u/sagisuncapmoon

Asking because, when I was there yesterday, I heard some sales associates talking about how their supervisor said “no breaks for the rest of the day.” This was around noon, so there were definitely more than four hours left for anyone working until close.

Yall are troopers because that store was hell and probably has been with all of the students moving in. Hoping yall are getting your legally deserved breaks ❤️

Idk where else to post but my style leans into the hippie vibe, so I’m hoping yall may put me on to some nice shoes that are functional yet would match my style

I mostly wear long skirts, dresses, and flowy pants of any color, but I predominantly wear greens, dark blues, and neutral tones.

I wear Birkenstocks like 90% of the time since they match everything, and during the winter I’ll wear heeled knee-high boots on occasion, but I need some nice boots or sneakers for when I want to walk more or have coverage on my toes

My ideal choices would be some brown boots or neutral colored sneakers so that I can match them. I don’t own a lot of shoes, so I’m looking for a pair I’ll love that will last

Thank you all in advance!!

(This is not an ad I swear, I am not selling this product or in any way making money from the sales of this brand. I am entirely unaffiliated, I’m just a girl with PTSD who wants to help others ❤️)

You need to try the brand “American Weed Co”

I have PTSD, and all of the strains I smoked before I endured the traumatic experiences have knocked my metaphorical dick (bc I’m a woman) in the dirt. They were great strains and brands, but they’re just too much now when I need to use weed to calm down.

I just smoked maybe a quarter to half a pre-roll of their “Lavender Dream” strain and it feels like a gentle “hello” rather than a “SURPRISE BITCH YOU’RE HIGH AND HERES YOUR HEARTBEAT” feeling. And it was made for marijuana legalization for veterans too, and they donate profits I believe.

Just wanted to share in case anyone else has had the same experience and wanted something more mild for nighttime symptom management. And if you can’t find that brand, anything with CBN (idk if there’s a large opinion on this yet) is generally nice (from my experience)

Love and peace to you all 🫶🏻🌀

Are there any relatively ethically sourced places to buy bundles of juniper and other Celtic herbs in SB?

Thank you in advance !

Hi so I’m moving into my first solo apartment here and I need to set up WiFi.

Does anyone have any clue about how that works? Do they come out to you? Do you need a special kind of wall-plug for WiFi? What’s the best kind of WiFi to choose?

I know this is dumb, but I don’t have anyone else to ask and I’m confused and a bit overwhelmed with all the info I’m seeing online

So my ex (26M), who I’ll call Ron here, and I (24F) sort of mutually broke up after two years to work on ourselves. I was in an abusive relationship before him, and there wasn’t much of a gap between my abuser and him. I came into the relationship with a lot of anxiety, trauma, and post-traumatic stress.

I have always taken accountability for the ways that I’ve hurt him, because I know I have. I haven’t trusted him, I’ve assumed the worst of him, and I’ve let myself believe that Ron was the same as my abuser. I know I wasn’t, and am still not, perfect.

He had his own set of circumstances that, aside from my trauma, made the relationship hard on me. Ron has OCPD and OCD, which I know he can’t help but it’s been hard since I’ve felt the feeling of walking on eggshells and not knowing what will trigger him. I know he’s also felt like he’d been walking on eggshells with me due to my own issues. It was not a healthy relationship, but it was and still is full of love. We wanted to work so badly, but we just couldn’t at the time.

We still talk though, and we communicate a lot about our feelings, how we wish we could be together, and (he mostly says this) how we could still work out if it’s meant to be. I’ve always felt like our issues were workable, and I’ve felt mentally and emotionally strong enough to do this hard work on myself with him, so long as he worked on himself as well.

Ron told me the other day that when he asked his new therapist (from the same practice, just new since his old one had some legal issues I think?), based on the notes from the previous therapist, what he thought they should address.

And his new therapist told Ron I was abusive. He told him that he’d seen “the abused become the abuser” before.

I have toiled over this with my own therapist because I know I’m not abusive, but I don’t know how we can possibly move forward if this therapist is set on that narrative.

His basis for calling me abusive was that I “browbeat” Ron, wanted to comfort him after he was upset because of me, and because I was just generally showing unhealthy behavior. Which I know I wasn’t healthy all the time. And the browbeating that he’s referring to is how I’d try and explain how I felt in a million different ways because Ron struggles a lot with empathy when he feels attacked.

And I know I shouldn’t have tried over and over to get him to understand me, but I just knew or thought if I said the right words that he would. I never called him names, talked bad about him, or hurt him in any intentional way. Ron, which I suspect is due to his OCPD, gets very defensive and upset when he feels like I think he’s a bad person (aka when he hurts my feelings and I tell him).

I’m just very worried about this new therapist, but I have no idea how to even say anything without strengthening the narrative that I am abusive. I can say the therapist is wrong, I can’t try and explain myself, I can’t say “well you also did all of these things that hurt me and could be called abusive without additional context.”

I just feel like we’re doomed because of this heavy, serious word that has now labeled me and our dynamic. I don’t think it was okay for this therapist to say during their second session together, and my therapist agreed with me. My therapist knows that I’ve always brought both his and my actions to our sessions, and I’ve never excluded my behavior when trying to solve a problem because I know that I’m responsible for myself.

