u/rarei12

The basement of my unit flooded with nearly a foot of water on Canada Day. The water was sewage backup through the floor drain. My landlord hasn’t had anyone come by yet despite multiple emails and pictures of the damage.

The HVAC system is no longer working, as the furnace was flooded, so the air in my house is not circulating well (and so my AC is also broken).

The hot water tank also is not working, so I am having to take baths and dump kettles & pots of hot water to have an even mildly tolerable temperature bath.

The unit is starting to smell honestly because of the wet drywall, even after I threw away all my wet belongings and mopped the floor with some bleach solution.

I have tenant insurance and they said I have coverage if the place is deemed “uninhabitable” the other day, if I have to stay in an air bnb or hotel, but that I would really have to prove that it’s not habitable, but it’s not like my house is completely totalled, I guess like it would be in a fire. But it is starting to smell.

I still have to call my insurance when the phone lines open again, but is there anything else I can do about this on the landlord’s end? I am feeling abandoned by my landlord honestly and disappointed that no one has even come by to look at the property after the flooding or sent an emergency tech to fix the HVAC or hot water. I have sent photos and texts and emails and they acknowledge my problem but no action takes place. I live in Ottawa, if that helps.

Any suggestions or advice? :(

I bought a refurbished iPhone 15 pro max and honestly I was under the impression that they replaced the batteries before reselling the phone, but no, the battery of the phone is already at 88%. I feel misled. Yes, I can replace the battery, but that could be up to $135. I was under the impression that the phone would have already had the battery refurbished.

Has anyone else experienced this and did Koodo do anything about it if you contacted them?

Hi everyone, I was wondering if people feel like their negative core beliefs have become worse since developing/being diagnosed with OCD?

I don't know if this is internalized stigma, but I have this negative belief that I have been fighting about myself that I am hard to love/unlovable because of my mental illness. I didn't used to feel this way as much before my diagnosis, even though I was arguably a worse partner back then (disorganized attachment), but as I've worked on myself in CBT and ERP, and have done a lot of separate work on my attachment style, I feel like my OCD diagnosis in the last two years really made a dent in my self worth.

My therapist that I did CBT+ERP with has tried to get me to see mental illness as a spectrum, rather than black and white thinking (like ppl only exist in two boxes, one box is mentally ill, one box is "normal"). And while I know this on the surface, I feel like I really struggle to internalize it.

I had a relationship post ERP/CBT therapy and my past partner infantilized me a lot because of my illness once I opened up to them. It ended up being the reason why I broke up with them. But I think it really impacted my self esteem and self worth that someone would see me as incapable and weak, like a child, when friends in my life otherwise seem to see me as capable and strong, witnessing my journey from the depths of OCD hell to a mostly functional adult again.

Has anyone else struggled with these feelings? Do you have any suggestions on how you combat stigma internally, or externally, or how to feel comfortable with yourself? Thanks <3

So my situation is that I have a crush on my friend. We are what I would consider light friends. Historically, we see each other here and there, but usually only part of group settings. This person is not a member of my main friend group either. He actually asked me out a year ago, and I declined back then due to going through some issues of my own, but nothing really changed between us back then(same frequency of seeing each other in a group setting/interactions were the same).

A few weeks ago, I asked this person out on a date, because I started to crush on him instead. He ended up telling me that he's not ready for a relationship right now due to personal reasons, but that we could stay friends. I was totally fine with this, and figured we would just continue as we had been. He offered us to hangout, which I agreed to, hoping it would kill my crush faster.

But to me it feels like he seems much more interested in being closer friends than before I asked him on a date. We have done one on one hangouts each weekend since, each suggested by him, and then he asked me to hangout one on one again for a third weekend in a row (this time, to get ice cream together). When I couldn't because I was sick with a cold, he wished me better. Then, a few hours later, he offered to pickup anything I needed from the store to feel better. That part really caught me off guard because he seems quite reserved and does not have a car, so it would be fairly out of the way/time consuming for him to drop anything off at my house.

I know he could just be trying to be a nice friend, but I feel a bit off about these interactions, like they are laced with uncertainty? I don't know if I am just feeling this way because I have a crush on him, but it feels like escalating closeness, but with the "just friends" hanging over everything. Nothing he has done is technically non-platonic, but the rate at which this is happening since I asked him out is jumping out at me.

Is this an example of bread crumbing? Or am I just reading into this because of my feelings for him? or whatever you think?

I thought that if we had some hangouts as friends that I might move on faster. They say that a crush is just a lack of information. That hanging out together would dispel my feelings that I’ve held still after I confessed and you didn’t feel the same. And I’m grateful that you want to be friends still. I would say we became better friends honestly since I confessed.

But I need a break right now, because it’s not working. Every time we hangout I just feel stronger feelings for you, and I’m sorry. If I could turn them off, I really would. I have a great time when we’re together, but I find myself carrying heartbreak the days after. It’s not your fault, and I’m sorry that I have my own problems like this while you’ve been going through so much.

