u/Any_Tie_1144

Last month my older sister and her boyfriend of 4 years broke up. My sister is 23 and her ex boyfriend is 24. They were living together, had bought pets together, and he had told me that he planned on proposing within the next few months. I was completely thrown off guard.

My sister told me it was a lust issue. She said he wasn’t having sex with her hardly at all no matter how much effort she put into making herself appealing to him. She said after a while she checked his phone to ensure that he wasn’t cheating. No cheating, but she said she found a LOT of porn. Reddit, twitter, only fans, saved/downloaded stuff etc. He was even sharing porn links with his buddies.

She brought it up to him and he said he’d stop. After a while she found out that he had been coming home early from work in order to have time alone to jerk off without her finding out. I asked her if she has any idea why he didn’t find her fulfilling (my sister is absolutely beautiful) and she said she was clueless. She even admitted that she allowed him to experiment with her feet and try anal even though those aren’t things she was necessarily into because she wanted him to be satisfied.

She said their sex life was great and very healthy for a long time but slowly tapered off without reason. Scary stuff!!

Fast forward to last week, my boyfriend’s sister made a joke about not getting laid. She’s also absolutely gorgeous so I of course questioned why the hell her husband wasn’t getting the job done. She said he just stopped after a while. I asked her if she knows why and she said he watches a lot of porn and she assumes having sex is too much work for him at the end of a long day. She’s 22 and he is 23. Both attractive, healthy, seemingly normal people.

What the hell is going on?! Should I be scared that I’m going to end up in a sexless marriage?? My sister and my boyfriend’s sister are both huge inspirations to me. Hard working, beautiful, and do a wonderful job taking care of their men. They both are sex deprived.

I know my boyfriend jerks off pretty frequently but I only kinda cared until now. Most of the time he lasts the perfect amount of time. I can tell he has to pace himself in order to make it last longer and he seems to have better orgasms that way too. I typically finish very quickly but have no problem continuing to be turned on and enjoy it until he’s finished.

More frequently I’ve noticed that he’s been struggling to finish. It’ll be completely random and doesn’t seem to correlate to his energy level or how much effort I put in. After a while he’ll stop being lovey and just go fast and hard with extreme focus which I think is kind of a turn off. I don’t want my man to have to TRY to cum while having sex with me. Ouch.

I communicated with him about it and he told me it happens because he jerks off. I just hate it. Tainting my good time so you can play with yourself is so lame. He doesn’t seem like he has any plans on stopping, though.

That alone wasn’t enough for me to get upset because again, our sex life is 90% perfect. He knows I’m always down to have sex and I initiate at least half of the time but he’s still feeling the need to jerk off? Im getting scared now because of my sister and bf’s sister’s experiences. Hopefully it’s just a coincidence that they’re both struggling and it’s not a widespread issue. Gulp.

Last month my older sister and her boyfriend of 4 years broke up. My sister is 23 and her ex boyfriend is 24. They were living together, had bought pets together, and he had told me that he planned on proposing within the next few months. I was completely thrown off guard.

My sister told me it was a lust issue. She said he wasn’t having sex with her hardly at all no matter how much effort she put into making herself appealing to him. She said after a while she checked his phone to ensure that he wasn’t cheating. No cheating, but she said she found a LOT of porn. Reddit, twitter, only fans, saved/downloaded stuff etc. He was even sharing porn links with his buddies.

She brought it up to him and he said he’d stop. After a while she found out that he had been coming home early from work in order to have time alone to jerk off without her finding out. I asked her if she has any idea why he didn’t find her fulfilling (my sister is absolutely beautiful) and she said she was clueless. She even admitted that she allowed him to experiment with her feet and try anal even though those aren’t things she was necessarily into because she wanted him to be satisfied.

She said their sex life was great and very healthy for a long time but slowly tapered off without reason. Scary stuff!!

Fast forward to last week, my boyfriend’s sister made a joke about not getting laid. She’s also absolutely gorgeous so I of course questioned why the hell her husband wasn’t getting the job done. She said he just stopped after a while. I asked her if she knows why and she said he watches a lot of porn and she assumes having sex is too much work for him at the end of a long day. She’s 22 and he is 23. Both attractive, healthy, seemingly normal people.

What the hell is going on?! Should I be scared that I’m going to end up in a sexless marriage?? My sister and my boyfriend’s sister are both huge inspirations to me. Hard working, beautiful, and do a wonderful job taking care of their men. They both are sex deprived.

