u/zzzoom1

Sitting at home at the moment after our son asked for me not to come to the park so he could just go with my husband. “I don’t want mommy to come, only you dad.” It’s a beautiful day out and I would love to be with them, but I’ve been rejected on and off all weekend and am emotionally exhausted. I would give anything to trade places with my husband. Never pictured that this is what motherhood would look like but here we are. Constantly on the outside looking in at my own family, showing up every day trying to be a part of it, and hoping for a few moments of each day where I’m not totally pushed away and rejected.

Sending love to all the other non-preferred parents out there. ❤️ It can be so hard some days. I wish I had known going in so I could have prepared.

This was the start of years worth of distant, aloof behavior on his part towards my kids. Talk about projection, right?

He comes to visit, but then barely makes an effort to engage and have conversation with the kids.

I will never understand it. It’s been shocking because he was a lovely, kind parent. I adored my dad growing up. I feel like I’m living in an alternate reality.

He’s remarried to an awful woman who acts miserable each and every visit, which I suspect has contributed to where we’re at today.

Has anyone else’s parents told them in a roundabout way like this why they’re so absent and disengaged as grandparents?

I was solo parenting this weekend with our 11 month old and 2.5 year old while my husband was out of town on a guys trip. Work has also been hectic lately, and my kids (and me) have been sick on and off with daycare illnesses for the past month. I told my husband before we went to bed last night that I’ve been feeling really burnt out and haven’t had a break in weeks. He was supportive in the moment and says he’ll support me anytime I need a break.

Then, this morning he tells our toddler that “mommy is going to take you” to his little friends birthday party this upcoming weekend and “daddy is going to stay here with baby sister while she naps.” ☠️

And then turns to me, and says he forgot to mention he’s taking a client to a baseball game tomorrow night and won’t be home until after the kids go to bed. (No issues with him having to do stuff for work like this, but this keeps happening where he forgets and tells me at the last minute)

Since our kids were there I sent him a strongly worded text telling him that he is now in charge of buying a calendar that will hang in our kitchen that he needs to update as soon as an event for work is scheduled, no more volunteering me for events until we have a mutual conversation first, and I will be leaving the house and doing something for myself at some point this weekend.

I am just incredulous and absolutely done with being treated like my bandwidth has no limits. Just venting and so frustrated. My husband is a smart man, and it’s really hard for me to look at situations like this and believe he really just doesn’t know or realize what he’s doing and how it impacts me. Regardless, it needs to stop.

My son (will be 3 in a few months) started showing a strong preference for his dad during the later stages of my second pregnancy, and it’s continued for over a year now since we had our daughter.

I felt like things had started to turn a corner after many months…I’ve been doing nighttime and morning routine with him and spending 1:1 time with him, whereas before he would push me away or have a tantrum if my husband wasn’t present.

A few weeks ago I was putting my son to bed, and he told me, “I really like you mommy.” It was such a sweet moment and I told him how much I like him and love him, and how lucky I am to be his mama.

Then, the next night as we were getting ready to have dinner, he said, “I really like you mommy, but you only like little sister because she’s a girl.” I reassured him right away and told him that no matter what happened that nothing, including little sister, could ever change how I felt about him and that I love him so much. I also apologized and said that I was so sorry if there was anything I had ever done to make him feel that way.

Things seemed to be okay from here. Then as I was doing bedtime routine with him last night, he told me that only his daddy loves him, that I don’t love him, I only love his sister. This was beyond devastating to hear. I love him to ends of the Earth and my heart is just shattered.

I’m so concerned and was hoping to get some perspectives from other moms. Did you experience anything like this after having your second child? I’m at the point where I’m considering contacting a family/child psychologist, but I don’t know whether I’m overreacting or should give it more time. I’m feeling heartbroken and like I’ve failed my son.

Having an emergency c-section was the most traumatic thing I’ve ever experienced. 8 months afterwards, and I was still calling my husband in the middle of the workday sobbing and having flashbacks to when I was on the operating table. I think it should be mandatory for them to at least ask if you’d like to have a therapist come and talk to you while you’re in the hospital, as well as other resources or referrals to mental health support ready to provide when you’re leaving to go home.

