u/xoherent

I have endometriosis since two years and was diagnosed last year. My symptoms were extremely bad and I got bedridden. I had to take a break from my thriving career and felt so awful. I was someone who was always doing something, always in my go go go energy. High achiever, high performer, just an extremely hard worker who pushed herself to the extreme end and then some more. I was also conditioned to derive my value from what I can do, and how I can be of service — in society, in my career, in relationships, even with myself.

So, since a whole year, I haven't done anything at all. I can't even do household chores. The year before that, my health and career was declining with me having no control over it.

I applied Dr. Joe's teachings to my condition. At first, within a month of doing so, I started feeling grateful for my body that it was trying to make things work and still keep me as functional as possible because endometriosis is a horrible disease.. it affects the body so much. I was amazed my body was still trying it's best despite of what was happening on the inside.

Recently I've started feeling unusually positive about the disease itself. Like, I'm thankful for the disease? If it makes sense.. it taught me how to rest and how to still feel valuable and completely alright without always working and being of service. I'm actually feeling thankful for the break I took from my career. Logically, it sounds so wild that I'm feeling this way about the break and the disease but idk, I'm not feeling bad about my disease at all!! I'm feeling extremely thankful for it.

I'm a little afraid though, because what you're thankful for increases in your life but idk why I've been feeling this way..

Is this a good sign? Is this progress or..?

I've been following the law since a few years. At first, I thought I've hit the jackpot as there were so many things I could improve in my life. First few years were genuinely fun and after that as I targeted more resistant desires, I became more aggressive. I did end up manifesting whatever I desired or something even better.

Since a few months, things have been different. I still 100% believe in the law, I can still manifest but everything feels meaningless now. At our core, we're all imagination and 3D is the dead space where old assumptions show up. I've reached a point in life where nothing makes me happy anymore.. feels like I'm doing everything. Everything is constructed by me even love connection doesn't feel special now. Nothing feels special.

Has anyone else dealt with something similar? How to cope with this?

I remember till middle school (10th grade), I used to absolutely love the subject of physics. It was my absolute favorite and I used to get perfect scores without even trying, it was just so fun for me to solve the questions. Seeing that I solved every question correctly would make me absolutely elated.

As I got promoted to high school (11th grade), the syllabus changed a lot. It felt like a huge jump from what we had been studying in the previous grades. Our teacher was changed too and now came a male teacher who had no interest in really teaching the subject. He'd leave all the work to us, would just talk about things that he liked in the subject to flex about his skills and would belittle almost everyone so all students avoided talking to him. To make matters worse, he would also touch the back of any girl he liked and would keep moving his hand for minutes. He did this openly in front of the whole classroom. It was extremely uncomfortable to witness/experience. I also had a lot of trauma around unwanted touch so I got severely depressed and couldn't cope. I could not study at all and started declining in grades.

At that time, her daughter was our batchmate but in another class. I knew her from middle school. I used to often wonder whether or not to report him and how it will affect his family and his daughter. I would stay in this dilemma for so long. Eventually my friends and I decided to report because he wasn't teaching properly either and he failed two of us. That broke my confidence completely and all of my suppressed feelings started returning. I did pass the subject on a supplementary exam but I couldn't study like I used to. This affected me for four years. During the parent teachers meeting, he asked my parents to sent me to his lab every morning instead of me attending the assembly so he could privately tutor me as I had "very poor knowledge". My parents agreed and I was terrified to tell my parents as my mom would openly blame victims around me. I remember not going but one day he saw me in a corridor alone and came so close, pushing me against a wall asking why I'm not coming to his lab in the mornings. I said I'll be there tomorrow onwards. I also reached out to our school counselor for some other things and this matter as well. She suggested me to go and that she'll give me a phone or a device which I can ring as soon as anything goes wrong and she'd be there and catch him red-handed. I said yes but was terrified of following the plan so I chickened out. I made myself small and became a gray rock then onwards. Avoiding him, sitting in the corner unreachable by him, leaving as soon as possible. He didn't reach out but that affected me for a long time and changed my relationship with the subject of physics forever. I tried to pick up the books from that time again during my university vacations and it was just not the same.

He was also known to enter the girls hostel which was in our school campus anytime, even at night and make the girls uncomfortable (or harass them, idk), so much so, that he was banned from entering the hostel. He still wasn't removed from the job.

I don't know if I did the right thing and if I could've done anything better. Now that I'm in a marraigeable stage in life, I want to know how I could've handled this better because I feel one day I might have to do the hard talk with my daughter.

Thank you for reading the long post.

I met a guy in October 2022. Through university and work. He was a nepo person, son of the founder of the university who also served as the prime minister of his country a few years back and had 50+ businesses. Top 1% wealthy powerful family kinda thing. That also meant there was a lot of corruption and hidden stuff going on.

I was just a regular international student at his university and later worked at the same place for about a year. He was working there. He was close to my age.

I didn't like anyone working there. They were all inconsiderate and after money. My first interaction with him was pleasant but by second interaction i thought he was the same inconsiderate kind but then he did something for someone which broke his character for a moment and I started admiring him from there on. Weirdly enough, he used to post on our online group and I didn't know it was him and I liked him just from how he'd write. Later I found out it was the same person. I developed a crush on him but I knew nothing of his background—I thought he was just a regular employee.

When I found out I was shook and kinda scared tbh but I thought I shouldn't be scared of someone in power. Probably a limiting belief I need to work on and it's the same person still. He would interact very lovingly to me too. He'd do things which screamed that I held a special place in his mind.

