u/kimmyfreak500

This post contains spoilers.

I don't really remember too many comic book reads as a kid but I think I read a few. I'm a huge fan of The gothic masterpiece movie THE CROW and I always wanted to read it and two nights ago, I read it. It took me 4 hours. I knew it'd be dark, but it touched my soul on so many levels.

I really dug the poetry, the lyrics, the images, and how Eric speaks in ominous poetry before a kill. I really enjoyed Tom Tom's death for some reason. Cutting his lower legs off and as he lay bleeding to death he spoke to him and taunted him.

I also just learned that James O'Barr's own fiance was killed by a drunk driver and this was a way to vent his trauma. This was a very emotional story and the beauty I was able to see in such a dark story including the drawings of Eric's face and eyes and Shelly. Chef kiss.

The murder part in the comic was very realistic. I study Criminology and I felt like I was reading a real case. It wasn't overly embellished, cheesy, over the top. It's the type of horrible human behavior I often see in case studies especially when sadism is involved. Being cruel just for the sake of being cruel. It's too familiar.

My favorite lines: "We do not recognize our souls until they are in pain." The quote stems from his personal realization that deep anguish uncovers the true depth of our capacity to feel, love, and exist. In essence, it suggests our spirit is only truly awakened when we are pushed to the absolute edge of our endurance. Just like James being able to write such a story. It would not be possible without having experienced immense pain.

"Are the bones of your sins sharp enough to cut through your own excuses"? It is a stark challenge to accountability, demanding to know if the painful consequences of a person's past wrongdoings are severe enough to finally shatter the self-deceptions they use to justify their behavior. I see this all the time in crime. The minimizing, downplaying, and rationalization. In criminology and psychology, this is known as a cognitive distortion. Offenders often use rationalizations like "victim-blaming" ("they were asking for it") to alleviate any guilt and justify their actions. Many repeat offenders maintain a distorted sense of entitlement, failing to see their actions as immoral. This is why fun-boy's death is also a favorite of mine. I appreciate when murderers admit what they are. He admitted to being a monster. "I can't say why I done the shit I done. I could say I was sorry but I aint. I'm a monster, burning from the inside. Obedience is submission veiled with gravity. I don't let anything define or limit me." I think that's the best quote by a psychopath that I've ever read. I love that Eric forces Funboy to stare into the mirror and confront the gravity of his crimes, even with his absent remorse.

And last. The most relatable quote. Anyone that has experienced a lot of trauma will relate. "Pain? I know pain at the molecular level... It pulls at my atoms... Sings to me in an alphabet of fear." This quote encapsulates the mental and emotional prison of loss and it's anguish. The endless PTSD flashbacks that never truly go away. Another thing Eric experiences is even when he thinks of a good memory, the bad memories come crashing like a tidal wave. This is the best description of both depression and PTSD. I can barely look at my own photo albums cuz I had flashbacks that ruin my joy. And his injection of morphine as well. Any escape from the agony, loneliness, isolation, and despair. The cat Gabriel (the name of the arch angel) represented his anchor to his humanity and innocence and strong sense of family. And also the child Sherri represented his empathy for those who suffer, and the fact her name rhymed with Shelly who he was not able to save so he has a second chance to help her.

I only saw one comment online that was negative about this comic. The person said the book is a bit pretentious. I disagree. Some people fail to elate to material if they've never been through anything like loss and a descent into mental and emotional darkness. It'd be like explaining the effects of drug addiction to someone that's never experienced anything drug related in their life. I also watched The Crow 2024 a few days ago. Not nearly as bad as everyone says! And on a movie scene on youtube one other person said this was a shitty comic. I don't know how anyone can think this.

"I thought it’d be a catharsis if I could channel all this anger and frustration onto paper. And it turned out the exact opposite....every page became a little death"

~James O’Barr

Bonus link (I liked this Crow tribute video someone made because it shows pages from the Comic)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkyoxiJERik&list=RDtkyoxiJERik&start_radio=1

Thanks for reading and feel free to share your thoughts or fav poems or lines below!

