u/marshmallo_floof

Hey everyone,

I wanted to bring up a specific mindset I keep running during ranked play. For context, I am a high 6 digit (220K) and I want to voice my thoughts on the absolute refusal of a lot of players to aside their ego when they hit a wall in basic reading, not just in my rank bracket but after reading some posts and comments in this subreddit apparently some reaching to the 4 digits as well

Before I get into it, let me clarify: there is absolutely nothing wrong with pushing your limits. If you enjoy playing 5/6*+ maps or trying to pass maps outside your comfort zone, go for it! Pushing your boundaries is how you improve mechanics, and it’s a fun way to play the game and rewarding when you see your score on your local leaderboard improve. The issue comes when you're using high AR as a crutch to mask a complete lack of fundamentals. They immediately jump into spamming 6* maps with AR9+, convinced that because they can somehow pass a messy, mashy 6* map with <90% accuracy, that is their "true" skill level. The second I pick a beginner friendly 2-3* map that naturally sits at AR7 or AR8, the excuses start flying. I’ve been accused of "AR abusing" for picking regular 3-star maps, saying stuff like: "Bro I can't play this I'm used to at least 6*". And at this point every match my first pick always a low star map just to see how they react.

To me, this is the exact osu equivalent of ego lifting. For those unware, ego lifting is when you lift weights that are too heavy for you to handle with proper form, often to impress others or boost your self-esteem. This can lead to increased injury risk and hinder your strength gains due to poor technique. It’s like someone in the gym who quarter-squats 315 lbs with terrible form, but then claims they physically can't do a full-depth squat with 135 lbs because they're "too used to the heavy weights."

There is a massive difference between actually reading a map and just reacting to it. When you spam high AR on a high star map when you're fundamentals are barely crystalized, you often aren't reading density or rhythm but merely just sightread-mashing. If you lack the fundamental reading and finger control to get a decent score on a basic 3* map just because it's AR7/8, you don't have "high AR muscle memory." You have a massive reading deficit that you are masking with fast approach rates. Low AR on a 2-3* isn't the same as low AR on Yomi Yori. Stop edging yourself to slow AR and click the circles to the beat.

Edit: just to clarify, it's valid if you find the maps boring. I'm talking about those who are genuinely unable to play the maps because they struggle to hold themselves back from tapping early or straight up just not reading the map. Those who can't even get at least 90% accuracy.

I still fondly remember the closest thing to a father and son moment I’ve ever had with my dad.

I had recently gone through a bad breakup and was sitting in my room at my parents house at like two in the morning. I was 19 at the time and still on fairly good terms with my folks. We still went out to dinner sometimes and did family things but I was never as close to my dad as I was to my mom. A large part of that was the fact that my dad always worked nights.

Anyways, I was in my feelings and a little high and a little drunk and a little horny and decided to see what was poppin’ on Craigslist. Yeah, it was that long ago. Scrolling the personals, I found an ad for a free gloryhole in a hotel room a couple towns over. No details, just a wet mouth and I’d be on my way. I decide that I need a good time, and I drive over there.

The address brought me to a shitty hotel. I parked in the lot and walked up to the second story and knocked on the door to the room that was listed in the ad. The door wasn’t completely latched so it opened and I walked in. The comforter from the bed was draped over the bathroom doorway, with a hole cut in the middle. I said “fuck it” and slid my cock through the hole. Immediately I was met with the best cocksucking I’ve ever had in my life. I came in under two minutes. This mouth was skilled in ways I couldn’t comprehend. And the person on the other side of the sheet took my load with such eagerness that I almost started crying, having felt so lonely for the last couple weeks.

From the other side of the doorway, I heard a familiar sound. “Holy moly, guacamole” was barely audible as the man who took my load was trying to talk while swallowing my cum. I had heard my dad say that saying about a million times growing up. As I realized I had just fucked my dad’s mouth, I started freaking out and drove home as fast as I could. I tried to sleep but couldn’t.

I never talked about this to anyone and to my knowledge he doesn’t know a thing. But to this day, I have to wonder how we could afford the house when he said he was working but was actually sucking cock for free. Still, it was the nicest thing he has ever done for me.

then you feel like you "have to" binge eventually otherwise you would've wasted the money buying it in the first place. Today that was me. I spent the entirety of lunch time stopping by like 4 different stores for my binge session only to reach home and not feel like it anymore. Still ended up binge/purging at like 11pm and some of the food was already starting to go sour.

This disorder fucking sucks bruh