u/sunnyalienn

Genuine question because I’m getting closer to the end of my maternity leave and I’m starting to realize how insane the whole system feels to me.
I’m a new single mom, and I genuinely don’t understand how we’re expected to go from spending all day with our babies to suddenly putting them in daycare for 40 hours a week, working full time, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, groceries, errands, appointments, etc. and then somehow still have the energy to be a parent and spend quality time with our babies.
And I know people will say “daycare is good for them” or “babies are adaptable,” and I’m not saying daycare is inherently bad or that parents who use it are doing anything wrong. Obviously millions of families have no choice but to use it, and childcare workers are doing incredibly important work. I’m questioning the system, not parents who are trying to survive within it.
I also don’t understand how single moms are expected to be capable of doing ALL of the above consistently? Like it’s a recipe for a burnout imo.
I’m having so much anxiety about returning to work that I’m thinking about quitting and just going on welfare and moving into a government subsidized apartment. I don’t think I can handle all the stress and work responsibility on top of being my baby’s only parent. I don’t want to regret missing out on the most important years of her life and I don’t want to be less than half the mother I could be to her over the next couple of years. Am I wrong?

I’m looking to get some fridge magnets for my soon to be 1 year old to play with, but I’m having a hard time finding ones that are actually big enough.
I bought the JoyCat Magnetic Letters, 26 Soft PVC Animal Fridge Magnets for Toddlers, but I find them too small for what I’m looking for. I’d prefer something much larger and chunkier, ideally around 3–5 inches if that exists.
For those of you who have magnetic toys on your fridge for your little ones, what do you recommend? Are wooden or plastic/soft PVC magnets better? I’m mainly looking for something large, durable, easy for little hands to grab, safe for a one year old to put in their mouth and with the magnet securely attached.

Location: Canada

I live in Quebec, Canada, and my child’s father lives in Washington State. He is listed on the birth certificate and paternity is established, but we currently don’t have a formal child support order in place.
I’ve been trying to understand the process, but I was told by legal aid that because Quebec and Washington don’t have a direct agreement for enforcing child support, I will have to start legal proceedings in both places, which means paying for a lawyer here and another lawyer there.

Is there another process I should look into before hiring lawyers in two jurisdictions?
I’m trying to understand my options and avoid unnecessary legal costs if there’s a simpler route. Any advice would be appreciated.

I’m looking for some insight because my teeth seemed to change dramatically after pregnancy.
Before pregnancy, I never had cavities. Since giving birth, I’ve developed multiple cavities (I never stopped brushing and flossing twice a day), my bite feels different, and my lower front teeth have shifted noticeably. I know the alignment won’t magically go back to normal without orthodontic treatment, but I’m wondering whether the increased cavity risk is temporary or something that can become permanent. During my pregnancy, I had a dental exam and had zero cavities. Then, at my follow up 6 months later, I was told I had 4 cavities, which was a huge shock.
I’ve read that pregnancy hormones and changes in saliva can increase the risk of cavities and gum disease, but I’m confused about what happens afterward.

Once all of my cavities are treated, is my cavity risk likely to go back to what it was before pregnancy? Or can pregnancy permanently change your saliva, oral bacteria, or enamel so you’re more prone to cavities longterm? If anyone has seen this in patients, how long does it usually take for things to return to normal postpartum?

I’m wondering if anyone else experienced a lot of dental changes after having a baby. Before pregnancy, I never had issues with my teeth, but postpartum I’ve had cavities develop and I’ve noticed changes I never experienced before (I brush and floss twice a day)
My bite has changed and my bottom teeth have shifted, so I know the alignment itself won’t go back without treatment. What I’m wondering is if it eventually settled down after pregnancy.
For those who had postpartum cavities, tooth movement, or other dental changes: after getting the cavities fixed, did your oral health go back to normal? Or did you continue getting more cavities/issues because of changes in saliva, hormones, etc.?
I’m curious if pregnancy caused a temporary period of dental problems that eventually stabilized, or if it led to ongoing issues longterm.

I have an update to a post I made recently, but I’m not sure what the best way to share it is.
Should I:

1. Edit my original post and add an “Update” section?
2. Make a brand-new post and link back to the original?
3. Leave an update in the comments?

I don’t want to spam the subreddit or do it the wrong way. What’s the usual Reddit etiquette?

My baby is almost 11 months old and I’m wondering how much water is considered normal at this age. She drinks about 700 mL of formula a day and eats a good amount of solids.

Right now, I offer water throughout the day with meals and was wondering if around 8 oz (240 mL) of water is too much, or if that’s still within a normal range for this age?

I know babies still need formula as their main source of nutrition before 12 months, but I’m curious how other parents handle water intake and if there’s a point where it becomes too much.

I’ve always struggled with sleep, but before having my baby I was able to manage it. I used to smoke weed to help me fall asleep, but since becoming a mom I’ve stopped. I don’t want to risk exposing my baby to it, and honestly I also needed to cut the expense.
The problem is that now I have no idea how to fall asleep anymore, even when my baby is sleeping. I’m exhausted and I feel like I’m missing the opportunity to rest because my brain just won’t shut off.
I’ve talked to my doctor about my insomnia, but she is only willing to prescribe trazodone or Seroquel. The issue is that trazodone does not work for me, and I had such horrible side effects from Seroquel that I will never take it again.
I understand medications have risks and that doctors have to be careful, but it’s frustrating feeling like I’m being offered the same two options when I’ve already tried them and they haven’t helped and actually made me feel worse.
Has anyone else dealt with this? How did you get your doctor to take your insomnia seriously? Did you find other treatments?

I’m genuinely curious if anyone has gone through something similar because I’m starting to wonder if I’m just incredibly unlucky.

For the past couple of years, it feels like every time I solve one problem, three more appear, and most of them are completely outside of my control.

I’ve had to move three times in less than two years.

The first time was because my apartment had a severe cat urine smell from the neighbors that made living there unbearable.

The second time was because I became pregnant and needed to move closer to my support system before my baby was born.

The third time was because my apartment ended up with a carpenter ant infestation.

You’d think finally moving into a better place would be the end of it, but the move itself turned into another nightmare. The movers damaged a lot of my belongings, and I never received any compensation. Instead of finally putting everything behind me, I ended up with more stress, more expenses, and fewer possessions.

I’m also a new and single mom, which comes with its own challenges.
During pregnancy I had no cavities, but a few months postpartum I suddenly developed several. I brush and floss twice a day, and I know pregnancy and postpartum can affect dental health, but I couldn’t afford to get them filled right away. Now, months later, I’m worried they’ve gotten worse simply because I had to wait. It’s incredibly frustrating to feel like I’m doing everything I’m supposed to do, yet the situation keeps getting worse anyway.

This seems to be the pattern with almost everything in my life lately. I don’t ignore problems, I deal with them as soon as I reasonably can. But before I can recover from one setback, another appears, and often the original problem has worsened despite my best efforts.
I know everyone experiences hard times, and I’m not expecting life to be perfect.

If you’ve gone through a stretch like this, did things eventually improve? Was it just a really unlucky chapter of your life, or did something help you get through it? I’d really like to hear other people’s experiences because lately it’s been hard not to feel defeated.

My baby is turning one soon, and I’d love to hear what ended up being the biggest hits in your house.
I’m trying to be intentional with what I buy and avoid spending money on toys that only get used a handful of times before they’re forgotten.
I’d love to hear your recommendations and any purchases you wish you’d skipped.