u/plumeria29

i've been wishing that i were mixed for a while now. i am not joking when i say this. i've been wishing so badly that it's not even funny. mixed people are fawned over a lot (especially in my country) and i understand the appeal as i personally think mixed people are very beautiful. i'd stop being a sub 5 if i look less like a black. i think other black women are beautiful, though. it just doesn't look good on me.

and by mixed, you know the kind i'm referring to.

the title is crazy, but recently, i've been wishing i had been mixed for a while now. and by mixed, you know the sort. i know that i probably am technically mixed by way of whatever was happening during slavery and indentureship times, but i'm speaking about biracial people specifically. the ethnically ambiguous sort with the looser hair. that kind of mixed.

i'm not expecting to magically look better as that, but it'd hike me up from sub 5 to at least ​a mtb or stacy, especially in this country. i'd probably have a better chance with my type, too. mixed people are amongst the most well-off populations here, too. every time i see pictures from one of those prep/private schools, it's always mixed people or people of asian descent who enroll their children in those places.

i probably have no business posting here as i am an athiest (from a predominantly christian country, and i promise this is a one-off) and it's a bit controversial to say this, but i have to admit that, in my honest opinion, some people within this faith are just rude, disgusting bullies or just pure evil. plain and simple, and there is absolutely no denying that. it's so bad that it's literally become a stereotype/joke online that people with crosses in their display name or a bible verse in their bio tend to say horrible stuff.

a good chunk of the racist, "traditional" esoteric save europe never mix totally nice day rubbish comes from christian people too.

i especially feel this way after a horrible encounter i had with one (which if you want prior context, you can read).

i am not saying that you're all inherently awful or mean, not at all. i have a whole post chronicling my interactions with one of these bullies. it's just disgusting how people like that can claim to be part of a faith that supposedly revolves around being kind and all that jazz. i'll never understand sharing a pew with someone who as far as you know, could be one of these horrendous individuals. imho the community ought to weed out individuals like this and revoke their christian card.

and another, more controversial question i have is that if it were that effective of a faith, why have you got so many nasty people in it as if the whole point of such a thing isn't to have your life be directed?

to start, although i am an athiest, i somewhat know my way around the bible, and i live in a predominantly christian country, so being one is regarded as a default.

it all started with a video i came across on my fyp captioned with "unfortunately, i'm a 'that's for girls' kinda momma", and the mother in question was removing pink markers and crayons from the rest of her son's school supplies. fortunately, most of the comments were calling this ridiculous (and i agree). however, i came across one comment saying "so am i the only one who agrees?".

i simply said "yes, and i hope you change", only to be met with "we're the only species confused about out gender, save it". in response to that, i typed up a whole list encompassing several animals who don't exactly fit the human gender binary and aren't sexually dichotomous like us (such as some fish, ​seahorses, lions​, hyenas, etc.), and how you can't exactly compare us to other animals due to this. she simply claimed that i "wasted my time typing that paragraph". there was another person in that thread who said what i said, but she resorted to tell them "sybau [pikachu parody from drawn together]" because they happened to be filipino (and mind you, she is black herself).

she then went into my dms, opening with a gif of a guy spitting. as this was par for the course at this point, i spammed two stickers that said "i have no argument and i must reaction image" and the wojak saying "my unbeatable argument!" and holding a phone that had "insert reaction image/meme" on its screen. she proceeded to respond with a sticker calling me "delulu" and then said "you're a 🚂-y aren't you" (not the word she used). mind you, i am cishet (but i am an ally, bare minimum but i digress). i responded by saying "no, but god forbid i care about people". she said "this generation can't handle the truth, they're too soft", so i pointed out how she couldn't be calling me sensitive because her only rebuttal to the aforementioned filipino person was to simply call them a slur. she started calling me a "lil bitch", then a "big bitch" and a "sloppy ho" and when i pointed out how she's resorting to insults about me being promiscuous even though the person she's insulting in question is a child, she told me to "stfu". i reported her and thankfully, she is suspended from DM-ing, but imho, she deserved more.

tiktok has got to be the only app where a 15-year-old has to be explaining and arguing with a whole grown adult who is only 4 years away from being double her age, and said adult's rebuttal simply consists of insults, slurs, shitty reaction memes and "i don't have to explain anything". genuinely, how the hell are you so immature when you are relatively young but past the age where your frontal lobe has developed? what purpose do you serve to this earth? just farting around being pure humanslop and making your faith and all the people in it look god-awful? if anything, the dynamic should've been reversed (and admittedly, i feel i was being immature myself with some of my responses and spamming the stickers).

