u/resilienced

I thought I was saved from this phase because it didn’t start happening until very recently and he’s about to be 5. This everything is mine mindset has led to other kids being hurt. He ripped out a child’s hearing aid and is still fixated on getting his hands on it even though I’ve explained more times than I can count that it hurts his friend and he doesn’t need hearing aids his hearing is perfect. He’ll grab things out of my hand and run with them screaming mine. If he doesn’t get his hands on it he has an absolute meltdown. Hell we won’t even be by anything he wants but he’ll remember seeing something earlier in the day and start screaming “noooo [name of item] mine mine mine” and freaking out.

My breaking point today was we were at target and I was paying at the self checkout in 2 seconds he’s 5 feet away from me ripping the shoes off a baby while wailing mine. Obviously terrified the baby and embarrassed the fuck out of me. Every time this happens he is told something along the lines of “it’s okay to see something cool and look at it but we do not grab things off/from people” it’s been almost a month of this and idk how much more I can take before I lose it.

Never let your guard down fr. I’ve been sick countless times over these 15 years but my asthma has never been an issue during those times. I got sick Friday. It’s just a virus and I knew that so I’ve been self medicating with OTC. Last night my sinuses were killing me so I do what I always do when I’m sick and steam myself in the bathroom. I sat down for 2 minutes in the steam and all the sudden it felt like my airway closed and I couldn’t inhale a breath. I got so lucky my girlfriend came home from work early last night and that we live close to a EMS station. It felt like forever for the ambulance to get here I heard the sirens for a long time before I saw them and I was laid in the parking lot trying so hard to get air into my lungs but my chest was tight and my vision was blacking out by the time they got to me. Treatments in the ambulance got me able to breathe again and I spent 4 hours in triage thinking that had to of been pneumonia. Nope just a severe asthma attack when I haven’t had an asthma attack in 15 years. I even had a doctor tell me when I was 20 I probably outgrew my asthma. Well if I did it came back with a vengeance I’ve never been closer to death before. I’ve always thought the worst way to die would be burning alive and that felt like burning alive from the inside an impending doom that you have no control over.

My 4 year old son started prek 3 weeks ago. Previously he had been in daycare his first year of life then home with me where I admit I didn’t socialize him as much I should have been. So I thought the transition to being with kids was gonna be rough. It wasn’t. It went perfectly. The teachers said he was amazing right off the bat he was making friends and having great days. He actually hates leaving school because he loves it so much he had a meltdown almost everyday when leaving.

So we are in week 3 and things were rough over the weekend before school. His behavior has been very aggressive and Loud. Anything doesn’t go exactly his way he’s falling to the ground kicking and screaming or pushing me screaming. He has always kinda been like this since toddlerhood but I thought it was normal and we got through it. It changed a lot after he started school he was very calm and sweet. Now he’s acting to the teachers and other students the way he was at home before he started school. Having to use a lot of safe hands, refusing to listen to teachers, not sharing. Is this just a bump in the road?

I make this game so much harder than it should be because I’ll be 20 minutes in a quest in the middle of the night dark at searching for some random herbs and I usually don’t remember eagle eye is a thing until I already find the herbs

I go to the grocery store with my 4 year old son. Always an overstimulating task but made much worse when it’s busy and hot as balls. I park next to another cx30 don’t think anything of it. Go in, do my shopping, at one point I am dodging an ex coworker of mine that I have an awkward history with and finally have a breath of relief when I get all checked out. Walk to my car. Try to open the trunk and nothing is happening. I’m fully shaking the car trying to brute force the trunk open I don’t understand. I even pull out the key and start pressing unlock and I hear it beeping like it unlocked so I don’t even think this can’t be my car. Move onto trying to open all the door while aggressively pressing the unlock button and continuing to hear beeps like it’s unlocking. I finally realized I’m at the wrong car when I looked inside. Drenched in sweat embarrassed and feeling a bit stupid because my car was closer to the store I literally had to walk by it to get to this car. Then I go to my actual car and what do you know? The man I was trying to avoid inside the store was parked next to me on the other side and saw the entire thing.

I have never had something like this happen to me before and I saw they had a dashcam I wonder if they watched the footage and saw a random woman trying to break into their car for 5 minutes.

