Mis gustos musicales me están jodiendo la vida social?

no todos en España escuchan regueton o flamenco pop, lo sé. Ya sé que hay gente que escucha música mas alternativa y tal, pero por alguna razón siempre he sentido que mis gustos musicales son rechazados por los demás. No es por sonar rollo intenso ni "emo", pero es la realidad.

Vivo en Murcia y estoy rodeado de gente que no tolera música melancólica ni lo más mínimo. Ya no es que solo escuchen regueton, no es eso. Conozco gente que por ejemplo gusta de rock y metal pero eso se resume a bandas como Queen y Green Day (me gusta Green Day pero no me apasionan), es decir, que pegan o pegaron fuerte en la radio y que tienden a tener canciones mas positivas. Yo soy muy de música oscurilla y alternativa, por poner ejemplo mis grupos favoritos son Cold y Never Easy.

Puedo tolerar lo urbano y fiestero cuando el contexto lo requiere (ej: en una fiesta) pero en casa me gusta oir lo que a mi me va: voces melancólicas, medios tiempos, guitarras electricas, batería, ese rollo. La gente tiene muy mal concepto de mí, que "si no me reciclo, que si soy un llorón, que si transmito negatividad, que tengo que follar muy poco con ese estilo" etc... Yo que sé, me harta un poco.

Mi pregunta es: ¿debería forzarme a escuchar lo que escuchan los demás y dejar lo contracultural para que la gente pueda sentirse más comoda conmigo?

Me parecería muy dificil hacerlo así pero de verdad que estaría dispuesto.

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u/kikov666_ — 6 hours ago

how would you rate each year (or decade/group of years) of your life? I have a fixation on decadeology)

I (28M) I was born in 1998. Here's how I'd rate (0 to 10) my life divided on years.

-From 1998 to 2002: I can't rate because I have some random memories, but I wasn't aware for the most part. Some issues were running on my family (like my parents divorcing) but I was too young to care...

-2003: This was the year I started to retain memories. I was a precocious kid, very good at reading and speaking. Everything was funny to me back then: Kindergarten, Cartoon Network and Fox Kids binges, playing most of the time. My life wasn't perfect but I was very happy. 8/10

-2004: This year was even better, it was the year I started to collect DVD movies and I remember watching a lot of cool movies at the cinema (Catwoman, Scooby Doo 2, Van Helsing, Spiderman 2...). I started elementary school back then but what was relevant for me is the amount of cool movies and TV shows I binged. 9/10

-2005 to 2006: Worse than before, I started to be a victim of bullying at school, and was the years I started to go to therapy. I received my asperger diagnosis back then. One of my cousins died in a motorbike accident which affected all my family. My siblings were born in 2005, and my stepdad was very aggresive to me. Bleak years, TV and movies were the best part. 4/10

-2007: I attended a new school. Change was for the better because my new classmates were very nice. Was a funny year, but not perfect because I had to stand my mom and my stepdad arguing in my home. I loved going to school... 6/10

-2008 to 2010: Terrible years. I got overweight because of risperdal. My mom had to sue my stepdad in 2008. My grades droppes in 2009, and I stopped feeling at the new school in 2010. 2/10

-2011 and 2012: Well, I was a 13-14 teen. It was the cool thing, I had the first crush in my life, I and I developed an interest in alternative music. I also got in a better shape. Bad things were: my grades. 5/10

-2013 to 2018: Awful. From 2013 to 2014 I got great grades, but I had to deal with bullying again. I stopped going out for a long period due to social anxiety. In 2016 I lost all my friends forever. 1/10

-2019: Good year because I stopped taking meds so I got very skinny, which made me feel more confortable with my body. I overcame my social anxiety and I could hang out again. But I was unemployed and not studying. 6/10

-2020 to 2023: Terrifying. I got institutionalized in 2020 due to a mental breakdown. Also in 2021 and 2022. I was violent and I got arrested many times. I regret nowadays but I guess it was my mental illness' fault. 2023 was the year I had to recover slowly. 1/10

-2024: Was a bit sad, but better than before. I was fully recovered and I could study again, I started a telecommunications vocational training course, I met cool classmates and everything felt a bit more chill. 6/10

-2025: I left vocational training because I got my first job ever (CNA). Which made me feel very useful and I earned money. Felt like a very stable year. 7/10.

