u/B_the_Chng22

I’m having a party coming up. I will have at least two FWB people there, although only one is the most active for those types of visits. I will open up my house for people who want to crash there cause everyone lives over an hour away but now I’m having a thing about who do I invite to sleep with me? Maybe it should I just be my sister to make it fair…. lol. How have others made this decision?

I’m not actually having a crisis over this, just sort of amused but a little concerned about social awkwardness.

Hello fellow RA folks! I realize that I have a belief that platonic relationships are safer in terms of stability and longevity. But I’m also realizing that I might be sort of jaded. As I am slowly transitioning from intentionally not dating for a few years to open myself up dating, I realize I keep coming back to this romanticization of a queer platonic partner. And I realized that I’m carrying a belief that that’s more stable than more traditional dating relationship. Does anyone have an opinion about this to share?

My 8 year old wears pull ups at night only. He’s super smart, advanced in all subjects at school. 99th percentile for his verbal skills…. But I wonder if part of the reason I treat him younger than he is or view him as younger is the visual of him in a diaper on a daily basis. He does act younger in some ways too, but I’m curious if it’s a psychological thing for me. Anyone else?

I have been considering taking my kids to Lake Compounce. I haven’t been since I was a teen I think. I have a 3rd grader who is on the shorter side. Will there be enough fun things (especially water park things) to do? Does anyone recall some height restrictions? He’s about 46.5 inches.

Thanks!!!

Hi fellow RA folks! This is a pretty vulnerable post. I’m a single mom to a sometimes sweet but also very difficult elementary aged child. I dream of having someone else in his life who is taking a vested interest in him. But I can’t imagine who would unless they were wanting to be involved with me. Thing is, I’m afraid I’m freysexual and lose sexual interest overtime and also have it in my head that romantic relationships are not as stable as friendships. And so I sort of feel like my only hope of having help parenting is to date, but I might have to find someone asexual? But what I really want is a platonic partnership, but it’s feels like a pipe dream. Who in their right mind would voluntarily take on the responsibility of a high needs kid who isn’t their own? And furthermore, is it wrong to date in hopes of primarily finding someone to help me parent? Also I feel like everyone is so conditioned for mononormativity that it would be hard for me to trust a QPP that wouldn’t just devolve/deescalate if the person found a romantic partner to prioritize. Which makes me feel like I need to date.

I am seeking any and all related thoughts or comments. Open to gentle criticism. Hope or inspirational stories encouraged.

-signed a tragically RA single desperate mother

I have the hardest time choosing to correct terms sometimes. I would like to see if there is a consensus on what these mean, and/or rank them in order of seriousness.and is there something that needs to happen in your opinion, that moves it from one to another? or is this just an age/geographical location thing?
So we have:
A. I’m seeing someone
B. Someone I’m taking to
C. This person I’m dating

Thoughts? Do some of them seem to denote sexual exclusivity?

I am a relationship anarchist and I’m also solo poly. So my relationships can be unconventional, but I need to refer to these folks sometimes to people who don’t know them by name and I’ve been stumped.

TLDR: rank the labels from casual to serious

I (40 f) have the hardest time choosing to correct terms sometimes. I would like to see if there is a consensus on what these mean, and/or rank them in order of seriousness.and is there something that needs to happen in your opinion, that moves it from one to another? or is this just an age/geographical location thing?
So we have:
A. I’m seeing someone
B. Someone I’m taking to
C. This person I’m dating

Thoughts? Do some of them seem to denote sexual exclusivity?

I am a relationship anarchist and I’m also solo poly. So my relationships can be unconventional, but I need to refer to these folks sometimes to people who don’t know them by name and I’ve been stumped.

TLDR: rank the labels from casual to serious

Anyone else (adhd/autism maybe?) have this thing where because you NEED accuracy in language, AND not being 100% honest feels like lying and is painful, struggle with how to refer to the various connections in your life to people who don’t know them by name? I understand this is hyper specific, but I have a feeling I’m not alone. I have had many connections where “Friend” doesn’t really feel accurate, and neither does “partner” and neither does “boyfriend or girlfriend”, and I hate the word lover. How do I get past this? What is the word you casually drop in conversation at the grocery store when an acquaintance is like “what are you up to this weekend?” And you have plans with a person you have an ambiguous connection to…???

I have a baby milk snake who is happy to hang out with me in my hand when I’m holding it. Sometimes it seems a little nervous about me when I go to take it out of its enclosure. Do they ever get to a point where they associate you with enough positivity that they want to come to you? If it seems a little bit nervous, should I stop and try again later or pick it up and let it acclimate to me (which basically takes three seconds)? I don’t wanna slow down building a potential bond if I am pursuing it when it seems fearful. Sometimes it doesn’t seem fearful at all btw, and sometimes it seems like a mixture of nervous and curious.

Hi! I only take Medicaid and my whole caseload are people who don’t work but aren’t yet on disability. I only need to work about 11 sessions a week to make ends meet, and my priority is my own high maintenance special needs elementary aged kid. If you were me, what types of things would you be thinking about given the bill on the horizon?

