u/rblvi

Hi! For a warning english isint my first language so apologies if the text is a bit confusing at times.

Ive had problems with getting uhh like the soft kind of tonsil stones every now and then thats normal I think but my issue is that I'm kinda overly obsessive about them especially ever since I had a lot of them at once and they were super duper painful. Now I just have this ritual every night before bed where I like make my throat do this gag thing that forces them out if there are any. But anytime even one tiny harmless thing comes out I panic and do the motion for a while and make water go in my throat before quickly getting it out, which actually triggers a bit of my gag reflex and makes me cry.

I'm so overly paranoid about getting bigger stones since I can't get them out myself and have to wait it out, but any time I get visible ones I poke at my tonsils until I bleed and definitely is a risk for infections and stuff but I never care since I hate the dirty gunk more than anything.

Ive read that getting rid of my tonsils would make this go away, but I don't think they would easily give the surgery to me since they're not usually painful. That and I'm 20 years old, so the healing would hurt.

I'm wondering if the benefit of not ever having to obsess and risk infection would outweigh the negative of healing and surgery costs.

My girlfriend became disabled like a year ago and navigating it as her partner has been confusing, anytime we go out its a battle of me having to use all my strength to push her up ramps that were 100% originally meant for bikes or something and then they just went oh wait ig this counts as a wheelchair ramp cool no need to do that then!

One restaurant we went to had online "wheelchair accessible" oh cool! How convenient! WRONG!! They had removed the actual ramp and button for the door!! Why?? Who knows!!

I can clearly see that shes also mad but also just tired, being disabled takes a lot of energy and you might not have much left to be mad but I have all the energy in the world and I will use it to be upset with the world!!

ALSO!! ONE TIME THE WHEELCHAIR ELEVATOR WAS TOO NARROW TO FIT A NORMAL WHEELCHAIR?!? ACCESSIBLE MY ASS.

This all has brought me a completely new perspective on the world and it makes me angry. Especially for people who don't have able bodied girlfriends to carry them around, why do people expect everyone to have working legs and arms?? Thats so stupid!!

If it had been me who got disabled I wouldve committed some kind of crime by now out of anger and hatred. How can she still be a nice and fun person and not be filled with rage I dont understand.

I would love to know how people deal with this though.

I recently got a irobot roomba 675 from a relative and I want to make it have a controller so my girlfriend could vacuum wherever she wants to since I go out a lot (shes disabled and cant pick up a heavy vacuum😞)

Apparently it is possible with like coding and building and stuff but I've never done that, I know the very basics of robot stuff bc I'm really interested in it but I mainly do like art stuff, not robots.

So if anyone has any idea on how hard it would be and how long it would take someone like me that would be awesome. I'm very determined and learn quickly so I think I could learn a bit of harder stuff if needed.

Okay thanks yay.

I know I have partial DID, I've done everything to research for so long, talked to my therapist and psychiatrist and even got the diagnosis process started as they both agreed I have it.

But then I moved places and my new city thinks I'm not crazy enough to take seriously, and apparently my country doesn't even see P-DID as a thing. So basically, I have everything and everyone telling me yeah its P-DID, but I can't get an official diagnosis bc everything in my country is currently hot ass.

I've spent my whole entire life already going "yes I am normal yes everybody else also have other people in their head who occasionally take over the body and I can't do anything but watch what they get up to for an hour yes this is fine" and suddenly oh! Thats actually NOT normal so trying to convince myself to think otherwise has been so hard and I feel like such an imposter for not having a diagnosis even though I will never have a diagnosis since I don't actually have full DID, I have P-DID and its different enough to be dismissed from a DID diagnosis but knowing my countries healthcare I'll guess that its still close enough to actual DID not get me the diagnosis of "other dissociative disorder"

So yay me and my weird fucked up head full of random people that were apparently NOT supposed to be there.

I know I have partial DID, I've done everything to research for so long, talked to my therapist and psychiatrist and even got the diagnosis process started as they both agreed I have it.

But then I moved places and my new city thinks I'm not crazy enough to take seriously, and apparently my country doesn't even see P-DID as a thing. So basically, I have everything and everyone telling me yeah its P-DID, but I can't get an official diagnosis bc everything in my country is currently hot ass.

