u/AdTerrible8256

I got married. We talked about these things beforehand but I think we were blinded by love because we married fast. I didn’t mind homeschooling or being a trad wife eventually, until time passed. I’ve always had a more conservative mindset (as in values, not political.)

I see my sister-in-law as a reflection of the future me if I were a tradwife. She has 4 kids (all very cute) but they don’t have money to go to the fair or the zoo if we invite them. She homeschools and she’s a great mom. She had to quit her job because of childcare costs. She’s losing hair and looks miserable most of the time. Her husband ignores her when she’s gone. And she feeds her kids nuggets and ramen noodles. Nothing else. I love her to death, but it scares me to think I’d end up like that. Oh we also live in the countryside, and I hate the countryside. I want so much more for my children and sadly, it all costs money.

As a consequence, my husband thinks like her husband. “We will figure it out” on a $60k salary (his salary) if we have children and I quit my job. I don’t want to homeschool anymore and I’d never quit working. I work from home and I have a masters. There’s been a couple times where we get into fights and he says “my house” and he’s kicked me out once too. Imagine if I didn’t have my own money… He says he’ll never move from the countryside no matter how many times I’ve told him we should find a common ground, but my opinion on where we should live for the rest of our lives doesn’t seem to matter. I cook and clean, 90% of these responsibilities fall on me while having a full time job.

All of this to say, I never thought my mindset could change so fast in a matter of one year. But I suppose that’s life, and changing opinions is part of growing.

Now I get why so many grown women tell us that we should have a backup plan. Sometimes husbands can be cruel when they don’t want to try anymore… and I’m not willing to risk it

Has someone gone through a similar situation or change of perspectives?

Why didn’t Hank ask Walter for hush money once he discovered he was Heisenberg and just flee NM and the DEA? Either way, his career was destroyed to the point of no return. And dirty money or not, Walter’s money helped him cover his therapy costs. I think this was the most sound alternative, considering that they were very close family members and that Walter stopped cooking by the time Hank found out.

I’m sure it has to do something with Hank’s ego, but I’d like to hear y’all’s perspectives.

When we talk about grounds for divorce, is faith abandonment a spectrum? Is it a husband or wife who entered the marriage affirming they’re Christians but over time they don’t make efforts to go to church, read the Bible, fast or pray? Or is faith abandonment a spouse specifically telling you they don’t believe in God anymore?

We all know that just like a relationship, faith is a daily effort. So my other question is how much can a Christian marriage withstand if only one of the two is actively seeking God and the other one doesn’t?

I went to the OB/GYN yesterday for my annual and he came back and told me I had a faintly positive pregnancy urine test. I felt like my soul left my body. I cried and cried until I got to my mom’s and cried more in her arms.

I am married. We have had so many problems and we haven’t been married for a year. A week ago he suggested separation. I’ve suggested separation too in the past. To summarize, my husband doesn’t pay enough attention. Video games come first, sleeping comes first, TV comes first. If I want something from him I have to vocalize it (clean, cook, errands). He lives in the countryside and he knows I hate it and that I lost so much of my identity living here and it’s making me depressed but he just says I’ll adapt one day. I am resenting him so much. His laziness and video game obsession has had me shaking in bed from rage and this cannot be good for my body.

We want different things from life. I want to work hard to give my family the best, I want to travel, volunteer, serve at church, serve at the animal shelter. He would be ok working the bare minimum to just cover bills and play video games the rest of the time. Most days he comes home from work and plays until I have to go to bed and even then I go to bed alone. His brother is the same way and my SIL doesn’t look happy at all. And I’m afraid that’d be my future if I stay. I know that having his baby would imply for me being the default parent 90% of time while working FT.

Today my blood test came back. It doesn’t look like I’m pregnant. But my doctor wants to repeat the test in two weeks. I cried 20+ times between yesterday and today and couldn’t believe I’d be baby trapped in this excuse of a marriage.