I know my boyfriend jerks off pretty frequently but I only kinda cared until now. Most of the time he lasts the perfect amount of time. I can tell he has to pace himself in order to make it last longer and he seems to have better orgasms that way too. I typically finish very quickly but have no problem continuing to be turned on and enjoy it until he’s finished.

More frequently I’ve noticed that he’s been struggling to finish. It’ll be completely random and doesn’t seem to correlate to his energy level or how much effort I put in. After a while he’ll stop being lovey and just go fast and hard with extreme focus which I think is kind of a turn off. I don’t want my man to have to TRY to cum while having sex with me. Ouch.

I communicated with him about it and he told me it happens because he jerks off. I just hate it. Tainting my good time so you can play with yourself is so lame. He doesn’t seem like he has any plans on stopping, though.

That alone wasn’t enough for me to get upset because again, our sex life is 90% perfect. He knows I’m always down to have sex and I initiate at least half of the time but he’s still feeling the need to jerk off? Im getting scared now because of my sister and bf’s sister’s experiences. Hopefully it’s just a coincidence that they’re both struggling and it’s not a widespread issue. Gulp.

My boyfriend is pretty closed off, insecure, and hyper independent. The only reason I really know it’s a dad related problem is his half sister telling me. I had brought up some of his quirks that make it hard to be in a relationship with him and she said they almost all boil down to him not having a good male role model.

They have a dad, but he’s lame. He’s present, but not considerate at all. For example, he’s selling the project car my boyfriend spent a LOT of time doing body work on in his teens simply because he just doesn’t feel like finishing it and could use some extra cash. He doesn’t even seem to recognize how rude it is to brush off the hard work and sentimental value.

He also cheated on my boyfriend’s mom when my bf was 15, lived in the garage for a while once she cut things off with him, and then accidentally knocked up some other lady while still living in their garage. He moved in with the new lady and has started a new life there.

I honestly think my boyfriend’s dad might be on the spectrum. He’s hard working and helpful but just completely dull when it comes to emotional maturity. He will preach all day to my bf about what he should be doing with his life. It’s so hard to listen to because I know my boyfriend is just thinking about how much of a hypocrite he is.

He’s in contact and my bf could reach out or visit him any time, but he’s just a loser. He asks for favors without intents of returning them in the future and can’t control his lust. 3 kids with 3 women and he cheated on the first 2 wives. He’ll probably cheat on the 3rd eventually. Just yucky.

With all that being said, my boyfriend doesn’t know how to love. All he knows is work and hobbies. He says he loves me and I believe him but acts like I’m an alien. He’s a HORRIBLE communicator which is a dealbreaker for me. Any time I confront him or need comforted he will hold me all night but always says “I don’t know what you want me to say”.

Is there any way I can help him through this or is it a dad shaped hole I could never fulfill?

I can definitely see how a woman might think this about a man, but do men feel this way about women?

I dont mean completely helpless of course, I feel like if you’re attracted to that you might be a predator.

I just recently had to break up with a man who I love with all my heart because I was beginning to lose myself in the relationship.

For context, we are both young but ready to be done dating and settle down. We dated once before back in high school and I recall when we broke up he was very nasty to me. When we’d see each other in person I could tell he was drawn to me but when we’d talk he’d be short and rude. It made me sad but I accepted it. Of course, eventually he texted me something very neutral as not to be too obvious that he liked me still and it all went from there.

The main problem in our relationship was his lust. When we were fresh in our relationship our sex life was wonderful but it slowly turned into him being “too tired” and I immediately knew it was a porn problem. He has always masturbated but we didn’t see each other nearly as often in high school so I didn’t blame him. Now, there’s no excuse. He was picking porn over his real girlfriend more times than not.

The problem does not lie in him struggling at all, it lies in his refusal to be vulnerable with me. Any time I was upset he refuses to talk to me. He’d hang his head and say “I don’t know what you want me to say”. I understand that this is a sensitive topic, but he knows I would never judge him for anything. Once he said “ when I talk to you, I feel like I’m talking to God” he said this not to glorify me but to emphasize the fact that I love him no matter what.

I would ask him things like “is there anything I could do to help you through this?” And “ i’m not shaming you, I’m just worried about the health of our relationship long-term”. He told me he understood why I was concerned and that he tried to stop, but he never did. This of course led me to believe he doesn’t really care for me much. I could leave his house crying in the evening and he’d fall asleep the moment I walked out the door.

So, I broke up with him. His older sister who I love dearly texted and asked why I haven’t come over recently and I broke the news to her. She was very confused and expressed to me that he had just been talking to her about how he wants to marry me a few days before.

