u/ricksalterego

Here’s the deal, I don’t feel female or male, but I love to wear ultra femme clothing and I am a femme lesbian non binary gender nonconforming person (I am gender nonconforming internally not externally). Thing is, I don’t want top surgery, cause I like my A cup breast. and I like to wear female clothing.

Is this valid? It’s more about some aspect of my body I don’t like (the only thing I am dysphoric about is female reproductive system) and some social gender roles that gives me gender dysphoria, my gender dysphoria is very selective as I would describe.
It’s more like “ I am not necessarily a woman, yet I am not born in the wrong body, cause I see my female body as aesthetics instead of reproductive system”.

Here’s the deal, I don’t feel female or male, but I love to wear ultra femme clothing and I am a femme lesbian non binary gender nonconforming person (I am gender nonconforming internally not externally). Thing is, I don’t want top surgery, cause I like my A cup breast. and I like to wear female clothing.

Is this valid? It’s more about some aspect of my body I don’t like (the only thing I am dysphoric about is female reproductive system) and some social gender roles that gives me gender dysphoria, my gender dysphoria is very selective as I would describe.
It’s more like “ I am not necessarily a woman, yet I am not born in the wrong body, cause I see my female body as aesthetics instead of reproductive system”.

I have a long history of gender discovery!

To begin with, I am born female, I thought I was a trans man from 2013 to around 2020, I desisted a bit back then, in which I was kinda back to being my female identity again (but I felt extremely uneasy as a woman, since I never felt like a woman), and now, I identify as nonbinary or genderfluid. (And I came out to everyone on June during this pride month).

Like said, my journey was in fact a long discovery. The only reason why I desist to being female again is because I liked wearing feminine and sexy clothing, my gender dysphoria is very selective, I don’t hate my voice, my face, my petite frame, my chest, my hips… etc, but what I am dysphoric about is my period and reproductive system as well as gender roles for woman or be viewed as a woman sometimes (you get it, and I really think gender dysphoria is on a spectrum, and it looks different for everyone).

During the time I was desisted, I was groomed by the detransition grifter like Chloe Cole, she gave off “back to the cult of womanhood” vibe, and as a gender nonconforming woman I don’t like those people(and I figured I might not be a woman at all). I also figured I wasn’t a detransitioner at all either, I was just groomed by the detransitioner people or the alt right grifters on youtube.

And now, I can confidently say that I am a non binary person again! I never feel like I belong to a single gender! I was never cisgender,babe!

For my pronouns, all pronouns whether you use “she” or “he” it’s all fine. I still go by she/her primarily because I present feminine. But you know what pronouns doesn’t mean gender!

I HATED THIS SAYING!
It is not only untrue but laughable, cause as a career woman who also has some gender dysphoria, pregnancy dysphoria, and is super gender nonconforming, plus is a huge lesbian, tradwife is the last thing I wanna be! And something I swear I will never be, I might be female, but I think I am not a woman by Brett Cooper’s definition! Because I don’t fit gender roles of a woman !

And I can say what those commentary’s saying are not only not true, IT IS SO STUPID!

Also who believe the saying “tomboy will grew out of it” is a fascist propaganda?

Like, I am almost 30, I am in my mid late 20s I am still a tomboy and will always be ! Yeah the fascist needs more trad wives or caretakers, so they all spread this toxic rhetoric! Well, then how do you explain me? Like, I wanna be a boss babe forever!

Can’t describe how much I hate those people! Anyways, how do I channel my anger instead of ranting on reddit!?

Also, here to say to all “toxic trad wives”, if you wanna be a tradwife, fine ! But don’t hate on boss babe and feminists!

Or why are people like Brett Cooper say such extreme and stupid things !?

Last time, I stated “My body is for art, not for pregnancy”, this is like my life motto now, since pregnancy dysphoria is really a thing that I cannot just ignore, or it’s also a motto for me to not feel bad about my body.

I also have severe body dysmorphia, that’s why pregnancy even thoughts of pregnancy makes me suicidal, like, I am the type of person who even has a fear of eating too much and getting fat, let alone pregnancy !

I hated having a female body that can carry! I felt disgusting! Pregnancy has to be the most disgusting thing I’d heard!(like, my phobia or hatred of pregnancy is literally worse than my fear of death). It is like my top one phobia!

But how did you not feel bad for your body being “baby machine”, I swear I heard this term I am going to punch someone!

I am asking for body positivity views here!
How can I see and view my body outside of baby making?

