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A friend of mine used to go by Kaidyn and he recently changed his name to a different one because he has a hyperfixation on the character he named himself after. and his boyfriend did the same just yesterday with the explanation that his new name is more tuff. Idk how to feel about that. I changed my name once from my deadname to my current one.

My classmates have been making loud plopping noises right beside my ears for weeks now and it’s getting unbearable. I told them to stop but they just keep going to the point where I cry. Loud noises are an extreme trigger for me and they know that. I’m allowed to wear headphones and class when we working alone, but they just keep doing it and telling me to take my headphones off even though they know there’s no issue for the teachers if I do it. They also like to sit in my seat and claim that the teacher told them to sit there but I know that didn’t happen because there are no issues with the current seat arrangement. They then take my backpack and lunchbox and basically throw them across the room so I can sit somewhere else but I just yell at them to stop grab my stuff and insisted I will sit in my seat again. Today it was especially bad and I was so overstimulated that I pushed him away from me and he slapped my butt when I walked off. The same thing happened shortly after school but this time he kicked me so hard I almost fell to the ground. I think I’m getting a bruise on my thigh from the kick.

I finally got all the papers, my parents me and my teachers have to fill out! My therapist said after summer break she will look at all the papers and then there will be a in-person test with my parents too? I’m kind of scared of that part because I always see these videos of people making parodies about their autism diagnosis. Like the therapist saying: So you’re not five, not a boy and you’re not white? Do you like trains?

My mom keeps saying I don’t have autism because autism is not something you just get when you’re a teenager but something you have since birth and I know that. I think I was probably just masking my whole life, but I’m not sure. Was I even supposed to notice when I was masking? That’s asking me I’m doing it intentionally or unintentionally?

A few of my classmates constantly make sounds right beside me in my ears knowing I cry easily from loud noises. And that got so bad that they decided to stomp on the ground beside my desk when I was already covering my ears.

They sometimes sit in my seat and I get upset because I always sit there and I don’t want to sit anywhere else and so they claim the teacher told them to sit there which could be true because I get overwhelmed after a full day of school and need a rest day in between so there could’ve been something announced that I didn’t know will happen or happened because I wasn’t there but that seat swapping thing never turned out to be true.

Whenever I have my own opinion on something in class they bring up things I did months ago. Like one time I brought a soda can that was caffeinated and I didn’t realise it was and caffeine isn’t allowed at school so now when I have a different opinion than them they say: “but you once bought caffeine to school shut up” that’s not exactly what they say but something like that.