u/justanotheeredditor

Posting on behalf of a friend.

She is from India, Pune has finished her bachelors in UBC and had an extended student permit to continue furthering her studies. She left Canada in April due to a medical issue and was supposed to be back this week, however she was denied entry at the border due to her extended student permit is not equal to a canadian visa. She needs help now on how to apply for a temporary visa from the outside.

To my knowledge she should just apply to immigration from India right? Is this a very particular difficult case due to her being Indian and be granted a multiple entry visa or should be easy considering she has a student permit already?

TMI i guess but I just realized why I have been feeling like shit and wanted to vent at the place I know I could be heard and understood.

I have always been very sure of my gender, so much that I do not care if people perceive me as a woman as I have not made any physical changes neither I take hormones. I can be both very femme presenting or masc. Because I know gender is more complex than simply black or white I also avoid to make generalizations as I think its hypocritical of me and try to live my life the way I wish other treat me.

Anyway, lately theres been to instances where I have noticed I have developed some high dysphoria and may be controversial, specially one.

I befriended a girl who is a lesbian and is very involved in her community but is also extremist in her views. She hates men which I understand lol i guess but I have realized that she loves to really divide people in a very binary way. Lesbians, non lesbians, men, women, masc, femme etc. I have told her I prefer to not make generalizations but I know its a different way of seeing things so I try to not get hung onto that but lately I have realized it may have affected me more than I am willing to admit as I have started to perceive myself in that binary box.

The second point is my sex life. I recently went back to having sex after almost a decade of nothing. Due to trauma and many things I never did a thing with someone else but after lots of work decided to start seeing people casually. No strings attached just sex.

I have always considered myself pansexual if anything but with maybe a stronger preference for male presenting people. Due to this I thought of having sex with men would be easier to just end the dry spell lol and I am starting to regret it.

I do not disclose I am NB as its genuinely people I dont want to have any real type of relationship with. I am not silly and take my precautions and health very seriously but yeah, its basically super transactional so i dont see the point on trying to tell them about my gender indentity and that I am not a woman. But I believe this has led me to being dysphoric. At first i didnt mind the gendered dirty talk and was hot but has hit me lately that I an genuinely starting to box myself as woman and that thought gives me a lot of fear and anxiety. The people i sleep with arent violent or aggressive, they are actually really decent people so its not about that but I guess knowing we are sleeping together but being perceived and treated as a woman is starting to get to me.

Its not that I hate being AFAB, i truly dont. But I think these two experiences have made me feel very weirdly about my gender and I am trying very hard to get back to a good headspace regarding my gender and my identity. I hope it makes sense.

I looooove Midnight Sun, have been having lots of fun reading it but I gotta confess that fun comes mlre from how Meyer wrote Edward closer to a psychopath obsessed with this random girl who is annoyed at her and really wants to kill her LOL.

Like yeah, i know how it ends and everything but turning off my brain about it makes it a very interesting reading. I dont see someone falling in love or even crushing. Just someone who is fixated on a girl because of her smell or how delicious her blood would be.

Does anyone feels the same?

I know it sounds like im the most horrible person but i have my reasons.

We are 31F and 35F and met 10 years ago while being coworkers. We bonded super quickly and became inseparable, she was my anchor my rock and i was there for her for anything. From the two of us however, she has always been more private about her life but even used to tell me how she felt I was an old soul and she was new because life felt overwhelming and it seemed i was coping much better.

She left the country for some years due to her visa expiring but kept in touch everyday. We would have phone calls and would be in contact all the time. Part of the reason she went back was due to pressure from her family and i would encourage her to try and follow her dreams for a bit. She ended up applying for a work visa in Europe and left her home country again.

She had a really hard time over there and hated it. I would be on the phone with her in odd hours to calm her down and tell her she didnt have to face all of this alone. I was constantly there. She then decided to apply again to the country where we met and returned a few months later.

This is when things got very weird as she seemed very traumatized for something that happened. She was constantly crying and very moody. I was always more of the decision maker in our friendship but it suddenly became just me leading everything. She couldnt make a single decision on her own and would basically let me decide for herself. I was the one who found a job for her and new housing. I was very concerned why she was so sad about and even suspected SA or something along the lines but she has always told me nothing like that happened, just things didn’t work out.

Well this has been like this for 3 years and barely anything has changed. I have gently asked her to see a therapist and explained depression is not something to be ashamed of (I am medicated for it myself) but refuses mental health. She only complains about her life and how unfair everything is ( for example the guy she had a crush on never made a move on her but she refused to talk to him first…). Anytime i ask her how she is doing or what is bothering her she immediately shut down and tells me she doesnt want to talk about it. Basically i just talk about myself at this point because she never says anything about her life. Our hangout became more of sob parties and i do have my fair share of issues and it felt i was being strong for the two of us and became too much.

I know she has other friends? But never says anything about them. She also refused ro make future plans for years and until the last minute she changed her mind and decided to stay in the country we are but now its useless and theres nothing to do. She again blames the universe for this.

I realized that unfortunately, my friend, someone who I considered my best friend is someone who drags me down. I accepted it on a trip we did recently where she pretty much was silent all the time and moody. She would not wait for me and if i didnt talk first she would never initiate a conversation. She was emotional at times but refused to open up and would just hide. I just gave up on trying ti reach out after three years. It was too much.

She is leaving soon and unfortunately i feel our relationship will be done after that.

