get used to it, but does it ever stop hurting?!

He’s moving out next month and I know this will be the normal way of life from then on. Sure, we’ll discuss things about the kids when needed, and when the papers are actually filed.

I miss my best friend. I miss how we used to be. Nothing feels real or good anymore.

How do you get through it?

I’m 48, with 2 kids. We currently share my married name. Going through a divorce is hard enough, but I’m thinking about what happens after. I’ve been married for 21 years. I remember the process of changing my name to be a complete nightmare. I dragged my feet and only changed it when I got pregnant.

Now that we’re divorcing, do I change it back to my maiden name, or just keep the married name for simplicity? I’m thinking about driver license, passport, work, and not to mention no longer sharing a last name with my kids.

Which way did you go and why?

The conversation was had in March. 21 years married and 27 living together.

He texted me today that he’s moving on 9/1 into a rental. We still haven’t filed. Two kids at home.

I know this is likely for the best, but I’m completely wrecked. Nothing “bad” happened, which is almost worse to me. I’m on antidepressants but it doesn’t seem to be helping a lot.

Please tell me that this gets better, and that some point I won’t feel like complete gutter trash. I can barely sleep or function, and my job just got adjusted on 7/1. I’m in shambles.

I guess you could say we’re separated. We decided in March to divorce. Together for 27 years, married for 21. Two kids-17 and 19. Two weeks after the only conversation about it, he emailed me a “document” with what he wants as the arrangement for the divorce. He doesn’t want to use lawyers.

At first, it felt a little like a relief. The last few years have been difficult, but he’s been gone a lot with a team he coaches, so there was no fighting.

Now that it’s announced, he’s been nicer, but also gone a lot more often. My mom and sister thinks he’s got a gf. I asked him, and naturally he said “no,” and that he’s going to “die alone like an old miser.”

He just got back today from a 3 day trip for golf. He wouldn’t answer when I called while he was gone. I texted and responded to that.

I know I’m allowed to be angry, but being that he’s a dismissive avoidant, it will do no good. He told me I need to move on. Except we weren’t planning to move until after our child graduates next year.

I’m so pissed. Bitter, full of rage. To think I spent so of much my time supporting this man in every way possible, and this is how it ends? Did I just set him up to have another woman reap the benefits of all the work we did?? I feel like such a fool.

Please tell me that this feeling will subside and eventually I’ll want to be happy for him. Because right now, I want him to be suffering and miserable.

Husband and I decided in March (after one conversation only) that we’re going to end our marriage. Our youngest is a junior. We agreed to wait to split until after she graduates next year.

No drama, just years of letting it go until we became strangers. After looking into a therapist for myself, it looks like he’s a dismissive avoidant, which makes so much sense, and I feel validated in that. I’m not perfect either-eldest daughter to parents who made me parent my three younger siblings.

We told the kids a few weeks ago. They’re devastated and not speaking to either of us yet. I’m trying to give space, but let them know I’m here if they want to talk.

For at least the last 7 years, I’ve been fully responsible for all of the household duties-laundry, cooking, cleaning, doctor appointments, vet appointments, shopping, school things, etc. He pays a bulk of the bills (makes 3x what I do). Our main point of contention in the last 10 years was always money. He thinks because he pays for things he didn’t need to participate in the rest.

Fast forward to now. He didn’t want to try counseling. He said “I can’t make you happy, so why waste the time and money.”

He’s a coach for a softball team. They have practice 3 times a week, and travel for tournaments 6 months out of the year. He’s currently on a trip with his team. He left Thursday and I didn’t hear from him until minutes ago, via text saying “I’ll be home tomorrow.”

I just don’t know what to do? Or feel? We’re not staying together, but we sleep in the same bed. And the kids still live here. Do I have a conversation about boundaries, or do I just accept this as is? We’ll be in this house for at least another year.

It’s just weird. I don’t know anyone else that has been in this kind of situation. Any and all thoughts are much appreciated.

I’m seeing a doctor. Got a blood draw last week. I’m currently on progesterone. Tried testosterone but it made me breakout in cystic acne.

I read all of these posts, and I love you all for being so supportive towards each other.

I’m just…. Over it? It’s soooooooo frustrating! I’m doing all of things, and still I feel like garbage. I’m gaining weight, I can’t sleep, my anxiety and overthinking are insane. My fuse isn’t short, but my brain activity is! My joints are gone, my muscles ache, and I have no libido. Currently going through a divorce too, after 26 years together.

Does it get better??? Is this it?! Will I ever feel at home in this body again??