starting the journey... a little too secretly?
Hi everyone, I'm on week 2 of this process and I wanted to say hi.
The thing is, I haven't told anybody in my life that I'm taking the weight loss meds. I can barely say the words to myself. It feels like some sort of failure. I have a lot of fat positive friends or body neutral milennial friends, and then I have some other friends who are not-so-secretly orthorexic who I suspect to be taking the meds, or would be jealous that I am. I think my family would be confused, and my regular GP would be skeptical. I got the ozempic through Chemist2U, My Weight Loss Clinic. (To me they were affordable, but we'll see if that keeps going on)
After I took the first injection I felt so much calmer. An emotional weight lifted.
I have always had a high BMI of about 30-32, starting from about grade 5, and into year 7 high school, losing a bit slightly at around 16 but still always being size 14-16. Being "bigger" has just followed me through my whole adult life, no matter if I was really into my running, yoga, cycling to work, doing big walks on weekends or whatever. I have PCOS/PMOS, and an otherwise moderately active lifestyle full of whole foods.. I'm guilty of overeating occasionally, because I am a human with access to all the food of the western world, but I have always felt like I have to be so hypervigilant around food, and with exercise, so much more than others I know. I've always felt it so hard to "accept" my body, when it doesn't seem to fit into the world. I think I've gradually gained a little more weight and my measurements were getting past a comfortable window, and I stopped fitting into some jeans I had painstakingly sewn myself (I love sewing my own clothes, wonder why).
I am really tired of feeling that way–like I don't fit in anywhere.
That's what brought me out of the point of "what if, one day" and to the point of actually making the appointment with the nurse practitioner. She was really lovely (happy to give you her name!) and although it's less hands on than other programs I know she'd be there for me if I need. She is also part of a diabetes management program and metabolic research clinic in NSW, where post-weight loss management is their area of expertise.. I have to say I'm really scared about that part, because I tend to be quite pragmatic (Maintenance Phase pod alumni here) and I hear the experts who say most people who lose weight gain most of it back. But for me, I think even if I can maintain about 5% of the weight loss, won't that be better than not trying at all?
Fwiw, I am going to see my GP tomorrow and hope I can be confident enough to share this with her. It's not that she's judgemental, it's my barriers. Would love some support from you all on how you've disclosed this, or not, to your healthcare professionals or others in your life.