u/overtooken

I’m in a 3 months relationship. My homie is good looking and also overly going, but said recently he wants to lock in and find a relationship. I pick up on things and think about them deeply, I feel like both my gf and homie ask about each other a little too much, and it throws me off. He has called her attractive to me before, the other night she told me and my other friends that she’s intimidated by my homie because she’s scared he won’t like her, she was drunk otherwise idk if she would say this straight up, it does come across as weird. My girlfriend and me are in the happiest relationship that I think is possible and we think about eachother constantly, i would even say I don’t give as much attention as she does because I’m just a very busy person, but we still hangout every night and sometimes in the day. She said she was down to go to his performance even though she hates groups of people and bars and drinking in general.

Almost everytime me and my homie are about to do something he asks if she is pulling up or asks me to ask if she can pull up, I don’t really get that I’ve never had that same dynamic when he’s in a relationship or situationship. They don’t have each other on social media or anything and I think it’s more likely my homie fws my girl than the other way around, so idk if there’s anything to be said or done until I were to get some real evidence. I do feel really insecure about it though and imagine what if she cheated on me with him. I don’t know if this is worth bringing up or just looks stupid. I’m completely in love with my gf and the other way around, I just have insecurities and gut feelings that honestly have let me down yet. Does anyone have advice for what I should do?

It’s prolly worth mentioning i did his girl in college when they were still talking, he never found out but i always thought he might know about it and try to retaliate. We were barely friends at the time though but I do feel terrible about it.

I have body dysmorphia and it’s eaten me alive the past 5 months, destroying my social skills. I have a beautiful girlfriend and my bestfriend who is also good looking is going to meet her soon. He’s extremely social and she does things that come off as flirting because she laughs at basically everything when she is nervous, and always wears really nice outfits that are a little suggestive as wrong as that might be to say. I believe my friend will think she’s flirting and match her energy when they meet.

I’m scared that when they meet I might not have much to say to either of them since I know them both very well, and they will end up talking way more than I do. Plus I’m still trying to develop my social skills and I need a lot of work. I do way better one on one with both of them and this is going to get me in my head a lot. He takes everything a girl does towards him as flirting, and when they were originally supposed to meet today he was asking me if he looked good and fixing his hair and etc beforehand. It threw me off so I called it off which might be very insecure of me, but I felt uncomfortable with what his intentions might be.

I’m not sure how I’m going to do good in this situation, what to talk about, how to inject myself into the conversations, etc. I feel like this is going to be hard for me and I’ll be in my head a lot during the whole thing. I know she would never look at another guy the way she does me, because our love is very deep and serious, but I’m more concerned about his intentions and the impression she might give him. I need advice on how I can make this go well, what to say, how to act, and how to calm my anxiety down during.

I’m dealing with a lot of insecurities, and my best friend is very good looking and social. He’s also a hoe and treats girls badly. I have a beautiful girlfriend that I know he might be interested in, although I don’t think he would cross that line. Today we were all gonna hangout for the first time but before we went to pick her up he started asking me if he looks good and saying he wants to make sure he looks good his first time meeting her. I found this weird and called the whole shit off. Maybe I’m being insecure but he barely ever gives af about how he looks and all of a sudden he’s doing his hair and asking for advice, idk it threw me off.

It made me realize I’m not ready for them to meet, they are both more social than me at the moment, (I just got out of a long depression a month ago), and they both look better than me in my opinion. I would hate for them to be talking more than I’m talking, but I think that’s what might happen and it scares me. She laughs a lot and dresses really nice and I feel like he would take that as flirting, because every girl that even looks at him he assumes is interested in him. I’ve been having a lot of trouble while trying to develop my social skills, I run out of things to say, and most things I say to my girlfriend are romantic or private conversations, which is why we mostly hangout just the 2 of us. She says we are soulmates every day and our love is very serious but this situation I feel will make me really uncomfortable and insecure. And I honestly dont want to feed his ego or give him ideas that he has a chance with her, because I know that could end up ruining our friendship.

I feel very immature with this but I know I would be in my head and overly examine their conversations with each other. How can I prepare for this, and what are some topics or things to say that can keep me in the conversation with high energy? I plan for them to meet in a few days.

I notice that I don’t have a lot to do and when I spend a whole day without any interactions I lose a lot of progress and get in my head more the next day. How can I stay on top of my social skills even when I’m stuck at home for a day? I want to improve drastically this summer before college so I can make the best of it. Also is there any advice on expanding my vocabulary/ choice of words, and possibly becoming funnier/ less restricted? Thank you.

I’m surrounded by attractive people, including my girlfriend, she’s the most beautiful person in the world and I’m simply ugly. Every day is random whether i’m going to break down as soon as i wake up and see myself, or if i can swallow my pain and get through the day. It makes my progress so slow. Life is unbearable while I look like this. If I had money I would spend it all on surgery and dental work. I’m never okay, even when I’m having an intimate and sweet moment with my girlfriend I’m thinking about how I look and even abt scd. I’m so damaged, my thoughts are so damaging all the time. I hate myself more than anybody else, and I feel shame that people have to see my face in public.

