All is in the title, English isn’t my first language. Bought him an offering to the last medieval fair but I’m unaware if there are proper ceremonials. There is no forests around my home only public park so I don’t think I could burry something.
I have a space dedicated to nature at home where I gathered some pine cones, branches and chestnuts on the floor.
Do I even have anxiety at all or is it something else ?
I started reading a webcomic yesterday and the two main characters have anxiety which whom many people in the comments relate with them.
My anxiety feels different. I am extremely avoidant because I don’t know how to interact with people which makes me overthink all my words and body language and I can’t go to places because it is too much. However I have very little physical symptoms and almost never panic attacks except in situations of conflicts. Sometimes I can cry at home because overthinking. On internet I am not that avoidant and tend to be active in certain fan communities but I still overthink about saying something wrong and pick up the slightest signs that would mean that everyone hate me. For a time I felt the constant need of reassurance on a discord server which made me become toxic. During this time I could jolt awake overthinking everything I sent on internet and thinking I overshared too much and I often get paranoid and deleted stuffs.
I have diagnosed anxiety and I never worked because of this and I am in therapy.
When I was a student and in job training when I was younger I could sometimes let myself collapse on the ground when I felt overwhelmed by my emotions, but besides this I never felt the walls closing around me neither had physical panic attack except in cases of conflicts.
Do I truly have anxiety or am I just weird, unadapted?
Do I even have anxiety at all or is it something else ?
I started reading a webcomic yesterday and the two main characters have anxiety which whom many people in the comments relate with them.
My anxiety feels different. I am extremely avoidant because I don’t know how to interact with people which makes me overthink all my words and body language and I can’t go to places because it is too much. However I have very little physical symptoms and almost never panic attacks except in situations of conflicts. Sometimes I can cry at home because overthinking. On internet I am not that avoidant and tend to be active in certain fan communities but I still overthink about saying something wrong and pick up the slightest signs that would mean that everyone hate me. For a time I felt the constant need of reassurance on a discord server which made me become toxic. During this time I could jolt awake overthinking everything I sent on internet and thinking I overshared too much and I often get paranoid and deleted stuffs.
I have diagnosed anxiety and I never worked because of this and I am in therapy.
When I was a student and in job training when I was younger I could sometimes let myself collapse on the ground when I felt overwhelmed by my emotions, but besides this I never felt the walls closing around me neither had physical panic attack except in cases of conflicts.
Do I truly have anxiety or am I just weird, unadapted?
I have been passing many time in front of a stand that sell antlers at the medieval fair, and for several years I have been hesitating to get a pair. I live in a city and the only way to access forest is by car, and I don’t have neither want one.
Since I’ve been pondering about this for a long time, today I decided to buy a pair as an offering to Cernunnos, but now, I am tangled.
On a hand, it’s natural, so still better than products of industries we use daily. On another hand, part of me worry about the ethic of this business in hope that not too many animals are killed in a way that is disruptive for balance. And I tried to ask question the last time, but I have social anxiety and didn’t expressed myself very well, and didn’t dare to ask more.
Today, I heard the owner complain about vegans. At this point I was already in the payment process so didn’t dare to refract. But now, I m scared having given money to not so great people. On another hand, there are also vegans who complain on Native American practices, who, ironically, cause a lot less damages than capitalism system, so what do I know ?
Is it an acceptable gift for the antlered god, or did I commit I mistake and risk to upset him ?
First of all, I have suspicions of autism by therapists but I have not yet done all tests so I hope it’s ok that I post here, otherwise, I will remove it.
My own intensity in my interests may not be autistic if autism ends discarded, but since it’s a common pattern in autism, I thought of asking here as maybe people would’ve encountered similar unfortunate experiences.
I just don’t understand. Whenever I talk about my interests, people say that I should also get into others things, sometimes that don’t even have anything in common with my main interests. For example, asking me to play others games than DnD, or things that aren’t even fantasy genre at all. Or read others genres. Some people also made fun of me for being talking again about “the thing” (that was the case with my ex friends). It is as if having more specific interests was considered a sin. Yet, most often, I can’t really control what I get focused into, and I think despite that, I am still more open minded than many people due to my life experience as I am kin to try to understand others.
Because of this, I stopped talking much about my interests.
I just don’t understand why people are so hostile when you have more specific passions.
Sorry if it is vague, my anxiety makes me temper with details by fear to be recognized despite I m not a famous personality and there is very little chance for this to happen. And again if it is rude posting this here I will delete.
Does Elric display any of the traits usually encountered by people with albinism in real life ? Talking about nystagmus and photophobia. He doesn’t seem to have any light sensitivity, mind you I m still on the first book, he could have nystagmus.
Or maybe somehow albinism doesn’t affect Melnibonean the same way as humans ?
I also wonder why is his disease for being so physically weak ?
Be mindful that English is not my first language
My mother is dead and my father lives far and isn’t present. My sister is nearly 7 years younger than me and wouldn’t be able to recall things, I left home when she started middle school, so I don’t really have anyone to testify how I was when I was younger.
I am in a fandom where there are a lot of others neurodivergent people, yet they work in cafe and other places like that.
The few jobs trainings I had in my early 20’s were rather catastrophic. My was needed to be fast while I am slow, I kept forgetting things even with my best efforts, I really struggled with organization and to understand instructions, and the contact wasn’t good either. I also felt in complete burnout very fast.
The only job training I had which went well was a training as a graphic designer since it’s one of the very few things on which I can be very focused, there is no multitask and I wasn’t needed to talk.
I know some NeuroA can manage contact fine and don’t have social anxiety like I do which is something else, but how many manage to work in cafe, and places that require to be fast, organized, understand instructions easily and not be forgetful ?
I am in a fandom where there are a lot of others neurodivergent people, yet they work in cafe and other places like that.
The few jobs trainings I had in my early 20’s were rather catastrophic. My was needed to be fast while I am slow, I kept forgetting things even with my best efforts, I really struggled with organization and to understand instructions, and the contact wasn’t good either. I also felt in complete burnout very fast.
The only job training I had which went well was a training as a graphic designer since it’s one of the very few things on which I can be very focused, there is no multitask and I wasn’t needed to talk.
I know some NeuroA can manage contact fine and don’t have social anxiety like I do which is something else, but how many manage to work in cafe, and places that require to be fast, organized, understand instructions easily and not be forgetful ?
I know she is an awful person, but I can’t help feeling empathy for her.
I wonder if she could even cover up her pustules if she wanted to ?
I noticed her condition became even worse in the end of the show, and I think played part in her bitterness. Poor thing.
I hate it so much. I am aware to be privileged being of european descent living in Europe, but whenever I hear racist slurs or racist “humors” it makes me actually freeze, my heart jolts as if it was addressed to me. This as well as lgbtphobic and others form of bigotry passed as “jokes” too but there I am more personally concerned. It’s to the point that I can’t work (also because social anxiety) because it disgusts me too much and I can’t handle it. I never dared talking about it before because I don’t want to be appropriating others problems and be a “w savior”, I don’t know why I feel so triggered (I think it is because I myself always hated being put into boxes over things that I can’t control). Now I know it’s nothing compared to the traumas actual people facing this get, especially as I myself have traumas because of others forms of bigotry.
I don’t know if I m autistic yet (waiting for assessment) or just cptsd (diagnosed) though, I know both share similarities so I think asking here might be helpful as I know autistic can also struggle with intense feelings.