i know i am sounding an awful lot like the whole angry, snarky and resentful reddit atheist stereotype, but it's sad that i'll inevitably be perceived in such a way simply because i'm calling out disgusting people who just to happen to intertwine their faith with their hatred.

it's not at all a lie to say that so many christians are simply hateful as hell despite their religion being lauded as "peaceful, loving and forgiving".

please tell me a sub that is something akin to isthisAI, but for videos and photos that are real but modified through means not related to generative AI or have preceded the technology, such as filters and photoshop.

it all begun in late August 2024 on an app called bottled, so named for its mechanic of throwing a bottle to another user's island as a way to meet friends from all over the world. one day, i found a letter that said "i love chubby girls" from a 12-year-old boy from bangladesh. at the time, 13-year-old me took this as a prime opportunity to be successful with a boy for once, as prior to this, i'd fumble every single boy i was ever into.

i kept the bottle, and i struck up a conversation with him. soon, he asked if we could move to instagram and eventually to whatsapp, which i obliged.​ that's where he revealed he was actually 17-years-old, and misclicked when selecting his birth year. i accepted that explanation, and soon, we kicked it off. i even introduced him to one of my former friends (this detail is important).

we were going strong when school started for me. we did this thing where we would go on video call after school or on weekends. i'd show him myself while he beat his meat. on one of these calls, he heard my niece on my end and said that he wanted to see her. when i asked "a picture? a video? on call?", he said "naked". my niece was fresh out of basic school at the time, and was starting grade 1.

my stupid ass decided to tell this to said friend, who was reasonably disgusted. i felt bad for admitting that as i wanted them to be happy that i finally found someone who liked me back.

i decided to loop around to it being a joke and that he never actually said that, which backfired onto me as my friends got mad at me because that's a serious, life-ruining thing to accuse someone of. that moment soon devolved into a other shitshow about a situation involving me and another girl in that group who had gotten into a physical fight back in grade 7, who wanted an apology (we were in grade 9 by this point, but frankly it's reasonable want an apology).

i felt the apology was randomly sprung upon me and i had gotten nervous and couldn't hold eye-contact, which i was goaded to or else it seemed i didn't care. it didn't help that i had a character of sorts within that friend group to be the crazy, "silly" one, and i accidentally slipped out something along the lines of "among-sus". my "defense" didn't help and it only made it worse and cause them to basically exile me from hanging out with them, but i digress. i coped with losing a good chunk of my friends from grade 7 with the fact that at least i'd still have him. we were even talking about out future family and everything.

however, christmas came around (i turned 14 prior). things were good as usual, but one day, someone who knew him in real life, seemingly an ex, dm-ed me on insta with a video of proof showing how creepy and horny he was towards them. my stupid ass decided to admit that i was his current girlfriend, the niece thing and how "even though he was kinda creepy, i still loved him". i requested them to not share it, but clearly they didn't listen, because eventually, he confronted me about it angrily. he had to lie and say i was his guy friend to the people around him so he wouldn't look bad. to this day, i still feel stupid and guilty about ratting him out and going scot-free because i was all the way across the world from him. eventually, we started to drift and i tried writing up this long-ass apology and sending it to him on christmas day so i could still hold on, but he put his foot down. at the time, this was all devastating to me.

our very last interactions were at the very beginning of 2025. i could see that he was really uninterested, so i decided to wipe all traces of him from my phone and put it down.

i know that he's not really a pedo because it's a 4 to 3-year gap and admittedly, i was guilty of enabling this stuff, as i'd joke around about being younger than him, so this is definitely a situation where everyone is an asshole to be honest, considering i ruined everything for him and myself because i couldn't shut the hell up.

i still feel conflicted towards him as he was a nice, smart guy for the most part, but he just had a bit of a libido problem. maybe it's a cultural thing, considering the aoc in bangladesh was 14 years old at some point, but if there's anyone from there, please correct me.

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

to clarify, i am a black girl myself. i know this is a black-exclusive space, but i have to clarify this because i feel what i am about to say could come off the wrong way if i don't enunciate it properly (and i already feel like i should've listened to my gut). i will be focusing on two (and a half) examples here.

so there's this one tiktok account that i keep getting on my feed. while i do agree with the sentiment of wanting more people to embrace and learn to care for their natural hair and they do raise some good points about how women in asia are exploited for human gair wigs and the health risks of relaxers, i dislike how they kind of villify people who wear wigs/straighten their hair, to the point of derisively labeling them as "wig warriors". it somewhat reminds me of people who bully fat people to "encourage" them, because what's the point of shaming people to persuade them, especially if you claim they're doing it out of insecurity? some people straighten their hair simply for the sake of convenience as well. additionally, i personally wear my natural hair and i do like it. another example of this was under a post of a girl who said that she wanted to make her slickback look neater without gel because she wanted to reduce the products, which is a good move in my opinion. however, i saw some people in the comments going on about how using gel supposedly means you "hate your hair" and "won't embracing your natural features".

