u/sushisoapy

So many of my friends still having grandparents and young parents and have no worries about their parents dying.

I knew since I was a kid that my dad would probably never see me make it to 30 because he had me when he was nearing 60. We have a complicated relationship but it still sucks to have peers who have much younger grandparents than my dad.

I desperately want to be free and live my early 20s but there’s a big part of me that knows if I dont move closer to my parents (in a horrible state I hate) I will regret not spending time with them or worry a lot about them.

I just feel so trapped in my life because I have experienced deaths of siblings and close friends very young and know how much I will miss my family when they’re gone. I’m not religious and my parents aren’t either so I just know for myself that this is my only chance to see them

I know this topic has been talked about at length but seriously… why?

I would say I have a pretty average body for a short woman. Im 5’4 and 120 lbs. My waist is 27 inches and hips are 37 and bust is 33-34. I dont think my proportions are very extreme or unique and yet I can fit into so many different sizes.

I tried on size 8 pants today and they actually fit snug and well but were long. Tried on a 6 from the same brand and it was so big it fell off of me. Usually I am a size 4 in most pants but lately its either been comically large at 4 or comically small. Some of my pants are a size 2/26 and some are a size 29/8.

I dont wear bras much anymore but I had bras at 32C which fit great and bras at 34A be huge and 34B be tiny.

I rescued a 1 yr old cat from the streets recently and shes still pretty scared of humans. I try to let her come to me and shes scared of being pet or approached.

However, whenever I sit on the toilet, she will bust into the room (my bathroom door doesnt lock or close all the way) and start rubbing on me and is suddenly okay with being pet. She also purrs.

She is almost always fearful every other time but is completely okay with me touching her while using tbe bathroom… whats up with that

Maybe a silly question and its anecdotal to what I see. I work in dance (not as a dancer, just do stretching in my free time) and I notice its so much more common for people to be able to a side split than a middle split. I’m fairly naturally flexible and can naturally do a middle split but can’t do a side split! I maybe trained 2 weeks to get all the way to the floor but was able to get close naturally. I have been working on my side split for a long time with way less success and much slower progress.

Dancers I work with are impressed by my middle split and say they cant do theirs but they can all do amazing side splits! I thought middle splits also take less muscles to actually get there? And maybe its just people I personally interact with but it seems to be a trend

Sorry if this is a dumb question but was just curious!

EDIT: I messes up wording, I meant why are front splits (one leg in front of you) more common than middle splits (legs straight out to sides at 180 degrees)

My MIL annoys the shit out of me but she and my partner are close. He’s a bit of a mama’s boy but by being with me for awhile, he has gotten out of it and listened to my concerns when I brought them up. However, my MIL still aggravates me but isn’t malicious enough for me to warrant further complaints to my partner.

I feel bad cause she does like me and says she loves me and is generally kind to me but she honestly is annoying. She always makes comments how she “sees herself in me” and how similar we are and it kinda weirds me out… like we are not similar and I am just polite enough not to challenge her on things. For example, she says we are so similar because we grew up in difficult households. I acknowledge he home life was hard but we had very different home lives and deal with it differently. She traumadumps on me A LOT without letting me get any word in. Most I can get in is “Wow, that sounds hard. I’m sorry.” And even when I try to politely exit the convo, she wraps me back in.

She also ascertains family is the most important thing ever which is a fair point. However, my parents were so physically abusive with me that I choose to distance myself from them. During my wedding, I chose to walk myself down the aisle and my MIL was talking about how I excluded my dad from a special moment from “passing me over to my husband.” I do not believe I am property to be passed down and am very sure of who I am and my husband knows this. I also kept my last name and she was like “Dont you at least want to hyphenate?” And I said firmly. No.

She had kids very young (before 20) and she believes motherhood fixes it all. I try to ignore this topic because I know parents can go crazy when learning their kids don’t want kids but I had to firmly be like “I am not having kids. I find many other parts of my life fullfilling and nothing about having kids interests me.” She said she was so sad to hear because “me and her son would make beautiful kids.”

She’s also kinda racist. I’m asian and she’s a white lady and she complains about her asian neighbor a lot and asserts it’s not cause shes asian but SHE BRINGS HER RACE UP EVERYTIME. Its so weird. She was also in the military and stationed in asia and she has weird ass things to say but says she cant be racist cause she married a black man and has black kids.

She also likes bringing up people’s bodies and it relates to race a lot. Im pretty thin but def not sickly. I range from size 4-6 in american sizing and she’s a 10-12 and shorter than me. This is only relevant cause shes like “real women are over size 10” and I an so lucky that I am asian because its “only normal for asian women to be under size 10.” like wtf?

My husband DOES challenge her when he hears her say these things so he is not sitting idly by and when he does this, she relents a bit but she still skeeves me out.

I unfortunately live in a very dog friendly city. Most beaches are either dog friendly or even assigned for dogs. Its very annoying but one thing I dont get is that everytime I go to a beach or a park and theres tons of dogs, I see a dog attacking another dog.

Just the other day, a guy walked up to the beach with his pit and a random poodle ran over to it and it got mauled. I dont understand why humans have decided its a good idea to have a bunch of unleashed dogs in an area where they all just start attacking eachother. Are dog owners morons? Because if I liked these animals, Id want mine to be safe?

For so long, I was not happy w my very naturally thin body. I’m 5’3 and between the 105-110 lb range for a long time and was very lean. I wanted to grow my lower body and do light toning of my arms but never had success when I went for aesthetics.

