u/sagisuncapmoon

I have no support system. The only person I feel comfortable crying in front of who lives within five hours of me is my ex.

My mom is five hours away, but anytime I even call her to vent she just wants to “problem solve.” So I never even feel heard.

My ex thinks I’m this broken thing and I just don’t feel like anyone else even sees me as a person anymore. I have been posting on my close friends story with people I thought were my close friends because I’m getting so desperate and alone that I’m posting literal cries for help. And I’ll get one response but the conversation always fades after a few days of back and forth. Usually it’s when we start to plan something. It’s usually me who wants to make a plan but I’m just forgotten about.

I’m just so fucking alone. I’m going through so much shit and I’m only 24, and I’m dealing with things that no one else my age (or even people older than me) have ever had to go through. I feel like I’ve been broken before I can even really get started at all.

I know people have it worse than me, so I know my life isn’t awful. It’s just the really bad stuff always overshadows the good.

I reported my abuser to the police in December, and I’m waiting for the DA’s office to start investigating.

What can you feel about this situation?

I have a friend who tried to get me to join RCA because of my leftist opinions and previous activism. They gave me a paper and I agree with a lot of what was said regarding current events and society, but it was never clear to me exactly what they do beyond read, attend marches, and sell papers.

I had a lot of questions regarding their work with other local orgs that I’m familiar with, as well as other questions so that I could better understand what this group was about.

When I asked my questions, which I still feel are valid despite the vague, almost regurgitated talking points, this was always said first:

“Those are great questions, and I had those questions too when I started”

^ This felt really weird and like I was being talked down to. There also a sense of “you’ll get it once you reach a higher understanding through OUR education plan.”

Like why, if a group is claiming to work towards ending capitalism, recreate the same hierarchical structures of power and intellectualism? Why is my lived experience of these capitalist power structures less valid because I don’t know about Russian revolutions that have nothing to do with me?

Apologies if I’m being insensitive towards your special interests, as I willingly came into this subreddit as an “intellectual outsider” to ask this question. I really just want to know what the RCA actually does and why, if you’re a member, questions are shut down like this?

I get it that it’s a group founded on a specific ideology, so there has to be a foundational interest (or at least willingness to learn about) this stuff, I wouldn’t go to a Catholic Church and question why they aren’t teaching the Quran, but it just turned me off a lot.

They also seem very eager to “lead” which is what makes me sus as well, and they come across as trying to co-opt the work of other local orgs who have been successfully organizing and building community for much longer.

I’m hoping this can be a productive discussion. If you can also tell me your actual feelings and beliefs rather than spitting out quotes or talking points written by other people, it’d help me a lot since I’m asking this as a fellow human rather than someone looking for an intellectual debate.

Edit to clarify: I don’t disagree with socialism at all, I think it’s a great thing to work towards a future from. It’s just not the ONLY thing I believe is worth building a future based off of, if that makes sense.

Hi, so I (24F) have a BA in English. However, I ended up working for a state-funded program that works to reduce recidivism through mental health treatment.

I founded a mindfulness/meditation club in university, and I’ve always felt drawn towards helping others in that way or at least giving them a space to explore themselves. This pull has increased a lot since I started this job after college. I work as an admin assistant right now, but I’m seriously considering going back to school for a masters in mental health counseling (or a similar degree).

I have lived experience in mental health and addiction, especially as of the past few years, some of which I’m still healing from (the mental health), and I am considering applying for the next peer support specialist position that opens up in the department.

I worry though about being ready. If you also came from a place of being drawn to this work through lived experience, what let you know you were truly ready?

I want to help people, and I worry that my own struggles will hold me back. But at the same time, as a peer support specialist I feel like that relatability can establish trust as a peer.

After I gain experience as a peer, or while I’m a peer, I want to go back to school for a masters so that I can eventually go into counseling.

Is this a common path? Am I being naive about this extreme career pivot? I’ve never been scientifically inclined, but I feel like I really understand how the mind works in a digestible way, if that makes sense. All of the information I’m hearing at work, I absorb like a sponge and I always know who a client is and what’s going on with them just because I am truly interested in their situation and progress.

