u/istopforbunnies

sometimes i wonder if i’m even bipolar because the highs don’t seem to last that long (maybe 2 weeks) and then i feel just okay for a bit. then when i’m low it feels like it goes on forever. it’s like i suddenly snap back to reality and realize i’m not as good of a person as i thought i was and i can’t get actually close to anyone because i’m so fucking avoidant everyone repulses me after a while.

i start thinking about abusing drugs again and ways to kill myself without hurting my family (disappearing then doing it in a remote location seems like the easiest option because at least they would have the false hope of me being alive somewhere). anyways i know eventually the good comes back but it doesn’t feel worth it anymore. fuck life man i can’t do anything worthwhile.

it’s been a while since i’ve asked you guys for music recommendations!! i look forward to putting your suggestions in my queue :)

i’ve been listening to a lottt of new stuff lately but i will just put 5 for now:

• eat the pavement by dev lemons
• drinking by boa
• good good things by drain
• thought you were waving by militarie gun
• canned heat by turnstile

i will admit this is partially my fault too because i love being alone so i can go days / weeks without talking to them but i still make an effort to start convos and plan hangouts, but it isn’t reciprocated that much. i tried making plans this weekend for the 4th a few times and they said yes each time but then no one said anything to me yesterday or today. i am not gonna beg anyone to hangout w me but damn i guess i should take the hint??

i could obviously make new friends but i don’t do a lot besides work 8-530 every weekday. my sister is my best friend so at least i have her! anyone else have this problem and do you feel bad about it or should i be content i have friends at all?

it was one of my favorite sets ever at roo and i would love to see it again!! i can’t find it online as the original video was taken down. did anyone save it beforehand??

i don’t mean like overly obvious barking or continuous growling i mean that noise they make in canned heat!!! i need to hear more of it please please please

i just came back from bonnaroo a few days ago and i am struggling with settling into my usual routine. with every day that passes it feels more like a dream than a real memory. that whole week i was on cloud nine!! wow this is what life is about! life is worth living bring out the channel 5 news!! bring the bass back. bring the band out on the stoop.

i have to remind myself without the lows the highs wouldn’t feel as good or something. sometimes it just makes them feel cheap though.