I've spent my whole entire life already going "yes I am normal yes everybody else also have other people in their head who occasionally take over the body and I can't do anything but watch what they get up to for an hour yes this is fine" and suddenly oh! Thats actually NOT normal so trying to convince myself to think otherwise has been so hard and I feel like such an imposter for not having a diagnosis even though I will never have a diagnosis since I don't actually have full DID, I have P-DID and its different enough to be dismissed from a DID diagnosis but knowing my countries healthcare I'll guess that its still close enough to actual DID not get me the diagnosis of "other dissociative disorder"

So yay me and my weird fucked up head full of random people that were apparently NOT supposed to be there.

I finally realised "oh aphantasia is what the hell is happening to me this whole time" last night while talking about all kinds of stuff with my girlfriend. Anyway she explained to me how she actually sees dreams, like actually experiences them and sometimes even has difficulty knowing whats real and whats a dream. I just have like, the idea of a dream. I always know I'm dreaming since I cant see or feel anything, to me dreaming is exactly like thinking in a dark room.

At first I was a bit jealous, I've had awesome dreams, you mean I could've experienced flying in space? Instead of my lame thinking thing. But then I thought about it more and actually nevermind, wouldn't that be scary as hell?? Being forced to actually look and hear whatever the hell your mind can think of?? Not know if its real??

She also told me that whenever she has a song stuck in her head she can actually kinda hear it instead of just think it, weird

My girlfriend used to treat me like a princess all the time, bring me whatever I wanted, do chores if I didnt feel like it, cook for me and even carry me around if I asked nicely. It was a lot of fun and she loved doing it so much. But then her health got bad, she could do less and less, and then POTS hit and took almost every bit of that princess treatment away.

Now I'm a full time caregiver instead of a princess.

I can tell it affects her more than me, shes more upset about not doing it than me so I try to assure her I dont mind, but I do. I miss it so much.

I have to do everything now. And it doesn't bother me when i have to do things like bring her stuff to bed or help her get around, but I hate cleaning.

I miss when she would pick up a plate I accidentally left on a table, move my paint stuff to the side or sort out a mess on the floor. But she cant. She cant bring me treats from the store when my head hurts, she cant pick me up when I feel weak, she cant cook whenever she wants. I hate pretending to not care to make her feel better. I miss my girlfriend. And I hate that shitty doctors who didnt want to give her surgery to fix her back and one shitty influenza that gave her POTS took my sweet doting girlfriend away from me and left me with this crying mess whos in pain all the time.

I also dont think caregiving will fully get easier to handle emotionally, I never asked for this. I thought turning 20 would mean parties and fun not worrying about someone all the time because if I'm not next to her she might fall over fainting and hit her head.

I love her and i dont want her in pain, and ill never leave her, but god I wish she could one day just get up and pick me up to spin me around again. But itll probably never happen again.

My budgies (1year old male and 6year old girl) have their cage set up infront of a window, so every night about 10-30min before their bedtime I go close the blinds and pull the curtain over it, I dont yet put the cover on so they have a bit of darker wind down time.

But during this time if theres no nearby lights on the girl goes up on the highest perch in a corner and wont let him on it and even beaks him off! She doesn't even sleep there and he does! He seems to just want to go to his sleep spot to relax before sleeping but she wont let him and I dont understand, I would understand if she was doing the alpha girl bird thing of claiming the highest perch for bed time as apparently thats what they do, but when I approach them with their cage cover she immediately gets off and goes to her actual sleeping spot.

Is there a reason she does this? It does seem to be her favourite perch during the day, i carved it out of wood so its a nice shape for their little feet and i assume its great for her, but why does she fight him off if she wont sleep on it?

Especially since the boy doesn't really care where he sleeps apparently, and sometimes wanders around at night in their cage looking where he shall sleep this time and she always sleeps at the same spot (the few times he tried sleeping there she has beaked him off in the dark)

Yeah so if anyone knows why she does this that would be great

Oh and the birds get along nicely usually, i think theyre bird dating if thats a thing

Our little guy has apparently decided that screetching at the top of his lungs and making sound that could break glass every morning is an important part of his morning routine.

I looked it up and since hes happy and will often grind his beak right after this just means hes genuinely so happy to be awake he shows it by making the loudest noise his tiny bird body can.

My problem is just that its really really really loud and might one day cause me a headache so I'm wondering if theres anything that could be done so he might realise he can show his excitement in another way.

If not I guess Ill have to either get really good noise cancelling headphones.