My son keeps asking to go to the store to get him a chef hat and apron but we’ve been to gordon’s food supply store, michael’s, hobby lobby, target, walmart. No luck. I know they sell them online and if there’s no leads on this post I’ll just end up doing that my son just likes the experience of going to the store and buying something since he’s 4. I already searching the term chef hat on this sub and didn’t find anything related to what I’m looking for

He passed 5 years ago and we had a good relationship before he passed but he struggled a lot with raising me. Repeating cycles and all that. At the beginning of my life I lived with both him and my grandma although they had not been together for a decade by the time I was born. When I was 6 my grandma moved across the country to take care of her mother and my grandpa lost grip. Would beat me daily. Wouldn’t feed me unless I cooked it myself. Lost it on me over the smallest things. I’m pretty sure he had OCD.

After a few years of constant abuse and no one helping me I concocted the idea of messing with his food in order to get back at him. As an adult I’m not proud of this. We lived in an old beat down single wide trailer with leaks and mold everywhere. I look back and am shocked he never got seriously sick from that.

When I was 12 my grandma moved back with us and one of the first things she asked was about the stains on the ceiling in the kitchen. I pretended to not know what it was. I think I told her years later but the convo is foggy. He died never knowing I did that for months maybe even up to a year before I realized it was staining the ceiling and I should stop.

EDIT: I think I need to make it clear I did this as a child. Probably 7/8 when I was throwing the hamburger on the ceiling. And my grandpa was not an elderly frail man. He was a blue collar man with his own lil farm he was strong and athletic to his very last day. Teen pregnancy ran rampant in my family he was only 42 when I was born. And I’m a woman. He was beating a little girl daily for years. Destroyed any bit of confidence that I had and I’m still working to gain back at 27.

CW: SH

I feel like a horrible mom. I have PMDD and CPTSD and today was horrible. In the sense that it felt like everything was going wrong and I couldn’t keep up but I didn’t lose my cool on my son. It was so small. Just getting ready for bedtime and finally I can lay in bed and recover from the day. We were in the tiny bathroom he was using the toilet and I bumped into the counter and a bunch of things fell. It wasn’t even a big deal but I absolutely lost it.

I broke down crying and turned around and slammed the door into my head repeatedly while screaming a bunch of self hatred at myself. It absolutely scared my son. I wanted to comfort him but I could barely breathe. I just got him in bed and told him I was sorry and that I loved him.

I planned on going back into his room and reconnecting with him after I calmed down but I spiraled so badly and every time I could calm down a little bit I’d get worked up again. By the time I could think and looked okay he was asleep.

I instantly regretted losing my composure in front of him. This isnt even the first time. Last year I had another breakdown but I was hitting myself in the head with my hands and crying. That’s something he imitated for months and I felt like the worst mother ever. I worked with him for months and we just finally got over it I thought but I go and fuck it all up again.

I know I need professional help but it’s out of reach

I’m 27 and just started drinking for the first time in my life. I grew up around alcoholics and swore I’d never become that but 2 weeks ago I quit weed after daily heavy use for 2 years and I was itching for anything. Drank an entire bottle of malibu that had been in my fridge for 3 years untouched in 1 night. Realized wtf am I doing and didn’t drink for a week as much as I was itching for it the entire time. So I researched alcohol that’s easy to drink with a high percentage so I’d get drunk fast and bought a bottle of triple triple jameson. I have drank half the thing in 2 hours and I feel like I need to keep going idk if I just don’t know the feeling of drunk and it’s not enough or what. I’m 5’3 140 pounds and a woman. According to the BAC calculators online I should be feeling it and yet I’m continuing to drink this as I pace around wondering when it will kick it. Did my bloodline being full of alcoholics make me metabolize alcohol fast or what

I’m about to be 28. My worst abuser in my childhood bought me a diary for Christmas when I was 8(?) and I was soooo excited. Of course as a child I think my diary is personal I would write how I didn’t like this man in my journal and the things that he did to me. One night he used my sister’s voice to unlock my diary (it was one of those early 2000s voice locked journals) and screamed what I wrote at me while pushing me, kicking me, hitting me, dragging me by my hair to my room. Whole nine yards. Reenacting what I wrote it in while I felt so humiliated because I thought those entries were safe with me and I knew my mom would be angry I wrote those things too she always wanted to keep the blinds on. He then burned my journal and I cried all night I was so excited when I got that for Christmas. He always knew how to load me down with gifts on the holidays just to torture me and hold them over my head on regular days.

Throughout life I’ve tried to pickup journaling and have never been able to stick with it because I just end up stripping down my thoughts until I can write them in a way where I wouldn’t mind if someone read them. I feel my heart race faster, my hands sweat and shake. It would freak me out to write down my actual thoughts so bad.

I finally feel safe. My girlfriend and I have been living together for almost 3 years and I know she would never read my journal. For the first time in my life journaling has been cathartic and doesn’t feel pointless. I’m so excited to start journaling again it feels like I just got a piece of me back.