I just need insight from any therapists about this and what I can do, if anything. Or just your thoughts about whether or not this therapist’s words were okay.

Thank you

I am so close to just collapsing. That’s it. That’s the post.

Jk lol, but I (24F) have primary generalized epilepsy with TC seizures triggered by lack of sleep, dehydration, stress, and not taking my meds (obviously). I live on the central coast, and it has been consistently 80-90° here for the past month with no sign of it letting up anytime soon.

The heat is making me so dehydrated, and I’m trying to drink as much water as possible but I’m so tired of worrying about a seizure. I’ve already missed a day of work in total (a half day because I didn’t get enough sleep and another half day because I started feeling dizzy), and I’m almost certain that there will be more.

On top of that, I’m already on HR’s shit list at work because of some other time off that I didn’t want to use FMLA for but was essentially forced to once they found out I was using my sick time for a minor procedure (unrelated to epilepsy). I doubt I’d be able to get remote work accommodations, and even if I did it’s still hotter in my house since we don’t have AC.

Is anyone else experiencing a heat wave right now and how are yall coping with it if heat and dehydration are big triggers?

Like it’s long, but it just fucking hitssssss

Like come on are you kidding me? When it comes in with that quiet “duh duh duhduhdada duh duh da da” WHAT

And that build up. It just makes my soul groove every time

Okay wait I’m watching episode six of house of the dragon rn (which sparked this post) AND MY JAW IS DROPPED

I am desperately searching for a studio that, by some grace of God, is affordable for me so that I no longer have to sleep in a twin bed and pee in a jar when my housemate is using the bathroom for a long time.

So my question is, for those of you who have rentals that have been sitting on Craigslist for MONTHS, that are priced at $2500-$3500 a month, aren’t you losing money? I understand the work that went into them, but still. If you got a really great tenant with perfect credit and wonderful references (like me, for example), wouldn’t it be more worth it to have them as a long term tenant with a monthly rent of $1800-$2000?

You’d at least start making the money back, right? I’m not knowledgeable in all of that, but I just see all of this housing that sits and sits every time I look and nobody who needs it can afford it. 20-something’s who want to start their adult life and are done living with strangers can’t afford $3500 a month, but will treat the place just as nice.

Is there any harm in lowering the rent if it’s just been sitting there for nearly a year? I’m struggling so bad because every time I gain an inch with COL raises or yearly merit raises, the studios are now $1000 more expensive.

I cannot go into my 30s with roommates, and I am so tired. This turned into a rant, so apologies there, but the question remains. I know that because it’s SB it’s going to be more expensive, but it just feels like there’s gotta be a line somewhere for how long these places sit vacant until landlords cave.

Hi, so I (24F) just had a breast reduction done. It’s something I’ve wanted since I was 12, and I was very lucky to have it covered by insurance due to medical necessity. I thought I’d feel better afterwards, but something about the procedure and healing process has made my PTSD symptoms flare up so badly.

It was especially bad during the first week when I had to take norco (which if you don’t know is an opioid). I had multiple, vivid nightmares every single night I was taking them, and my hypervigilance increased to the most it had been in a really long time. I still feel the lingering hypervigilance.

My PTSD is also from domestic violence, and I have to go meet with the detective assigned to my case for the first time next Monday. So this also stirred up a lot for me. I also just found out that in California, two-party consent for audio and video recordings doesn’t apply for DV cases, so I am using two recordings as additional evidence now. I made the mistake of rewatching them yesterday, and I’ve been really dissociated ever since.

But the main thing I’m wondering is, if anyone has had surgery after the onset of their PTSD, did your symptoms get worse? And do you know what caused it?

I thought it was just the pain meds, but I’ve been off of those for two weeks now. I just kind of want to understand what happened since I felt really “okay” beforehand, and I’m not feeling the joy I thought I’d feel after this procedure I’d been looking forward to for so long.

Thank you all in advance ❤️

Hi, so it’s been a while since I made my police report against my abuser.

I finally have a detective assigned to my case (I’m in CA, so the detective and DA are the ones who decide whether or not charges will be pressed), and I’m meeting with him soon. My heart is pounding a lot thinking about it right now.

I feel like when I gave the police report, I was very dissociated and emotionless. I feel like I’ll be the same with the detective, if not more scattered and detached.

For anyone who’s gotten to the stage of talking with a detective, what helped you the most in staying present and grounded? I want to make sure I don’t forget anything or block stuff out.

I (24F) had been in an awful abusive relationship when I was 20-21.

When I was 22, I got into a relationship with a new guy who I thought was great and who seemed so healthy.

I can’t type all of this out now, but he basically convinced me (over the course of our 2 year relationship) that I was emotionally abusing him.

We’ve been “broken up” for a few months now, but I was staying with him this past weekend so he could help me through nicotine withdrawals before a surgery.

And we got into a nonsense fight over a perceived slight by me (because I didn’t go with him to the bathroom in public, according to him) which led to hours of fighting and me feeling like I was going crazy.

