my stomach and both intestines feel physically inflamed and swollen and wrong i need any advice on how to heal them after purging so much everyday for a long time any advice to calm it down and make it not so swollen and painful
i cannot stop purging everytime i try to eat something normal ish or normal amount it triggers purging or b/p. is it okay if i just have high calorie nutrition drinks or baby food instead to give my stomach a break and not trigger binges or purging. this has been going on a long time. sometimes i go two or three days without every once in a while. i was on three days today but i broke my streak and i’m very upset and disappointed i just really need to stop purging my entire GI tract is completely failing on me it feels.
I am looking for any advice on how to not binge after eating a normal meal and how to just relax and stop obsessing over food. For months if I’m not walking around doing a lot of stuff travelling for most the day, I am watching videos about food, looking up recipes, looking up menus and making delivery orders I never buy, for hours. Or I bake or cook for hours and keep doing it for days. I cannot stop. every living second is thinking about food. I’m obsessed with pudding or any pudding type of texture or smooth sorbet or ice cream. I am obsessed. I cannot stop making food. I try eating more to make it go away and it needs to really bad purging, then trying to eat again, purging, trying to eat again, up to 4 times a day. it is exhausting. i cannot sleep because i think about puddings, i had 3 different dreams about them last night, woke up in a panic thinking I had already had my overnight pudding situation i made. i cannot think or do any activity i actively hear voices or like intrusions of just talking about food or recipes or what i’m going to make. i cannot do any art i cannot write i cannot watch a film i cannot focus on anything that is not good for any second in having the voices talking over me about making pudding right now. how the fuck do i make it stop? i’ve been increasing eating i’ve been avoiding cooking or baking i’ve tried to stop watching videos of food and people making food. i watch everything, cooking videos, food reviews, mukbangs, live streams where they’re making different types of foods in kitchens or street vendors. i stalk bakeries and resturaunts on menus, i watch recipes over and over again of the same exact thing. i am driven demented i understand that this happens but i’ve never ever had it to this extent i literally cannot function and think about anything else and if it’s not like this and i’m outside walking around i am walking for hours and hours straight and so busy doing so much stuff travelling around and going to events and i have nothing or i have some baby food and i feel horrendous and scared because of my legs spasming and heart palpitations.
possible TW for talking about restriction -
Hi there’s probably a lot of context needed idk but it’s too long. basically i have b/p ana subtype. I restrict, eventually I try increase intake, stomach can’t cope, mentally can’t cope, I purge or I put more in to be capable of doing so because my stomach won’t let it out (don’t want to go into detail incase someone uses the info idk) - this would then be me binging on whatever i have missed and haven’t allowed myself. I might stop at once or might do it three or four times during the day, it’s very distressing and physically exhausting, I have given myself gastroparesis, gastritis, tooth infection, salivary gland problems from this.
to break this exhausting cycle i fasted for a period of time, then would try to eat again, then fast again. this distress has made gastroparesis so much worse, led to extreme constipation.
i’ve abused laxatives a lot prior to all this too i may have given myself lazy bowel.
i cannot move waste through my system anymore i cannot and i don’t think my muscles even push anymore. i keep having very severe comstipation (i consider them partial fecal impactions because i’ve had that before and this feels the same)
it is difficult to pass gas, i can only pee dribbles because it’s squeezing my bladder and urethra, i have intense bloating pain, drink and eating is painful in my stomach.
i keep eating, i’m so scared of it it feels like i’m going to explode. i’ve really significantly increased my intake especially carbs it’s mostly carbs right now.
i don’t know what’s going to happen to it all if it won’t come out but a doctor told me i have to eat a lot to shit but that doesn’t feel true because there’s so much stuck in me already.