I have OCD and anxiety predominantly, and some anger issues, even hearing about government pushing women to have more kids makes me feel anxious or angry.

Also one question, how does pregnancy dysphoria and body dysmorphia differentiate from gender dysphoria?

New post not showing on my profile ! Is it a reddit error?

Or is it possible to live as cisgender without identifying as trans or transition?

I’d seen many of you still struggle with gender dysphoria, now did you cope?

The “Female body is made for reproduction” narrative is what gives me severe body dysphoria.
Now, as a woman who has severe pregnancy dysphoria reminding myself this is what cures my dysphoria.

Cause I see my body as a piece of art, not made for pregnancy, or sex, or whatever… this whole “my body is made for art, not pregnancy” mindset is like my coping mechanism to deal with all sorts of dysphoria or body dysmorphia, I am 100% sure pregnancy is not my thing because I also have body dysmorphia, fear of weigh gain …etc
Whenever someone said my body is made for pregnancy, it increased my desire to get rid of my parts.(my friends all encouraged me to not because it ain’t healthy).

Plus, I am a lesbian, so, no sex with you sir!

I genuinely don’t know if I should label this post “rant” or “humor”, cause not wanted to get pregnant is like my entire character now, and I wanna to inspire other female on how they should see their body outside of baby making.

Like, instead of thinking my body is made for pregnancy or sex, how can I view my body?
I mean, how did you all view your body?? Do you see yourselves as just a living thing or something more? Or literally… the “MY BODY IS NOT MADE FOR PREGNANCY, IT IS MADE FOR ART” quote should be my motto. and I felt like making an art out of it!

The “Female body is made for reproduction” narrative is what gives me severe gender dysphoria.
Now, as a cisgender woman who has severe pregnancy dysphoria reminding myself this is what cures my dysphoria.

Cause I see my body as a piece of art, not made for pregnancy, or sex, or whatever… this whole “my body is made for art, not pregnancy” mindset is like my coping mechanism to deal with gender dysphoria or body dysmorphia, I am 100% sure pregnancy is not my thing because I also have body dysmorphia, fear of weigh gain …etc
Whenever someone said my body is made for pregnancy, it increased my desire to retransition or get rid of my parts.

Plus, I am a lesbian, no sex with you sir!

I genuinely don’t know if I should label this post “vent” or “inspiring positivity”, cause not wanted to get pregnant is like my entire character now, and I wanna to inspire other female on how they should see their body outside of baby making.

Like, instead of thinking my body is made for pregnancy or sex, how can I view my body?
I mean, how did you all view your body?? Do you see yourselves as just a living thing or something more? Or literally… the “MY BODY IS NOT MADE FOR PREGNANCY, IT IS MADE FOR ART” quote should be my motto. and I felt like making an art out of it!

Detransition had never cured my gender dysphoria, if not it makes my gender dysphoria worse!
Like, I have always wanted to be a boy, I am the happiest when I act like a boy and do boys things, being a boy to me is freedom, and being feminine or having some aspects of female body parts makes me gender dysphoric. I am well aware I am female, and I also identifies as a female, but really, my subconscious mind still wants me to be a boy. (This happened the most when I was forced to be more feminine by people).

Or can I say every time when I see the tradwife trend and how alt right conservatives talk about gender roles it makes my blood boil and triggered my long gone gender dysphoria! Like, I have severe hatred for anything deemed feminine as a total tomboy or gender nonconforming woman ! I do not have autism, it’s more like I consciously choose to not do feminine things, because I hate them. Anyways, here are my

- Top 1, my hatred for pregnancy, or severe disgust and anxiety surrounding pregnancy or simply thinking about pregnancy and seen pregnant people makes me gender dysphoric too. My hatred and disgust for pregnancy has always being with me it’s only gotten more severe because of the trad wife trend!

- Top 2, I hate femininity! Like said I was always a tomboy, and will remain a tomboy who hate anything girly, and the more tradwife tik tok I watch the more mad I get, they’re literally the regressives that told me woman cannot do manly things, as a tomboy online, or a masc woman, I am so sick of those regressives or pick me people ; the more trendy the trad wife gets, the more I hate womanhood and become less empowering, cause I have no idea how to be a masculine woman in today’s society. I also came across conservative karens on the street who make judgmental claims that I “will one day appreciate being a tradwife”, no bitch, cause I AM A LESBIAN!!!

