u/okay_lizard

I’m a 26-year-old married woman and a dentist. I need to choose between returning to a PhD in Restorative Dentistry or keeping my new job at a private clinic.

I was accepted into the PhD program, but after attending for only three days, I was removed in a way I believed was unlawful. My husband, who is a lawyer, helped me challenge the decision in court. We opened the case in February and waited around six months.

Two weeks ago, the first court rejected my case. I was devastated and assumed the PhD was over, so I finally moved on and found a clinic job.
Then, on my third day at work, the higher court overturned the decision and ruled that I could return to the PhD. My professors immediately started messaging me and saying I could come back.

Now I have very little time to decide.

The PhD is unpaid and would take four years. For the first two years, I would need to attend around four days a week. The university is far away: about one hour going there if I leave early, but the return can take close to two hours. I also find academic hierarchy and departmental politics exhausting.

However, I genuinely like academia. I like the idea of research, teaching, conferences, learning and becoming a woman with a doctorate. I think I would feel very proud and accomplished if I completed it. Restorative Dentistry also suits me better than some parts of general dentistry, especially root-canal treatments, which I find extremely stressful.

The clinic offers immediate income and economic independence. After being unemployed for a long time, earning my own money feels very good. More importantly, for the first time in my career, I have felt confident and successful as a clinician. The daily routine also feels much more manageable than academic life.
But I have only been at the clinic for a short time, and because it is a private clinic, there is no guarantee they will keep me long-term. I am afraid of rejecting the PhD, losing that opportunity forever and then being dismissed from the clinic.

My husband is strongly against the PhD because of the commute, unpaid years and difficult academic environment. My mother thinks I should consider whether short-term income is worth giving up long-term academic progress.

The hardest part is that I do want the PhD. The financial loss is what upsets me most. My basic needs would still be covered, but I would lose my own income and the freedom to spend on things I want, such as furnishing and decorating our home.

So I feel stuck between two lives:
PhD: academic identity, pride, intellectual fulfilment and a unique opportunity, but no income, a long commute and a difficult hierarchy.
Clinic: money, independence, practical confidence and a manageable routine, but less security and the possibility of regretting the PhD forever.
What would you do in my position? Would you return to the unpaid PhD, or keep the clinic job?

hey so this is not a vent or anything just a funny story to me, got hypomanic and i was watching dj sets at home while doing chores, and i thought, oh i could become like them too! i would learn and record my dj sets at home and upload them on youtube and tiktok and eventually get big! it’s just funny to me 😂 thank god i didn’t have enough money to spend on gear, i’ve been responsible with my hypomanic spending lately, so now that ive come down, i got very overwhelmed with everything about djing, still not quite sure if i should still invest in it or not, just wanted to share

I am 25F married 26M, he works a busy office job where he needs to wear ironed shirts and tidy suits to work, while I’m a stay at home wife. Growing up, my parents never really taught me anything to focus on my studies. At one point in my life I’ve lived in a studio apartment alone, but that home was (sucks to admit) very dirty and messy. But, still, I somewhat learned the basics of how to do “things” , I still haven’t learned how to keep a schedule and be on top of them. My husband has grown up in a really cultural family, where men didn’t do anything and didn’t have responsibilities at home. He didn’t do anything to this point, he tries but I kind of understand him not doing much cause he already works alot and comes home tired, so I think I should be doing the majority of the housework.

My problem is, I don’t know how to keep things going. Every two weeks I do shit ton of laundry, folding and ironing, and get the clothes done, then I get too comfortable and leave it for another week or two. I never regularly vaccuum the house. Only thing I can keep up is the kitchen because I really love cooking and cleaning the countertops. Other than that everything feels like a burden to me. I hate doing things. But I know this is not the way I wanna live anymore cause this is not sustainable and kind of damaging my relationship.

I’m bipolar type 2 and I started with 5 mg then eventually upped to 10 mg. It wasn’t doing much for me and lately I was getting bad anxiety. My dr prescribed 15 mg and wanted to see me again in a month. First week was torture, I got heart palpitations after taking the dose, mornings were sluggish, but after a week I’ve started to notice the effects. I realized I literally didn’t care about anything anymore! It’s been almost 3 weeks, I could say I’m still adjusting and not completely stable, but I don’t have this heavy chest anymore. And it didn’t made me emotionally flat, instead, it just erased the anxiety and bad feelings so I care more about the important stuff and I can just normally go on about my day. I feel happier and more motivated and I can brush off bad moments very easily. I never knew all I needed was just extra 5 mgs. I love it so much here!!