I think this scare has really put things in perspective for me. I’m the one pushing for counseling, for marriage groups, for prayer, for change. He just goes with the flow. But he’s made it clear that country living, video games and his “leadership” come first than me. Now I’m no victim, maybe I’ve been too intense. But my intensity roots from wanting to save my marriage and have a better future for us. He cannot even give up video games for the sake of our marriage.

I cannot divorce yet for legal reasons. But, has someone had a similar experience and came back from it? I don’t want to give up my marriage but the thought of being pregnant from him is nightmare fuel for more. I guess I’m looking for advice or reassurance. Sorry for the long post.

tldr; I got a positive obgyn pregnancy test and felt like my world was ending. Blood test came back negative. I don’t want to be pregnant from my inattentive low effort husband. I want babies in the future. Is this feeling of sorrow my last indicator that I should leave? Any advice to reconcile?

I need help please. Don’t judge me for what I am about to say. We both come from religious backgrounds and marrying in 7 months is normal within our circle. I wish we knew better, either way, we cannot go back in time. We’ve tried therapy, marriage counseling, marriage groups, talking to the pastor, labor distribution, video game time limits, etc.

Has someone effectively navigated profoundly different views of life?

Our biggest problem is the fact that he loves the country (middle of nowhere) and I am a city girl. I love going to the gym, drinking boba, friends, my mom, going for brunch, walking, running, and all of this is at least 40-50 mins away from me. I feel like I am a corpse of what I used to be and enjoy. I don’t envision having children since I’m profoundly sad where I live right now and my husband does not seem to care. He told me he planned to live here for the rest of his life and I don’t know what to do. I feel sad that he’s so extreme with his views despite his wife being on the verge of depression. Am I wrong for expecting us to reach a middle ground?

Then there’s the video games. He’s perfectly fine with spending 15-20 hours a week on video games. His life consists of coming home from work, sitting his butt on the computer and playing Fortnite until it’s time to shower and go to bed. He screams at the computer, and yesterday he got so upset that he cried because he lost and yelled the F word and the N word. More than mad, I’m turned off and disappointed that he believes all of this is ok while I get home and try to clean, read my Bible, do self care, workout, and when he remembers he comes to me to have sex or if we go out it’s because I told him to.

He doesn’t like going on walks with me, going on trips with me, going shopping, going to the gym. We’ve gone on the negatives and I’ve told him we can both get a second job to save up some money and he refuses. He only likes video games and going on the boat. That’s it. We have tried lowering the hours he spent on the video games (he played way more), distributing home tasks more efficiently, and it works for some time until I have to remind him that it’s been two weeks or a month since he forgot to do his chores.

Oh and we also have different political views (yay). I’m apolitical but care about human rights, animals and nature and he defends the indefensible (the orange man).

I love him but I’m reaching my breaking point and I don’t want to be divorced. I don’t think he is evil, it’s just that he’s neglecting our relationship severely. Has someone been through something similar? Am I in the wrong, what else can I do?

tl;dr: My husband is ok with us living somewhere I feel miserable. He’s ok wasting his life on video games and has no goals in life. I feel like I’m fading away with him. Please advise.

I’ve been on and off on a search for a remote position for almost 3 years. I took it very seriously at the beginning of this year and landed a job in May. It took me around 600 applications, 30 interviews to land an offer. this cycle was exhausting and I was about to give up.

I want to thank The Hiring Cafe for working on a product that truly works, especially in the mess of job market we’re living in rn. It’s so easy to use, and only provides relevant job postings. As a recruiter, I’m seeing HC more and more as a referral website in applications.

I love my job and if God allows I plan to stay here in the long term. I have much more work life balance and I love the company and team.

Thank you HC, for changing lives. Also, is there a link to donate?

I come here to share a story that developed very closely in my life. I had a friend named Gina (pseudonym) whom I loved very much. Although we’re not friends anymore, we would hang out everyday, see each other at work, we lived about 5 mins of each other. We went on trips, and went through breakups together. This friendship breakup has affected me way more than my romantic ones.

