u/jared_d

Love this combo, so good. Pulling perfect right now, tastes as good as it looks. Grinder is the Starseeker Edge63, which is a 63mm conical grinder, and has been flawless for me over the past several months. This feels like my end game setup.

Wife's car. Time for new tires, looking at options to make it a smoother ride, and give her more sidewall and less rim, for no reason at all........ ;)

I have a buddy who recently replaced his M3 LR tires, and has his original set of 18's with basically brand new tires for a great price.

So far the only difference I can see is the load rating on the tires, and of course the difference in tire size, but I would likely just replace the tires anyway, with the 235/55R18 104 XL Michelin CrossClimate2 - which would be the same tires I'd get in the 20" size if I just replace her tires outright.

Thoughts?

For years, my wife, our two kids, and I went to the same beach town for a week with part of my wife’s family: her brother, SIL, their kids, and her mom. We originally did this because another sibling’s family lived there, so it was a chance for all the cousins to be together.

The issue is that the trip became extremely repetitive and rigid. Same beach, same street, same basic schedule, same restaurants/meals on the same days, strict quiet times/bedtimes, very little flexibility. My wife’s family is very routine-driven and frugal. My family is structured too, but on vacation we like variety, activities, and some flexibility. When the other sibling’s family still lived there, there was more balance. Once they stopped going, it became just us and the routine-driven side.

The last couple years were miserable. The houses got smaller while the kids got bigger, the routine became more rigid, our kids were bored and stir-crazy, and I ended up trying to take them out to do things just to break up the week. That caused tension because I was “going outside the plan.” My wife was also stressed and admitted afterward that the trip was no longer enjoyable.

After the last trip, my wife and I had a long conversation and agreed we would not do that same vacation again. We talked about trying something different: mountains, lake, different beach, really anything else.

Recently, my wife handed me her phone and asked which vacation house was nicer. It was the same beach, same street, basically the same exact trip again. I was angry because I thought we had already agreed this was done.

Her explanation is that her mom said this location is sentimental to her and that she wanted all the grandkids together there. Her brother’s family agreed immediately. My wife says it was “this or nothing,” so she chose this because getting Grandma and the grandkids together was important to her. She has already fully committed herself and our kids to going for the full week, and she assumed I would eventually just agree and go too.

My issue is that I feel like her mom and brother made the decision, my wife accepted it, and I was informed after the fact. I told her I felt betrayed and isolated because we had already agreed as a couple not to repeat this trip. She keeps circling back to “this is important to me, why won’t you just do it for me?”

We've been fighting for a solid week about it, so I offered a compromise - I said that because it's become so important to her, I'd come for the last two nights. She has committed herself and the kids for the full week. Now she says that since she knows I don’t want to be there, I’ve ruined it, and asks why I have to “act like this.” She has also brought it up around the kids, so now they know there is conflict.

I am not trying to stop the kids from seeing their grandmother. I am not saying no to them going. I am saying no to spending a full week of my vacation time repeating the exact trip we already agreed was bad for our family.