When we saw each other last, it meant more to me than it should. I kept telling myself it didn’t, but I’m just lying to myself because it’s kind of pathetic. It’s like my brain knows what is right but my heart doesn’t. And that’s not fair to you.

So I need to put some distance between us right now. I can’t look forward to our messages back and forth, so I’m not initiating sending them. I can’t look forward to seeing you and then feeling heartbroken after because I can’t get a grip. I’m sorry that seeing each other twice in two weeks was too much for me, even for little miss social.

I have to take some space from being your friend, so I can actually be your friend later. I’m sorry for all this and I hope you understand. Maybe you felt this last year. Or maybe the feelings I’m feeling are stronger than anything you felt back then. I tell myself it’s the same so I don’t feel so pathetic for feeling the way I do lol.

Wishing you the best and I hope that I can return to be your friend for real soon, but for now, I need this space

I have a crush on my friend. At one point he liked me, and I said no to a date. Then a different point I asked him out on a date and he said no. We’ve become better friends honestly since I confessed a few weeks ago, which has been great. I wouldn’t have asked him on a date if I didn’t enjoy hanging out with him!

But I really thought that it would help me to move on, hanging out as friends. I thought my feelings would fade as I learned more about him (they say a crush is just a lack of information). So, we’ve been hanging out and chatting but I’m really struggling to just let go mentally, when I thought I would already.

As for the OCD part- I feel like my brain won’t let go of his answer, which was a no but slightly ambiguous. It has been really increasing my rumination and letting it run wild. Even though I know we will not date, I’m really struggling to get my brain to stop turn off constant thinking and checking (social media).

I did ERP, mainly for contamination OCD, and that worked great. I don’t know how to do it for mental stuff? Should I just lock my phone up for a week? Or is that more like avoidance? I feel like I just open my phone on auto pilot. The algorithms have been so bad for me lately. They keep giving me subreddits of unsent love letters and tiktok keeps giving me tarot card readings that feel so aligned with my situation. So many songs are somehow about him. I’ve been trying to listen to music that doesn’t reinforce that he secretly likes me back, but my brain is doing mental gymnastics. I know in my heart that he’s not into me that way, and I have to let go.

I feel honestly out of control. I’ve been trying to meditate to bring myself out of my head and back into my body but the rumination is so frequent. I’m not on any OCD medication right now except for ADHD meds.

I’m trying to let the emotions pass through me, and to recognize the thought spirals, but they’re so strong. I feel like I’m trying to ride the wave but I’m being pulled by the under current.

Does anyone have any advice for how to approach this? I want to learn to better let this pass and to deal with these kinds of intrusive thoughts/rumination/compulsions. Thanks!

You liked me first, and I said no at the time. Now I’ve asked you, a year later, and you said no. And that’s okay :)

I liked you back at the time that you asked me, but what you didn’t know is that I was going through one of the toughest years of my life.

It was easier to just say that I was questioning my sexuality as to why I didn’t want to go on a date. It wasn’t a complete lie, but it was more complicated than that. I was a shell of my former self, and it was just a symptom of how bad things were in my inner world. In reality, the months prior I had suddenly started to experience horrible OCD. I went from solo backpacking the coastline as an independent and strong person to becoming someone who could barely leave my house anymore.

I couldn’t enter my living room, I lost 25lbs in a month because I couldn’t eat full meals because of intrusive thoughts telling me it was poisoned. I was washing my hands excessively. I was washing my eyes out. I couldn’t eat in restaurants or leave my house really. I was scared of intimacy because I feared the mixing of micro biomes and potential diseases. I wasnt me at all. It was like my life was suddenly possessed by another force, by OCD. I was masking at work, pretending to be fine, but in reality I wasn’t at all. So when I said I was questioning my sexuality, it was actually part of it of my OCD (sexuality OCD).

My therapist, she even told me to say yes to the date with you. That I should just follow how I felt, love whoever I wanted. But I had this fear of saying yes, because I felt like I could envision things getting serious. I liked you a little TOO much, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to show up properly. I was too sick. By blaming it on sexuality, I could give you a reason that had nothing to do with you, while not being fully vulnerable about how sick I really was.

At work, you brought me a lot of simple joy where it was heavily missing in my life. When you drew little caricatures of me. When you joked about me watching driving instructor videos in the background while we worked. When we would go for little walks. You just had this warm presence that made my world less small. Thank you for that, and for being a friend.

I did end up dating someone else as I started to get better. Being with her, while it didn’t work out, I solved my sexuality OCD. Around this time, I graduated therapy, and my therapist said that I was now in remission. I felt accomplished! Single again, I started to just try to enjoy living life again. Focusing on my friendships, on feeling whole again. I appreciated that you still let me into your life as a friend, even after the awkwardness. But I felt new. Now in remission, I was lowkey reborn! The best version of myself I had been so far!