- Top 3, like said, being a lesbian, I sometimes just wish I could be a man, because I think like a man, act like a man, and liked women, but I know I will NEVER be a man, that’s a sad truth!

Those three points I make sometimes triggers retransition thoughts because I have OCD, I am in therapy but it doesn’t work, cause my whole gender shit is a laundry list long and it’s complicated.

So yeah, the top three of my “gender dysphoria”is still here, and the more I detransition, the more I realize my reasons to transition is how bad I wanted to become a man and how masculine I am, I mean traditional gender roles and femininity is what gives me the most gender dysphoria (not clothing, cause I still present very femme). It’s more like I wanted to do manly things, live my life as a man, and act like a man (I hated when someone tell me to act submissive or nice too, I hated those karens !). I mean those people gave me gender dysphoria!

I just came out as a lesbian, and I got backlash, I had no experience with dealing with both homophobia and sexism.

So, to begin with I wanna to talk a bit about my background first.

I was always hated because I am gender nonconforming. I was bullied so badly (even now).

I mean, “tomboys will grew out of it!” I think we all heard this term right? This term is nothing but pure bigotry in my opinion! Or can I just say gender nonconformity is so hated in general?

And because I NEVER grew out of my tomboy phase, and is sure I will be a masculine woman all my life and living a stereotypical manly lifestyle, like, I am literally everything you will assume what a tomboy is like, and YES! I am also a lesbian that’s more career oriented than family oriented, I always have a distaste for anything feminine (except outfit, I dress super femme, I am okay with dressing feminine, despite that I still have short hair).

But thing is I hate gender roles with all my passion, and I especially hate concepts such as housewife, mother, and pregnancy (pregnancy has to be the worst thing I’ve ever heard!). And now I think my entire character is literally about rebelling against traditional gender roles.(I mean, my bullies and haters fuels my passion for fighting gender roles).

And yes! Because I am this walking stereotype of a “tomboyish lesbian” I am often the butt of jokes.
This is not just about my sexuality of being a lesbian that got me so stigmatized, also me still identifying as a woman while being gender nonconforming.(I do not identify as trans, not anymore though).

And because I am so gender nonconforming I once thought I was a trans man, but I had quit trans man identity because I dont want to be a man, I am just a masculine woman.
But HOW do you be a masculine woman, in a society (in my perspective) that hates gender nonconformity and will punish those that breaks gender roles (for context I am surrounded by Christians and conservatives, I hate those people so much !)

I mean, being a minority woman sucks !
Can anyone introduce some woman I can look up to, because personally I have no role model in my life. I am the only masculine lesbian I know.

I know I don’t count as butch because I don’t necessarily present masculine, but I am still gender nonconforming in so many aspects. So I need advice from masculine women on how to overcome the whole social stigmatization for someone like me.

I was always hated because I am gender nonconforming. I was bullied so badly (even now).

I mean, “tomboys will grew out of it!” I think we all heard this term right? This term is nothing but pure bigotry in my opinion! Or can I just say gender nonconformity is so hated in general?

And because I NEVER grew out of my tomboy phase, and is sure I will be a masculine woman all my life and living a stereotypical manly lifestyle, like, I am literally everything you will assume what a tomboy is like, and YES! I am also a lesbian that’s more career oriented than family oriented, I always have a distaste for anything feminine (except outfit, I dress super femme, I am okay with dressing feminine, despite that I still have short hair).

But thing is I hate gender roles with all my passion, and I especially hate concepts such as housewife, mother, and pregnancy (pregnancy has to be the worst thing I’ve ever heard!). And now I think my entire character is literally about rebelling against traditional gender roles.(I mean, my bullies and haters fuels my passion for fighting gender roles).

And yes! Because I am this walking stereotype of a “tomboyish lesbian” I am often the butt of jokes.
This is not just about my sexuality of being a lesbian that got me so stigmatized, also me still identifying as a woman while being gender nonconforming.(I do not identify as trans, not anymore though).

And because I am so gender nonconforming I once thought I was a trans man, but I had quit trans man identity because I dont want to be a man, I am just a masculine woman.
But HOW do you be a masculine woman, in a society (in my perspective) that hates gender nonconformity and will punish those that breaks gender roles (for context I am surrounded by Christians and conservatives, I hate those people so much !)

I mean, being a minority woman sucks !
Can anyone introduce some woman I can look up to, because personally I have no role model in my life. I am the only masculine lesbian I know.