I recommend Stay from 2005. I feel like Ryan Gosling was Oscar worthy in this film to be honest. It's a trippy film that you have to re-watch more than once. I also geeked out over youtube edits that showed details I myself missed. I made a post about this film but it'd be huge spoilers. I might do another reddit post for that one because this topic has always absolutely fascinated me. This film is very misunderstood.

Naomi Watts shined in this too.

I miss the 90s when they'd have a strong opening scene. I love 90s thriller COPYCAT's first scene with the introduction to Daryl Lee Cullum. He is a believable psychopath and there is just something about the maniacalness and accent, similar to Wild Bill in Green Mile. Other movies with a great opening credits: Bram Stoker's Dracula, Se7en, Blade 2 when J goes to blood bank "Vampires. I hate Vampires" And another one is Red Dragon. Fun fact for Dracula: the scene when he stabs the cross and screams, is a vocal from a Slayer song.

What's one of your favourite opening scenes as far as intensity and being sucked right in?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYNo3sGkYGs

I'd like to discuss the subject of Ricky Rodriguez from Children of god cult. I had seen his home video he made for friends before his death listed in many youtube videos as one of the most disturbing videos. I personally am not disturbed by it. It made me feel empathy for him. In fact, he had enormous empathy for others. He was just so lost and didn't get the help he needed in time. I have watched it a few times for Psychology and Criminology. There are many documentaries about the cult and he had a blog online which I was not able to read much due to how graphic it was. Watching his video and hearing his thoughts on his childhood where he was practically human trafficked and with all of his good traits it makes me sad that he went down that path. I understand, but I don't condone what he did. All of his rage were normal thoughts but I wish he had gotten the help he needed in time. A documentary actually called him before his death, and he says he couldn't talk about it and had moved on from it all and this couldn't have been further from the truth. It's upsetting the perpetrators never faced justice and were never charged. This was a massive highly organized pedophile cult that were all over globally. I just hope Ricky found peace. I've seen other survivors of the cult online and they are in my thoughts and prayers. Support is very important.

There is a part in his video when his facial expressions change as he talks about the abusers and you can see the rage, and he changes the subject. His old blogs were mostly about what the little girls went through. That bothered him immensely.

Not all people who kill are psychopaths. This was likely mental health and trauma related. Experts will tell you this. He experienced remorse after the crime. He seemed to be more bothered by his sisters abuse than his own. What are your thoughts on him? My gut feeling is telling me he isolated himself for too long and the trauma from his past is what broke him. Support groups can help. The only problem is not many can relate to what he went through. I only met one person in my entire life that was part of a cult that committed this type of abuse toward children. After the murder, he told his sister that he realized his abuser had likely been a victim herself. She didn't understand the gravity of her actions.

In his home video he said "I can't find the smelling salts... I can't wake up" Reminds me of the profound song FORGET TO REMEMBER by Mudvayne about PTSD and the psychological torment of intrusive trauma, repressed memories, and the inability to escape painful past experience. The mental and emotional prison that houses these monstrous memories and it's cruel endless cycles that never go away.. It's a living nightmare. It can sometimes cause festering rage. The lyric "surrender to the shadows" and the part about becoming a machine and to be saved from yourself. Makes me think of the comic The Crow, had a similar line about trauma causing emptiness, and having nowhere to go but to darkness. "Burn" by The Cure that was written for 1994 The Crow, although not about childhood trauma, The song explores a mix of consuming sorrow, fury, and a tortured, relentless obsession with the destructive nature of vengeance. The titular "burn" represents both the relentless agony and fiery anger and the inescapable anguish of it. "Every night I burn" is a great metaphor for this. I just read the comic book the other night for the first time.

"I’m writing this article in a very beautiful park down at the waterfront. It’s a picture perfect day; the sky is deep blue; there are white puffy clouds in the sky. I can see Mt. Rainier in the distance, and its majestic beauty is stunning. There’s a young couple nearby, walking with their twins. The twins are dressed the same--no shirts, with cover-alls, and baseball hats. Seeing kids with normal, loving parents who really seem to care about them is a bitter-sweet experience for me. On one hand it hurts because I’m reminded of the stark contrast between parents who most likely want what’s best for their kids, and the kind of parents I had, who were really only concerned about my welfare as far as they could use me for a favorable political commodity. On the other hand it brings me such joy to see kids like these little twins running around, because I am so thankful that they have a good shot at happiness and success in life. They have a loving, caring family to stand behind them, and don’t have to struggle with the horrible memories and abuse that many of us who grew up in the Family do. It gives me hope that one day Berg and Maria’s evil legacy with die with the Family, and it will be only a distant or, better yet, forgotten bad memory."