Sorry if this isn’t written well, I’m just kind of spewing lol

I told my friend I was trying to quit again, and she (a former smoker) recommended lobelia.

Of course I was like tf is that, but apparently it’s an herbal tincture where the chemical composition is one “leg” off from nicotine, so it satisfies the body in that way. She explained this better, but does that make sense?

Anyways, I got some from the grocery store, and my expectations were LOW. But holy shit you guys. The cravings are actually gone.

I’ve been leaving my vape at home, and the anxiety of not having it with me faded so quick once I started drinking water with lobelia throughout the day.

I just put 0.5 ml in a 24 oz water bottle and I usually don’t finish it by the end of the day. But it genuinely feels like I’ve satisfied the craving when I take a sip, it’s insane. I cannot believe that this isn’t talked about more.

WARNING: 1 ml is the MAX recommended daily dose, and I believe 4 ml is considered toxic, so please be careful with how much you consume.

Basically I’m having surgery and can’t consume any nicotine. I didn’t know this, so my timeline to quit is now a lot shorter than I’d imagined.

But I have gone two entire workdays without it now! And I’m trying lobelia extract for the cravings. Also have patches that have been very helpful. But I will have to stop even using those about a week beforehand.

The last time I tried to quit, throwing away the graveyard was so hard for me but this time it felt different. I feel capable of being able to quit for good.

I’m rewatching PLL, and I live in Santa Barbara. And let me just say, it is so fucking funny seeing how Montecito is portrayed.

First off, it’s not its own city. The rich people who moved there self-declared Montecito as an “unincorporated community” so they could be as separate from us peasants as possible. And people who live there get reeeeally upset when you remind them that their city is Santa Barbara, not Montecito (source: I work for SB County). And during elections, these fools get their ballots sent back every time because they put “Montecito” instead of “Santa Barbara” which makes them even more upset.

Second, there’s no “Montecito Airport.” There’s SBA (Santa Barbara) and then there’s LAX. Similarly, there’s no “Montecito EMT” because Montecito is in Santa Barbara County.

I just have so many bones to pick with Montecito already, so I came here to rant. The show got it right though about it all being rich people with way too much money.

Hi, so I (24F) have PTSD from an abusive relationship. There was an instance in the relationship where my ex had strangled me, and I thought I was going to die.

The fear I didn’t feel, in my body, then, is now coming out (as we all know it does) in a lot of different ways. There’s always just a lingering sense of not being safe. In my mind, I know I’m safe, but my body is always like prepared or ready for a threat to my life.

I had a nightmare last night and I woke up with my heart racing, and it took me a really long time to get moving. Mornings are usually my jam, and I’m a morning person so if I have a morning like this it throws me off a lot.

I was in the bathroom about to shower, and I suddenly felt such intense fear. Like it felt like someone was going to kill me. Even though I was locked in the bathroom, I was terrified to take my clothes off and get in the shower.

I just kept sobbing and all I could think was “I want my mom” and “I want to go home.” After the shower, I nearly fell into a dissociative state and it took me ten minutes of sobbing and talking to myself for me to brush my teeth and keep moving on with my day.

Now, I’m at work but I just feel so unsafe and I want to go home (I can’t). I dont have anybody here in town that I can lean on when this stuff happens. I have therapy tomorrow, but I still have a really hard time crying or really being vulnerable in front of her. I just want someone to hold me.

I feel like my inner-child, you could say, is very much at the forefront right now and just needs to be consoled, but my inner-child doesn’t really seem to trust me. I’ve tried hugging myself, reassuring myself, and grounding myself into the present but nothing is working.

Does anyone have any tips as to what helps when this happens, if it happens to you?

I’ve heard people argue that when people smoke weed, they’re doing it to avoid feeling things. Which, to an extent, sure. I have PTSD and any negative feeling can easily spiral into something more, so smoking helps calm that down.

I feel like smoking only relieves the bodily fear and panic, though. And once the body is settled, I can only think more clearly about what’s causing this feeling. On top of that, my body learns how to self soothe more and more.

Anyways, what do yall think?