I think the reason for my transition was obvious, it was literally because I was always a tomboy (but with no support or validation because environment I grew up is both religious and conservative). I was almost never exposed to masculine women.

And I learned about being a trans man earlier than I learn about being a tomboy or masculine woman is valid !
Like, all people around me were just saying “tomboys will grew out of it!” Like, NO BITCH I will be a tomboy forever, like why is masculine tomboyish lesbian women like me so hated? Yeah, I was treated as a joke, or a stereotype, of being who I am. I was severely bullied.

Anyways, I wish I could just be a total tomboy or the most masculine woman to ever exist without transitioning.

When I identify as trans man, my life got ruined my breast and my posture got ruined! my appearance got ruined ! When I think about how long I have being identifying as a trans man, I felt bad ! And thought I was dumb.

If someone said to me “it’s okay to be a tomboy” I won’t ever transition! But almost no one supports my decision to just exist as a masculine girl !

Yeah, my culture is strict on gender roles.
It makes me feel terrible I have always hated femininity and gender roles since when I was young, but femininity is pushed onto me, being a tomboy (and a lesbian is hard !)

How do you survive in a society that literally hates masculine woman ?

I was fooled by the trans ideology, because apparently, if I act like a boy, I need to present like a boy and that I was always this “closeted trans man”, like, why can’t a girl like me present feminine and do boys things?

I think this is also a lack of representatives in media.
Like, we need more feminine presenting badasses in TV shows! Any opinions to add?

This is really something I need to talk about, because femininity is so hated in general.
I also wanna to talk about the girly girl and tomboy stereotypes here (since I am someone who broke both stereotypes).

For me I think I am a great example of this “feminine presenting badass” trope, because as my friends stated, I am someone who act like a tomboy, but also liked wearing skirts and feminine clothing, also tomboy in my opinion is not about clothing, it’s about attitude and personality.

So, I was always called a tomboy, well, obviously not because I wear boys clothing, it’s more because I act like a boy and liked to do boys things, aside from that I love the color pink and dress extremely feminine and sexy, so by definition I have the most masculine or tomboyish personality, yet, I also have the girliest style.

Growing up I have always liked the magical girl trope because they are feminine presenting and can also fight, thing is we don’t see that a lot.

And I rarely meet someone like me in real life, yeah I wasn’t like the other girls, because I act like a boy, and I wasn’t like the other tomboys too because I do not like to wear boys clothing, I dress extremely feminine and pink coded. I guess I am a “girly tomboy” or I really think the girly and tomboyish stereotypes are dumb (and harmful) because it put people into boxes.

It’s like if a girl were a girl boss or fighter we need to make her look masculine, this is regressive and we see this a lot in modern media, I mean, as a “girly tomboy” I felt kinda lonely because there’s rarely representations for someone like me.

This is really something I need to talk about, because femininity is so hated in general.
I also wanna to talk about the girly girl and tomboy stereotypes here (since I am someone who broke both stereotypes).

For me I think I am a great example of this “feminine presenting badass” trope, because as my friends stated, I am someone who act like a tomboy, but also liked wearing skirts and feminine clothing, also tomboy in my opinion is not about clothing, it’s about attitude and personality.

So, I was always called a tomboy, well, obviously not because I wear boys clothing, it’s more because I act like a boy and liked to do boys things, aside from that I love the color pink and dress extremely feminine and sexy, so by definition I have the most masculine or tomboyish personality, yet, I also have the girliest style.

Growing up I have always liked the magical girl trope because they are feminine presenting and can also fight, thing is we don’t see that a lot.

And I rarely meet someone like me in real life, yeah I wasn’t like the other girls, because I act like a boy, and I wasn’t like the other tomboys too because I do not like to wear boys clothing, I dress extremely feminine and pink coded. I guess I am a “girly tomboy” or I really think the girly and tomboyish stereotypes are dumb (and harmful) because it put people into boxes.

It’s like if a girl were a girl boss or fighter we need to make her look masculine, this is regressive and we see this a lot in modern media, I mean, as a “girly tomboy” I felt kinda lonely because there’s rarely representations for someone like me.

They only have different genitals, that’s it, or some may argue there are strength differences, but there are still outliers, like strong women and weak men. Cause I’d already seen countless women out performing men in the gym!(my male friends also told me that).

Aside from that, male and female have very similar personalities and behaviors, and yeah, with PERSONALITY, there is a lots of gray area, what frustrates me the most is that some people (especially alt right people), loves to sort gender into strict boxes and they confidently claim that boys and girls have different personalities, they have very binary and bigoted view of gender.