my next example is that of an instagram post by a major news publication in my country covering a local anime convention. while the comments were correcting the publication (they mistakenly said the convention was "chinese"), there were a few that stood out to me.

they were along the lines of statements such as "why don't we create our own stories and comics instead of embracing people who hate us", "these people are rejecting/don't know their culture" when a lot of black nerds/weebs are aware of the racism that happens in their spaces and the negative portrayal they receive in the media, and criticize it.

also, you have a lot of black anime fans and nerds who ARE artists and writers and create their own stories, such as the well-known aaron mcgruder, the creator of "pretty please i don't want to be a magical girl" and the creators of the "static shock" comics. in fact, there is a jamaican anime-styled animated project in the works.

people enjoying anime and embracing their culture are not mutually exclusive things as they can do both. i even saw a comment that went as far as to mention the suicide of a black cosplayer who was bullied for cosplaying frieren (rest in peace), and claiming she was "bullied by asians" when that was NOT the sole group that was bullying them. many of the black people in the cosplaying space were quick to call out these bullies as well. lying about a person's cause of death, even if it were a minor detail and using it to back up your point is scummy to do.

now this post is not to say i wholeheartedly disagree with these people, it's just that i simply dislike the execution of their messages. the best way i can summarize my feelings is through this popular homelander meme, where it is captioned along the lines of "when someone has an opinion you agree with, but the way they express it makes you want to disagree". i dislike how these people hold a caricature of the people they disagree with, and treat people liking and doing the things they like and embracing their blackness as mutually exclusive things. i admit that this is a very controversial and inflammatory take, but hopefully it's understandable.

to clarify, i am a black girl myself. i know this is a black-exclusive space, but i have to clarify this because i feel what i am about to say could come off the wrong way if i don't enunciate it properly (and i already feel like i should've listened to my gut). i will be focusing on two (and a half) examples here.

so there's this one tiktok account that i keep getting on my feed. while i do agree with the sentiment of wanting more people to embrace and learn to care for their natural hair and they do raise some good points about how women in asia are exploited for human gair wigs and the health risks of relaxers, i dislike how they kind of villify people who wear wigs/straighten their hair, to the point of derisively labeling them as "wig warriors". it somewhat reminds me of people who bully fat people to "encourage" them, because what's the point of shaming people to persuade them, especially if you claim they're doing it out of insecurity? some people straighten their hair simply for the sake of convenience as well. additionally, i personally wear my natural hair and i do like it. another example of this was under a post of a girl who said that she wanted to make her slickback look neater without gel because she wanted to reduce the products, which is a good move in my opinion. however, i saw some people in the comments going on about how using gel supposedly means you "hate your hair" and "won't embracing your natural features".

my next example is that of an instagram post by a major news publication in my country covering a local anime convention. while the comments were correcting the publication (they mistakenly said the convention was "chinese"), there were a few that stood out to me.

they were along the lines of statements such as "why don't we create our own stories and comics instead of embracing people who hate us", "these people are rejecting/don't know their culture" when a lot of black nerds/weebs are aware of the racism that happens in their spaces and the negative portrayal they receive in the media, and criticize it.

also, you have a lot of black anime fans and nerds who ARE artists and writers and create their own stories, such as the well-known aaron mcgruder, the creator of "pretty please i don't want to be a magical girl" and the creators of the "static shock" comics. in fact, there is a jamaican anime-styled animated project in the works.

people enjoying anime and embracing their culture are not mutually exclusive things as they can do both. i even saw a comment that went as far as to mention the suicide of a black cosplayer who was bullied for cosplaying frieren (rest in peace), and claiming she was "bullied by asians" when that was NOT the sole group that was bullying them. many of the black people in the cosplaying space were quick to call out these bullies as well. lying about a person's cause of death, even if it were a minor detail and using it to back up your point is scummy to do.

now this post is not to say i wholeheartedly disagree with these people, it's just that i simply dislike the execution of their messages. the best way i can summarize my feelings is through this popular homelander meme, where it is captioned along the lines of "when someone has an opinion you agree with, but the way they express it makes you want to disagree". i dislike how these people hold a caricature of the people they disagree with, and treat people liking and doing the things they like and embracing their blackness as mutually exclusive things. i admit that this is a very controversial and inflammatory take, but hopefully it's understandable.