my face is swelling it’s very distressing, my stomach is so swollen i feel so so so not good. has anyone else dealt with this before? did eating help? i have prescribed laxatives, stool softeners and enemas rhat i take daily. my GI tract is still having a lot of trouble moving this food through. maybe i went too far and ate too much and i need to slowly build it up? idk what to do any advice is appreciated. i’ve gone three days without purging i just binged i think i ate two bowls of food i did not really need i just mentally couldn’t stop until i had them, it’s food i would always purge. i refuse to right now i need to shit and heal my stomach for a while i’m very scared. any advice is appreciated especially on if i should be eating or not and how to get rid of facial edema thank you
I really have to stop purging or i’m going to die maybe that sounds dramatic or maybe i’m finally being real. i’m diagnosed with AN, i started purging 3 years into being heavily in my disease because my friend with AN did it and i can’t remember if she encouraged we do it together or what but it was one of those weird toxic ED friendships and eventually i recovered for a year but soon relapsed and then would feel so weak and scared id try to increase my intake and immediately freak out and purge. this eventually turned into not being able to purge because not enough inside stomach so i’d have to consume more stuff so there would be enough to expel sounds weird don’t want to explain just how i had to do it hope this isn’t bad to say. anyway that turned into “hey wait i really miss X i haven’t had X in so long i could have that now finally if i can get rid of it after” then that turned into full on bulimia whenever i’d try to eat normally instead of restriction, then heavily restrict + b/p cycle for 4 years straight. somewhere in that time toward the end of the 4 years i genuinely tried to eat normally, maybe it was about half a year? i ate regularly like 3-6 times a day but i was still obsessed with food and more hungry than i ever was before it was so fucking distressing. i gained up to minimum healthy weight for my height. i felt horrible and relapsed and that’s where i am now this past year has been a relapse. i have stopped b/p and muxh as possible i even got two tattoos i told myself would be the “this is it” reminders (idc if it’s dumb or cringe) but i just haven’t been able to stop. it is terrifying. i have really bad gastritis that i’ve had for 3 years, gastroparesis and i’ve had to partial fecal impactions rhat we’re traumatizing and terrifying i am not joking they were absolutely horrific. the last one the feces in my rectum was squeezing so hard against my bladder it blocked my urtherta and i could only pee dribbles even though i was bursting to pee after drinking lots of tea and water. i couldn’t fart so i was in excruciating pain with so much gas and i couldn’t take a full breath in because my stomach was so distended. this happened because i fasted for a long period of time and then tried to eat again and did that over and over again a few times. during this time i was not purging i was not thinking about food as much i spent all those days very active and busy and i felt mentally so clear and so relieved like nothing i’ve ever felt in my life. but i assume my electrolytes got fucked though i got blood tests and they showed up fine. a lot of scary things happening just feeling really unwell wont go into detail. anyway now i have been on three different prescribed laxatives because my GI tract is so slow and it just will not shit. i have needed to pass a lot of gas the past two days and it won’t go out it just shoots back up i am so scared i need to shit and it won’t happen and i’m scared. anyway i think the point of this was to say i’m on day 3 no purging. i’m feeling very distressed i’ve eaten almost maintenance or above on most days this week. each day my brain tells me to fast. today i had my regular restriction “max” calories in one sitting forbreakfast to make the food noise stop. it didn’t. i think i dissociated and binged. was making my partner a breakfast smoothie, next thing i know i’ve made myself two bowls of weetabix and in each of them i’ve put unmeasured spoons of nutella which i am terrified of. no idea how many grams haven’t calculated anything, feel so out of control, this is the point i’d usually start eating random things i’ve longed for for so long and then purge and then maybe do that three or four more times throughout the day because i want to eat as much as possible while this day is “ruined”. i cannot purge anymore my stomach is sin so much pain it’s scaring me, the more i purge the more i can’t shit and that’s terrifying. the downside now is it’s not only the ED thoughts but my stomach actually physically cannot handle this much food right now and i don’t know what this is going to do to my bowels it could be another partial fecal impaction. i am so scared i don’t know what to do. i’m doing my best i do not want to purge i have to break the cycle or i’ll never stop. i am so afraid. i still have a lot of shit that never left i’m sorry for TMI i’m so used to this now i’ve been telling my partner and mom in detail about my shit and organs for this past week because this are just very scary right now i’m in a lot of distress my stomach genuienly feels like it’s failing. DAY 3 no purging please please please please please let me make it another day