Flash forward to March. When I saw you when we started working together again, it’s like you lit up the room when you walked in. I realized immediately that I had a huge crush on you. I tried to play it cool, but I wasn’t good at it. I started accepting rides with our coworkers so I could be spend more time together in the car. And you bumped my knee with yours to get my attention when we were in the back seat, I was filled with butterflies.

I loved talking with you, learning more about you. I decided I needed to tell you how I felt, and ask you on a date. I decided I would tell you how I felt at the end of the week. But then two days into that week, and you had to leave, go back home.

I tried not to be weird, I also wanted to support you too. So I tried to keep checking in while you were away, trying to offer any support that I could, if I could do anything to alleviate some of the pain you were going through. Obviously that is not possible. Grief is difficult and is not something someone can just alleviate from you. But I didn’t want you to feel forgotten, that life was just moving on without you. So I tried to make conversation and update you.

Eventually you came back. I told myself I would wait until the time was right to say anything. But I got greedy haha. I think me telling you how I felt the other day was more for me than it was for you, and I’m sorry for that. Just holding this secret for months was killing me. I didn’t really expect you to say yes, I hoped that it would at least be a compliment. Maybe I just weirded you out or stressed you out (sorry if that was the case).

I’m thankful that you were really nice about it. I know we will never happen but it was really nice to just have it out in the open. I do care for you, and want to be your friend. I’m really happy that you still want to be mine. My feelings I’m sure will dissipate eventually, as all crushes do. But, thanks for being kind about it. I wish you all the best with your own healing. While I don’t know that kind of loss and grief, I do know a little bit about things being at the wrong time.

Never could really get the timing right. But I’m happy to have you in my life at all. So thank you for being part of it! :)

I have a crush on you but I don’t know what to do. We work together, not all the time, but when we do it’s too close. But I like you. You’d been gone for over two months and I feel embarrassed to say that I thought about you too often. I’ve been thinking since before you left about how to ask you on a date. I was dreaming of when you’d come back and what I would say.

Now you’re back, and I can’t even find a way to talk to you like a normal person. You told me to come by whenever I’m around but I had this whole thing planned out on how to ask you on a date, but now I have cold feet, and I feel embarrassed because I’m scared to get rejected, but also scared to for it to work out?

Because what if you say no and it makes things awkward and we can’t be friends anymore? What if you said yes and we did go on a date? And what if we didn’t work out? Could we go back to being normal? Could we still work together?? I haven’t been able to make it past 2-3 years in any of my longterm relationships. Why am I delusional enough to think that this would be any different, if you did like me back?

I haven’t seen you since before you left. Maybe I’ve made you up in my mind. Our texts are pretty simple. But somehow they still mean a lot to me. I’m worried that I’ve imagined a version of you though, when I don’t really know you that well.

I go back and forth between telling you how I feel and just moving on, trying dating apps. My friend, she tells me I could find someone else, that I just have to look harder. My other friend is actively trying to be my wingman and arrange for us to hangout together. I don’t know what to do. I know what I want to do but I don’t think it’s the smart decision.

How do I make my heart stop aching? I just want to untether myself from this feeling. I feel so embarrassed

Hey my Canadians! I thought I’d share. I recently found out I’m allergic to limonene (a type of fragrance), and my dermatologist recommended me to go completely fragrance free. So, I’ve been looking into different fragrance free soaps, with only some success as there are limited options where I am.

I know of ones like the dove sensitive bar, and for my body soap I’ve been using an aveeno Calm and Restore body wash, which is working well so far!

But I was at Canadian Tire the other day and came across the most fragrance free soap I’ve ever seen. It’s called Guelph Soap, and they make a fragrance free bar. I brought it home and started using it as my main hand soap (as most pumpable soap I’ve found has fragrance).

I’m not affiliated with the brand or anything (not trying to promote or something) but I bought it on a whim to try and TRULY it smells like nothing, and it seems really gentle? My roommate who is not allergic to fragrance or fragrance free gave it a try and was like WOW it truly has NO SMELL.

Anyway, it’s been good so far! Just thought I’d share. Looks like it’s made locally too and has been an established company for a while. Not sure if it’s available across Canadian Tires but I found it at my local one in Ontario!! :)

Just wanted to share because it’s been really apparent to me going fragrance free that there are so few options on the market here!!

Long time migraine sufferer here wondering if anyone else has this symptom.

Recently I’ve been getting migraines where during the actual headache I get extreme sleepiness? Not before, and not after. But during the actual headache event.

It is almost like I am drugged up, I fall asleep extremely fast. I feel so light headed and dizzy, and massive brain fog, so I lay down. Then I feel so exhausted that it just comes over me fast.

Normally, I am incapable of napping, which is the weirdest part. I just woke up from a 4 hour migraine sleep in the middle of the day. It’s really frustrating because it affects my job. Does anyone else have this? I can’t even blame medication side effects because all I take is Advil and Tylenol for my migraines when i try to abort it (sometimes works, sometimes not).

These migraines I’ve had recently that are making me so sleepy are triggered by the weather, specifically.

Anyone else?