Anyways, Gina NEVER practiced safe sex and had different partners. She would even joke about her being sterile since she had been doing it for so long and never gotten pregnant. Gina was openly pro choice. One day Gina comes to me to tell me she’s pregnant from her current romantic partner (I don’t even think they were official yet) and I’m flabbergasted. She proceeds to tell me she is considering abortion. I try to tell her that she can absolutely try to have this baby. I was aware that the dad and the dad’s mother had been trying to reach out to her BEGGING her not to abort. She would block them and they would email her or try to convince her to not abort this baby.

Gina proceeded to take a pill. For context, she’s a very strong person emotionally. I rarely saw her cry and she had plenty of problems in her life that didn’t get to her. The next day she comes with the saddest, most depressed expression I’ve ever seen her in. She explains to me that she saw the baby in the toilet and had to flush them out.

She had to get therapy afterwards since she was traumatized from the whole process. Gina was never the same. She told me that her plan was to find a new decent guy that could impregnate her since she had this uncontrollable urge to be pregnant again and be a mother.

And that’s what she did. She met this guy and probably around 4 months later she was pregnant. She was posting this everywhere, looked happy and renewed. The guy is not a good guy but they’ve made it work over the years. Her baby boy is gorgeous, healthy and I can tell she loves being a mom. We’re not friends anymore, but I will never forget this story.

Marriage based AOS. I received an interview notice today at 8 AM. I joined the 2 round of McBean but it has not been introduced yet.

The only hope I have at this point is divine intervention. I resent this administration deeply for erasing the channels they created. Praying for the best outcome for all of us. ❤️‍🩹

My husband is polite, handsome, loyal, righteous, non controlling. His family loves me and I love them.

The issues we’ve encountered during our short marriage (8 months) have been intense. We have tried therapy, Christian counseling, conversations, distribution of labor. All suggested and followed up by me, he goes with the flow and not opposed. I assume he just doesn’t think it’s that serious.

Issues include mostly, incompatibility. He is a country boy, could stay days inside just playing video games, no healthy habits (exercise or food), no social needs, not interested in traveling or exploring new things. I’m the opposite, city girl, hungry to travel, to workout, high social needs. I often feel like a flower that’s wilting, like a carcass of who I was. Now this is not what hurts me. It’s the fact that he is unwilling to move from the countryside ever, which represents at least a 40 minute drive to wherever I want to go. I’m miles away from any entertainment, shopping, friends or family. Country living is so depressing when you don’t like the countryside. It’s so stupid. When I go out with my friends or take trips with my mom, I have loads of fun and when I go back home to him I feel empty.

A video game obsession has also crippled. But I am unsure if it’s the video games that bother me or the fact that he doesn’t pay attention to me. The fact that he’s okay with me just coexisting next to me. He plays about 25 hours a week (that we agreed on, it was like 40 hrs a week before) and has already started to lie to me about this agreement so he plays more than that. When it’s not the video games it’s YouTube videos about the video game. We also had an episode where he either was about to commit suicide or made it seem like such to control me after I wanted to leave the house after a bad argument.

“Can we go on dates? Can you please plan something for us? Can you please remember to do the chores that take you 5 minutes to do while I do loads of laundry and clean the bathrooms? Can you remember to read your Bible? Can you please text the pastor so we can do counseling? (5th time). Can you please not take your whole gaming equipment to our family vacation? Why do you like tired and annoyed during my birthday dinner that I had to plan? It’s not my fault you want to live 1 hour away from restaurants. Can you cut your hair? Can you please cut your toe nails? Can you stop playing video games for hours straight? Can you stop screaming when you play video games while I try to study? Can you pay attention to me? Can you ask me about my day? I know you’re tired too, but goddamn HELP ME!!!!”

I am actually terrified of having babies now. I can already envision myself screaming at him because he needs to finish a match before he comes help me with the baby since everything has to be prompted for him to reach. I’ve always wanted to be a mom but I cannot do this under these conditions. I know he wants babies, so I’d be also stopping him from his life goals.

I have came to the conclusion that I cannot live like this for the rest of my life. Am I being too demanding? We all have to compromise something in our marriage right? I want to fight for my marriage. But if I’ve exhausted all my cards, without him presenting any, then what’s the next step?