u/AdMajestic2438

Like thank you brain for flooding me with overwhelming emotions despite not feeling romantic attraction. And towards a stranger who doesn't even know I exist too, like c'mon man!

I don't even wanna date them, I just want them to acknowledge me and play chess together (I haven't played a game of chess in years. lmao, the irony). But those thoughts make me feel like a parasocial loser, even though people literally thirst and act weirder about famous people all the time.

Basically, my brain thinks a 7'4 French man is the ideal friend and I "hate" it 🥲

Anyone else have a platonic crush they can't wrap their head around?

I feel being openly queer online is different than being out in real life for many people and I was wondering how being straight factors in to it.

For me, I'm not really sure if I will. I'd feel "dumb" trying to explain it, especially since my identity doesn't fit the mold of what most people think when they hear the word queer or LGBT. Most people wouldn't get it or just hand wave it by saying "so, you're a straight woman"?

Yes but no.

If I ever did come out, I'd probably gloss over the straight part and just focus on being aroace and genderqueer. I'd feel less like a walking contradicting.

So, does anyone else feel conflicted about being out yet? And for those who have come out, what's that been like?

Ugh, I hope I'll get used to the switching but it's hard!

I was fully convinced for the past few days that I was just agender or a non binary man and being genderfluid was me coping so I could avoid being not cis (even though I'm already not cis). Now, I'm feeling like a woman and wondering if being nonbinary at all was me pretending. I love not knowing who I am :)

But seriously, for those who accepted they were genderfluid for a while now (over a year) does it get easier or will the "I'm faking" feeling always linger no matter which way I feel?

Before, I considered myself agender and genderfluid (basically my default is genderless but I switch between other genders) and I should have stopped there, but I started second guessing myself and now I'm trying out new labels.

Now, I won't introduce myself as these terms, I'd just say genderfluid or genderqueer. These are just labels for myself I use privately to make sense of how I feel.

I copied the definitions from their wiki pages:

- Nomafemic is a term for those who feel that their gender expression is very similar to being a Feminine Boy or Man, also known as Rosboy, despite their gender not being Male-Aligned.

- Turigirl is an identity for someone who in some way identifies as a girl/woman/gal that is gay for men.

- edit: found a better term I like. Lavandulagirl is a gender that is primarily feminine, but still has masculine qualities to it without sacrificing gender femininity.

I will be honest... I'm using these labels as a placeholder. I think I'm something else, something that might not even be genderfluid like I thought, and I don't feel comfortable labeling myself as it yet. I want to use these labels as a safe way to indirectly explore those feelings without fully committing.

Is that an okay thing to do? (And yes, I've experienced signs of gender incongruence my entire life, just not severe, so I'm not gender non confirming. And I find revealing my ASAB annoying, but if it helps in this context, I'm AFAB :/).

After learning about mutogender, my labels have changed a bit.

I'm no longer agenderflux or girlflux, but instead Cancegender. This is defined as "a fluid gender identity that is mainly agender but can experience fluctuating or fluid feelings of gender correlating with one's emotions."

I also consider myself Agenderfluid (a fluid gender identity where one’s “base” gender is agender), but it's not a mutogender, so I'll focus on cancegender.

When I was a teenager, I thought I had a dissociative disorder not knowing it was just my gender identity. These terms were coined in 2015 and 2018, so I could've discovered both and saved myself some angst, but alas I didn't know.

My feminine genders (both as a woman and a man) I usually associate with happiness and joy. I've also noticed I tend to feel more like a masculine man when feeling deeply sad. Realizing I was cancegender also made it easier to accept my male genders, since I basically only acknowledged my agender and female side before this.

Anyways, I feel both relieved and hurt over the years I lost. Has anyone else assumed they had a disorder (any kind) before realizing they were gender fluid?

I fully believed I didn't have any gender dysphoria. I read that euphoria was enough to be trans or nonbinary and I didn't question it.

I always felt apathetic towards my birth sex. I was a person first, didn't care about gender norms, yada yada, a story you've probably heard or lived before. I never hated my body, so no big gender issues.

Well, after realizing I was nonbinary, I still held on to the same belief. Just because I feel comfortable with another label or presentation doesn't mean I feel discomfort with my current one. Except I do.

I read stories about the experiences of gender non conforming people and although I relate to and respect their journeys, the idea of being another flavor of a man or a woman doesn't resonate with me as much as not being a part of it at all.

Is this mild "mind numbing" discomfort I feel not just a sour mood or my default emotional state but a sign of gender dysphoria? Probably so.

I think my dysphoria is mostly social. Maybe there is some physical dysphoria underneath it, but either way I'm clearly not as cis as I expected. Has anyone else experienced something similar?

Been questioning myself a lot lately and trying labels like hats but I think I'm getting closer.

In the past, I've pretty sure I've experienced gender dysphoria. It was mostly social, but on bad days it would be physical too. I also experienced euphoria and gender envy. I watched a lot of videos and read multiple articles on being trans masc, but I wasn't fully detached from being AFAB.

I spent most of that time feeling like a mix of genders, sometimes more female or feminine, other times neutral or gender less, and occasionally male or masc leaning. And then one day...it all disappeared? So I just assumed I was a dumb teen going through a phase and it stemmed from poor mental health or sexism, so I spent the next few years as a cis woman.

