Since this sub was so valuable in the preparation phase I thought I'd give a little something back, maybe it will appear in someone's search and be useful.

We just got back from our first HAL cruise. Rotterdam-Copenhagen-Oslo-Kristiansand-Stavanger-Rotterdam on the Rotterdam. For context we're a Dutch couple, live in the Netherlands, in our early 50s and after a short AIDA and longer Azamara trip this is our third cruise. We're active, not big drinkers and like a good meal.

It was an interesting experience, full ship with, according to the cruise director, about 70% of passengers sailing HAL for the first time

Embarkation in the Rotterdam cruise terminal with the company's old head office just down the street and the Rotterdam 5 moored nearby, was a fairly smooth experience despite a computer glitch. HAL staff was handing out water and caught up on the delay caused by the glitch quickly. Arrival back in Rotterdam also went smoothly. We carried our own luggage from the ship and were in the terminal in minutes.

On board we found our cabin, 1048 easily. An inside cabin because that was all that was left. Despite us using the website to request this at check-in the beds weren't separated but that was fixed fairly quickly. Cabin is small but well thought out and was clean and in good working order. The colour scheme makes it appear more spacious. Bathroom layout really works, the small space never felt tiny. We did get noise from the piano bar above us but not as much as I feared and occasionally from that ridiculously loud band on the rolling stone stage. The noise from the corridor and the cabin next to us I found disappointing for such a new ship. Slamming doors shook the walls of our cabin and I could follow the phone conversation next door word by word.

Onboard venues.

Dutch cafe,

very popular destinations with queues almost at all times. Good coffee, some of the food was made from good Dutch recipes but by someone who'd never tasted the original it seemed. The result was well made, tasty and almost like the original.

Crow's nest

Lovely space, good coffee, bit slow service at times. A two man crew behind that bar would work a lot better. Seating space is way too small for how popular it is, especially on sea days.

Dive-in

It's a burger bar. They offer a gluten-free bun which is nice. And tiny portions of chips with your burger. Which is OK because they use those fake chips covered in some kind of flour coating. Burger's really dry, hardly any sauce or topping on it. Not really worth the wait.

New york pizza

Tried this place for breakfast one morning. Actually, a really nice option if you want a simple breakfast. A bagel with lox and a coffee they do well and it's a good place to sit and enjoy the landscape going by or to watch the mooring of the ship. Have not tasted the pizzas but they looked good.

Room service

Tried this twice for breakfast, worked quite well except the yoghurt portions are tiny. Each time delivery within 15 minutes of the requested time which I found quite good. Tried them once for dessert and coffee in the evening which took almost an hour and yielded old coffee.

Various bars..

Most of them seem to offer the same products. Which are canned sodas and liquor to mix them with. Beer selection was limited, many bars don't even offer tap beer and what beer they offered in cans was mostly mediocre crappy brands like Heineken, Stella and even Coors.

Non or low alcohol options were few, the mocktail isn't a big thing yet and a request for a radler stumped the staff. Even a sparkling water was a big ask in many places. Fruit juices were typically limited to orange or pineapple. No place on deck 2, where the entertainment is centred, has coffee or tea.

Also, most staff are working so hard that they don't really have any patience with guests who aren't ready to bark out an order at them.

I had a have it all package, I don't think I ever came near the limit on that.

Tamarind

Menu looks a bit weird, it's sort of all over the map Asian inspired. But actually, it's quite tasty food, well prepared and well served in a pleasant ambiance. Also a pot of jasmin tea with our meal was no problem. Didn't like the tiny chairs all that much but otherwise fine.

Sel de mer

What a shit show! Booked a table for 8.30pm, was apparently a surprise to the maitre d that we actually came at that time and they had to clear and set a table for us. Waiter felt it necessary to explain the entire menu to us like we were children and this was the only staff member where I really struggled with his accent which did not help things. He did keep me from ordering sole meuniere which they apparently coat in breadcrumbs and fry in light butter. I thought I heard that wrong so asked again but yes, bread crumbs and light butter (WTF is light butter!?)

Offering us a drink, asking us if we wanted anything from the bar or if we wanted wine is apparently not a thing in Sel de mer either.

Starters were actually really nice, nice little beetroot thing for me and a somewhat deconstructed Nicoise salad for my partner which featured a generous piece of seared tuna. For mains the sides were way, WAY too greasy. Haricots swimming in butter, celeriac puree which was more like a buttery celeriac sauce. Steak was also buttered but unfortunately quite sinewy and raw near the bone while I'd ordered medium rare. My partner's duck was decent but seemed precooked and finished on the grill.

Dessert, oh dear, dessert.... Warm Strawberry Tarte Tatin was a load of sickly sweet strawberries served on top of some soggy puff pastry. Île flottante is a massive mountain of Swiss meringue sitting in a moat of rich chocolate sauce. Not a light fluffy affair sitting on a creamy custard. And to make this worse there was a distinct crunch of sugar grains in the white mountain. Now I make meringue sometimes and when you can still taste sugar crystals in the finished dish it's time to curse and admit it went wrong and try again.

So when our waiter came over and we explained to him that this was a bad meringue he started stuttering something about the dessert being too big to finish for most people. I just looked at him and explained again that you shouldn't taste sugar crystals in a meringue. He stuttered, disappeared and appeared a few minutes later with a receipt to sign. Apparently, that was it. That whole excuse felt like gaslighting. Certainly not like we were valued customers.

Main dining room

Tried this for one brunch, one dinner, and the Dutch afternoon tea

Afternoon tea was cute, some pretty sweets and the whole place was decorated for king's day which was a really nice gesture. Sandwiches were nice, (a gluten free option if we'd pre-booked would have been nice after all they have gluten free bread on board) only the stroopwafel napoleon didn't work, they get soggy. Personally I'd have preferred a pot of tea on the table instead of having to flag people for tea refills but all in all it was cute.