https://preview.redd.it/zthtrjkn21eh1.png?width=920&format=png&auto=webp&s=93b096cc65fceb24ffe6d0611e3f018fd2cfb64f

https://preview.redd.it/uts0ueqw21eh1.png?width=255&format=png&auto=webp&s=054b8d987a7bf5d6437813858002979f11965996

here's what the screenshots say if they are difficult to read

a: We call ourselves West Indian not Caribbean or Afro-Caribbean.

me: West Indian is kind of an archaic term these days. Plus, Caribbean/Afro or Indo Caribbean are more descriptive.

a: Nobody from the Caribbean refers to themself as that, unless they are talking to not so bright people, and they have to dumb it down for them to understand. West Indian is descriptive, It's our ethnicity. We are Indians of the Western hemisphere, colonizers would prefer we call ourselves African or Afro like an edyat and forget. Caribs are their own tribe, we arent all Caribbean.

me: depends on the cohort. i have never heard anyone within the younger generations use that term,
also, i hate to break it to you, but most of the indigenous peoples are near-extinct, both culturally and physically. Obviously it is not a total extinction since you still have populations in the South American territories (such as Guyana, Suriname and Belize), multi-racial people who have some percentage of indigenous within their ancestry as well as cultural acknowledgement and preservation through artefacts, historical figures, place names as well as other ways of life being studied.

However, you ultimately can't deny that because of the mistreatment and flat out genocide the indigenous peoples faced at the hands of the colonizers. In this day and age, a majority of the Caribbean is made up of the descendants of those who were brought during slavery and indentureship, and they significantly outnumber said indigenous peoples.

me: And to add onto this, I did not intend to insinuate that ALL groups of people in the Caribbean call themselves "Afro-". I even included Indo-Caribbean people (Caribbean people of Indian descent) as an example in my initial response, as they are also a major group in the region.
If anything, the colonizers are the very people who ascribed the term "West Indies" onto the region, as Columbus thought he could find a safer route to Asia in the opposite direction from Europe, and thought the indigenous people they encountered were Indians. It is ironically a massive misnomer to use West Indies/West Indians when the indigenous groups have absolutely nothing to do with the Indian subcontinent.

me: And if you really care about detaching yourself from colonizers, you would find out what indigenous ethnic group you were most likely descended from, such as the Kalina, Taino, Garifuna and all the other things under that umbrella and use the endonym by said group. Frankly, you wouldn't be using a stupid, archaic misnomer.

a: You still believe that fairly tale? That Colombus was lost and accidentally found this Terrestrial Paradise?? Colonization was a military expedition, not some accident. Jews and Catholics had plenty of intel on where they were going, and who they were going to enslave and destroy. America was known as India Superior, no misnomer. West Indies/India = Caribbean. East Indies/India = SouthEast Asia. Colonizers made efforts to try and cover up the true story, OR did you expect the colonizer to teach you the whole honest truth in his indoctrination centers, called schools?? Read the Doctrine of Discovery written by Pope Alexander and you'll understand, they werent lost at all. Don't matter if you call yourself Indian, coloured, black, pink or blue; they still killing you.. You think youre just a immigrant?? An African? Good for the colonizer, indoctrination worked. You won't fight back.

a bit of prior context, but this took place in the comments section of a video discussing celebrities and notable figures who are afro-caribbean or of afro-caribbean descent. i am the person with the bunny profile picture, conversing with the person who has the default letter profile picture. their name is censored in purple.

i am not diaspora. i am from and currently reside in the caribbean (that being jamaica). i go to school there and currently take history as a subject. i felt it was important to clarify that so it wouldn't seem as if I were barging in on discussions that i had no business with. i think a space discussing black history would be suitable for my question.

did i say anything wrong? if so, i am open to corrections and additional information. admittedly, i think what i said was very broad and oversimplified as i was working off of my memory for the most part. is the person that i am speaking with correct? i wouldn't want to be misinformed, and i genuinely wish to learn.

https://preview.redd.it/3iqgxdtzxwdh1.png?width=920&format=png&auto=webp&s=8f5372d3fd884bd7fdd6ccdabe1a89204841ed7c

i am aware that this extends beyond Jamaica, but the Ask the Caribbean sub does not allow images.

like you don't have to try (and fail) to talk to someone who you've been looking at for months. no obsessive tendencies. no feeling hopeless because you're all crazy over someone who's got no idea of your entire existence. i'd go out on a limb and say i wish I WERE aroace if it weren't for living in a religiously anti-queer country. i'm literally so jealous.

the title does sound rather wild, but to clarify, while I do understand such a mindset, i do not condone it. another thing to clarify is that i am black myself in a predominantly black country. no caucasian behind the keyboard. this will be from a mostly caribbean perspective as I happen to be an individual from that region.

