u/knbob21304

p/s: I don't know how she can sit without a chair

It's unbelievable that I only found out its true purpose in part 2 😭😢💔

No one can beat me

Hello everybody,

This is my first time posting here after a long time of silently lurking and reading everyone’s stories. Honestly, I am ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE at writing, and I feel quite embarrassed to be typing this out. But if you are spending a bit of your time to read this, I truly appreciate it.

I live in Asia, and my parents are just like most traditional parents here: they always see video games as the enemy that sucks away their children's time. I still vividly remember the first time I ever touched a video game. It was a 2004 version of Mario running on a bizarre disc-reading machine with an antenna and a top-loading lid in the middle (I don't even remember the brand). My dad bought it so he could watch TV and listen to the radio, and it came with a CD containing 150 games (only much later when I grew up did I realize it was a bootleg disc, because back then, the concept of copyrighted games was non-existent in my country). I was about 6 years old. My dad tried it first, and then I got to touch it. At that exact moment, I knew video games were everything to me.

The years that followed were pretty normal, except that I started frequenting net cafes. It drove my parents crazy. You know Asian parents, they literally discipline their children with corporal punishment. Things took a sharp turn in 2013 when my family went bankrupt. I was only 10 years old, and they even considered pulling me out of school. Fortunately, that didn't happen, but my love for gaming at that time seemed to have been forced shut by the harsh reality of making ends meet.

A few years passed with nothing special until I took my college entrance exams. That was a major turning point. My friend at the time had two Epic Games accounts containing Borderlands 2, and I borrowed my mom's laptop back then to play it. Right at that moment, something inside me came back to life. That same year, I created my own Steam account. The first game I ever bought with my own money was Borderlands 3 (I didn't have much money, so when I had to choose between part 2 and part 3, I decided to buy the newer one).

Then, I made a bold decision: applying to an Art school. Even though I had given up on my dream before, I had still been secretly drawing a lot. Once I registered, I practiced like crazy for 3 months, and against all odds, I actually passed (though now I have taken down all of my drawings for personal reasons that I might share later). As soon as my parents heard the news, they tried everything to stop me. I ended up lying to them, saying I had failed. Instead, by some miracle, they agreed to let me study Graphic Design.

At that time, my parents bought me a laptop. I thought that from then on, I would finally be able to play the games I liked. But then I realized I had no money. I started building my own Steam library by saving as much as humanly possible: no new clothes, no going out, no expensive eating. Thanks to that, I’ve managed to accumulate a decent collection by now, though they are all cozy games because they are cheap. Later on, since my school didn't have a game development track, I switched to Interior Design and graduated with an Excellent degree. But it was from this point on that everything started to turn bleak.

Right after graduation, I was lucky enough to land a job at a well-known company. But that was when I hit my own limits. I have autism and depression. Yes, you heard that right. Because I had spent a long period of time just shutting myself indoors and rarely interacting with people, the toxic work environment there gave me a massive shock. I quit, moved to another place, but my mental health didn't get any better, and that stagnant state has dragged on until now. The only bright spot during my working days was that I managed to buy myself a very good PC and save up a tiny bit of money.

Now, I am staying at home and being called a NEET by everyone around me since I don't have a job. To be completely honest, I have no friends right now. The friend I mentioned earlier, coincidentally, went to the same university as me but studied Programming. We used to play together in a group and had a lot of fun. But at the end of last June, he changed, we had a huge argument, and we cut ties. Now I just play alone. I find it extremely difficult to make new friends, so just to save face, I always pretend to him that I’m playing with a new group of friends.

Many times I ask myself where I went wrong. I am completely lost about my life, and gaming is the only anchor keeping me grounded to reality. I refuse to touch the tiny bit of savings I have left (if you are curious, it's just enough to buy a used Steam Deck). I don't want to spend it on games, because to me, that money represents hope and my plan to rebuild my life later.

I am still living with my parents. Luckily, they somewhat understand my condition (in my country, if it's not a physical illness, people don't consider it serious, and honestly, I used to think that way too). The games I get recently are mostly from selling weapon cases that drop weekly from CS2. I actually wrote down these thoughts yesterday, on Wednesday, the exact day items drop to be sold, and the day I looked at myself and realized how trash I am. But it wasn't until this Thursday morning that I felt like I should actually share my story here.

At the end of this vent, if you have actually read this far, I don't even know how to describe it. I’m sure you can picture what kind of person I am. To be honest, I don't know what kind of people are behind the screen, those who care about posts like this, or those who generously gift games to strangers, because here, I only get to read stories from one side.

And please, don't advise me to "go outside more" or tell me to post this on mental health counseling boards. I feel like those advices sound like programmed bots, and they really don't work for me.

Thank you for listening. And if anyone has patiently read until this very line: I wrote the title as a filter, I honestly just want the game How to Say Goodbye. Or, if you are truly, truly, truly generous and want to grant me a miracle, I would be overjoyed and deeply grateful to receive The Last of Us Part I (I'm pretty straightforward, after all). Otherwise, even if someone just like me happens to pass by and takes the time to listen to this story, I am already very happy.

Wish you all a beautiful day and a happy life!

Steam Profile: https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561199041386926/
Game link: https://store.steampowered.com/app/1888930/The_Last_of_Us_Part_I/

Honestly, a vacation here doesn't sound half bad. No wonder Heartman spends so much time diving into the Beach.

I tried playing RDR2 in 2023 but gave up on Chapter 2 because I felt the open world was too vast and I got lost exploring it. Then, about two weeks ago, I decided to download it again because my friends had started playing it and praised it highly. I replayed it, and guess what? When I reached this scene, I got goosebumps because it was so good. For the past week, I've been playing non-stop, exploring every nook and cranny of the game. It's a fantastic game, worth every GB of storage, and the value it offers far exceeds its price.