Or just me? 🤣 We’ve got a 2.5 yo and 10 month old and every other week I sit and calculate how much more I need to save before I can retire so that I don’t quit. I also have been tracking all my 529 contributions in a note on my phone, and seeing this has been helping too.

It’s just so rough right now. The burn out is strong and I’m sitting at my laptop just grumbling out loud to myself feeling like the ultimate gremlin post daycare drop off with my giant coffee mug, mismatched outfit, and ridiculous ponytail.

Happy Monday y’all.

2 kids under 2.5 yo, both work full-time demanding jobs, and they expect us to just be who we were pre-baby. Nothing is ever enough for them, they always have an angle, always trying to get more, the constant guilt trips about us being “so busy now” and they “never see us” (which isn’t true, we see them at least monthly) and it’s like…why are you guys so out of touch?? It makes my blood boil. There’s been so much more with them in terms of controlling behavior that this is just another nail in the coffin. Any time I’m around them it just feels like there’s zero room to be the person I need to be for my family without it offending them. My husband and I aren’t supposed to evolve and focus on the family we created, we just need to fit their needs, their ideals, their agenda, and continue to defer to them. Nope. Just so done and so over it…

Epic toddler tantrum, an early presentation at 9:30 this morning, husband out of town for work, during tantrum my coworker messages me and says she’s not going to be able to make the presentation so I need to fly solo and my 10 month old has a blowout.

Somehow convinced my toddler to get ready, changed baby’s blowout, got them out of the door and dropped off at daycare by 8:55. RACED home, shoved food in my mouth, and did the presentation. I’m sitting here at my desk just staring into space now like wtf just happened…

My husband calling our toddler this morning is what led to the meltdown...the call ended and our son was in shambles. He was sobbing, yelling, wanting to call daddy back. I felt like a monster telling him we still needed to go to school but told him I’d pick him up early today. Meanwhile my baby daughter was crawling around on the floor also crying. What a mess. 😢

For those that have partners that travel, if you have any tips for how to make these times go smoother, I’m all ears. Our 2.5 yo really struggles whenever my husband is away…I’ve tried giving him a picture of daddy to carry around, my husband will call and FaceTime with him frequently, we talk about what we’ll do with daddy when he’s back etc. but it’s still a struggle.

I have the most lovely coworker whose daughter I’ve met several times. I’d like to get something for her before she leaves for college. I was thinking of maybe a monogrammed blanket or towel set or toiletry bag, but would love other ideas! In terms of personal interests, she loves dance and performing arts and will be a hospitality major. Thanks so much!

Just curious what others are experiencing with this particular grandparenting relationship. How’s it going? How close do you live to your dad/FIL? Does his current partner have children/grandchildren or not? What is his partner like towards your kids?

My dad, who was a wonderful parent, got remarried later in life when I was in my early 20s, so his partner was never in a stepparent role to me. I’m really struggling to understand his seeming lack of interest in my kids, as he was an involved, caring, and loving parent. It’s been unexpected and hurtful. His wife also refused to be in photos with my kids when they came to visit, which was very odd and sent a pretty strong message.

Does it get better from here or should I pull the plug? They just left for Montana…I was hoping to love it after reading so many positive comments about it but am finding it harder and harder to keep going. It still feels like nothing has really happened after 230 pages

I also read the forward which had a huge spoiler in it…as soon as I read it I was like what the heck! Such a bummer. That’s been demotivating as well

I do like his writing style and find it easy to read, but the story itself has just felt slow

Happy to be a mama today, but not very happy about the double chin, lol. As soon as I saw the photos I was like omg…I didn’t realize how bad it was!

We’ve got 2 under 3, 2nd is 8 months old. I lost weight faster this time around and am back to my pre-pregnancy weight. But my double chin game is still going strong🤦🏻‍♀️

Just feeling sad. And thought you ladies would understand. So tired and so over all the physical/body changes that come with pregnancy.