Brunch... some weird dishes on the menu. Portions small, getting a mimosa was quick, getting some coffee or tea was an effort. Also getting annoyed by the constant ice floating in my tap water. General experience, OK-ish.

Dinner.

We showed up all dressed up since the day's dress code was chique and were seated within minutes which was nice. When seated asking the guests if they'd like a drink is something that happens on land maybe but not to guests in this dining room. When ordering we requested some side dishes, some vegetables and potatoes or anything. The waiter said yes but we never saw any.

Wife orders a pumpkin tartlet for mains. Which turned out to be a slice of pumpkin on a slice of soggy puff pastry on a spoonful of cooked grain, farro? wheat? Some grain which wasn't mentioned on the menu. When asked the wait staff insisted that this was quinoa, waiter, assistant maître d (who claimed to have checked with the cook) . I know quinoa and I don't mind it but the wife intensely hates the stuff. And it was an important distinction to us because she's somewhat wheat intolerant and a heap of cooked wheat and a sheet of puff is asking for problems. My main by the way came with one spoonful of broad beans and no carbs.

After this gaslighting attempt by the wait staff, we just gave up and walked out, went to Lido market. My wife was the only woman dressed up in the Lido market, the restaurant where they actually do serve food and are happy to see you.

In general, I don't really get the main dining room. Menu seems poorly designed, it all feels rushed and you don't exactly get the feeling you just had a meal. It seems style over substance.

Lido market

Load of different stations all manned by hardworking staff who mostly seem proud to serve you what they have and do so with a cheerful attitude. Place is noisy though and on a full ship seating can sometimes be a bit tricky to find. Most foods were pretty good, some were excellent. When in doubt, chose the Asian options, those were consistently really nice just a bit lacking in spice heat. What I didn't like:

Butter is hard to come by during breakfast, only a few stations carry it and most days a hardworking staff member has to serve it to you. Self service butter would have been easier
Jam is just not there! There are a few jars of American sugar free jam but that's it, no normal jam! All hotels have jam, even the cheapest continental breakfast. Ikea gives you jam if you buy their insanely cheap breakfast
Soft boiled eggs are ridiculously soft. Like a 90 second egg.

We had most of our meals in the Lido market. My wife loved the omelettes and the eggs benedict for breakfast. I enjoyed the smoked salmon although finding some dark bread was a struggle. There's pumpernickel most days but it's always in short supply and a bit of a gamble which station has it. As a nod to the Nordic itinerary there was also herring at breakfast but no knackerbrod.

For lunch we tried tacos for the very first time and actually liked those. With a salad on the side a taco made a good lunch.

Entertainment

There's a big stage, well equipped but underused. We had a terrible comedian, some lady with a flute and a synth backing track. And one bigger act, a singer with 2 male and 4 female dancers. Really rather mediocre shows compared to Azamara and AIDA.

BB king blues had a good and loud blues band who sometimes did songs which to their surprise fell really flat with their European audience. But they worked hard and it was a good band.

The band in the rolling stone area was compensating for a lack of experience by being loud, I think. The piano duo was working hard but again, some of their repertoire wasn't connecting with the European audience.

I personally quite liked the chamber music trio they had in the late afternoon. BB king isn't the best venue for that, lot of distractions from the foot traffic but they did well with the occasional exceptionally well (their Haydn and Elgar pieces). Would have liked it if the app told me which of their shows was what.

Other activities varied and one thing they could learn from azamara is indicating on the daily program what is an unattended activity and what not. The knitter's meetup the first day was basically my wife and one other lady showing up hoping to learn how to knit. The arts and crafts activities were overcrowded.

Swimming pool.

There are two options here, a bigger one under a sliding roof which is NOISY with all the screaming children and the loud music. And a smaller one at the rear next to the smoking area. Pools were clean and well kept.

Public spaces in general

It seems HAL doesn't want you to sit somewhere, relax and watch the world go by. Public seating is fairly limited, and they have this obsession with filling every public space with music. Often fairly loud music. Outside space, truly outside space, is fairly limited. Many other ships have 2-3 decks where you can walk around outside and where there will be a few deckchairs. On the Rotterdam there's a very windy area on deck 14 where you could lounge but during our trip it was just way too windy. On deck 12 there's a load of space with tents and some seats behind a barrier where which was always deserted. Nobody knew what that was all about.

Excursions.

We went on a RHIB trip which was very well arranged. They used a well known local company which I'd have booked directly if not for the cruise credit in the have it all package. It would have been nice if there was coffee in the waiting area instead of soft drinks for sale but hey.

At all stops we moored really close to town, so it was easy enough to walk into town and amuse ourselves. Not the AIDA practice of mooring 5km from anywhere and charge for a bus ticket to town. Upon return staff waited with cookies and hot chocolate which is apparently their thing. It's a bit weird on the warmest spring day in norwegian history to see staff in their bad weather gear offering hot chocolate and wondering why so few guests accepted it.

Overall verdict?

HAL is the third cruise line we tried. And it's good but not perfect. If I could have HAL's Lido market food and standard of cleaning in an Azamara ship I would be a regular cruiser. Or even HAL's smoking rules and theatre seating on an AIDA ship.

With the lack of quiet public seating and the mediocre and repetitive entertainment I would not want to sail this company for a longer cruise, I think. I liked their service when things went ok but was disappointed when things went wrong. We had what felt like a gaslighting attempt both times.

Would I sail with them again? Maybe, depending on the itinerary. We have now learned that American bar culture really isn't our thing. I've learned that it is possible to have good self-service food on a ship and that I value an area on a ship where you can lounge and just watch the world go by very much.

u/wijnandsj

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