I was wondering if anyone has had a vulvar biopsy done. I have intractable itching and crawling which may be nerve related but was thinking this could help further investigate what might be going on. I think i read about a punch biopsy, just wondering the procedure and pain levels.
I'm so tired of dealing with asshole doctors...what I have had to deal with:
Referred to urogynecologist, first encounter:
"Your urine tests are normal, why are you here?"
Um I was referred to you? I have bladder issues and your a urogynecologist?
Eye specialist:
"This will go a lot faster if you stopped flinching."
I have chronic eye pain, I experience more pain then the average person.
Gynecologist:
(When she recommended a treatment and I asked what if it didn't work): "You can't just always ask me about alternative treatments" which, I guess that's true, but it takes 4 months to get a follow up so I'd like to have a plan B.
Then, if you get angry and complain or speak up you become the difficult patient and a drama queen. But if you don't speak up and you are not firm, you get coerced into doing things you don't want to do and are then traumatized. I have stopped this past year seeking treatment because if I have another encounter like this I don't think I can mentally handle it.
Its like they think you want to be there. You think I want to subject myself to nasty, unempathetic care, bee severely suicidal, not be able to focus at work, barely getting a goods night rest...you think I just want, what, attention? I'm a hypochondriac? Try living in my shoes, they would not last a day before going insane. I want to heal but the horrible treatment and gaslighting is too much for me to handle now. I hate this.
Got vulvodynia in 2008 when I was 17 after repeated UTIs. In 2016 developed severe intractable vulvar itching mostly around inner labia but external as well. Like a combo of chicken pox and fire ants.
34F, currently on 150mg amitryptiline, 30 mg vilazadone, 150 mg of Orilissa.
It is at a point where I have been severely suicidal on and off this past decade and sometimes I feel like its the only way this will stop. I self harm when I feel like the distress is too high which helps me feel better but the thought of this being my whole life makes me want to end everything. No one cares and no one takes this seriously. I am at my wits end and really can't keep living this way.
To summarize I have seen:
- Vulvar dermatologist (tried clobetasol then it didn't work and she discharged me because I was "too complex of a patient")
- gynecologist said it was because I wore leggings
- Pelvic Nerve specialist. Recommended suppositories (valium) but couldn't tolerate the pain and burning.
- neurologist - also did not see anything on scans.
- Urogynecologist (botox injections) - no effect.
- Nerve blocks- caudal epidural and ganglion impar. No changes.
- allergist - nothing on skin prick tests
- tried every compounded cream - gaba and amitryptiline, baclofen, diazepam, estrogen. Nothing.
- Did a biopsy in 2018 which only showed sebhorric keratosis. Probably from scratching.
- Lyrica, gabapentin, nortryptiline, naltrexone, cannabis, lidocaine (worked but stopped working on me even now it doesn't numb me), cymbalta.
- IV Ketamine and lidocaine (made me feel drunk but that's about it)
- psychotherapy
What helps: nothing. Lidocaine did until it stopped working. Ice doesn't even help. Scratching. If I didn't scratch i would probably just kill myself.
What makes it worse: I have no fucking clue. Everyday moment is different.
When I was on gabapentin and it was too sedating I stopped it, but the itching got WAY worse to a point i was sobbing and wanting to die. Had to keep taking it and taper off slowly.
Once 8 years ago it went away for 3 days. Then it came back, no clue what caused that.
Yes I have been tetsed for lichen sclerosis and simplex chronicus, yes I use all hypoallergenic soap and laundry wash, yes I only wash my vulva with water both in the shower and after peeing, yes I use unbleached toilet paper, yes I have tried all the creams and all the drugs, yes someone said it could be neuropathic but with that no solution or any relief. Some say its Nerve related, some say skin issue.
- did pelvic PT for about 3 years, no change.
- also get crawling sensations not only on my vulva but down my legs and in my arms and bottom of my feet. When the itching is at its worst I feel the exact same thing in the bottom of my feet.
I'm just tired and need this to stop. I haven't been able to sleep through the night, cry every day and have been to ER for suicidal ideation. I just want this to go away or at least decrease but I have no where left to go.
Hi everyone,
I have been working in healthcare as a pediatric occupational therapist for approximately 5 years. I am 34. I used to have a passion for storytelling and an interest in film/media production. I took cinema courses in university and filmmaking in high school but I moved away from that to focus on more practical career paths, and I feel I really miss it.
I don't really know how I could make a transition or maybe find a way to incorporate media into my current work. I am looking at microcredentials abd part time studies to see if itnis something I am interested in.