Then I started questioning myself again. I realized I didn't feel a gender identity, but for some reason I was really against calling myself agender or gender apathetic because I didn't want to box myself in. Yet, I felt detached from the label woman, found masculine clothes affirming, and also wouldn't mind the effects of HRT (not surgery though. I was iffy on that).

I thought maybe I was cis by default or cis genderless. Or perhaps trigender (female, neutral, male), and my indifference towards gender fluctuated (also known as cassflux).

Eventually, I kinda caved in and recently started viewing myself as gender apathetic and agender, but also librafluid. I was thinking "finally, it's over!"

Then, I suddenly felt like a woman. Not female by default but a genuine super feminine woman and it threw everything off. Then the feeling kinda calmed down and I'm not sure what I feel right now. I think I'm still in woman mode but less intense and more open to androgynous and masculine presentation.

So, do most multi gender people feel like this? Because I'm starting to think I'm either gender fluid or gender flux.

Been questioning myself a lot lately and trying labels like hats but I think I'm getting closer.

In the past, I've pretty sure I've experienced gender dysphoria. It was mostly social, but on bad days it would be physical too. I also experienced euphoria and gender envy. I watched a lot of videos and read multiple articles on being trans masc, but I wasn't fully detached from being AFAB.

I spent most of that time feeling like a mix of genders, sometimes more female or feminine, other times neutral or gender less, and occasionally male or masc leaning. And then one day...it all disappeared? So I just assumed I was a dumb teen going through a phase and it stemmed from poor mental health or sexism, so I spent the next few years as a cis woman.

Then I started questioning myself again. I realized I didn't feel a gender identity, but for some reason I was really against calling myself agender or gender apathetic because I didn't want to box myself in. Yet, I felt detached from the label woman, found masculine clothes affirming, and also wouldn't mind the effects of HRT (not surgery though. I was iffy on that).

I thought maybe I was cis by default or cis genderless. Or perhaps trigender (female, neutral, male), and my indifference towards gender fluctuated (also known as cassflux).

Eventually, I kinda caved in and recently started viewing myself as gender apathetic and agender, but also librafluid. I was thinking "finally, it's over!"

Then, I suddenly felt like a woman. Not female by default but a genuine super feminine woman and it threw everything off. Then the feeling kinda calmed down and I'm not sure what I feel right now. I think I'm still in woman mode but less intense and more open to androgynous and masculine presentation.

So, do most multi gender people feel like this? Because I'm starting to think I'm either gender fluid or gender flux.

I don't know if this is the proper subreddit for this question but I'll ask anyways.

As a teen, I questioned my gender and sexuality a lot, relying on quizzes and MOGAI labels like a lifeline. By the end of it, I somehow managed to come out the other end as a cis het female.

Except that wasn't fully true. It was right to question my sexuality because it turns out I am aromantic and asexual. Now I'm wondering if the same is true for my gender.

I don't feel any physical dysphoria and not really social dysphoria either, I just hate gender roles. They feel restrictive and arbitrary. I've felt gender euphoria at least once when dressing in a more androgynous/masculine outfit for a formal event.

I mostly view myself as just me or a human. Am I female? Sure, I won't say I'm not. Majority of the time, gender isn't even a thought on my mind. So, I'm likely cis, but I feel almost disappointed by that.

I wish I experienced a profound epiphany like with my orientation. There was some denial, a bit of self hatred, and trying different labels but eventually I accepted being aroace and it felt like breathing for the first time. I feel a sense of joy from being aroace, not so much from being a woman.

I guess I expected more. I hear stories of euphoria from trans people and general talks about gender identity having a feeling but to me it's just...meh. And I really wanted the "meh" to mean something.

Is this a normal feeling for questioning cis people or am I just odd?

(Mildy 18+ topics. Nothing too explicit, but it covers some themes)

Throwaway account because I'm not really out and I don't want to risk anything.

First off, happy pride! Hope everyone is doing good. Likely better than me, lol.

I just recently discovered I'm aromantic and asexual. I've questioned myself before but never thought much about it because I seemed straight. I found people attractive, I had "crushes", and they were towards men, real or fictional so I can't be aroace!

Turns out those were mostly aesthetic feelings. And I guess some sensual and platonic ones too, but mostly aesthetic.

I never actually felt that type of attraction towards anyone. Sadly, I have something I am deeply ashamed of. I have a fetish. It's existed since I was a child and it's also one of the reasons why I couldn't accept my sexuality. It's also the current cause of my confusion and self hatred.

I know the label aegosexual, but that wasn't enough to me. I needed clear proof I was either asexual or allosexual, so I tried to either force sexual attraction or remove the fetish. Neither really worked.

In fact >!when I tried to fantasize in normal sexual scenarios in first person, it caused real physical and mental discomfort that left me shaken for the rest of the day and averse to any sexual content. My attempt at removing the fetish by misusing a therapy method, EMDR, left me temporarily emotionally numb and dissociated.!<

I'm basically harming myself psychologically to be normal, whether a normal asexual or allosexual.

I just need some words of advice and reassurance that I'm normal and not a freak, because right now, it isn't easy.