u/Bibbidy_90

I think because of my ROCD and anxious attachment i worry these negative traits are ruining everything great about us. We Have so so much fun together, he's considerate and kind and funny and silly and safe but we clash when I choose I'm annoyed at something I've created, he gets frustrated like why did I have to say something when nothing is wrong and then it feels weird.

This weekend I asked him who he thought was better looking one in our relationship and he said himself, only slightly. He says I'm stunning, beautiful and hot but because he's the way he is, he'll say things truthfully then I was peed off with his answer. Usually, 90% of bickers are me asking about his exes at the core of me not feeling enough.

It's like the us that is, the us that fell deeply in love is here still but there's a pokey little pain in the ass wanting to sabotage it and I worry he'll get annoyed too much and leave and then other parts of me thinks will he happier elsewhere. Our relationship works because we know each other intently, we 'get' each other and oddly enough, communication is or was great. I feel my insecurities rise, I poke him, we clash more because he's like where has this come from, I go inward because I feel bad, I apologise we talk through and then cycle goes on.

I want to end the self sabotage cycle today.

New job.

New house.

Passed driving

Ocd is like, oop what's next let's be prepared for something bad.

Explain like I'm 5 how to heal my anxious attachment.

My triggers are not being enough or comparing to exes or if he loves me enough he'd do XYZ ignoring the rest of the alphabet he does do for me.

My instructor is suggestion

29th Monday 12:30 to 14:00

2nd Thursday 12:15 to 14:15

3rd Friday. 8:45 to 10:15?

3rd Friday 12:35 to test

My test is 1:35pm on Friday 3rd.

Is he rinsing me or do I say yes? I can drive just some tweaks and small minors I keep making.

We've gotten deep into a habit of YouTube and Roblox and I'm feeling heavy in the regrets. It's just me and him and I'm addicted to my phone too so I know he's copyong what he's seeing and that's my confession. Judge me but please help me with games and things we can do hours after school. I work until 5 then I start dinner, then we eat then movie and bed. But that time between school and dinner he's on phone or switch or YouTube (no garden ATM but will soon).

Happy, healthy relationship but since we've started the house stuff I feel my partner has gotten more stressed and I analyse of he's sick of me. Context he gives himself a lot to do on top work, won't ask for help but is always grateful when I do (always offer) and he'll mentally drown himself.

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He's still affectionate, very much so.

He's talking about the house and plans.

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I think my big stressor is the mortgage is his as I couldn't get on it yet (plan is place dw) so my brain is like DANGER, HE COULD LEAVE, HE COULD KICK YOU OUT and on top of his lower mood I'm overanlysing everything and noticed my anxiety is spiked so high. Why did he say that? Was his tone off? Are my cute quirks now annoying?

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I feel I can't share this either as when we're together it's great, it's more when we're not together but I do feel since we had a medium sized tiff recently things feel off for me and it scares me. We've spoken in detail, both taken accountability, discussed ways to handle it better. He'll usually always call and apologise first but I can't shake it that quick.

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Help me out if you've experienced this spike.

I feel I always have something to say or query and I'm like is this normal couple things or am I stressing him out?

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Example - we're buying a house, he was listing all home projects he wants to do, I said excitedly I'd like to try something. He said can't I just do it? I said well yes but I've never been shown and he said its don't have the patience. Now, he is right. I know this but I said well yes but if I want to learn I'd like to.

My partner had the deposit and secure the mortgage as I have bad credit (improving it, felt the need to disclose). I am due to sign Deed of Consent and separately he's got a solicitor to create a document that if he dies, tbe mortgage is paid and property is mine. I have two questions so I'll break down best I can.

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On the above, does the solicitors insurance document override the lenders Deed of Consent?

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Secondly, I'll be paying just under half for overall financial contribution of the property which is £800 plus food £250 pm. He'll be paying more for his debt and child maintenance which is separate.

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How and what can I do to ensure if we split, and he sold, I'd be entitled to some of the sale, if I even would. Over course of the two year fixed we'll be working on some renovation some direct cash and some from loan, so I think I'm legally allowed to have sme of what I may put in.

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It feels weird to be discussing this when we're excited but I'm also a woman and he's a man, and the solicitor is in his name and I don't want to be done over, not that I think he would.

My partner and I have a healthy, loving relationship. We spend a lot of quality time together and I generally feel loved and secure.

The issue is my expectations around our anniversary.

It’s coming up and at first it seemed like he’d forgotten. We’d discussed doing something, but he also made other plans that weekend. He then said anniversaries aren’t a big deal to him and that we celebrate our relationship all year anyway.