At one point in the argument, he pulled out his camera and started recording me. When I asked him why he was recording, he said “because I’m a survivor, and I’m taking my power back.”

This broke me. I started sobbing profusely and trying to make any sense of what was happening (while still going through nicotine withdrawals, mind you), all while he was recording my breakdown.

After all of this, I spoke with the DV hotline, my mom, and my therapist about this because I genuinely left that night believing I had abused him. They all made it clear to me that while our relationship was unhealthy, I was not showing any signs of abusive behavior.

Two other therapists before my current one had reassured me I wasn’t abusive to him (because he’d told me I was in our relationship before).

My current therapist pointed out to me how cruel it was for him to do all of this while knowing my own trauma from domestic violence. She told me I didn’t have to agree, but from what I’d told her about our relationship over the months we’d been working together, that is does seem like he is the one with covert abusive tendencies.

I am now looking back at this relationship in shock. He was my best friend, and I thought our issues were “normal.” I thought if we worked on our communication and healed from our stuff that we could have a life together one day.

I’ve now blocked and removed him from everything. I honestly am considering moving from my city in the next few years (or whenever I can find a job elsewhere and save up enough to leave). This place is too haunted now by all of the memories of abuse.

I am trying not to be hard on myself for getting into another abusive relationship. I’m trying to find what I can learn here. But I’m just heartbroken because, unlike my ex before him who genuinely terrified me on a mortal level, I still love him. He was my best friend, at least in my eyes.

I just feel so broken and alone. And I wonder how much of my feeling unhealed from my previous DV trauma has been perpetuated by this recent relationship.

Idk I just need words of encouragement.

I’m putting this here so this isn’t the focus: I AM NOT GOING TO HURT MYSELF IN ANY WAY

That being said, I stopped using patches today and the withdrawals are coming in the form of overwhelming and snowballing emotions that are convincing me I should do something bad to myself so that I’m not here anymore because it will never get better and nobody will ever love me.

I have PTSD, and vaping was a huge way that I cut off that snowball before it got too big. It was my best coping mechanism and now it’s gone and I have no tools to make my mind stop before it gets too dark. I can’t use nicotine, I have surgery in less than a week and I’m already cutting it close.

I just need help. I don’t have anyone I can talk to about this, and I am entirely alone right now which isn’t helping.

I have no support system. The only person I feel comfortable crying in front of who lives within five hours of me is my ex.

My mom is five hours away, but anytime I even call her to vent she just wants to “problem solve.” So I never even feel heard.

My ex thinks I’m this broken thing and I just don’t feel like anyone else even sees me as a person anymore. I have been posting on my close friends story with people I thought were my close friends because I’m getting so desperate and alone that I’m posting literal cries for help. And I’ll get one response but the conversation always fades after a few days of back and forth. Usually it’s when we start to plan something. It’s usually me who wants to make a plan but I’m just forgotten about.

I’m just so fucking alone. I’m going through so much shit and I’m only 24, and I’m dealing with things that no one else my age (or even people older than me) have ever had to go through. I feel like I’ve been broken before I can even really get started at all.

I know people have it worse than me, so I know my life isn’t awful. It’s just the really bad stuff always overshadows the good.

I reported my abuser to the police in December, and I’m waiting for the DA’s office to start investigating.

What can you feel about this situation?

I have a friend who tried to get me to join RCA because of my leftist opinions and previous activism. They gave me a paper and I agree with a lot of what was said regarding current events and society, but it was never clear to me exactly what they do beyond read, attend marches, and sell papers.

I had a lot of questions regarding their work with other local orgs that I’m familiar with, as well as other questions so that I could better understand what this group was about.

When I asked my questions, which I still feel are valid despite the vague, almost regurgitated talking points, this was always said first:

“Those are great questions, and I had those questions too when I started”

^ This felt really weird and like I was being talked down to. There also a sense of “you’ll get it once you reach a higher understanding through OUR education plan.”

Like why, if a group is claiming to work towards ending capitalism, recreate the same hierarchical structures of power and intellectualism? Why is my lived experience of these capitalist power structures less valid because I don’t know about Russian revolutions that have nothing to do with me?

Apologies if I’m being insensitive towards your special interests, as I willingly came into this subreddit as an “intellectual outsider” to ask this question. I really just want to know what the RCA actually does and why, if you’re a member, questions are shut down like this?

I get it that it’s a group founded on a specific ideology, so there has to be a foundational interest (or at least willingness to learn about) this stuff, I wouldn’t go to a Catholic Church and question why they aren’t teaching the Quran, but it just turned me off a lot.

They also seem very eager to “lead” which is what makes me sus as well, and they come across as trying to co-opt the work of other local orgs who have been successfully organizing and building community for much longer.

I’m hoping this can be a productive discussion. If you can also tell me your actual feelings and beliefs rather than spitting out quotes or talking points written by other people, it’d help me a lot since I’m asking this as a fellow human rather than someone looking for an intellectual debate.

Edit to clarify: I don’t disagree with socialism at all, I think it’s a great thing to work towards a future from. It’s just not the ONLY thing I believe is worth building a future based off of, if that makes sense.