Unsure if it’s my change of my goals or because I am older, I am having an easier time building muscle. I also stopped going for aesthetics and went for goals like doing splits, handstands, backflips… which I have all achieved and am super proud of especially as someone who started in Feb of this year and has no athletic background!! (my backflip is messy still lol)

However, I did notice my legs are much larger now and just my thighs and I grew somewhat of a butt. I used to have a pretty dramatic curve in my waist that I liked that is less visible now. It still there but I feel like my body is a little more rectangular. I dont hate these types of bodies on anyone else but I am realizing I do not really recognize myself in my own body and am unsure if I like it. I kinda miss my very lean build now that I have more muscle… I don’t think it’s too bad on my mental but I also want to stop training as much because I dont want to look too different but I love being able to do calistenics and dont want to lose that! I also realize I weigh between 120-125 now which doesnt seem like a dramatic change but its the heaviest Ive been and its a weird feeling

Maybe I am just doing a silly rant and theres no solution

My friend is catsitting me and my partner’s cats for a week for $150. Visiting twice a day to feed them breakfast and dinner and scoop their poop. They have a water fountain that shouldnt need to be refilled.

I think this is a steal for what my friend is doing (they def gave us a discount) but my partner thinks $150 is a lot for a week.

What are your thoughts on catsitting rates?

Edit; Thanks for all tbe comments! My friend has watched our cats and dog (when we had her still) for free or cheaper before. Only reason hes charging us now is he lives farther than usual and a week is the longest time he’s had to watch our kitties! He also said he’d stay and play with them for a little bit for one of the visits each day, depending on if hes working or not

also I showed this to my partner and he already admitted he was wrong and out of touch about the catsitting cost 😭😭😭 he already got teased by our friend for acting like mr krabs

I have a supervisor who I will nickname Kathy. I’ve known Kathy for several years and she was my first real boss as an adult and she’s very nice and polite and friendly. Shes a hardcore people pleaser at work and will do whatever it takes to get the job done even if it’s not her job technically.

I am just getting hit with the realization that Kathy may not have been the perfect boss and great friend I thought she was. She would often make me and her skip or cut short our lunch to finish up work and I always thought that it was because she cared so much about work and that was admirable. She also gave me a choice and would ask and I’d always say yes.

Recently, work has been insanely busy and I have been working 100 hours each pay period for over a month. Kathy asked me if I wanted to skip lunch with her to finish up an important task. I said no. She seemed to have short circuited and I could tell her she was trying to convince me to skip lunch to work without out right saying it.

We also used to move heavy things by ourselves or she’d ask me to do it and I was like of course, because I thought that’s my job. When I talked about this to other coworkers they were apalled. They were saying how it’s genuinely unsafe for one, even two people to move the things we were moving and that we should’ve asked for a company truck. I always thought it was someone else pushing Kathy to move these things in a rush not Kathy herself making up in her mind we have to rush heavy machinery out of a building.

A personal thing that bugged me once was I was talking to Kathy as a friend and how I was searching for a therapist to help me deal with the loss of my brother. Her response was “Oh Im so sorry… I know how it feels to be in therapy since I am there for birthday trauma.” And I asked her what birthday trauma is and she said “I had amazing birthdays as a kid and now as an adult, If I do not have a really extravagant birthday, I will become depressed.” I dont want to discredit someone’s “trauma” but also I was shocked she said this in EARNEST when I lost my sibling.

Kathy went on maternity leave recently and hired someone else to supervise. (She offered it to me before she left and I declined). I am now working with this new supervisor who does not people please to the extent Kathy did. This supervisor draws clear boundaries of what work is ours and not and refuses to let lunches be skipped for tasks that actually aren’t our department’s business.

Kathy is ecstatic to hang out with me and constantly talks abiut how she is excited to be back but I am not. I may be overreacting but I am realizing I do not like this person like I thought I did. Yes, I can quit and thats one solution but I do need to make money and its difficult to find a job that pays as much as I do right now. Do I confront Kathy about her behavior when she is back if she continues to act selfishly? I can’t ignore her completely since we work together
. A lot of people at work also love her cause she’s a people pleaser and does their work for them so I don’t know if they’d listen to my complaints.

Tl;DR: Coworker and friend is people pleasing to their department’s detriment and I dont know what to do?

Hi all, I hope its ok to post here as someone who probably doesnt have schizophrenia but has family and friends who do.

My partner and I moved into a house last year and noticed we had an older neighbor who’d pace outside a lot. My bf went to introduce himself early on and our neighbor rebuffed him saying “not interested” and went inside. He often times talks to himself about topics I can’t really follow but common subjects are government, spies, and animals. He seemed to struggle a lot when we first moved in and noticed he had a caregiver but we havent really interacted with them much.

It took a long time but I think he has come around to us. We always left him be unless he wants to engage first and we happily do.

He noticed we had cats and he would sing songs to them as he paced around. Sometimes our cats would meow at him and hed start talking to them asking them if they’ve been fed or not. He made nicknames for them, “Puss in boots” and “Fatty cat.”

Now oftentimes when he sees me, he will ask me if Im doing alright and how “puss and fatty” are. He told me loves animals very much.

One time I pointed out a family of bunnies to him and he smiled so big and hugged me, thanking me for showing him.

It makes me happy that he seems to be more comfortable around me and my partner. I’ve seen family members struggle with schizophrenia many years of my life and be dehumanized by people around them.

I have always been aware of my mortality growing up. My family is not religious or superstitious. I used to cry as a child and have panic attacks over my parents dying.

I was 10 years old when my brother died pretty brutally in front of me. That kinda solidified that ghosts arent real for me because our house would’ve been haunted if they were.

I believe in no afterlife and I am not religious. It would be a wonderful and comforting thought if the afterlife is real but I personally cannot make myself believe in it at this moment.

I have so much anxiety about dying and that this is the only life I have and that I am only in my 20s but I feel so old. I have fears of never seeing my brother again or friends that have passed.

I do see a therapist and have seen a couple different ones in the past but none of them were able to help me about this