~Ricky Rodriguez

I loved his battle scenes. He fought like a beast and with great honor.

Dead Again is one of my all time fav movies. Did you anticipate the ending? Please be honest. Did you know the antique guy was Frankie??

They made it more difficult to guess due to the accent change.

I saw a film that may be an inspiration for Good Will Hunting called ORDINARY PEOPLE 1980. The doctors dress the same too in both films hehe. Skip it's trailer it does not do that film justice. I personally love both films but Ordinary People has a special place in my heart from the vulnerability value alone. I'd think I'd avoid films like that due to my own trauma but I like realism even if it hurts. It was Timothy Hutton's first major feature film. This breakout performance won him the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor, making him the youngest person ever to win in that category.

Name a movie scene that will always be funny to you no matter how much time has passed.

As a ankle biting rug rat, back to the beach was a movie my brother and I loved to make fun of in the 1980s. Bobby is actually funnier to me as an adult than when I was a kid. Here is a scene that's classic:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GN6sxpIGeGI

An absolute CHEESE FEST. Lol. What else do you remember? Any other weird movies you watched as a kid and how do you feel watching them as an adult? Are there any films you loved as a kid but you saw as an adult and CRINGED at? There are a few I can't watch anymore. Also what movie scared you as a kid despite it not really being a horror film.

My mom died when I was a young teenager and I've been blessed with a photographic memory and I can remember every time she laughed at a movie scene or a tv show episode like Tales from the crypt. Her laugh was so wholesome and contagious. She'd sometimes laugh so hard her eyes would tear up and I must have inherited that as it happens to me too, lol.

I randomly found this track and I've listened to this like 20 times in a row speeding around on my bike like a speed demon. This band apparently switched vocalists from this young woman to a male. I do not know her name. I'd like to find if she ever did any other music besides this. I love her scream vocals. There isn't even lyrics for it. I think she says "She fights for the FIGHT" it's a banger for sure.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tf44EGv1dRA&list=RDtf44EGv1dRA&start_radio=1

I really loved the action film UPGRADE. It's unusual, very dark, and very deep sci fi action thriller. Contrary to popular belief, the ending is actually perfect.

If you've seen the movie, check out this awesome tribute I saw for fans of this film. Obviously it contains spoilers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymlLqQWrlHE

My main question for you is: did you hate the ending? Did you find it heartbreaking? I've since changed my opinion on the ending. It reminds me of the ending to Shutter Island when Andrew says "tell me...Which would be worse: to live as a monster, or to die as a good man?" He was a completely broken man, and knowing the truth was the last straw. His wife was gone, and the revenge satisfied until he learned of Stem's true motive. So by taking his will away completely in a way he is dead...so whatever is left of him is stuck in a delusional fake world where he is happy and free of the truth and the loss and the betrayal. I feel that this was actually a happy ending. He isn't there forever, only until Stem manages to get himself killed and the body dies too. That's just my take. The only fact which will always be the tragic part is that Stem was both the perpetrator and the savior. So his wife's killer (the one who orchestrated her death) fully gained control of his mind and body, while setting him free in the end. I took it as, he couldn't just pick a victim who wasn't married to do this to. They needed do create fresh trauma and that way he was emotionally vulnerable and the more times he let Stem have control the weaker he got in regards to fighting for control. Almost like a demon possession. Like the movie NEFARIOUS, which is a very engaging film and Sean Patrick Flannery is oscar worthy in it.. he explains the 5 stages as Extreme Temptation, obsession, infestation, possession, and Full Subjugation. And this is achieved after a series of "yeses" that grant the demon increasing rights to the victim, ultimately stripping away their free will. Anyway, fantastic unforgettable movie.