I can’t go to the gym by myself because i’m too scared today. I can’t even shower today because I’m too scared to look in the mirror again. The pain is unreal when I see myself. I feel cursed. I genuinely feel a shock when I see myself, and a ton of shame that I’ve been living my life looking like this all this time. The only thing that has ever made me feel different is external validation and relationships. But I don’t think that can work anymore I’m too genuinely ugly to be alive. How can life be like this? How could I make this livable? I wanted to live life so bad it just seems pointless.

I have the most beautiful girlfriend ever, and she loves me just as much as I love her, she believes we are soulmates and I agree, but I see her as out of my league. I despise how I look, and sometimes I think she finds me unattractive in photos too, my biggest fear is another more attractive guy trying to get with her or her finding someone more attractive than me. It wouldn’t be hard to do. People found me attractive throughout my life, and I would think that would change things, but my insecurities never waver and I still hate myself despite having exactly what I always wanted.

I’m scared to even bring her around my more attractive friends, they are also more social than me so I get scared that they might converse more than I’m able to. My looks destroy my confidence, I used to be confident and not care how I look and now it’s all just terrible. My personality is dull when I’m self conscious about how I look, and I am constantly scared of how others perceive me. These issues prevent me from doing so much in my life, and leave me depressed frequently which means I give up on myself for periods of time and destroy all my progress.

My only goal in life is to be attractive. If I had that and my girlfriend then I would be infinitely happy, but instead I’m cursed? I don’t understand how I’m expected to live like this being scared of cameras and coming across to other people as weird because of how damaged I am. Body dysmorphia is the worst mental illness and I have cptsd aswell. Therapy hardly works for my body dysmorphia and being expected to just accept how I look seems ridiculous. I will always be vulnerable and insecure and eventually my relationship will end because of it and then I will take ml. That’s the plan anyway. How can I live like other people do. It seems impossible I hate it. Even when I want to make progress in life, life is so miserable that I hardly care. My only drive is my relationship period.

I’m a musician, i do workout but I feel like i’m lacking skills and hobbies that could help shape me as a man and also make me more masculine overall. Any advice or ideas help, thank you!

I lost my ability to talk to people, everything i say is bland and i put a lot of effort into everything i say, because it’s so hard for me to come up with stuff for some reason, i don’t even have the basic conversations down that everyone has with each other. i just finished a 4 month depression and want to improve quickly because there’s a lot of socially taxing things coming up in my life and future.

How can I work on these things more frequently? I almost feel incapable because I don’t even know how to start a conversation or ask a meaningful question. I’m so bad at it that I often say redundant things just to fill silence and I make myself look stupid a lot. I used to be so much more social but never realized it, now I know what it’s like to be a true introvert that’s afraid to even open his mouth. Is there a cheat sheet somewhere for a list of questions I can memorize or something?

Nothing feels natural right now I feel like I need to study this or something, even though I’m talking to more people each day I don’t feel much improvement and feel burnt out very quickly. When I’m burnt out I’m practically nonverbal even around the people I’m comfortable with. Sorry for the yapping. Any advice helps I want to be able to live life so badly.

(TW: guns and suicide) was doordashing and dude came out of the house with it in his hand, he was mad i didn’t knock on his door, he wasn’t just mad tho he was tripping. He said he doesn’t play like that especially around here, like fym im delivering you food. When i first saw the gun I froze up to talk to him, he didn’t raise it or anything but i knew it was a possibility, dude seemed like hes at his breaking point. Fuck doordash this is the second time my life has been at risk and it shuts me down so bad, i couldn’t even say a word afterward for a while.

My brother was w me but stayed in the car. He said don’t worry about it too much, but guns already trigger me, I really thought I’d die right there. I started to think about my old plans to kill myself, and my old thoughts of wanting someone to kill me so bad. I really thought god had my fate laid out in that guys front yard. Fuck people and fuck this illness everything is so much worse for me when it comes to situations like this. Not that this should happen again.

Everytime I put my contacts in it’s like my face transforms into something else. I live with blurry eyesight because I’m scared to see myself clearly. I can’t believe other people see all these details on my face. Makes me scared to go in public otherwise people may be scared of me. I want to be able to wear them all the time and be confident, honestly I’ve been doing great this week and now that i put my contacts in i feel my trauma. Crazy how normal stuff like this can trigger me. Does anybody relate to this? Can’t tell if it’s better to avoid this trigger or forcefully get over it for the sake of my eyesight.

I’m looking for easy to layer presets for modern ug trap, i like e pianos and leads, please help me out im trying to get more out of analog lab.