My son was given a Recital Pro, alesis. We don’t have the manual, but it seems there is a way to record and store one song. He loves to write music (he’s 8). Is there some device he can plug in to the keyboard to record more songs? And if not, anything that will connect to his iPad? And if not, anything else I should be considering that’s simple and not expensive?

Is this common or unusual… I swear this all started from walking all day in unsupportive sneakers on day early last summer. My feet hurt that day and then they’ve not been the same since.

I’m just curious to hear, how have people handled sex with existing partners while freshly processing the break up with another partner? I imagine this is different for everyone. In the mono world, people often take time before being ready to get to that stage with someone else, or they have casual or rebound sex right away. Has anyone experienced emotional difficulties with maintaining a sex life in other relationships? Did you need some time? Was it easy enough to compartmentalize? Was it a trigger for sadness? (I have never been in this situation, but many years ago when my dad died, I cried nearly every time I had an orgasm. I didn’t have the best relationship with my emotions at the time and it was the one time I had all my emotional defenses down. My partner was luckily very understanding that I was grieving.)

Any and all experiences people are willing to share are appreciated!

I am just piecing little bits together and I’m confused if I’m supposed to “let it heal” by babying it and staying off of it as much as possible (doing calf stretches of course) or do a bunch of things to try to break up (???) and have the fascia like have mirror tears and repair??? Am I getting that logic right? Or is it a both thing???

Also!!
On arch support, am I supposed to find shoes that surpass my natural arch (which is fairly low) or meet it? Some high arch shoes felt like walking on a golf ball. Birkenstocks, for example, had wayyy too high of an arch to feel at all comfortable.

Thank you in advance!

-lost and overwhelmed and scared

I realized I think I still make friends like a 5 year old. I will be like “do you wanna be my friend?” (But then ask if they have space for friends even if they like me cause friend saturation is a thing). Anyone else?

Controversial and vulnerable post warning. Please proceed with softness and an open mind.

Hi all. I have been on this sub for YEARS and admittedly, it’s been my main source of learning. I’m a therapist, and I am poly but with very little dating experience. I’ve never been monogamous in my life (I’m 40 now), but not lots of poly experience either, and only out of my very long term ENM relationship a few year back. Anyways, I have heard on here about some harm therapists have caused, and I’d like to one day position myself as a poly-competent therapist rather than a “poly friendly” one, but I actually have heard some negative things about this sub from other poly specializing therapists, and from some poly folks. So this is a controversial post here. But it makes me wonder if I have gotten overly familiarized with the very commonly peddled concepts on here and if I should be a little more open to diversifying my knowledge. Obviously I would need to get more familiarized with the books and podcasts and whatnot if I were to offer my services as a therapist who “specializes” in poly. But in the meantime, if anyone is willing to share some personal anecdotes that challenge some of the common advice given in this sub, I’d be grateful to expose myself to those views. I’d like to request that by the nature of this post, we don’t get into any debates or yuck other peoples yums! I would love to make this a safe space to hear maybe less popular points of view. I, of course, have been operating under the idea that the words of wisdom are here for a reason, but admittedly I’ve found myself offering advice on these threads that is just some form of regurgitation of things I’ve learned on here. And those comments get upvoted. And I’m wondering how much of that might be happening across the board, and perhaps we’ve created a bit of an echo chamber. Thank you all in advance for entertaining this. May curiosity probable here :)

Hi all. I just wanted commissary and or tips and or encouragement. I had a date with somebody last week that I thought went really well. I was very excited to meet her and I know she was too. But after our in person lunch date, she expressed not wanting to move forward. I started to wonder if it was related to monopolizing conversations, giving too much context or oversharing. I asked if she would be so kind to let me know if it was related to that so that I can be more self-aware and continue to work on it. I just got a text back confirming that she felt the conversation felt one-sided. I feel pretty sheepish right now and I’m sorry for her experience. And something I’ve been made aware of a few years ago, and I’ve been working on it. But clearly, I have a long way to go.

Backstory: Unfortunately we have a situation here where we can’t make the decisions but are trying to mitigate harm. Long story short, we have small “Christmas tree” type trees planted at the foundation of our rental house that the landlord has now been made aware of is not safe for the foundation or the well pipe nearby. She wants the trees gone. She was kind enough to allow us to take the time to dig them up and replant them elsewhere. However, we discovered cardinals trying to make a nest in one of them. We moved the cardinal nest to a lilac tree next to the bush that we fortified with cut branches from the Christmas tree (it’s a juniper for those that care) in hopes they would resume their nest building activities there. They did not. NOW, we had a pair of robins pillaging the abandoned nest we moved and making a nest IN THE SAME CONDEMNED TREE!!! 😫😫😫

I called the landlord to ask if we could wait till the fall, and she said sorry but no. She’s nervous to let it go any longer. So… we moved the Robin nest that looked almost completed to the spot they were pillaging from, and are hoping they use it. It made me sooooo sad to see them go back to find their best gone. They have not yet discovered their relocated master piece. What are the odds they will? And if not, will they have enough time to make another nest before she lays eggs??? I live in New England.

TLDR: I had to stop robins from making a nest in a tree we have to move (per landlord). Will the robins likely use the moved nest? Or if not, will they have time to rebuild elsewhere before she lays eggs? I feel heartbroken.