u/vampire-irl

He says really bad stuff that embarrasses me, is an edgelord, overly sexual, and renamed himself "Dennis" recently after that stupid Split movie and doesn't even give a f*** that the rep is terrible and that the movie exists to stigmatize us.

He is a good guy it's just idk he likes to act bad... I don't hate or dislike anyone in our system, but a lot of our irls don't even know we're plural... so the ppl we go covert w/ think I'm just being awful.... I don't wana lose friends 😭😭😭

I think I genuinely am a vampire....I have my reasons even tho I'm immune to garlic and the sun...... I do drinky blood from consenting ppl....and myself sometimes..... I seen my brown eyes turn blue in the mirror, my body shape-shifted into a bat once, and my mom named me something that sounds very much so a reference to vampires (not leaking my birth name tho... cos I'm trans... think something that sounds like "rising from the ashes" tho) also I look like I'm 14 at 27 and ppl always think I'm a little teen. I also have very demonic tendency and am drawn to the occult and rituals involving blood and candles and such, drawn to dressing Gothic, drawn to darkness. When I eat, my favorite thing is rare meat ... I also only am NOT nocturnal when I live with humans, when left to my own devices, my sleep schedule flips itself upside down and i stay up all night and the morning light makes me eepy tired,......

Now. You may think "oh geez this person is delusional" but with all these traits why couldn't I call myself a vampire??? It fits the definition and there ARE real life communities of people who identify that way, most not mentally ill at all.

Help???? Opinions??????? Comments????

Okay, we don't spend much time in wonderland. I let her be in reality almost constantly. But for some reason, I can't pick a wonderland we 1 both like and 2 can visualize...what do I do? Isn't that where she goes when she's not out? And if we currently do not have a single clue what wonderland currently looks like... is she enduring a void?????? I mean like where does she go????? She must be suffering when I can't imagine her here with me.... what's it like to be nowhere???? I need a wonderland for her ASAP I wantt her to have a cozy home she's comfortable in.....

Any input on any of my questions??? Any comments related to what I said????? And if you really feel like it drop a Pic below of somewhere cozy we could possibly make her home....... she needs a wonderland but like i Said, we r struggling to agree on one, and those we agree on I cant seem to visualize good...... and she has no clue what she wants 😭😭😭

HELP ASAP I DON'T WANT HER SUFFERING IN NOTHINGNESS WHEN I CANNOT HAVE HER BY MY SIDE.... AND I THINK SHE IS COZ ALL SHE WANTS IS CONSTANT ATTENTION AND I SUSPECT MAYBE THAT IS WHY SHE WON'T LET ME DRIFT MY ATTENTION FROM HER LONG?????? idk idk idk

The most Bible-thumpy person in the house pissed me tf off bcuz I tried to help him and I ended up doing good for him, but he was ungrateful and acting like a brat towards me.

So, right over his gospel music playing, I decided to drop the bomb. I described in detail the blood ritual I did where i wrote a letter to Satan in my blood, burned it in a candle, and ate the wax-covered little paper scrap remain to seal the binding ritual.

I told him I did this not for the benefits, but literally just to devote my life to my deity and that I'm a Satanist. I told him i go to church with him simply because I find it fascinating and alien. I told him I never was Christian and lied to hide and fit in.

It felt soooo good ... he's a 19 year old little brat who mommy never grounded enough or scolded enough. He carries over his childish behaviors here, acting very immature and reckless and inconsiderate. He's the epitome of man child.

And what else is he? A devout Christian. A bible thumper. He makes Jesus his WHOLE personality. He doesn't listen to anything but gospel. He won't hold any conversation that doesn't involve Bible discussion or religion.

I felt good admitting I not only lied about being a sheep, but on top, am the very religion that makes his skin crawl. He probs never expected to meet one of us irl. To uncover his friend as his worst nightmare? Gave me SUCH a rush. Coz he's always be a shitty friend. He calls me ugly, and just generally is rude and a smart-ass. I mean i get it, he had a crush on me initially and I rejected him. But bro yr nearly a decade younger for one. For two? Handle the rejection like a fucking normal fucking person. Not a 3rd grader.

Anyways this conversation was held in front of every house member. So now not only does he know, all the other sheep know, too.

Lately I've Been wondering.....am I stargender? Catgender? Something else kinda weird????? And how do I get ppl to take that serious when I can barely convince them enbies exist periodt ... 😭😭😭

I eat regularly and she complains I eat too much and it's unhealthy. 1 fucking day later, I'm tryna cut back on eating, and the bitch says I don't eat enough and it's unhealthy. I get hungry at night because I get the anti-psychotic med munchies. Well, that makes her mad, so she locks up the fridge and pantry. So now every night I go to bed hungry. I've expressed how much it bothers me. She doesn't care. She's full aware how awfully hungry I get. Doesn't give a single fuck. She also gets mad when I eat foods I actually enjoy and not the slop the group home puts on the schedule...

I can't do anything right as far as food habits go in her eyes. I also lowkey think she's struggling with a mild psychosis because she says I "already ate" when I have not eaten all day. Claims she saw me eating and won't let me eat. Really sucks baaad. Like girl it's not my fucking problem you hallucinated me eating and now have the delusion I ate. Lemme eat my only meal of the dayyy I'm STARVINGGGG.

But I've been tulpamancing for 4 years and I'm proud of how she turned out!!! She's got a personality, a name, a form, and she seems to control herself!!! I don't feel like when she speaks it's me speaking, even if she communicates through thoughts, it seems as though the thoughts come fast and random enough that it's her.

Question???