I really have to stop purging or i’m going to die maybe that sounds dramatic or maybe i’m finally being real. i’m diagnosed with AN, i started purging 3 years into being heavily in my disease because my friend with AN did it and i can’t remember if she encouraged we do it together or what but it was one of those weird toxic ED friendships and eventually i recovered for a year but soon relapsed and then would feel so weak and scared id try to increase my intake and immediately freak out and purge. this eventually turned into not being able to purge because not enough inside stomach so i’d have to consume more stuff so there would be enough to expel sounds weird don’t want to explain just how i had to do it hope this isn’t bad to say. anyway that turned into “hey wait i really miss X i haven’t had X in so long i could have that now finally if i can get rid of it after” then that turned into full on bulimia whenever i’d try to eat normally instead of restriction, then heavily restrict + b/p cycle for 4 years straight. somewhere in that time toward the end of the 4 years i genuinely tried to eat normally, maybe it was about half a year? i ate regularly like 3-6 times a day but i was still obsessed with food and more hungry than i ever was before it was so fucking distressing. i gained up to minimum healthy weight for my height. i felt horrible and relapsed and that’s where i am now this past year has been a relapse. i have stopped b/p and muxh as possible i even got two tattoos i told myself would be the “this is it” reminders (idc if it’s dumb or cringe) but i just haven’t been able to stop. it is terrifying. i have really bad gastritis that i’ve had for 3 years, gastroparesis and i’ve had to partial fecal impactions rhat we’re traumatizing and terrifying i am not joking they were absolutely horrific. the last one the feces in my rectum was squeezing so hard against my bladder it blocked my urtherta and i could only pee dribbles even though i was bursting to pee after drinking lots of tea and water. i couldn’t fart so i was in excruciating pain with so much gas and i couldn’t take a full breath in because my stomach was so distended. this happened because i fasted for a long period of time and then tried to eat again and did that over and over again a few times. during this time i was not purging i was not thinking about food as much i spent all those days very active and busy and i felt mentally so clear and so relieved like nothing i’ve ever felt in my life. but i assume my electrolytes got fucked though i got blood tests and they showed up fine. a lot of scary things happening just feeling really unwell wont go into detail. anyway now i have been on three different prescribed laxatives because my GI tract is so slow and it just will not shit. i have needed to pass a lot of gas the past two days and it won’t go out it just shoots back up i am so scared i need to shit and it won’t happen and i’m scared. anyway i think the point of this was to say i’m on day 3 no purging. i’m feeling very distressed i’ve eaten almost maintenance or above on most days this week. each day my brain tells me to fast. today i had my regular restriction “max” calories in one sitting forbreakfast to make the food noise stop. it didn’t. i think i dissociated and binged. was making my partner a breakfast smoothie, next thing i know i’ve made myself two bowls of weetabix and in each of them i’ve put unmeasured spoons of nutella which i am terrified of. no idea how many grams haven’t calculated anything, feel so out of control, this is the point i’d usually start eating random things i’ve longed for for so long and then purge and then maybe do that three or four more times throughout the day because i want to eat as much as possible while this day is “ruined”. i cannot purge anymore my stomach is sin so much pain it’s scaring me, the more i purge the more i can’t shit and that’s terrifying. the downside now is it’s not only the ED thoughts but my stomach actually physically cannot handle this much food right now and i don’t know what this is going to do to my bowels it could be another partial fecal impaction. i am so scared i don’t know what to do. i’m doing my best i do not want to purge i have to break the cycle or i’ll never stop. i am so afraid. i still have a lot of shit that never left i’m sorry for TMI i’m so used to this now i’ve been telling my partner and mom in detail about my shit and organs for this past week because this are just very scary right now i’m in a lot of distress my stomach genuienly feels like it’s failing. DAY 3 no purging please please please please please let me make it another day.
i’m feeling really upset i’m having a lot of complications with my whole gi tract and it’s fucking up my other organs. i was meant to do things i planned today and i can’t because my shit is stuck inside of me and literally messing up everything. i wonder if anyone else has ever experienced this and did anyone overcome it? i think i keep having fecal impactions and i cleared the last one eventually i had to not eat for a few days and just have liquid very carefully and slowly because it’s preventing me from peeing. i could drink a few cups of liquid and feel really full bladder and need to pee and not be able to or only a teaspoon amount comes out even though i feel bursting. randomly i get painful contractions in my bladder like i’m gonna piss myself and if i sit down and try, nothinh will come out. i have gas banging up and down my intenstines sometimes i burp but it’s very difficult and it’s hard for it to go out my anus and then if i accidentally drink a lot of fluid in one go i can’t take a full breathe or cough or laugh because my intestines or stomach are too expanded with gas or air or liquid to allow my louche to expand fully. it feels like a lot of pressure and very uncomfortable. small bits of fecal matter go around the impaction but it doesn’t feel clear ever. the last one was excruciating and then eventually got less bad the next three times my bowels opened. now it’s bad again and i can’t eat and i really want to. there’s so many weird noises and pressure everywhere, my body used to be fine when i was younger but now everything’s fucked it’s been too long. it’s so scary not being able to shit and piss and having to be randomly careful with eating and drinking and not being able to go out and do things you planned or wanted to do because you could be dying from not shitting and vomiting if you try drink or shitting yourself like who knows shits fucked. if anyone’s ever had everything all fucked and bad gastritis, gastro perisis and severe consptipation and bladder being squished by the shits that’s stuck in the colleen pressing against it not allowing the piss to come out and also loss of period and contractions in the uterus but no period sometimes spotting weird ass clumps of stuff but still no period but cured it please let me know thanks