u/AnimeEagleScout

Naruto had arrived at the 3 star mountain Monastery with a note from Hiruzen signed by Monkey King: Enma about going to 'Find where a greater sage had trained'.

Naruto first response to the Puti Zushi smacking him for lies was to straight up Rasengan the immortal and then Kyuubi 3 tailed beat down.

The old monk laughs as his body is repairing itself and tells Naruto to get changed into robes as he has a uniform for the Monks who train under him.

Naruto is taught another energy type: QI and internal Alchemy and other stuff that confuses him at first but eventually he gets it and when told to pick his Cultivaton Method Kurama Suggests one and Puti Zushi immediately smacks Naruto 3 times warning such Methods anger the gods.

Kurama tells Naruto to go at night and learns the same method wukong did however Naruto doesn't pick the 72 earthly forms as to quote him "Why would i need that when I already have henge?" And goes for the 36 heavenly forms which is less turning into animals more Manipulating Creation: Making something from nothing or bending natural laws and Reversing Yin and Yang: Changing day to night or altering cosmic order.

First thing Naruto makes is True Instant Ramen. *snap fingers* cup appears ready and delicious.

"How'd you know that?!" Todoroki shouted.

"You have ice power right? It's obvious your relationship with one or more parents are gonna be strained or fucked up. I was expecting molestation honestly!" Izuku says making even Midnight go slack jawed at the claim.

Izuku breaks down people by stereotyping their powers and it works. His guesses just kinda overshoot the bucket.

Like he guessed Iida grew up too fast due to his family's quirk. Momo has to actually study economics because her quirk makes the value of object difficult to quantify. Mina leans into bright clothing to protect people from her acid.

I want a storyline of Peter, post Spider Powers getting drafted into a war and then spending 7-10 years in the army.

Just imagine New York, Spider-Man was stopping crime for a year then suddenly JJJ gets a letter telling him "I'm shipping out...duses." and that's the last they hear of Spider-Man for 7 years.

Peter is basically a Captain America without the serum. He's the perfect soldier, protected so many lives and even got himself blown up protecting his team.

Then when he gets back home he immediately gets a new suit, \[i can see the Secret Wars: Civil War Suit being the choice\] rejoin the home front and immediately Things are different.

His fighting style is more refined. Probably getting his mutation during service so shield immediately knows "Oh thats Peter Parker." And offers him a job.

Or Frank trying to convince him to kill like he does and Peter hitting him with "I have killed more men in the last 7 years because my own government told me to...shut the fuck up." The discussion turns into a medal measuring "I have Purple Heart." Frank says Peter chuckles "I have 3." \[With how much Peter gets blown up in the movies imagine active combat fighting specifically to protect his battle buddies?\]

Naruto was in his seal when the world vanished.

Straight up vanished.

All villages were now in bubbles and living 100 times slower then the outside. The only way to get out of the bubble is for every single person in the civilization to agree to shut it off.

Naruto was one of the only people who were stuck outside the bubbles.

Fortunately, he has the sun Seal from the Sage of Six so he has a comprehensive knowledge on living by himself in the savage lands.

And another Unfortunate events...Kurama's Children are attacking him!

Giant half Bijuu half regular foxes hybrids from back before the sage died and Kurama was just a fox gifted chakra by the sage his children are now the apex predators of the planet.

Naruto nearly dies fighting one and its blood awakens his new Spark. Immortality.

"No! Not that! Anything but that!" Naruto screams clawing at one of the bubbles around a village "let me in...LET ME IN!"

Jiraiya is surprised and asked what he means.

"It's a fucking Tailed beast bomb! The thing that leveled the village?!" Naruto shouted "Why are you so obsessed with me used Fuzzy wuzzy!? I hate that fucking thing it ruined my life why would i want to use it at all?! Or Why the fuck would I want to use it's signature attacks?!"

"The Rasengan was invented by Minato, you know the 4th."

"The same fuck ass Twink who stored a tailed beast in me! I want the Flying Thunder God not Rasenbullshit!" Naruto shouted.

"I can't teach you that!" Jiraiya shouted.

"Why the fuck not?!" Naruto shouted red chakra coating his body "Why can't i have the freedom jutsu?! Why can't i have the the one jutsu that would solve 99% of problems?!"

The two get to Tsunade but Naruto hasn't been practicing the Rasengan.

"I want Flying Thunder God!" Naruto whines.

"I can't teach you that."

"I can." Tsunade said causing Naruto to turn "My uncle invented it and i know the basics of it. Never got how the 4t uses it but its a tag on a kunai."

"Thanks boobie lady!"

"Hold one we need to make a deal." Tsunade said "You pay my gambling Debts and I'll teach you the technique."

Naruto walks into a casino and clears out the whole place "Here." Naruto says handing her the money.

Naruto instead of Shadow Clones Learns Edo Tensei planning on bringing back Iruka's parents.

Unfortunately Naruto's Chakra pulls from the 9-tails and that Chakra brought back Kurama's Dad: Hogoromo.

