u/ApprehensiveWrap4114

Im 18M. My whole school life people always saw me as young and small, someone to over look and to not respect or take seriously. I now have this retail job and co workers the same age as me or in their 20s treat me like a child, and obviously the older 30-50yo co workers do the same. People tell me it will pay off when I'm older but what's the point of that if I'm missing out on young adult life now? I dont wanna wait till I'm 35 for adults to take me serious, especially for dating, women see me as a child. It sucks, I'd rather look my age or older than I really am than look like a child as an adult.

Question for the ladies. I'm 18M and I fear that it is an important thing women consider bc my size is no where close to 6-8in range (more like 3-4in bricked). I already have terrible luck with finding any women to date and I'm not the best looking, the answer to this question could be the cherry on top.

Starting taking the gym seriously 6 months ago and notice I start getting insecure about my physique, im skinny and i hate my scrawny looking arms and how my friends are able to connect their fingers like 👌 around my wrist to show how skinny and fragile my arms still are. How do I deal with this and keep moving forward?

Summers about to end and I'm not going to college or into trades, just working a part time retail job (4 days a week 8 hour days) save and make a decision at 20-22. I want to spend this flexible time to learn how to eventually live on my own by 25-27.

Im taking small steps:

1. open my own bank account

2. work as much or as little as I want

3. Hugh protein diet and consistent optimal gym schedule

4. reading books and self study

5. spend as much or as little as I want *only with the money I make to learn how to manage money

If I'm doing something wrong correct me, but also please add more advice with it.

18M here. I just downloaded tinder with my friend for the first time to give it a try and maybe set up a double date as we both never had girlfriends or any dating experience in hs. Me and my friend both believe this is our only shot at getting some dating experience since we cant find girls on snap or ig who want to hang out.

When you set up an account it asks you for an age range of women you would like, i chose 18-24. As I kept swiping, I came to the realization that every girl in my age group is way out of my league, and I'm starting to lose hope.

I thought i was doing pretty good at 18, I have a retail job and I'm saving to pay for my own college, I'm also teaching myself essential life skills and created a consistent gym schedule i have been on top of for the last month. I feel like I'm doing alot, but its not enough to even get a chance with a girl who is 18-24yo.

These girls are already traveling the world, going to all these fancy parties, and look very beautiful. I have so much work i need to do to achieve half of the success they already have and this realization has caused me to lose alot of hope for finding my person.

Its gonna take time to become "boyfriend material" :

1. looks and style must be in check

2. physique must be in shape

3. I have to work for money in order to pay for schooling which will get me a better job and in the mean time i need to teach myself skills that will make me valuable.

4. I have to learn how to be charismatic and how to carry conversations

There is probably more I have to do but even these 4 things are gonna take years to achieve.

Im slowly giving up on life, everything is so competitive and I just cant see myself reaching that level while I'm 18-25. I dont wanna wait till I'm 30 and a middle aged man to start finding the right women and living my best life.

I want to live a selfless life because ego creates so many heavy problems that are so avoidable if you just strip yourself of your ego completely. I want to improve my life to become a person who constantly learns and isn't afraid of being ignorant. But I really struggle with this because my ego gets the best of my mind and admitting to ignorance and being humble makes me depressed. I know there is a way to kill my ego and build a truly virtuous mind.

I understand the importance of these philosophical lessons:

"The most important thing you can know is that you know nothing"

And

"Those who are uneducated are not the ones who cannot read or write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."

Those Athenian leaders killed an innocent old man (socrates) because their ego got the best of them.

I've seen ego cause my family members make stupid choices and cause drama that ruined relationships and damaged reputation. I realized alot of people dont truly mature and let their ego get the best of them.

I have identified the issue that is holding back my virtue, but even though it is a simple fix, I can't seem to be ride of it. If i can't go about life with selflessness, I will always be a bad student of life, and never know what it is like to truly learn.

Just advice on how to get it back together after slumping for a while.

Im (18M) have realized how selfish and rude I was and now I want to make a complete change. I want to know how to start being a positive person because I find it difficult to break old habits.

So I've been in a bit of a confusing situation lately.

And when I say “further,” I mean hanging out more and maybe taking her on a first date — nothing intense, just the next steps.

I turned 18 two months ago, and recently my mom has been bringing up a lot of personal things she heard from my neighbor’s mom about their 16‑year‑old daughter. I’ve had a small crush on her for years, though I never told anyone.

Context

We first met when her family moved into the neighborhood. I was around 13, and we met at a summer BBQ. At first, I spent more time with her older brother, who was a year younger than me. Their mom has always tried to get us to hang out, so she often reaches out to my parents.

The summer I turned 15, I went to driving school with the brother, who was 14. That same year, their family hosted a Thanksgiving party and invited us. At the party, my brother and I hung out with the brother and his sister. During the night, the sister started acting a little flirty — she was easy to talk to, easy to make laugh, and honestly pretty charming. I didn’t want to make things weird with her brother, so I tried to keep some distance, but she kept following us around.

Toward the end of the party, I asked what grade she was going into. I assumed she and her brother were the same age, but she said she was in 8th grade and only 13. I probably showed that I was a bit thrown off by the age difference, and I definitely felt the “ick” once I realized it. Still, I ended things politely and said goodbye.

Two years later, when I was 17, my mom told me the girl’s mom had asked if I could tutor her in math. I was overwhelmed with marching band and honors classes, so I declined. After that, I stopped thinking about her as much, and the crush faded.

My Situation

I dropped out of high school during my senior year at 17 and started working toward a GED. Around March or April — after I had already turned 18 — my mom brought up the girl again.

She said the girl has been struggling in school and dealing with mental distress and depression, according to her mom. My mom mentioned my GED path, and apparently they didn’t know that was an option. Now they’re considering telling her about the GED so she might drop out too. This felt strange for a lot of reasons.

When I dropped out, I knew my life would change. Even though I was only 17, I suddenly had more adult responsibilities — working part‑time and studying for the GED — compared to a typical high school student.

I had already thought through whether it would be right or wrong to pursue anything with this girl. Before hearing about her possibly dropping out, I had decided it wouldn’t be appropriate. Not only am I 2–3 years older, but my lifestyle and responsibilities were very different. I felt like I would naturally have more social power in the situation, and that didn’t feel right, even though the age difference is technically within legal limits and we met as kids.

That conclusion helped me let go of the crush — until my mom told me about her situation.

Now, if she does drop out and pursue a GED, our lifestyles would be more similar again. It feels strange, almost like the universe is aligning things. She’s 16 and a junior in high school, and I’m 18 working on my GED.

I don’t know if an 18‑year‑old and a 16‑year‑old, both working part‑time and pursuing GEDs, is considered weird or inappropriate. I look younger than my age, but that doesn’t change the ethical question. I’m trying to figure out whether it’s wrong for me to have feelings for her again. I want to do the right thing, but I’m also lonely, and she’s one of the few girls who has ever treated me with genuine warmth.

Timeline

First met: I was 13, she was 10–11

Thanksgiving party: I was 15, she was 13

Through my mom: at 17, I hear she (15) wanted me to tutor her

I dropped out of high school at 17

Through my mom: I hear she may consider dropping out at 15–16. Im 18.

Now: I’m 18, she’s 16, and we may be in a similar position, is it appropriate to pursue her romantically?

Am I creepy for even having feelings for this girl? So many questions....