Going back to school full time eg do a 1 or 2 year program I feel like is probably not wise at this point. I just feel really sad and don't know if it is worth even going for that as a goal. I'm not really happy or fulfilled with my current job. I know I could maybe just do volunteer work or something but I would really like to have it be a part of my job, maybe there is a way to do that. I feel like its just to late to make any type of transition at this point. I'm feeling stuck and dont know where to go from here.
I opened a word document on Aug 21 and completed an assessment with a client and added all my info. I recall clearly having it on my computer and typing notes. However today I went to finish up the report and checked under "Recent Files" and there is a gap between Aug 17 and Aug 24th and there is nothing from Aug 21st. I have looked EVERYWHERE and have no idea what to do or where to look. If anyone can help or has suggestions please let me know!
Hi everyone,
I was interested in taking the Introduction to Film and Video Production course and was wondering if anyone has taken it before. I am looking to do the Film and Video Production program certificate. If you have done this certificate or taken this course can you share about your experience?
Hi everyone,
I am looking for advice on how to improve my communication with my sister. She is younger than me and has been home visiting for a few weeks and I have just been feeling really drained so far.
She has a tendency to speak in a snarky and rude tone. Usually quite critical and can be very condescending. I am very reserved and quiet. I also am more dependent (not living alone atm) mostly due to health issues and financial constraints.
When I was talking about moving out on my own, she criticized me because I had called our Mom when I was having a really bad pain flare up and talked about how she was sick at times and had no one to call. She said when you live on your own you have to take care of yourself you can't just ask parents for help. I had only texted my Mom because I had specific medication I had bought for my pain condition and I couldn't find it in the house since I was having a bad flare up, so I just needed to see if I needed to buy more or if it had been moved somewhere.
There have been some moments that have just made me feel bad:
- When I had a bit of a freakout over a spider: "oh my god, I've NEVER seen anyone react like that! Wow, Oh my GOD".
- We were talking about how to better secure our doors at home after a break in: "Well you shouldn't be talking since SOME people in the house have left the lock unlocked before (my name)".
- When we had our break in, it was really scary, and I had called my friend just to talk as I felt really scared and stressed. My sister comes into my room while I am talking and tells me that I should not be speaking to anyone and the police said not to be sharing details with anyone (they did not tell me that.) However, she called one of her friends to come over when the break in happened and told multiple friends about it.
- Then I have a cousin who I am estranged from who I recently talked to and we have been seeing each other. My sister found out and repeatedly has been telling me oh do not talk to her about xyz, anything about our family at all, its ok if you want to be friends but dont share blahblah. Then I had told my cousin about the break in because I was supposed to see her on the weekend and had to cancel plans. My sister repeatedly said oh whatever you do don't tell her about the break in, then messaged me asking if I told her. She said if you did its OK but don't share details. It is really exhausting to have someone police my relationships.
- We had a situation with rodents in our house and as someone extremely phobic with mice I was really freaked out and was too scared to try to find it and catch it so she was the one who was really handling it. At one point she said, "What are you going to do if you live alone and you had to deal with this? What are you going to do?" I didn't answer her then she repeated my name and I still did not answer. I just felt really ashamed and I felt like I couldn't control my fear.
We are supposed to vacation together and I feel completely drained and am dreading our trip. She's not evil or anything, we do have fun together and she can be very supportive at times and it is not always so bad but its like I'm constantly afraid to say something or do anything that she might make fun of me for or criticize.
I'm just wondering in the moment how to respond to these type of comments. I don't like conflict but I want to go into this trip without stress and just enjoy myself. I don't know what to say next time she says this to me.
Hi everyone,
5 masked men broke into our home stealing ALL of my jewelry and my Mom's as well. The only pieces I am sad about were my high school ring and my disney Swarovski jewelry my dad bought for me when I was younger (more sentimental).
I'm feeling really sad about it and end of the day everyone is safe, no one got hurt but that was really devastating. I could find the bracelet on ebay and potentially get a new ring but its not the same you know? The robbers got head start from when the police got to our house so even if I check pawn shops I'm pretty sure everything is just gone and I have to accept it. My gold necklace and ring are gone but honestly I had no emotional attachment to those and we have insurance so whatever.
I feel a bit naive for leaving my stuff in my drawers eg could have put them somewhere hard to find but I know its not my fault.
If you've lost sentimental things how did you cope and do you have suggestions on where to store things.
Hi everyone,
I have coarse, wavy hair. One issue for me is anytime I blow dry it I end up with a layer of frizz on the outside and it looks really messy.