How could someone love me enough to want to commit their life to me but be okay with seeing me in so much distress? Don’t worry, I’m not going to go back to him, but I’m still curious. I love him so much. I wish we could’ve worked through it but now he’s back to acting like I don’t exist and like he doesn’t care even though he definitely does to some extent.

I was just laying in bed working on some homework when my little lady jumped in bed next to me. I reached over to give her a pet and immediately noticed a rather large baby bird hanging from her mouth. Naturally, I screamed and ran away from her. She looked confused and hopped after me as if she was trying to give me the bird. Before you ask, no, she is not allowed outside without supervision. I’m guessing my cat brought it inside and she found it before me or one of my relatives could.

I’m upset that I need to disinfect my house and she’s upset that I took it from her. Overall, I’m just proud of her. I’m glad she had that experience! She seems rather happy right now. Proud of herself ❤️🐦

I want to start by saying I’m an extremely anxious person and have a hard time getting out of the house. When I do go out, I’m nervous out of my mind and want to go home the whole time. I’ve been trying to experiment with substances to loosen up a bit because my anxiety meds can only do so much.

I’m not crazy about drinking because I was raised drinking strictly milk and water (torture, I know) and I never broke the habit so alcohol is just unbearably nasty or too sugary. I do it anyways so I can relax, but it’s not preferred.

I’ve tried smoking quite a few times but it’s a nightmare for me. I’ve smoked joints, hit pens, and tried edibles. Very small doses, of course. I always get super uncomfortable and just want to fall asleep to make it end. Every time. I experience what feels like a bad thought loop. I can come back to earth for like 4 seconds at a time and think to myself “you’re being ridiculous, you’re fine” but then I go right back to thinking about how life is meaningless and whatnot in a constant loop until I fall asleep.

Is there anything I can do about this, or do I just need to give up and be awkward at parties. Let me know!

At this point i WANT to move on. In my brain, everyone else sucks. Y’all have no idea how badly i want to fall in love with another man but they all irritate me. I never felt this way pre-ex boyfriend. It’s like he’s got me under a spell. I don’t want to date him again, but no one else tickles my fancy anymore. WHATS HAPPENING TO ME?!

My boyfriend and I M18 F19 have known each other for a long time because we went to school together. I love him very much and I'd like to think he feels the same way. We've both done each other wrong over the years because we were (and still are) young and stupid but we can't move on from each other like most high school sweethearts usually do. No one else seems to click with us the way we do with each other. We've created a strong bond.

I am extremely insecure, have family problems, and crave stability. He is insecure as well, but he seems to cope with it by working ALL day almost like he's trying to prove something to himself. I mention these things because I'm sure they’re the root cause for a lot of our non-accomidating behavior. We are both still level headed, normal people.

He started his first “big boy job” at a factory 2nd shift and it's definitely taking a lot out of him. Usually the afternoons were our time to spend time with each other (he would work on his cars while I did college assignments with him in the garage or we'd visit each others relatives together) but now he's working so our routine has been majorly disrupted. We've tried hanging out in the mornings instaid but he seems to just not want to as much as he did in the evenings. We still do see each other when we have free time, but our conflicting scheduleds make it rare. I miss him.

He has never been a great communicator besides the “honeymoon stage” when we'd initially rekindle our bond after briefly losing contact. Almost like he's willing to put in the effort just to win me over again lol. He'd text me throughout the work day saying he loved me or asking how my day was going, nothing crazy, but it seemed effortless and natural. When we are back to being settled into our relationship, all virtual effort dies out.

All I ask is that he makes an effort to communicate with me at least once a day and he hadn't been doing that. I had him sit down with me and explained that as long as we don't live together, I'll need some sort of communication with him every day. One text, one call, whatever he can manage in his free time. He apologized for causing me discomfort by his lack of communication and said he'd make sure to check in. I worry about him because he's always all over the place. I like to know that he's safe at the end of the day or have the peace of mind that an “i love you” mid-day brings.

He will text me now, but of course he does it in a very forced fashion. Never anything sweet, interesting, or personal. He doesn't ask me how I am or if I need anything. He just says “working with dad” or “at work” or something like that. This might be fine if we saw each other more often, but i just feel neglected because that's ALL I'm getting. I feel like a bitch complaining because he's doing what I asked him to do.

Like I said earlier, peace of mind and stability is overly important to me. I'm willing to give him way more space so he can comfortably settle into adulthood without feeling suffocated, but he was my relief at the end of a long day. Someone to remind me that I'm loved and cared for. Now at the end of a long day I sit and wonder if my boyfriend still loves me the same.

