u/nariyal_chutney

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Kuch dino pehle hua tha (pata hai aaj kya hua)

*TLDR - Parents showed me a guy's profile for an arranged marriage. I connected with him through a fake LinkedIn account just to have a normal conversation before meeting (didn't want to reveal my identity because of family restrictions). After I confessed who I was, he was initially okay but later said anything that starts with a fake identity won't work and ended the conversation. Now his parents might show him my photo today, and I'm worried he'll recognize me. Was I wrong to approach him this way, or was my intention reasonable? What would you do in this situation?

I'm not so good in writing, so bare with me.

umm my parents are looking for arrange marriage rishtas for me. They showed me a picture, the guys looked good to me. I tried to find him on Linkedin ofc from a different account so that he can't see me.

I connected with that person with a different identity.

MY INTENTION - Just to have a basic conversation to know him a lil better before meeting in person. nothing to check about his personal life or past. I'm not interested in digging in anyone's past.

coming back to the story, so this guy was quite normal and professional while having a conversation with me, it was me only that was taking things forward to take the conversation ahead and it was a casual convo regarding work life, work mode and just normal things, it went for a day almost not frequent texts ofc. his replies were slow, next day he told me that he works in a evening shift and linkedin notifications are off so giving late replies. tbh I was okay with that guy I thought okay lets meet him now coz he was not very active in replying so the conversation can't move ahead this way. so I said this to him that my intention to connect with you was something else but since you are quite slow in reverting so I completely lost my interest, anyways take care.

and then he said no no wait i am sorry my notifications were off we can connect on insta, he shared. and then he asked me what was the purpose so at first I hesitated t share this but then I was like I should let him know, I told him the exact thing that my father showed your picture in a arranged marriage setup and I thought to connect with you at first from a fake id and try to know you. He said its okay, though his haven't showed any pic in recent times since he was travelling and on friday ( today) he is coming home so the things will be shared, and he said my girls and there brother connect me this way, no issues, you can ask me anything whatever you want. he insisted on connecting over insta and share my name, to which I was hesitant, I told him that I had to use a fake account coz I'm not sure what if the guy is sharing this to her parents that feels awkward and weird. so conversation moved forward, he asked would you be okay to leave your current city and shift somewhere else so yaa the conversation moved this and we chatted for like 15 min or so.

from next day he asked that okay go ahead if you want to ask me something and I said I have no questions just wanted to have a normal conversation. now then I said are you really looking to get married or its soemthing out of peer pressure? to which he replied in the evening that No, he really want to get married but 'I think you are doing it out of peer pressure', so i said No I really want to get married and asked him why did he think so. to which he said usually girls don't ask such questions and when thy do its out of pressure.

I said no, Its nothing like this I really want to get married but I want to know the mindset of the other person so I ask them clearly. are we on the same page now? and the next day he replied that 'hi, lets stop this here coz I really don't think things started something on the basis of fake will never turn out good in anyway. I said do you want to stop this completely or connect on insta with my real identity. and gave my reason once again why I did that, I rspected him decision and he said he want to stop it here, we wished good luck and it ended. and yes when in the starting he asked my named so we did a deal that if we move forward its okay if we not then no need to disclose my name or this situation to the family to which he agreed, so he know my name and my city.

So today he'll be coming his home and his parents I guess will show some girls pics that includes me, I can only imagine the embarrassing moment now when he will see ohh this is that girl who connected with me this way.

Now, all this happened jus yesterday so I'm processing things. the agenda of sharing this here is to understand the POV of male and female in this situation, where I did wrong ? was it even wrong to connect this way? I'm scared to tbh to connect just with my original id that hey I'm that girl your parents are seeing and what if he straight away goes and tell this to his parents, things will go to a different extent then. how to deal with this kind of situation, and yes my parents are quite orthodox they are not okay with this idea that girl and boy should be connecting this way, so I have to pick some other ways.

Thanks for reading this much and giving me your suggestions.

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Okay so, I'm venting out things that i have been feeling lately.

I was unemployed for a long time and then got a really good opportunity I was happy. I started working with that organisation and voila came to know it's a complete scam.

I work in sales, so it's a SAAS product that I'm selling and it's moreover a very stupid agentic AI build that helps for automatic job application done on the candidates behalf.

We have given a pitch ofc to follow and made sure to close it on call. On an everyday basis i deal with around 6-7 1:1 consultation calls, every type of profile, every age group, every experience people come to me. In recent times I have witnessed a lot of terminated and laid off profiles, very low income and jobless from months, from years, people come to us. We show them the product, we know internally it doesn't work at all. All we say is completely fake and a big lie. But people come in our words, and they give us the money which is huge like 25-50k. When i started to understand the process i was like okay people are not following the correct way and hence not able to land up to interview calls. Slowly i understood its a false product and designed in a wrong way. With every person who pays to me, i feel really bad and dead from inside because i know what I'm doing is morally wrong. Sometimes people say I'm trusting you and giving you the money and i know i'm breaking their trust.

We are also pressured to get the sales so sometimes a lot of BDA mis-sell more. We don't even get our incentives on time. I'm looking for better options but yes I know the market is tough. I also have a family to run and I can't leave the job without any other offer letter in my hand. But deep down I feel like when people give money on my faith, ofc they are going to curse me and their curse will impact my karma and life.

😞😞

A request to you all no matter whatever you are buying never do an impulse buy in the name of added features or additional discounts.

Feeling very low cause of my work. I'm in sales, tomo is the last day of the month I have not achieved my targets yet, whereas most people of my team are far above than the target. My TL is targeting me in every possible way. Also got the observation email since last 2 week target was not matched.

I feel so sad and bad, physically, mentally and emotionally.

I'm not good at writing so bare with me. 😞