Sorry for making this post so long xddd. If you wanna try it yourself I swear I'll read you all :)

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u/kikov666_ — 10 hours ago

I'm sick of being lethargic.

I (28M) used to be very energetic when I was a young boy. As a kid I was very enthusiastic, very curious and open about everything. I lived at full and I can't complain about my childhood. It was during my teens when I became lethargic forever. Always tired, with dead eyes, always giving sad vibes... I've noticed many people on the spectrum is lethargic too, but in my case it started on my teens, otherwise I was a very lively before my teens.

That's why I refuse to believe it's due to autism. Do you relate?

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u/kikov666_ — 1 day ago

Is it possible that I still experience random psychotic breaks?

I'm autistic. I experienced brief psychotic disorder in 2020 and got institutionalized. I've been three times in mental institutions. I have had sleep issues since I was a boy...

Since 2020 to these days I've been experiencing moments where I loose my grip. I turn angry because of my internal brainstorm, and I start to act aggressive. I start to think obsessively and I express by violence. I don't know if that can be called a mood swing, a personality disturbance... however, I've come to the conclusion that it could be psychosis. I'm not psychotic 24/7 but almost everyday I experience a moment where I became another person, and it tends to last less than 30 minutes.

I'm also prone to verbal suicidal thoughts, and I have a lot of self-doubt. Ex: I experience a lot of love toward god, and when I stop feeling "euphoric" I became a total atheist because everything sucks for me....

P.S: I'm not taking the pills since 2023 because I don't want to get chubby

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u/kikov666_ — 6 days ago

¿Conocer parejas con diferencia de edad por internet es mala idea?

Mirad soy un hombre de 28 años, bisexual aunque solo he tenido relaciones con hombres. Siempre ligo por internet, nunca en la calle ya que soy un poco raro, me gusta conocer gente poco sociable. La cosa es que ya no aguanto a los tios (gays) de mi edad porque tienen estandares muy altos, así que prefiero comocer hombres mayores que yo. Hoy he conocido a un tio que tiene 46, es bombero y es gay. Yo le he gustado y es reciproco.

Vive en un municipio que está al lado del mío (a unos km) y digamos que estoy dispuesto a conocerle aunque solo sea por hacer lo mas basico (no quiero dar detalles). Lo que pueda surgir mas tarde estaría por ver...

Pero reconozco que soy muy impulsivo y que en el pasado me he visto en situaciones turbias. Entonces, ¿el conocer a gente por internet lo desaconsejáis? ¿la diferencia de edad es preocupante?

A mi personalmente lo que mas me preocupa es lo que pueda pensar mi familia si se enteran (ellos nisiquiera saben que soy parte del colectivo)

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u/kikov666_ — 8 days ago

I want to start a secret relationship with an older man. Is it a bad idea?

I (28M) am closeted to my family. I am very needy of a monogamous relationship and I've been rejected by most of the gays my age I've met. Older men, on the other hand, are more affectionate and attracted to me. And I personally love men from 35 to 50 years old, but I've only dated guys from 30 to below.

Well, I've been talking online to a man that is 46 years old. I find him very attractive and seems to have an stable lifestyle (he is a firefighter). We've not met in real life yet, but we want to meet each other because we live close.

I want to meet him, and have sex with him, and maybe start a friendly relationship with him if things go correctly. I'm very afraid my parents discover it though.

I mean, my parents can't stop me from hanging out with the people I want to, but as a closeted gay man that only met men secretly, I'd be very ashamed if my family find me having an affair with a man that is 19 years older than me.

Any advice?

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u/kikov666_ — 8 days ago

Is genuine romance between two men in real life possible?

I see a lot of gay couples in fiction, most of them are all about how sexy they are together. In real life it is even more exaggerated because I've never met a gay or bisexual man that wants affection from another man. In fact, most of the ones i've met have terrible daddy issues and resent men in general.