Hello! About half a year ago my girlfriend had influenza and ended up getting pots, she already has back pain stuff so it hit extra hard. She was really sick for like a week and ended up loosing almost 10kg, and hasnt been able to gain it back. She used to be pretty normal weight so it was really bad for her. Her POTS is really bad and shes weak often, only being good whenever her weight is slightly better.

But its basically impossible to gain weight it seems! Her heart is beating so fast it burns every calorie imaginable the second she even breathes, not to mention how you cant even eat that much at a time since itll make your body go crazy.

Shes trying to have more like protein high stuff, and I'm trying to see where in Finland I could get stuff thats really high in calories.

But does anyone have anything that could maybe help up her weight, I bought like meal bars (i think thats what theyre called, they're supposed to replace a meal but you can i think use them to gain weight as well, even if they are meant for weight loss) but I'm a bit worried they will also do nothing.

It just feels like nothing will help, luckily she hasnt lost weight but still.

Oh also! If anyone knows whats the best way to get more salt please do let me know, or anything that might help her in general, I want her to feel better and shes always so upset about her health, so any tips will do.

My girlfriend is much taller than me, and I'm not a very strong person, she uses a rollator but sometimes she cant use it or has to go to places that are in no way accessible (we are going to her friends party next week and its in a i think second or third floor apartment with no lift)

She also has a wheelchair but our own apartment is not at all accessible to it.

So does anybody have any tips on whats the best way to help her get around sometimes without lifting her up since I cant do that, she could technically lean on me but mostly refuses to do that since shes afraid ill be smushed, and shes kinda right since doing that can hurt.

I'm especially now thinking about how I could possibly help her up the stairs.

For reference she has severe POTS so she can technically walk unassisted but its not good for her.

Basically we've had the little guy for about 2 months (hes a year old now) and whenever i leave for more than 15 minutes he starts to freak out for a bit, then calm down and then in 20 minutes freak out again and repeat this cycle until i come home. Our older girl also freaks out a bit but not as much. The weird thing is they dont do this when my girlfriend leaves, just me.

My guess is why its only me is that i often leave for multiple hours or even days to see friends or family or go to the store etc, while my girlfriend is always at home due to being disabled. I think they know she will always be back but with me they freak out since what if this time im away for days again.

Its suddenly gotten worse in the last few weeks tho, he used to be a bit better before but now hes even freaking out if im just in another room for too long (more than a few hours with the door shut)

One thing I do whenever I'm away is i'll call my girlfriend who puts me on speaker so the birds can hear me and that seems to help a bit.

Is there anything I can do for him? Whenever i try to look stuff up its just suggesting being away in another room but I already do that and hes mostly fine then.

Oh also my girlfriend is literally right next to them the whole time I'm away since she loves them so much, but it doesn't help like no matter how much attention they have from people its never enough. Just now im the other room and he was making so much noise every few minutes but when i went to say hi he just pretended that nothing ever happened and went back to being a happy guy.

These birds confuse me, I kinda miss how easy it was to tell what a dog thinks, but I do also love these guys, they just worry me

I feel so bad, and I'm not sure if this makes me a horrible person or not.

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I started dating my girlfriend 2 years ago, and when we started dating she was completely fine, but then a few months later her health started declining quickly, she could no longer really move on bad days and has to take meds in the morning and evenings, also sleeps so much now. It was frustrating but I managed, bc I love her so much.

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But a few months ago she got influenza and ended up getting POTS. She now has to have a rollator and/or wheelchair no matter where we go.

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I was already frustrated before, but its much worse now. In general I have a bad habit of being easily irritated, but whenever she has bad days I almost get angry. I try to stay as calm as possible, I wont break up with her ever. I love her and I want to have a cute lesbian wedding with big pretty dresses. But its hard, I get jealous of my friends with able bodied partners, they can just go out whenever, do fun stuff and not have to worry that going out one day will potentially put someone on bed rest for the next entire day.

​ In general taking care of her all the time by myself is exhausting, I rarely get to do anything without worrying about her, its draining

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Am I the only one? I dont want to tell her this since she already feels bad for me having to deal with her and says she ruined my life, I dont think she ruined my life, and I think staying with her is worth it even if its shitty sometimes.

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She keeps ignoring stuff she can shred and instead uses the wood perch, or the curtain thats just barely in her reach and has now discovered the plastic bits that keep the cage together

Ive tried giving her stuff thats safer to shred but she thinks everything new is evil and refuses to go near it

What can i do?