Now the sage of six can't go back to the afterlife unless Naruto let's him off the leash and Naruto is demanding Learning Jutsu's from him.

Tsunade is told Naruto had to use the Sexy jutsu to get Jiraiya to train him for the chunin exam, made him waste his money on ramen and them threw him off a cliff.

"So no I'm not Taking 3 years alone with...THAT!" Naruto says.

There's a fic where Naruto stops going after Sakura and she starts going crazy because her one source of affirmation of her looks is gone so she goes nuts.

Also she straight up says she hits Naruto to make herself feel better.

I can't remember the website either

Naruto dies as a kid but not because of villagers or anything...it's because he accidentally fell behind his couch and broke his neck.

Or choked on something.

Or fell off his balcony and landed on his head.

Just the fucking list of things that kills a child every parent video warns about when watching over a kid.

Now imagine Naruto does die like this frequently but is revised every time with bijuu chakra.

First time a burst of red and Naruto's eyes change.

Second time his hair is red-orange like Kurama's.

Kurama shows up warning both Hiruzen and Naruto that "If he goes 9 times...thats it! The Shinigami told me he's taking Naruto's soul as he's clearly too stupid to carry the Eight Trigrams."

Naruto has died 7 times before he joins team 7 and still doesn't have an ounce of self preservation because he was taught he didn't need it.

Then Sakura punches him once a loud crack happens and a deep voice warns "8." And Naruto gets back up healed but now has a tail.

Or he's got 4 left when he joins team 7 and when Tsunade is treating him after Sasuke's leaving and the shinigami holds up a sign saying 3 much to Tsunade horror and Sakura unknowingly causing the brain bleed when she hit him for not bringing Sasuke back.

I've been binging those Recap YouTube channels of people taking tests, getting screwed over by snobs and then dying and coming back so I thought merge that with a Naruto time travel fic.

Naruto wakes up the day of his Painting the Hokage monument, with his adult brain.

Naruto doesn't get caught because he uses Sage Mode + Transparent Escape to hide from Iruka's sensory abilities.

During his final exam Naruto calls out Mizuki and Iruka.

"I am the 9-tails jinchuriki, my chakra could fuel every ninja in this village. I can not preform a basic clone. My mother couldn't either and had used the water clone to graduate. Kakashi had used the shadow clone to graduate. I will be preforming the shadow clone and Mizuki I recommend sepiku because if I catch your ass stealing the scroll of sealing henged as me I'm gonna feed you your own balls." Naruto says void of any emotions except contempt. Like a Hokage scolding a subordinate.

10 shadow clones and Naruto gets his headband.

Naruto isn't on the swing. He's in the Hokage Mansion reading the scroll waiting for Mizuki.

Mizuki shows up as Naruto and is immediately neutered like a dog.

"Remember what i said?" Naruto asked grinning as he is coated in red chakra.

*RIP!*

**"Now swallow."** Naruto orders.

Hiruzen walks in to see Mizuki choking on his own boys and Naruto already working on the flying thunder god.

"Orchimaru plans to attack during the chunin exam. I need to focus on sealing to learn the 5 elements seal to fight Gaara." Naruto says with 9 tails behind him completely calm and controlled. "Also Root is still around and Your teammates are shoving extra paperwork onto you."

Hiruzen turns to the geezers that have been riding his coattails and summoned Enma.

Meeting Jiraiya: "I Don't need anything else you have." Naruto shouts making a Rasen-Shuriken and carving out a huge wall of a mountain "SEALING TRAINING NOW!"

Naruto when he summons Gamabunta just decides to drink with him.

**"You know we could kill him for a Rinnegan?"** Kurama suggests every time Sasuke pisses off Naruto and Naruto is just treating it like an adult dealing with a moody child.

Naruto discovers cursed energy and what it can do. It's called 'Transparent'

Invisibility. More accurately his does that. Cloak himself in it no one remembers him or even can see him.

Naruto's desire to be seen and Remembered manifests as the ability to disappear and be removed from the minds of others.

Naruto eventually learns he can choose a topic of subject to blank out of people's heads in a fight. Neji forgot Taijutsu existed during his fight, Gaara and Tsunade forgot blood existed.

This culmination of this mixed with Naruto discovering the Black Flash creates his Domain Expansion: Fox Hunt Forest.

A forest that drains the memories out of the victim's head one by one as they run from the Kyuubi and eventually the only thing left they have is running.

And the best part is whatever information the forest drains becomes a fruit for Naruto to eat and gain that info: Each fruit has a color meaning Jutsu's, Memories, Skills.

Naruto first full use of this domain is against Hiruzen. First he loses the summon, then fire release, then the stone dragon, eventually Naruto targets His wife's Memories when Hiruzen orders Naruto to stop and Naruto Response comes from the Fox's mouth **"in here I'm the god and your the monster."** and Hiruzen immediately understood what he had to give up to get out of this forest.

'Kushina and Minato.' Written on a golden apple appears on a tree and Naruto bites into it.