I'm (28M) sick of grindr and hookup culture, and I wonder if I can meet a man that is genuine and sincere. Grindr is full of guys that claim to be looking for a partner, but that's only an strategy to sound interesting and match faster, then they dissapear after sex.

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u/kikov666_ — 11 days ago

Como se hacen amistades de nuevo a los 28 años?

Soy un hombre de 28 años. Sufro de soledad no deseada, porque no tengo ninguna amistad. Solo a mi familia y a algún que otro conocido pero a nadie de confianza. Es mi situación desde los 15 años mas o menos, porque he tenido desajustes mentales que me han hecho aislarme (a parte de que sufrí bullying).

Me refiero a que tengo autismo leve (asperger) pero también rasgos de TLP. Tuve un episodio psicótico breve en 2020 y me han ingresado tres veces (la última en 2022). A día de hoy estoy más estable que hace tiempo, exceptuando algunos díaa que siento que toco fondo. Siento que es hora de salir de mi zona de confort y hacer amigos otra vez. No quiero seguir así de solo, me va a deteriorar mucho.

Pregunto en este subreddit porque soy de España (concretamente murciano) y necesito un poco de guía. ¿que puedo hacer? ¿Creeis que soy un caso perdido? Estuve buscando información de asociaciones para gente con problemas de salud mental (y que sean para un perfil similar al mío), y veo que en Murcia existe Aspermur que es para autismo. Es una mierda porque cobran un montón.

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u/kikov666_ — 13 days ago

I became a christian due to Flyleaf and I'm ashamed of it.

I left christianity since a year more or less. The point is: I never received a christian education. When I was a young boy I was secular, enjoying the typical kids' stuff like Pokemon.

At age 15 I discovered a christian rock band called Flyleaf. I became obsessed about them because of 2 reasons: their sound, and Lacey Sturm's biography (she is Flyleaf's vocalist).

What inspired me about Lacey is that she attempted suicide at age 16 prior her conversion to christianity. That resonated with me because I experienced a severe depression at age 14 with suicidal thoughts. Listening to Lacey made me see christians as more open minded than ever, for the first time in my life I thought being a christian is edgy and inspirational. I remember crying with Flyleaf's All Around Me and other songs like Circle, Treasure and Much Like Falling.

However, everything ended the day I opened a bible for the first time. I also had a bitter experience in a confessional. I noticed how numb priests are, they don't understand human suffering at all, they are just making a stupid bussiness.

I realized becoming a christian just because it can look cool at some point is delusional and it only gives you dissapointments. Christianity is just a tradition, there's nothing really moving on it and 99% of christians are just following a trend. It's like being emo or punk, a subculture.

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u/kikov666_ — 13 days ago

I'm better off alone

I (28M) have no friends since year 2012. I was 14 in 2012, and since I had to repeat octave grade, I lost contact with my classmates. In fact, I even fell depressed, reaching the bottom everyday.

Because of that, I've been making a lot of efforts to meet new friends later in life. Now I'm tired, I've realised it's not that bad to be friendless. I've been pressuring myself to do what "normal adults do", but it's enough. I'm super confortable working from 8 to 2, doing running alone at the evening, playing videogames in my sweet home. Why do I'd meet friends these days? Was I looking for drama or what? jajaja

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u/kikov666_ — 15 days ago
▲ 2 r/Ayuda_emocional+1 crossposts

Siento mucha desconfianza hacia mi padre

Soy un hombre de 28 años y mi padre tiene 64 años. Mis padres están divorciados desde que yo era bebé. Vivo con mi madre visitando a mi padre algunos fines de semana.

Toda mi vida he sentido desapego hacia mi padre. Y no es solo porque apenas nos hayamos visto. Es porque mi padre me ha mentido mucho, cuando le visitaba él me mimaba pero era una manera de tenerme tranquilo para poder vivir su doble vida. Mi padre ha tenido muchos vicios: casinos, porno, tabaco (llegó a tener un infarto), alcohol. Además de ser un completo desastre, muy desordenado, olvidadizo y negligente.