Current routine:
- Wash my hair with Aveda Be Curly Advanced. I will maybe 1x per week wash with Neutrogena Healthy Scalp shampoo.
- I tend to take hot showers.
- Use Aveda botanical repair leave in treatment in damp hair.
- Use microfibre towel to put up my hair.
- Blo dry and style hair (have trialed doing this immediately after showering and letting air dry about 75%). I do it in sections and use a roundbrush, and twist it around at the end to give a bit of a curl/wave.
I love the Aveda shampoo, it really helped with the texture, but its just that frizzy layer afterwards that is annoying.
I recently tried using Amika The Shield anti humidity hairspray afterwards, but didn't really do anything. I do this routine about 3 times per week. I use the Garnier smoothing gel/stick thing for flyaways but it does make my hair a bit sticky.
I usually find sometimes when I dry my hair my roots feel greasy/has build up and I do notice dandruff. I feel like maybe I am am not using my blow dryer correctly (e.g. too high heat? should it be dried immediately after or wait a certain amount of time).
I am also going to be traveling in August where the humidity will be high, so trying to see how to manage it while I am traveling.
Very open to feedback and tips, thank you!
Hi everyone,
I am looking for ideas for comfortable swimwear as I am taking a beach vacation in August. I would like to go swimming and spend time in the pool but bathing suits are often irritating or when I go to pee after I get a lot of burning.
Any suggestions for swimwear that is not too tight and a bit more comfortable? Also any brands of underwear that are soft, not too tight and is more sweat resistant? Traveling can be tough for me and am also just anxious of having bad flare ups.
Hi everyone,
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I am an adult learner who recently started back with lessons about 6 months ago. I am at an intermediate level (RCM Grade 6). I have a teacher but am looking for some feedback from others.
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I have been working on rubato which I am finding quite challenging. I don't know if I am really getting it but it is something my teacher and I have been working on with a few pieces.
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Here is one piece I am working on (Yesterday, the Beatles). I am looking for feedback on:
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- Rubato
- Dynamics and expression
- I have noticed with recording myself my wrist tends to bounce around. If anyone has suggestions or feedback on arm/wrist/finger position would appreciate that and just general physicality
- Pedaling (can sometimes be blurry)
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Thank you!
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I have found a few times that I have been frustrated with medical doctors advice...I tell them repeatedly that I can't use a tampon, that a one finger touch causes 10 out of 10 pain, I cannot have internal exams because of my pain. Then my doctor sends a requisition for a transvaginal ultrasound even though I already told her I cannot tolerate them. Or recommends suppositories or creams to be inserted and it's like...did you not hear me? If I can't handle someone touching the opening of my vagina and I cannot tolerate internal exams, why are you recommending this...or if you are there needs to be pain relief options. Then when I decline they seem surprised or make me feel like I am being difficult.
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I don't know if Im just getting really burned out from all these medical appointments and have just become really negative, but I'm really exhausted with having to explain my pain tolerance levels. It makes me feel like they are not listening to me.
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Hi everyone
I booked a trip to Cancun and will be staying in Playa del Carmen in August. I realized only after about the sargassum situation - I would like to be by the beach so I don't think I will really enjoy myself. I believe August is the peak month.
My flight is non refundable but I can still cancel my hotel. If I wanted to stay somewhere accessible from the Cancun airport, do you have recommendations?
Hi everyone,
I have been looking for airport transfers to my resort (Devossion).I am looking at Happy Shuttle and Canada Transfers. For Happy Shuttle I am getting $220 roundtrip, Canada Transfers is about 250 (Canadian) which seems quite high compared to what other people have paid. Is this a typical price for private transfers? I've read mostly good reviews for both so if anyone has used them recently please let me know your experience!
I have been doing PT for about 6 months 1x per week. I was making some good progress (less knife like pain, able to get size 3 dilator inside pretty smoothyl) but had a set back for the past month where even the size 1 is hard to get in and am having more pain. I drive a lot for my job unfortunately and try to do my stretches and dilator work at home but its like I've regressed to baseline. Im really disappointed and am struggling with the cost as well. I have history of trauma as well and can't seem to relax at all while in session if my PT is touching me.
I'm really sad and dejected and don't know if its worth it to continue. I was thinking possibly of doing therapy to see if I can manage my anxiety and trauma better to see if that may help with staying calm and not being so tense.
Should I continue with PT? It is really pricey, I wpuld like to try to get back to where I was before but am just feeling motivated. I was thinking of getting suppositories that may help with muscle relaxation or doing more exercises on my own but am not sure how to proceed.