I am an obvious outlier, I was a huge tomboy, I am more masculine in terms of personality than most people, and most of my guy friends, in fact I rarely meet a person who’s more assertive or competitive than me, I am also very strong and tall, like, I am taller than most guys, I am also a definition of a “failed woman” because I am simply not feminine enough, well, I am not here to sound superior, I am just here to say that the saying that “boys and girls have different personalities “ is just simply ignorant and dumb, and in fact science has never proofed that personality is linked to biology or biological sex, and the whole nature versus nurture debate is always an ongoing one, well, I argue in general girls and boys behaves differently because of how they were raised, like, if you just let them live and let live, I argue people won’t ever say that “boys and girls are different”, or if you just follow your instincts and not subscribe to social norms on how boys and girls should act, there would never be gender stereotypes to begin with, as someone who’s like a tomboy who don’t fuck with gender role, I think my existence really defy the saying that “ boys and girls act differently” because I am a living proof as a girl with very masculine personality, behavior and is both tall and strong, and same sex attracted.

But is using myself as a source to defy the argument a valid source, also, I know I have higher testosterone level comparing to most women because I am also a former trans man; anyways, thing is, how can I proof people saying “girls and boys are different” wrong ? People who say “boys and girls are different” usually are cherry picking sources they support, but science has never proofed whether personality is influenced by our biological sex or culture.

I’d once saw a redditor who’s probably a teacher or parent he said girls and boys are different and shall be raised differently, and those who say “boys and girls are the same” didn’t look carefully… stuff like that.

Well, sir, what can I say? Sorry to burst your bubble, but your circle is so small! And as a testament of an outlier girl who is way more masculine than most of my male friends, your saying is wrong! I didn’t argue with that redditor because this individual is just ignorant!

I am not a big science nerd, but I find this whole gender shit fascinating.

And the saying “girls and boys are different” basically causes harm in society, because it reinforces gender roles.

They only have different genitals, that’s it, or some may argue there are strength differences, but there are still outliers, like strong women and weak men. Cause I’d already seen countless women out performing men in the gym!(my male friends also told me that).

Aside from that, male and female have very similar personalities and behaviors, and yeah, with PERSONALITY, there is a lots of gray area, what frustrates me the most is that some people (especially alt right people), loves to sort gender into strict boxes and they confidently claim that boys and girls have different personalities, they have very binary and bigoted view of gender.

I am an obvious outlier, I was a huge tomboy, I am more masculine in terms of personality than most people, and most of my guy friends, in fact I rarely meet a person who’s more assertive or competitive than me, I am also very strong and tall, like, I am taller than most guys, I am also a definition of a “failed woman” because I am simply not feminine enough, well, I am not here to sound superior, I am just here to say that the saying that “boys and girls have different personalities “ is just simply ignorant and dumb, and in fact science has never proofed that personality is linked to biology or biological sex, and the whole nature versus nurture debate is always an ongoing one, well, I argue in general girls and boys behaves differently because of how they were raised, like, if you just let them live and let live, I argue people won’t ever say that “boys and girls are different”, or if you just follow your instincts and not subscribe to social norms on how boys and girls should act, there would never be gender stereotypes to begin with, as someone who’s like a tomboy who don’t fuck with gender role, I think my existence really defy the saying that “ boys and girls act differently” because I am a living proof as a girl with very masculine personality, behavior and is both tall and strong, and same sex attracted.

But is using myself as a source to defy the argument a valid source, or how can I proof people saying “girls and boys are different” wrong ? People who say “boys and girls are different” usually are cherry picking sources they support, but science has never proofed whether personality is influenced by our biological sex or culture.

I’d once saw a redditor who’s probably a teacher or parent he said girls and boys are different and shall be raised differently, and those who say “boys and girls are the same” didn’t look carefully… stuff like that.

Well, sir, what can I say? Sorry to burst your bubble, but your circle is so small! And as a testament of an outlier girl who is way more masculine than most of my male friends, your saying is wrong! I didn’t argue with that redditor because this individual is just ignorant!

I am not a big science nerd, but I find this whole gender shit fascinating.

And the saying “girls and boys are different” basically causes harm in society, because it reinforces gender roles.

Detrans people are so hated this is insane !

I a detrans woman, when I try to talk about myself or even mention my experiences in other subs, I got ridiculed and hated plus stigmatized so much, detrans people are one of the most oppressed and silenced community to ever exist in my opinion!