Until one day I was affected by a corruption which affected my academic records. He said he'll help but when the time was near, he didn't help and agreed to let me take the fall. I was broken. His elder brother kinda saved me and reduced my losses. So I joined work under his elder brother to cover my expenses. During this time the younger brother tried many times to reduce the tension and reconcile but I'd just be civil but was clearly holding a grudge for 3 months. One day, he literally shifted to my office room. With his desk and everything. And sat right beside my desk. Must've been a coincidence but idk. It was getting hard to ignore him. I thought I'll stay civil, maybe I'll find who messed up my records by staying close. He did move back to his office the third day and soon after I found that it was him who had messed up my records. Months before we met and started interacting. He likely had forgotten about it that's why he was warm and friendly at first and cold when he let me take the fall.

But then I saw that he gave anyone access to his account which was weird because now it could mean that someone else did it from his account. So I gave him the benefit of doubt until cleared.

Then his elder brother mishandled my case and disappeared at the main time. Coincidentally I texted the younger one for something else and he asked if my case was resolved? I said no. He called me to his office. Spent hours with me. Made all arrangements which seemed impossible! And he made it happen. Felt like a full circle moment for real. All my feelings returned tens fold. Now he also got more open and close with me. Earlier it was just friendly, now it was caring, openly affectionate, flirty, prioritising me, being bothered by my time of leaving for my country, asking me to stay, all of that. I started manifesting him. And there was a vivid imagination which would always happen near him, I'd see us with each other with our kids running around. I saw that image again and again. I accepted this image internally and started manifesting him leaving the corruption and marrying me.

One day he told me he wanted to leave all of that social structure.. felt like he gave me consent to keep the dream alive. But he didn't leave. Within a month he was promoted so he doubled down. He looked very internally troubled but had also grew some walls around and was staying in isolation. He was distancing himself and next month he started being absent for weeks. Soon I heard the news that he's marrying someone. Same social class. Same wealthy family structure. Felt like a business deal but they also shared some emotion. Not like with me but it was enough for them to marry i guess. I went no contact.

Been 1.5 years. I can't move on. I've tried to. I know he's still mentally stuck. He chose safety over his soul's calling. He used to mumble things when nobody was around (someone he'd let his guards down around me like me being there didn't bother him) and he'd say things that suggested how deeply troubled he was by this lifestyle. He used to look at me with sparkles in his eyes when we used to talk. Like something came alive in him. He literally said that once metaphorically.

I know I have a whole life ahead of me but I can't move on. It feels like he's deeply connected to me still and I can't just ignore him. Like we're all one consciousness and it's hard to detach after recognising how attached we were (I don't even understand the full extent of it).

Even during our separation, he didn't say good bye. He said we'd meet someday. He behaved like he didn't want this at all. I don't know why he won't move. Now I got a tarot reading that he's settling down into his marriage and they both are trying for children and I'm feeling very anxious. I know the logical thing for me is to move on but I believe in law of assumption 100% and that feels like I left him and didn't hold his dream. I should prioritise myself but it's so hard to detach. I get anxious.. what can I do? 😭

I really need help.. some spiritual guidance

Can anyone DM if it's allowed? If it's not allowed I'll write it here but don't want to as some people who know me in real life follow this account

Have y'all seen those period cramps simulators that has gotten really popular on social media? Can we do something together and make an endometriosis pain simulator? It obviously won't cover all aspects of the pain but if we could make the intensity of the pain known, it would be a good start. What do you think?

We can present it to doctors and to anyone who tells us our pain isn't a lot 🚶🏼‍♀️

Have y'all seen those period cramps simulators that has gotten really popular on social media? Can we do something together and make an endometriosis pain simulator? It obviously won't cover all aspects of the pain but if we could make the intensity of the pain known, it would be a good start. What do you think?

We can present it to doctors and to anyone who tells us our pain isn't a lot 🚶🏼‍♀️

Hello, I want to share something I experienced recently knowing very well that it might not be very common, in fact maybe it's just me who experienced this but in case anyone has experienced this too, I'd love to hear about your experience as it would help me so much!

Recently I had a somatic release experience but it was to the thought of being with someone sensually who I felt safe with at that time (I imagined sexy time with him just for clarity). I was surprised at how my body felt safe and released so much of the stored trauma especially from my pelvic region and my legs that helped me feel like myself again in my body (earlier my legs used to feel like a sack of bricks that I dragged everywhere—I was so disconnected and there was no flow of energy).

My endo belly was reduced visibly by 70% and it felt like it was a 100% gone just within one hour of this unprompted immersive imaginative experience.

I think some somatic healing or some mind body connection thing happened there. I do not want to attach to the thought of him and want to do this on my own now so I just wanted to know if anyone has had any positive experience with somatic release and what exactly did you do.

Thank you so much!!

Hello, I want to share something I experienced recently knowing very well that it might not be very common, in fact maybe it's just me who experienced this but in case anyone has experienced this too, I'd love to hear about your experience as it would help me so much!

Recently I had a somatic release experience but it was to the thought of being with someone sensually who I felt safe with at that time (I imagined sexy time with him just for clarity). I was surprised at how my body felt safe and released so much of the stored trauma especially from my pelvic region and my legs that helped me feel like myself again in my body (earlier my legs used to feel like a sack of bricks that I dragged everywhere—I was so disconnected and there was no flow of energy).

My endo belly was reduced visibly by 70% and it felt like it was a 100% gone just within one hour of this unprompted immersive imaginative experience.

I think some somatic healing or some mind body connection thing happened there. I do not want to attach to the thought of him and want to do this on my own now so I just wanted to know if anyone has had any positive experience with somatic release and what exactly did you do.

Thank you so much!!

Is it possible to have this insane chemistry to someone and you're each other's ideal type and soo attracted to each other but at the same time, the way they're living their life drives me nutss. I definitely don't wanna continue talking to him but the chemistry is insanee. 😭 Relatable?