Y aunque yo no fumo ni bebo, me parezco a él en todo lo demás. Soy un completo desastre con tendencia a otro tipo de vicios, y aunque odio admitirlo, me parezco muchisimo a mi padre. Lo que nos diferencia es que él es muy falso, trata de quedar bien ante los demás aunque tenga que mentir, yo por otro lado soy pasota y honesto.

Toda mi vida, a pesar de parecerme a mi padre, he sentido desapego y desconfianza hacia él. He fantaseado incluso que él no es realmente mi padre y que mi padre real es otro (lo cual es imposible porque tenemos un parecido facial razonable).

Quiero vencer los daddy issues y dejar de anhelar a un mentor en mi vida, ya soy mayor para este tipo de cosas. Pero es una herida que tengo. Lo que quiero es poder vencer este resentimiento, poder mirar a mi padre a los ojos con naturalidad.

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u/kikov666_ — 16 days ago

Am I homophobic if I dislike stereotypically gay accent?

I (28M) am gay and despite I'm not the most masculine guy over here, my speech is 100% straight-passing. People struggle to believe I'm gay at times, because my voice pitch and expression is similar to straight men's. It's involuntary, but I can't deny I tend to force it, because is something I'm very confortable with.

And even though I respect all gay stereotypes, I tend to feel unattracted to the stereotypical gay accent (high pitched, high affectivity, lisp, etc). In fact, I'm more attracted to men that sound and behave traditionally masculine, it's what I pay more attention to. Body shape, haircut and facial features are not so important to me.

My gay friends think I'm homophobic because of this. My gays friends are, for the most part, very into fashion and they tend to speak in that gay accent I mentioned. I think they are cool but as I said I prefer an average Joe and according to them that's homophobia.

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u/kikov666_ — 26 days ago

I see a lot of the Gen Z thinking christianity is cool and I can't believe it

In my country (Spain) christianity is on the rise. It is a small change, but still a change. Due to the increase of latin american inmigration, evangelical churches are increasing. And spanish youth, specially right wingers, are embracing christian expressions (ex: "God is love", "God is with us", etc).

Just think about Rosalia's newest album (Lux)

A good part of youth think christianity is cool and exotic. That's because they were raised in socially liberal enviroments so they see woke stuff as oppresion. As a 28 years old man that were raised in a considerably catholic family, I still perceive religions to be against freedom. The more religious a place is, the less liberal it is.

What do you think? Do you think it will last for a lot of years?

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u/kikov666_ — 27 days ago
▲ 1 r/family

I come from a big and united family and I don't like it.

I (28M) have a lot of cousins (12), and plenty of second cousins. And two half-siblings from my mother's side (my parents got divorced when I was very young).

My family is big, and we have always been connected each other. It sounds like a perfect portrait, but I dislike it because my family is not supportive at all. There is a lot of envy, constant comparison between my cousins and I (and between them), rumours, even cheating... And it hurts because we are expected to be faithful to each other. I definitely prefer a neglectful family, where individualism rules.

Family meetings are painful to me. When I was a kid I found playing with my cousins to be funny, but now I don't even feel nostalgia.

I don't owe anything to my relatives, I don't even feel a hurry to be a father. I'll have children when I can, it's not a problem if I'll be childless at 45+. And, what if I never have kids?

That's all. Some people wish they had a big family, but I have it and I don't like it.

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u/kikov666_ — 28 days ago

As a gay man, I admire lesbians

There are a lot of things I feel lesbians do better than gay men. Gay community is full of exclusion, and is sad. Gays are constantly mocking each other because of their looks, or their gender expressions, or whatever. Gays can be very racist at times and, they rarely stay monogamous.

I wish the gays were a bit more like lesbians are: not so focused on looks, more emotionally sincere between each other, less obsessed about gender expression, more inclusive, etc.

You lesbians are not perfect (nobody is after all) but we gays have a lot to learn about you all.

P.S: of course I like being gay and I don't think all gays are the same, but I know what I'm talking about.

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u/kikov666_ — 29 days ago