I feel conflicted. Part of me agrees — it is just a date and we do plenty together. But another part of me feels hurt and thinks, “why wouldn’t you want to celebrate us?”

He’s since said he will do something because it matters to me, and suggested he may already have planned something but that I’ve probably ruined the surprise by bringing it up repeatedly.

I realise I struggle with uncertainty — when things felt vague I started seeking reassurance and details, which then frustrated him. He’s very laid-back and likes surprises, whereas I’m more emotional and want clarity.

He doesn’t naturally care about anniversaries but does things for me because they matter to me, not because he feels strongly about them himself.

I don’t want big gestures or gifts — just acknowledgment.

My worry is I’m putting pressure on him and becoming a source of stress, even though I know he does try.

So I guess my question is: am I overthinking this? Is “I’ll do it because it matters to you” a healthy response, and am I just wanting him to feel about anniversaries the way I do?

Would love perspectives from people in relationships where one partner cares more about these things than the other.

I caught myself finding faults where there weren't any. Laying unrealistic expectations on my partner and p-ssing self off when he didn't do or say what I'd expected. I was annoyed and told myself sme BS I'd seen online but it worked.

'I am reacting to feelings, not facts'

As in I've created this narrative.

I told myself XYZ equals ABC and made myself annoyed over nothing. He's not perfect. Neither am I. We're humans who can p-ss each other off at times but it doesn't devalue our relationship. I chose him over sitting in my irritation and stopped the thoughts before they latched.

I feel I didn't appreciate the times it was me and him, I'd be like uh night to myself boring but I'd always have him next to me, following me around. We'd snuggle and he'd yowl if I'd gone to bed and not told him and he patter up to join me pressing all my laptop buttons and I'd be annoyed or I'd wake up and hear him slurping himself clean in middle of the night. Just needed to get that out in a space I feel safe to. I miss you Shelby 🐈

As mentioned, my sons dad quit his job, has no intention of getting a job and is acting carer for his girlfriends two (out of four) children. Will he owe me backpay if and when he gets a job? I thought he would but he said he wouldn't?

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I (F35) am looking for advice on how to aggressively fix my finances, but also how to cope with the immense guilt of feeling like "bad girlfriend material" right now.

My partner (M34) and I are in a long-term relationship. He recently saved up for our mortgage deposit (with some extra help from his family). Because my credit is currently bad and I have zero savings, the mortgage and house are solely in his name. The plan is for me to aggressively fix my credit over the next 12 months so we can remortgage together next year and put my name on the deeds.

I am making some progress: i’ve paid off some debts (though some are still there) and I am finally learning how to drive.

But at 35, I feel completely useless, left behind, and like a financial liability to him. Intellectually, I know this doesn’t completely define my character, but the shame is heavy. I want to be an equal, supportive partner, not a burden.

For anyone who has been in a similar spot:

What are the fastest, most effective ways to repair bad credit in a year?

How do I structure my daily/monthly budget when starting from absolute zero savings?

How did you handle the relationship dynamic and shake the shame of your partner carrying the financial weight?

Thanks for reading.

My 7 year old is a fussy eater.

My partner is a great cook.

His daughter will try most things.

My son will try but won't like.

How can I encourage my son without seeming like we're ganging up or pressuring but also allowing family time and eating same meals?

I’m currently in probation in a Recruitment Partner role and have decided I’m going to resign before im sacked. I’ve genuinely enjoyed parts of the role and know I’ve shown strengths in relationship building/stakeholder management, but I’ve struggled more with the process-heavy/admin side and I think I’m better suited to something more people focused.

My contract only requires 1 week’s notice in probation, but I was thinking of offering to stay for around a month to be professional and support transition. The awkward bit is there isn’t really much of a handover. I don’t have major projects or loads of ongoing work that needs transferring which is another reason my role feels less secure due to business restructure.

Has anyone else been in this situation during probation? Did you offer longer notice anyway, or just stick to the contractual week? And if you resigned during probation, did your employer actually keep you for the longer period or usually just end it sooner?

Would appreciate honest advice, especially from recruiters/HR people.

Always been this way, I'm 35 now and improved my hip clicks by working on my flexor and mobility but my shoulders still click - what exercises can I do to support this.

Also, I have a tilted pelvis which affects my posture/cause effect of each other. How to solve? I have those weird petite girl knees that go inwards to which I never knew about until recently. Worried when I get older these will cause problems.

Relatively fit, but improving.

Healthy, slim, active.