It hurts because I've had different jobs and plenty of hard times but he was always been one of my top priorities. I WANTED to talk to him and see him more frequently when I was more busy and stressed. The last thing I'd want to do is make him feel unwanted. He just doesn't seem to share that sentiment.

When we do see each other he's very affectionate, tells me he loves me and missed me, we have the best sex ever, and we fall asleep together. So amazing. Im pretty sure his feelings for me are still in tact which makes this hard to navigate.

Any advice on how I can help us work through this awkward transitional period? I dont have many adults in my life with healthy relationships to give me solid advice. I want this to last but the lack of effort is eating at me.

Usually during the beginning of missionary I have my eyes closed because I’m a relatively anxious person so it’s easier for me to let my guard down and really enjoy it if I take in the feelings and sounds first. After a while I like to make eye contact with my bf but every time I look up at him he leans down and kisses me or buries his head in my neck to avoid eye contact. A majority of the time I open my eyes he’s already looking at my face too. He’s a confident guy and loves to look into my eyes when we aren’t intimate so it puzzles me. I don’t mind, but I’m wondering if this is a universal experience.

Since we were in high school my man has gotten genuinely giddy when I get stern with him. Usually when he's picking on me and I finally lose it. Immediate smile across his face. It just makes me more mad because he's supposed to be taking me seriously and getting intimidated. It's only cute to a degree. Any explanations?

My labia and clitoral hood have always been on the bigger side but I’ve noticed that when I’m on my period they both shrink significantly then return back to normal once my period is over. Does everyone experience this?

I F19 started working as a DSP in the beginning of December and it started out great! The longer I’m here the harder time I’m having with the residents. One in particular, a man in his 30s with down syndrome loves to give me a hard time. It started with him just refusing to do any chores when he was assigned to me. This was manageable, I’d just ask one of my coworkers to get him started and then I’d take over. Now I’m working 3rd shift and he gets a shower around 5am and he’s been refusing to cooperate. Because the only other staff here sleeps at night it makes it hard for me to manage. I feel terrible when I have to wake him up.

For example, yesterday morning the resident went to the bathroom, assisted me to shower, and was seemingly in a great mood. When we were done with the shower he shut the water off but wouldn’t leave the shower. I did everything I could to get him ready while he was still in the shower but he was naked from the waist down and refused to move. He looked so cold and I could tell he was tired of standing but he wouldn’t budge. He stood there for at least 15 minutes, I didn’t give him any attention and even tried leaving the room for 5 minutes. The first time my coworker asked him to exit the shower he did.

He’s definitely stubborn with all the employees here, but I’m the only one he behaves this badly for. I’ve tried giving him more options, for example asking him if he’d like to sweep or mop when he’s not willing to do chores or if he’d like to wear blue or green shorts when he’s not cooperative in the bathroom.

I’ve never scolded him and I try to never tell him to do things or even really ask. I just suggest and try to be as patient and playful as I can.

When we have free time he’ll hold my hand, hug me, and say my name (he’s hardly verbal). So I’m really not sure where this came from.

Any advice welcome!!!!

I’m a DSP at a home with 6 adults with a verity of developmental disabilities. I’ve only had difficulty working with one of them- a man in his 30s with down syndrome. I’m a smaller 19 year old girl so I don’t like pushing my luck with him. He’s mostly nonverbal but will say my name, hang out with me, give hugs, kiss the top of my head, and follow me around the house.

For whatever reason he suddenly decided to stop cooperating with me completely. One of his chores is to take his clothing protector to the laundry room and his dishes to the sink after breakfast. When I’m in charge of the dining he refuses to leave his chair and will occasionally throw his full cups of milk and juice onto the floor. He of course has to clean it himself afterwards but he doesn’t seem to care and continues the behavior.

When any of my coworkers ask him to get up while he’s refusing he gets up the first time they ask. So frustrating.

This morning while giving him a shower he refused to exit the shower. I dried him off and put on his shirt but he wouldn’t get out so I could put on his pants. We had to stand there until 1st shift got there and of course, the first time my coworker asked him to exit the shower he did.

He was shivering and his feet were turning purple!! Experiencing actual discomfort in order to show him just how stubborn he can be lol.

Any advice welcome. I’m very patient with him (maybe too patient?) and I do my best to reason with him. While he’s being stubborn it seems less angry/annoyed and more mischievous/ornery.