u/-flgirl-

I’m so tired of “starting over” every few days. Trying to find out what my triggers are, so far it seems to be loneliness and restricting. I “restrict” throughout the week by being in a calorie deficit because I want to lose weight. Those days, I exercise a lot and feel good about myself and don’t binge. Then on the days I “rest” I end up binging. My family comes over every weekend so my mom makes and buys unhealthy foods, chips/cookies/ice cream, etc. Doesn’t help my binging but it’s not her fault. Other than that I eat healthy. I’m just so tired of hating myself when I binge. It’s an endless cycle, I binge when I feel lonely, but I feel lonely because I isolate myself from the world because I feel gross from binging. Doesn’t help that I have depression from finding out my ex took his own life a few months ago. I’m so alone in my mind. Hopefully starting Vyvanse soon, but it’s taking so long for me to get it. I’m scared it won’t help, it’s the only hope I have because therapy doesn’t seem to be doing anything. I don’t know how long I keep doing this

Mourning the loss of someone I used to love who took their own life while battling this ED is getting too hard. My friend doesn’t understand what I’m going through, understandably. I feel so suicidal when I binge. Therapy is not helping at all. I just want to be held and there is no one here for that. I need to be on medication because no amount of “talking it out” will work for me, just don’t know how to get it prescribed to me. Wish I can fall asleep and never wake up

I go for a 5 mile walk everyday (plus more throughout the day), get home, strength train/ lift weights, and do Pilates. Some days I go running too. I’m off work this summer so I have time to focus on other things and fitness is one of them. But I’m feeling guilty on rest days, like I should be doing something, at least getting my 10k steps in. I’m also always so hungry on rest days. What do your rest days look like, do you get your steps in too or just let your body recover? And do you feel hungrier on rest days or is that just me?

To those who have recovered from BED tell me how please?! I’m completely desperate and hopeless here. I had a great last week, worked out like crazy, stayed in my 1300 cal deficit. Decided to have a rest day yesterday because I was exhausted from the heat and working out… my mistake, I ended up binging big time probably around 5000 cals. No more rest days for me. I do this every week and can’t lose the weight because of this cycle. I’m going to therapy but I don’t think that will be enough. I’m tired of suffering from this, it’s ruining my life, relationships and I feel suicidal even more because of this. I think I need to be on some medication that will get rid of my appetite. Any suggestions on what medication to take? I don’t think I can do this without medication. I’m just so helpless