u/tech53

I say it's the only way to code. Especially with ML, data science, or AI. Others may have different views.

i've been writing code or playing with it for decades. Never bothered to use git except to get projects to install and run for ages. I never coded with anyone else, juset me, myself, and I so it didn't seem too important. The last year or two i started using it. I just now, since i have to learn it because i started a job as an intern. Instantly I knew how important it was. Now after learning an hour in....holy crap. I can see every commit, for every version or branch and why for an entire mature codebase. That's the best teaching tool ever. I can legit step through the entire pypi library. Nothing cooler that I've learned to date.

in todays saga of my partners ways of mistreating me and being a total jerk: made them a meal. Well, I started. We'll get to that. They asked for tostadas.

My partner is autistic and also has all manner of food sensitivities and body issues from surviving cancer that affect what they can eat or if they can get up to make their own food due to pain.

So there's my excuse for what I'm about to say they did.

Partner came home. I helped them in today, like i usually do. Their body hurts after work and they push themselves too hard for everyone. I carried in the food from the food pantry with as little complaining as i could muster - i have an extremely bad back injury that keeps me from walking more than a handful of minutes at a time. We said hi to each other, we were cute for a while, i got my partner to use the credit i bought them on xbox live and play a game. It was wonderful to see them taking time for themselves and picking up something they used to like. I held them for a bit and gave them head rubs. They like that a lot. We talked about some real stuff. Then I got my partner to tell me what they want for food but i had to do a quick chore that was necessary to get started and clean the floor near the fridge which is right by my side of the bed because we live in a shoe box. So, i did. Then they did as they always do. Start finding the laundry list of everything i did wrong during the day while they were gone and telling me about it. Whatever. I moved past it. We may have exchanged a few words but i don't think it was anything you'd call a fight. Did more stuff. Cleaning. I dont remember every detail of the night honestly, A lot of random shit.

Eventually...

I managed to get my partner to tell me they wanted to eat, and wanted ground chicken tostadas. They don't like ground beef tostadas.

They had me start cooking tostadas. I made the ground chicken they requested rather than ground beef. I have a visceral reaction to ground chicken. I hate it. SO I said i'd make theirs first in its entirety using the first (and only) pan i'd use and then do mine. So that way theirs is hot and doesn't touch anything they cant eat. Makes sense to me. I came up with this because they wanted me to use "no extra dishes". To me this made sense. To me my partner wouldn't want me to eat something I so obviously dislike when we have a solid 10 or 20 pounds (im estimating, if i'm off don't murder me, the point is there's a lot, an excess) of impossible/beyond beef in the fridge that I love (not vegan, but i like the stuff and it was free from a food pantry). Apparently thats exactly what they wanted. For me to eat something i hate because they prefer it in order to save on using one more dish. One. They then chose to fight with me all night, culminating with them refusing to eat the meat i cooked, wasting the whole pound, deciding they dont want to talk to me, telling me they dont like talking to people, and when i asked, not me either. Then when i cried in the corner they were more worried about someone else hearing me crying and waking them up than the fact i was crying. Can i save this relationship? Am i the asshole? Real answers only.

This is the 2nd time something like this happened in a row. We can NOT afford to waste food. We're on food stamps and use food pantries.

Fuck....i just realized the way i was doing things...it was going to use the same amount of dishes as if i made the tostadas just for my partner the exact way they were fighting for. I wish i had been able to think through it well enough to explain before the argument blew up and i couldn't explain to them or think straight enough to try to explain why it was okay. Honestly though...a single dish isn't a reason for that behavior