i think the reason why they go down said route is that their own community is judgemental towards them for having their own interests. feeling outcasted, they become resentful towards said people.​

frankly, I think people here aren't as "polite", and "good" as recounted, and are mad performative solely for that tourist money.​ i see their true colors, and they're the judgemental, close-minded sort. I see this first hand in places such as comments sections of videos of a person dressing alternative. a particular case that stuck out to me was a trio of girls starting a girl/idol group of sorts. in my honest opinion, the, but people in the comments thought otherwise, saying things along the lines of "a wah kinda sym group/song dis" or scapegoating somewhat non-basic interests such as k-pop and anime, because god forbid people make music that isn't just some blowout bass type music about partying, scamming, sex, crime or all four at once, or not want to dress the same way you do.

a bit of an idea of what i enjoy style-wise would be a combination of casual and childlike fashion from 20 years ago with feminine japanese street fashion styles. i am fond of a variety of motifs and patterns, such as the polka-dot, stripes, buta/paisley, tropical (particularly hibiscuses and other such flowers), animal print, abstract floral, sweets (such as biscuits, strawberries and neapolitan). in terms of color palettes, i particularly enjoy pink, pastels and bright colors but i do not shy away from variety. i like accessories such as bangles, bracelets, hairclips, loose knit socks, scarves as belts, and headbands.

i am currently 15 years old. in my country, it is illegal for me to work as i would need to be 17 in order to be hired. if i were able to secure my own money, i would've resorted to such a solution.

my mother claims that i am "rushing things" and that i do not have "that spark" nor do i "know what looks good". she dislikes that i wear the same pair of bell-bottoms/bootcut jeans, even though most of my pants are skinny jeans, which i dislike due to how uncomfortable they feel and how difficult they are to put on, as well as my controversial general opinion that they are not suited for everyone and only really look good with boots. it has gotten to the point a constant argument arises when it's time for us to go out. i do not feel like myself whenever she dresses me.

i have relatives abroad who have easier access to a wider range of items. i feel ashamed to say this as it sounds ungrateful, but i do not care for the things that they get for me. i understand that they are doing it out of goodwill and while i appreciate the gesture, the things they get are more based on their approximations of what i like and would wear rather than items i actually prefer.

i dislike the items that are physically on sale in most stores and on most street sides. there aren't many thrift stores within my country, and the few that do tend to exist in resort towns and the cities. culturally, people have a sort of pride-based mindset to the degree they wouldn't wear anything second-hand or stick out in general, and that older clothing should simply be delegated to home clothing before becoming rags.

whenever we go out, i see other teens around my age dressing in styles they like and it feels even more unfair.

if this is not a suitable place to ask this question, my apologies.

a bit of an idea of what i enjoy style-wise would be a combination of casual and childlike fashion from 20 years ago with feminine japanese street fashion styles. i am fond of a variety of motifs and patterns, such as the polka-dot, stripes, buta/paisley, tropical (particularly hibiscuses and other such flowers), animal print, abstract floral, sweets (such as biscuits, strawberries and neapolitan). in terms of color palettes, i particularly enjoy pink, pastels and bright colors but i do not shy away from variety. i like accessories such as bangles, bracelets, hairclips, loose knit socks, scarves as belts, and headbands.

i am currently 15 years old. in my country, it is illegal for me to work as i would need to be 17 in order to be hired. if i were able to secure my own money, i would've resorted to such a solution.

my mother claims that i am "rushing things" and that i do not have "that spark" nor do i "know what looks good". she dislikes that i wear the same pair of bell-bottoms/bootcut jeans, even though most of my pants are skinny jeans, which i dislike due to how uncomfortable they feel and how difficult they are to put on, as well as my controversial general opinion that they are not suited for everyone and only really look good with boots. it has gotten to the point a constant argument arises when it's time for us to go out. i do not feel like myself whenever she dresses me.

i have relatives abroad who have easier access to a wider range of items. i feel ashamed to say this as it sounds ungrateful, but i do not care for the things that they get for me. i understand that they are doing it out of goodwill and while i appreciate the gesture, the things they get are more based on their approximations of what i like and would wear rather than items i actually prefer.

i dislike the items that are physically on sale in most stores and on most street sides. there aren't many thrift stores within my country, and the few that do tend to exist in resort towns and the cities. culturally, people have a sort of pride-based mindset to the degree they wouldn't wear anything second-hand or stick out in general, and that older clothing should simply be delegated to home clothing before becoming rags.

whenever we go out, i see other teens around my age dressing in styles they like and it feels even more unfair.