A red head being brought to The Leaf, a white haired toad raising a blonde, the blonde saving the red head, the two eating together, the news of the pregnancy from Hiruzen's wife, the day of the Kyuubi attack. His mother giving Naruto to Hiruzen.

The last bleach White Ninja Naruto met took Sasuke so he's immediately on defense around Sai.

"Kill it now before it Bites Sakura or me!" Naruto shouts grabbing a kunai.

"Hey Naruto Sai is a reserve ninja." Kakashi said.

Naruto looks at Sai "He's hiding something...Not risking it." Naruto heads immediately to the Hokage office to get Tsunade to change this...THING off his team.

"I don't know if he's a traitor or an Orchimaru Clone or something but he's weird!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Naruto your sensei reads porn in public." Shizune says.

"And yet Sai is more creepy!" Naruto exclaimed.

"What exactly is wrong?" Tsunade asked

Sai walks in and Naruto gestures at Sai while making snake noises.

Naruto as a young child is in the forest after struggling to catch his dinner when this Old man walks up and just reaches for one of his catches.

"That's mine." Naruto says and Hiruzen doesn't hesitate to grab one.

Instinct took over and razor like teeth manifesting in Naruto's jaw as he bit the whole left arm off Hiruzen as a red chakra cloak covered his body and the Hokage watch Naruto eat the severed limb.

Naruto then breathed out a stream of fire from his nose signaling he had aquired the Fire Elemental Release.

Naruto is immediately grabbed by Anbu and dragged to a cell.

Naruto learns his chakra is completely fit for Adamantine Techniques...including that Adamantine Staff thing that Hiruzen summon does.

So Naruto claps his hands turns into a solid brick of Golden Metal and for a few seconds can't move but he's indestructible and Immune to jutsus.

Kakashi learns this the hard way when Naruto used it to block the 1000 years of death and breaks Kakashi's fingers from the durability.

Then think about the weapons Naruto turns into all the time now add the Adamantine Durability and Chakra Surpession to them?

Kiba and Akamaru break every tooth on his Perfect Defense.

Then when sage mode is added Naruto learns His Adamantine Statue form is perfect for absorbing nature energy.

But it's Sasuke who gives Naruto his greatest Jutsu. After becoming a Snake Sage Sasuke shares the Inorganic Animation Jutsu or the Turn Metal/Rock into Living Creatures.

You ever see Pikachu's Golden Armor Form in the anime?

Naruto starts hunting his food.

Rabbits as a student to feed his need for proteins.

But then when he murders a sabertooth tiger with a kunai during the Chunin exam second task. he starts wearing it's pelt as a jacket.

Conveniently this is around the time people stop telling him orange is a bad color for a ninja because the ones that saw him skin a tiger aren't saying shit and the ones that see his custom knife handles made of Saber Teeth.

Harry finds a book on summoning Eldritch powers and they are all bidding for Voldemort's soul.

This means Harry has a method to gain power while removing Voldemort's soul from his scar.

Which soul eating monster/God/Demon would be the best option to trade for power?

Like Lucifer Morningstar could give him demon powers. Vecna could give him the ability to rip out souls. NULL could give him a Symbiote.

What's the best combo for Harry selling the fragments to other universes Deities?

Harry learns the order didn't wanna reform after last time because they ruined their finances joining during he first go round.

Think about it the time they were supposed to working, developing a trade or something their time was spent going into combat.

Moody did alright because he was an Auror at the time but rando #30563 wanted to be a wand maker or something and missed the opportunity.

So what was once a 10,000 wand strong army is now...8 people. And some of em aren't even the original group.

So Harry gets the idea to fund them. Setting up a LLC with official pay rolls and bookings Harry has tripled the recruits of the order in a short time.

Then when the Ministry finally admits Voldemort is out there and needs to be stopped its not Dumbledore Talking to Fudge it's Harry slapping the bill for the Opperation of the Order on Fudges desk. "Sign this that the Ministry will be paying Philosopher's Industries operations till the defeat of Voldemort and you've got your army." Harry holds the pen and the shadow on the wall makes him look like he has horns.

All this started because Harry was kicked out of the meeting before 5th year by Molly when he was starved of information.

Izuku still has a Stockpile Quirk it's just empty. But in defeating All For One gained a new perk. He can absorb Quirks through intimacy.

He has to rail to get it not just a touch based he has to have an actual connection to the person.

The first one that he unlocks is Ochaco's but then one night he also has Shapeshifting realizing Ochaco has been letting Toga use her form occasionally.

This leads to Todoroki introducing his sister to Izuku for the Frost Quirk.

Momo is next because this needs to be tested so she's kinda testing the potency of it. Izuku is a close friend so a one night stand does grant a watered down version of her quirk. And this throws so much into questioning what constitutes the access to the ability? How many times does it have to happen to fully activate?

The orgy with the Wild Wilds gets weird when he gets a Video Game HUD from Scan [for sake of the story every quirk that was taken by All for One got returned to the original user when he died for real]