I am a baby psychic (still developing and understanding what happens and discerning from my anxiety and overthinking lol) and there is someone in particular i am very connected to, one however I recently learned about it. Which is I can “feel” their presence in the city. I knew they were moving away and while i was sad I didnt think too much about it, took a trip abroad and when i came back they were gone but the moment i landed back i felt this “hole”.

Not trying to be super dramatic but it just feels “off”. Like the place is cold and is missing something and i am trying hard to not sound over the top but genuinely feels like something is no longer here. Then I learned they had moved a day before I came back.

I believe i am extremely in tune to how i “feel” things and this is something I definitely did not make up. When i met this person was also the first time i felt the city i was in was “home” after living here for 12 years and never feeling that (was desperate to leave). And i do not mean it in a romantic fairytale way, it really felt like that. Like a puzzle piece finally fit in and that feeling was gone when they moved away. 🥴

Hopefully this makes sense im just curious if it happens to others and what is their relationship with them?

I am a baby psychic (still developing and understanding what happens and discerning from my anxiety and overthinking lol) and there is someone in particular i am very connected to, one however I recently learned about it. Which is I can “feel” their presence in the city. I knew they were moving away and while i was sad I didnt think too much about it, took a trip abroad and when i came back they were gone but the moment i landed back i felt this “hole”.

Not trying to be super dramatic but it just feels “off”. Like the place is cold and is missing something and i am trying hard to not sound over the top but genuinely feels like something is no longer here. Then I learned they had moved a day before I came back.

I believe i am extremely in tune to how i “feel” things and this is something I definitely did not make up. When i met this person was also the first time i felt the city i was in was “home” after living here for 12 years and never feeling that (was desperate to leave). And i do not mean it in a romantic fairytale way, it really felt like that. Like a puzzle piece finally fit in and that feeling was gone when they moved away. 🥴

Hopefully this makes sense im just curious if it happens to others and what is their relationship with them?

Simply curious. I am not filipina but I have a filipino friend who i met a few years ago and has been “dating” this filipina girl for almost a decade since he was 18 years old or so. They met in college and like 3 years ago he moved away to try and make a living abroad.

However from what I have seen the relationship is very on and off and volatile (kinda wanna say abusive…) but everytime it gets mentioned my friends says “its not that simple” and from what I see the girl is very close to his family.

I know the girl has asked him to get marry multiple times but he has declined always lol and always makes an excuse to not bring her to the country because “he doesnt want her to rely on him”. It does seems from my POV my friend isnt happy but I struggling trying to see why he simply doesnt break up until I saw all his family is very attached to her.

I know the Philippines is a very traditional country so I wonder if after a certain point its just expected for men to marry the girl that is the most accepted by the family? Or the family has a lot to say on this?

Suzaku is not even my favourite character (Lelouch is lol but Suzaku is close second) and even when I first watched the series back in 2008 I never understood the absolute hate he got, growing up I just got to see him as a character that deeply reflected how an actual 18 year old could deal with the severe trauma he went thru in his younger years.

Obviously Suzaku is a direct foil to Lelouch but I believe people get lost in him being a “hypocrite”. Thats part of the charm, guys. Code Geass works because its an over the top tragedy, each character is more of a representation of an ideal rather than a heavily layered one (aside from probably just Kallen) including Lelouch but as he is the MC we get to see how he actually reacts to the mental toll of his actions but still, decides to have this Maquiavelan way to his his goals.

This is where Suzaku to me has the most humane approach to the entire series. He is written as a kid who murders his father in order to prevent a bigger massacre, without realizing the settlement of Japan would bring misery as well. The weight of his actions in that moment fractured his own sense of morality and self. He carries the deep burden and guilt of not only killing his father but also being indirectly/directly responsible of the fall of his people. In his mind theres only one way to atone which is to try and minimize the most amount of damage possible, aka try and be part of Britannia in some way to better Japan and his people.

Regardless, it is obvious this is also more of an excuse to keep on living as we realize from episode 1 he is deeply suicidal. He will gladly sacrifice himself in any given moment for anyone as sees his own life as not worth living. He carries a deep suicidal ideation to every decision he takes, thats why he is the first in action most of the times, in case he can actually die consciously or not.

That is why the Geass placed by Lelouch is so cruel to him, he can no longer atone in the way he felt was the best, with his life.

In R2 it kinda becomes weird lol but IMO still makes sense how Suzaku progressed. At that point everything he knew was over and realized his action and idealizations didnt meant a thing (Euphemia’s dream). He becomes ruthless but also because vengeance becomes more of his driving force rather than suicidal ideation.

Open to discussion but yeah those are my two cents ✌️

I know it may sound i am not but she just moved in, april 20 however the dinning table has been covered with stuff like tupperware, kitchen stuff, oils, etc. we also already had a rice cooker and air fryer plus other kitchen utensils and she bought new ones which is fine but now the kitchen is overcrowded.

The living room is also full of her stuff like toilet paper, pillows, clothes and lots of boxes full of shoes i presume.

I share a bathroom with her and again, things got overcrowded too.

Now i dont know how to address this neither I am sure if im reasonable because its only been 2 weeks but tbh instead of seeing less things i see more everyday. I also dont want to create tension but i find ridiculous how overcrowded everything is. I dont wanna be that roommate.

TLDR: new roommate moved in two weeks ago, her stuff is still all over the common areas. I dont know how to bring it up without creating tension.