TW: Reference to SA
I started PT about 8 months ago, usually 1x per week I have been going to sessions. I am finding that my past sexual trauma has been really hard to deal with as it was in a medical setting, so trying to relax and engage in dilator exercises has been really hard for me. I noticed i had made some good progress and made it to the 4th size, but about 1 month ago I regressed and am back to baseline (on 2nd size). I am considering on pausing PT and seeing if I can focus more on trauma therapy, possibly EMDR to see if that may help bring my reactivity down and make me more comfortable when my PT uses dilators on me, but I don't want to lose momentum. PT is also really expensive (am paying out of pocket) but I have coverage for therapy.
Any thoughts on if I should just continue PT or maybe focus on therapy and continue on my own with physical exercises until I am more mentally prepared for PT? I think because when I am laying down on the bed it is like a flashback to my trauma and my whole body is just so tense. I am not sure what to do. Or maybe do both simultaneously?
I am planning on traveling to Cancun and am looking at these two resorts. Looking for info specifically for food quality, cleanliness, overall vibe, any things you wish you knew before going. Are there club or premium options and were they worth it. I am looking for a more chill vibe. I don't care too much about actually swimming in the ocean but just want to go sit and just read a book. I've watched YouTube videos and there are a lot of mixed reviews so aa ted to see of anyone went recently. Thank you!
I am planning a trip to Puerto Vallarta in July or August. Dreams looks nice, seems to have good reviews. Main thing for me is more nice pools and beach access and good restaurants. I've read some great and some terrible reviews so just wanted to see if anyone stayed there recently. I was looking at the Premium rooms.
Also any issues with people trying to sell you things eg timeshare etc.? What is the crowd like? How was the food and size of pools/access to the beach? Is premium worth it and of you stayed in the premium rooms what were the perks? How was access to lounge and beach chairs? Anything you wished you knew before booking there and would you stay again?
Hi everyone,
I have been struggling at work to follow through tasks and ensure I am checking over things but am in a cycle of procrastination. I have to enter billing codes into my schedule but sometimes I forget or know I should check but think I will do it later. I have been reprimanded by admin for this as it adds a lot of work on their end. I'm not really sure why I keep in this pattern as I will feel really terrible, but then will mess up again. I don't know if it is just general apathy I am feeling or if I just assume it can be fixed later but haven't been considerate of our teamwhjch obviously is not ok. This is a quality that I do not like in myself. I generally do not like feeling reprimanded and this is an ongoing issue but I seem to fall into the same cycle over and over.
I have set alarms on my phone to check over my schedule daily and put it in my calendar for morning and night. My goal is to avoid getting messages from admin team and making sure everything is in correctly by end of day.
I really don't know why I am just feeling motivated and lazy as this is obviously causing problems for others on our team. I am working this week on just having check through the day and doing everything in the moment so I don't leave it and then forget about it.
Does anyone else have similar issues or find themselves in this cycle? I really want to do better and know it is my responsibility to do so, and I hope my alarms and daily checks can help prevent issues. I just generally have been feeling kind of apathetic with my job and I find admin in general is a real issue for me especially when there are multiple messages, chats and emails with changes through the day. But I am not being considerate of others' time and need to improve this as that is not the person I strive to be.
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I work at a job where I work with kids who have disabilities. I see clients each day, supervise assistants, complete reports, document sesions, travel to other sites outsode of the clinic I work at.
There is a lot of admin mistakes I have been making to my schedule (forgetting billing codes, entering things in too late, if there are changes to scheduling not entering them right away) and I have been reprimanded by the head of admin as this causes much more work for them. This has been an ongoing problem for me and I really need a way to make sure I am on top of things. I have gotten messages a few times before about this problem.
It's like I know I have been told many times and I just keep either forgetting or just hoping admin can fix things and I have not at all been stopping to think how much extra work I am causing them. Or there are changes to scheduling addressed in emails or our work chat group and I miss a message or don't change something right away then forget. Most of my day I spend trying to catch up and get through documentation which takes up a big chunk of time.
I wish I could say I had a legitimate excuse for all of this but I don't. I don't know why I am just repeating this cycle of making mistakes, getting negative feedback, feeling bad, then just repeating this pattern. I do not want to continue this way. I think from my end it doesn't seem like an inconvenience but obviously admin has many other employees and daily tasks and this is piling extra work on them.
I have set daily alarms for myself as reminders to check my schedule by end of day but was wondering if anyone had suggestions for how I can improve and be more organized. I feel in others areas of life I have also felt apathetic and my actions don't align with the type of person I want to be.
Any feedback or suggestions are welcome. I really want to address this and take actions to improve and develop better habits.