u/throwaway_ok10

I’m not even really sure how to word this. But i used to be obese, had horrible looking hair and makeup, dressed like a boy, etc. I was just very ugly, gross to look at.

Now, I still definitely don’t look like most pretty girls, but i have lost 100 pounds, learned how to style myself, do my makeup and my hair, etc.

I finally got male attention for the first time ever (i even have a boyfriend now wtf), i get more compliments, people are nicer to me

But, I still feel the exact same way as i did before. I feel like a slob, i feel so disgusting. my skin feels so uncomfortable all of the time. How do you even begin to love yourself when your entire life you’ve been told to do the opposite?

I’m just curious because I scroll through this sub all the time and I feel exactly the same way you guys do, even now that i’ve had a “glow up.”

idk, i’m just rambling now. what do you guys think?

I was very disgusting to look at a while back, i was obese, had ugly hair and makeup, and just generally very ugly.

at that time, people treated me like shit. i was invisible in social groups (ESPECIALLY if men were there), my family talked down on me, strangers weren’t kind to me, etc. it was all because of my looks. although i had awful self esteem and hated the way i looked, i always knew that i was smart, kind, funny, talented, etc. but none of that mattered because i was hideous

Now, im down 100 pounds. i have good style, do my makeup better, learned how to style my hair, and my whole life is so different. people treat me like a person now, i feel respected, i feel better about myself

However, everytime i have these conversations (especially with conventionally, attractive people who have never experienced this) they always down play it. it’s like their brains can’t comprehend someone treating you differently because of the way you look

We have to start being honest with ourselves and with society that your looks do matter, they REALLY matter.

as shitty as it is, that’s the truth.

i just will never understand it. i don’t care how long a girl and their bf have been together for, why does it have to be one or the other? why can’t you have a boyfriend AND friends? it’s genuinely infuriating but it’s also embarrassing.

Before I get into it, most of my family are immigrants, I am a first gen. I acknowledge my privilege and I know I have had opportunities that most of my family did not.

I don’t see my family much, but when i do it constantly feels like everyone’s trying to tell me how to live my life and gives me advice that’s not warranted. It’s simple things like, “your parents sacrificed a lot for you, don’t mess it up”, “don’t fall behind”, “don’t do this don’t do that” blah blah.

I know it doesn’t sound bad, but as i said it is CONSTANT. the reason it makes me feel worse is because i’ve always felt like the black sheep, none of my accomplishments were ever celebrated, but most importantly, i have proved myself my ENTIRE LIFE. always on honor roll, graduated high school early, mostly a’s with some b’s, now in college with a high GPA. worked and am still working, live in an apartment and pay my rent in a city that i love, don’t drink or smoke, etc. i’m not sure what more i can do to prove that im not gonna fuck it up. I am responsible and capable and I feel that I have shown time and time again that i know what i am doing.

I’ve also accomplished more than majority of my family members, for example, being the first one in my family to attend college.

I’m not saying i deserve praise, but it would be nice to have my family be proud instead of the things that they say.

I think it makes it worse because they constantly belittled me as a child, probably caused some issues there which makes their comments feel worse than they actually are.

i’m just rambling at this point, maybe im overreacting i don’t know. just wanted to get it off my chest cause it’s been simmering for years.

Before I get into it, most of my family are immigrants, I am a first gen. I acknowledge my privilege and I know I have had opportunities that most of my family did not.

I don’t see my family much, but when i do it constantly feels like everyone’s trying to tell me how to live my life and gives me advice that’s not warranted. It’s simple things like, “your parents sacrificed a lot for you, don’t mess it up”, “don’t fall behind” blah blah.

I know it doesn’t sound bad, but as i said it is CONSTANT. the reason it makes me feel worse is because i’ve always felt like the black sheep, none of my accomplishments were ever celebrated, but most importantly, i have proved myself my ENTIRE LIFE. always on honor roll, graduated high school early, mostly a’s with some b’s, now in college with a high GPA. worked and am still working, live in an apartment and pay my rent in a city that i love, don’t drink or smoke, etc. i’m not sure what more i can do to prove that im not gonna fuck it up. I am responsible and capable and I feel that I have shown time and time again that i know what i am doing.

I’ve also accomplished more than majority of my family members, for example, being the first one in my family to attend college.

I’m not saying i deserve praise, but it would be nice to have my family be proud instead of the things that they say.

I think it makes it worse because they constantly belittled me as a child, probably caused some issues there which makes their comments feel worse than they actually are.

i’m just rambling at this point, maybe im overreacting i don’t know. just wanted to get it off my chest cause it’s been simmering for years.

I posted this on the other AMA sub but it got taken down/: I enjoy having conversations with believers, and I like asking and answering questions about this topic so yeahh ask me anything

I am a young woman, I was laying in my bed when i heard my screen door open, my room is very close to the living room so i heard it very clearly, i walk towards the peephole and see a man standing right in front of my door. He’s on his phone. I then hear him moving things around my porch.

I wanted to call the cops or confront him or something but I felt like it wasn’t serious enough to do anything so I just left it, but I’m terrified, shaking right now. I don’t know what to do

i’m scared he’s going to come back

I (19f) met a friend in my math class in college, I told her that I was figuring out where to live next semester and she told me she had an extra room. I was obviously excited, because I love this girl a lot

However, she told me that her roomates were extremely religious. (I’m an atheist) And one of them said something along the lines of wanting to surround herself with “only christians” , the other felt like she was being replaced, etc.

I feel really weird about this, and sad. They don’t even know me, my character, anything about me, and they’re casting all these judgements

It’s already official, I can’t get out of it. I’m moving in , but i’m not sure how i’m going to navigate this.

Any advice?

i recently gained some of it back but planning on losing it again. i thought this would be interesting because i am young and grew up overweight my entire life (especially being 5’3 😬), so you can imagine how difficult it was.

I think this is a unique experience especially at this young of an age so, AMA