Is it that we hold anti trans views !? NO WAY, we support gender nonconforming behaviors and genuine trans people who have severe gender dysphoria, we just think some gatekeeping needs to be done for those who wanna transition. I think the stereotype of “detrans people are transphobic” needs to go! And everyone should respect each other regardless of their opinions.

I also argue why detrans people are so hated because most detrans representative on social media had converted to the alt right and held transphobic or even homophobic and sexist views, this is honestly sad! I am NOT one of them, I am still a left wing person or a progressive (I am center left by the way).

For detrans folks who talk about your experience on other sub or other forums, how do you avoid stigmatization or detransphobia just because you post here ? Honestly I don’t get the hate, I am not transphobic, and perhaps I am the most anti-transphobic person you’ll ever meet. Because I believe in human rights!

And the more I detransition, the more I realize the reasons for me to identify as trans was due to gender nonconforming behaviors.

The trans man identity was actually a scapegoat for me being both a lesbian or gender nonconforming person in general. I was so tomboyish I wasn’t like the other girls, and I wasn’t attracted to men, so I thought the easy way out was to transition.

And now, realizing I’ve being identifying as a trans man for ten or more years haunted me, I regret, I wish I could go back time and just be a tomboyish lesbian.

I ain’t a trans man, I was this closeted lesbian the whole time I just recently came out. I also missing women’s clothing when I identify as trans - and yeah, hating to wear men’s clothing is the first step of my detransition.

Also, I think about how people describe being a lesbian or tomboy being “a phase” will lead to more people like me choosing the trans path.

I find myself started to hate straight people because most of them are simply homophobic and hate gay people, and in the means of self defense that makes me heterophobic too.
In which I find myself having strong feelings of averse through straight people or straight relationships, another reason why I think I have such feelings is because I don’t see myself in a straight relationship ever!
I also hate the concept of traditional family as getting married and having kids in the context of a heterosexual or straight relationships, as if I imagine I were to start a family it’s going to be an unconventional one, my partner will be female, and I will most likely have a polygamous relationship, and our kids are all adopted from all around the world, something like that.
I am someone who hated traditional values to my bones(because they are wrong and evil!), including religion or being heteronormative in general, I am the type of rebel girl who always plays devils advocate and challenge the status quo, this is the type of person I am, I HATE TRADITIONS!

And this had potentially lead to heterophobia, or a deep sense of hatred to the “norm” in general. I talked to my friends who are gay about this, they all stated that my feelings are valid, I can live whatever the life I choose to, but they also think there ain’t no need to hate straight people or “tradwives” or “trad husbands” just because I don’t fit in with the norm.

Some people say heterophobia ain’t real, but I can tell you it’s real, it’s so real in more progressive LGBT communities, and I totally get where they’re coming from heterophobia exist as a form of reverse discrimination.

Plus, for my recent story, as a 20 something year old, I finally have the courage to come out as lesbian very recently, just to let people know that I ain’t straight, I am now in my coming out phase, and YES! I face a lots of backlash and people doubting my sexuality, they all think it’s a "phase" and that “I haven’t meet the right guy yet”, and GOD DAMN IT! my blood boils whenever I hear that !

I also wanna to discuss a bit of my backstory when it comes to how I see romance, so I was always pretty gender nonconforming or I don’t see myself as a gender, I see myself as a person(but I still identify as female, because I am), for most of my childhood I don’t get romantic stories, not until I hit puberty I started to develop sexual attraction to female body parts, that’s when I realized I ain’t straight, not saying I don’t like guys, I just ain’t intensely sexually turned on by them, it’s also possible that I am into guys and trans people, but only emotionally, not sexually(also keep in mind that I am actually just telling everyone around me I am a lesbian despite me somewhat also falls into the pansexual bisexual spectrum), anyways, I am mostly into girls.

The more people say to me “you just haven't met the right guy” or straight people not getting my sexuality or the fact that sexuality is more fluid than static makes me even hate straight people even more (or I also argue it’s not that I hate ALL straight people, I hate single minded and conservative people), but yeah I do have a lots of hetrophobic sentiments because society sees heterosexual as “the norm”, whenever I see people getting married, having a baby, or even straight people kissing, I do not feel satisfied, instead I felt like that is pretty oppressive or disturbing. And yeah I was raised in a homophobic environment as a gay person, so heterosexual relationships makes me cringe and feels uneasy.